A World Of Grey Clouds
by Livia Ethelind
Summary: An AU where Harry has a secret! She's a girl! What happens when she's revealed and other secrets are unearthed in the process? Sevitus - No slash. Individual warnings for some chapters. Fem!Harry, Slytherin!Harry WARNINGS: Neglect, Violence, Profanity, some CP
1. Under the clouds

**_A/N: I own nothing, make nothing._**

* * *

 _No, don't! I already told you!" the first voice shrieked. "Told me? And I'm suppose to believe that? I'm supposed to believe anything?" There was nothing to be seen except for that strange dark grey colour as the darkness descended. "Please! At least let me.." The first voice was sounding distant now. "NO! I'm not letting him touch MY CHILD! He's not taking anything else! After everything..." roared the other voice. It was almost dark. A coldness was approaching._

With that the dream became distant. Harry could feel the chill of morning and the green eyes slowly opened in the half darkness. Now the dream was forgotten and a new day begun.

Harry slowly pushed open the door to the cupboard and peeked outside. The house was quiet and pale sunlight was shining through the window. It had to be just about dawn. Harry crawled out of the cupboard as quietly as she could. Perhaps if she was quick and quiet about it she could walk outside for some fresh air.

Slowly the girl got up and made her way across the living room. She was still wearing what she'd been wearing when she was shoved inside the cupboard last night – saggy jeans and a tent sized T-shirt. Even though she was fully clothed she was freezing. How could a July morning be this cold? She comforted herself with promise of the warmth that would come in an hour or two as the sun rose further on the sky.

The front door was locked. Harry stood still for a moment and tried to find the courage to unlock it. She raised her hand and bit her lip as she slowly unlocked the door. The lock made a sharp clicking noise as she succeeded and Harry held her breath hoping that no one was awake to hear it. If she was found in the garden again she knew Vernon would lock the door on her and have her stand shivering in the garden until they needed her to help cook breakfast.

Harry opened the door and crept into the front yard. The lovely neighborhood was silent and peaceful. The sun was almost over the horizon and coloured the surrounding sky a vivid warm orange but above Harry the clouds were thick and grey.

She took a deep breath. It was uncomfortably cold and especially so for such a scrawny child but Harry was enjoying a few Dursley free moments. Life rarely had such moments and Harry knew she was going to need them to get through a whole summer's worth of gardening. That was the preferred chore given when she and Dudley were out of school for the holidays. Of course Dudley's only responsibility in that connection was to once in a while 'check on Harry' and see that she was still working which usually involved Dudley destroying one of the flower beds and blaming it on his cousin.

A few houses down a dog was walking about in the front garden and Harry decided it was best not to take a stroll down the lane today. The last thing she needed was a dog barking the whole neighborhood out of their sleep. She wrapped her arms around herself and winced when she squeezed her sore arms a little too much.

Harry looked down at her hands. Her palms were full of tiny cuts and scrapes from weeding for hours without gloves or tools. There was still some dirt left under her fingernails – this was what caused all the commotion last night as aunt Petunia had insisted that 'the dirty little freak' wasn't fit to be in her house. This had meant dinner came and went and having had next to nothing all the day Harry ended up begging for food – of course that just got her thrown in the cupboard so she'd learn _gratitude_.

Realizing that standing around in the front yard would look odd as soon as people began to stir she sat down on the doorstep. She rubbed her arms slightly as she sat there deep in thought. This month she would turn eleven. She wasn't quite sure when though as she had lost track of the date spending so much time outside.

"One more year down – seven to go," she mused.

Seven years. Seven years and then she would be free to go and do whatever she pleased. Seven years and there would be no more Dursleys. Of course the Dursleys preferred to describe it as them ' _throwing her out on the street in seven years and finally getting to be rid of her_ ' but Harry wasn't about to tell them she wasn't as scared of that prospect as they hoped she was. In fact, she wished they would do it now! Or send her to the orphanage which they also enjoyed threatening her with.

She could to it again. No one was around. She could just get up and walk away. She could run down the street and into the uncertain future. She sighed. That had not gone well before. Last time she tried to run away the first shopkeeper she asked for directions had called the police on her and held her at the shop until they came to get her. She wasn't surprised. She _did_ look like a street urchin in Dudley's clothes and her refusal to let him call her parents for her had not helped either. Harry shuddered as she recalled what she had had waiting back at number four for her.

Uncle Vernon had been civil with the police officers and explained how his nephew was a troubled child. Petunia had put on an act complete with crocodile tears, wrapping her arms around Harry and repeatedly exclaiming her gratitude for them returning her silly little boy as well as telling Harry that she would be brokenhearted if it ever happened again. When the door had closed after the police officers and the sound of the police car driving off could be heard the act was over of course.

Harry didn't want to think about the rest of that night – not did she have time to for at that moment the door to number seven opened. Harry got up quickly and carefully opened the front door. She cast one last glance at the grey clouds that were slowly dissolving above her before she disappeared into number four.

* * *

Elsewhere on the island the clouds were still completely covering the sky. The countless halls, corridors and classrooms at Hogwarts were abandoned for the summer and only a few staff members remained. Deep within the bowels of the castle one of these individuals sat completely ignorant of the colour of the sky and the time of day.

Severus Snape was seated in his favorite chair in his personal quarters. However the man appeared to be anything but comfortable. The dark circles around his eyes told of a sleepless night and his ridged posture suggested that none of it had been spent in a bed. The man was quiet and starring at a glass of firewhisky in his hand as he continued the battle against the temptation of downing it all at once.

It had been a long night. A night of reliving things that he had long since pushed into the back of his mind. Severus swirled the liquid around in the glass and placed it on the small round mahogany table on his right. He too considered whether any of the other occupants were awake. What time was it? He reached into his robes and pulled out a small pocket watch. It was neither as practical nor as beautiful as the magical options available but Severus had a history of holding on to things in more ways than one.

Noting that it was by now far too late to try to sleep and far too early to go outside he rose from the chair and headed for his private potions lab. He would find something to do. Something simple and mindless to take his mind off of things. How many hours had passed now since he received the message from the Headmaster?

Severus had been reviewing schedules for the next term when a little paper bird soared through his fireplace. It landed gracefully on his desk and unfolded itself to reveal a letter. The potions master had not needed to read it to know who it was from.

He had picked up the letter carefully and, sure enough, it was from Dumbledore who requested his presence in his office. Severus got up as quickly as he could and walked towards the door. He wasn't going to bother to floo there. The letter had said nothing about any urgency and Severus wasn't about to sprint to the Headmaster's side as if he was a dog eager to please his master.

In fact Severus wasn't pleased at all. He had looked forward to a quiet night. There was nothing more satisfying than the silence and peace of the castle once the noisy horde of students was gone. He had finally had a few hours in the day for himself. Of course there were still Pomfrey's supply of potions to brew so he still had something to keep himself busy. However, as if brewing hundreds of potions wasn't enough, the old coot had taken it upon himself to summon Severus at multiple occasions for the most trivial tasks.

"If this is about that schedule again - or Merlin forbid those drapings I'll turn him into mouse and feed him to Minerva!" Severus muttered under his breath as he neared the entrance to the Headmaster's office.

"Cherry hearts!" he sneered at the gargoyle and proceeded up the stairs as it jumped aside.

When he opened the door and entered, he was surprised to see McGonagall, Flitwick and Sprout gathered around the desk.

"Ah, Severus! Do come in!" Dumbledore greeted him from his chair behind the desk.

Severus carefully studied the faces of his colleagues looking for any hints as to the nature of this meeting.

"Then we shall retire, Headmaster," said McGonagall and nodded to Sprout.

The potions master gracefully swept aside as the three other heads of houses went past him and down the stairs.

"Headmaster, I received your message. May I ask...?" he began.

"Lemon drop, my boy?" the older wizard offered and gestured for him to take a seat.

"I'm surprised you haven't turned into one – as many as you eat," sneered Severus.

He took a seat in front of the desk and crossed his arms while the old man merely chuckled at his comment.

"I suppose you're not going to tell me what you were discussing before I arrived?" he inquired.

"On the contrary, Severus! I do, however, have additional things to discuss with you that your colleagues need not be present for!"

Severus' ears perked at that. Dumbledore had his attention but he kept his face disinterested.

"Do you need my opinion on curtain colours in the library again?" he huffed.

"I only thought it polite to ask all of you if you had anything against purple," the twinkling wizard replied as Severus snorted at the memory of that conversation. "No, Severus, this is serious."

The older man's eyes caught Severus' and his voice became serious as he continued:

"As I've just reminded your colleagues - Harry Potter will coming to Hogwarts this year."

Severus froze.

 _Now? Already? It can't be... Has it been so many years already?_ he wondered.

"I see," was his only reply.

"Regardless of which house he will be sorted into I would like you to fulfill your promise to me. I am sure you know what I am referring to."

And so it had begun. Now Severus was standing in his lab after having had no sleep all night and having been reminded of his oath to protect the Potter boy while he was at school. He had tried to argue that the boy couldn't possibly be safer anywhere else of course but Dumbledore had been quick enough to remind him just how much he owed the cause and just how much he owed Lily!

What had followed was a night of unwanted memories surfacing. Severus had found himself alternating between pacing the carpets thin and sitting frozen in the darkness. For a man who was said to be devoid of any feeling except for contempt he had gone through more emotions that night than imaginable. It had been no use trying to occlude his mind. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Lily's lifeless body. Finally in an attempt to make sense of the emotional mess he had settled on rage and destroyed a few good vials in the process.

The anger was undeniable. He was angry with the Headmaster demanding such things of him, he was angry with time for separating him from Lily and moving him closer to this and lastly he was furious with Harry Potter for existing and for slithering back into his life and causing him such misery. But he had sworn to do it all those years ago and he had little choice.

The potions master picked up a knife and began slicing rat brains with acute precision. He sighed and turned his focus towards the task at hand. At least this was going to be interesting.

* * *

A few days later Harry was washing dishes when Dudley came through the front door. The loud bang that came as the door shut itself alerted her to the imminent danger and she quickly placed the plate she was holding back in the sink before Dudley could push her on his way past. The push came as Dudley stampeded into the kitchen.

"Mum! MUM!" he exclaimed stopped only the grunt his annoyance that no plate had been broken by Harry in the process.

"What's that, sweetums?" Petunia replied and nodded towards the paper in Dudley's grasp.

"Mum, the other children are making a play!" he cried and stomped his feet.

"What do you mean, darling?" Petunia said as she rose from her chair - now noticing her sons distress.

"The neighborhood children are making a play for all their parents to see and they didn't tell me anything!"

Harry tried to hide a smirk. She knew Dudley was upset about being left out. At any other occasion he would have ridiculed anyone who suggested drama as an activity which was probably why he hadn't been included.

"The Hendersons are putting up a stage in their backyard!" Dudley huffed and finally let go of the crumpled paper that Petunia had been trying to get from him.

"Goodness," was all Petunia could say as she glanced at it.

"Vernon? Vernon! Come down here, please!" She called as she wrapped her arms around Dudley.

The sound of Vernon's footsteps down the stairs resounded through the building.

"What? What is it? Boy! Why are you standing about again? Get to work!"

Harry lowered her gaze and began scrubbing the plate as if her life depended on it while she listened to Petunia explain the situation to her husband.

"They are assigning roles later! I just want to be King Arthur! I WANT TO BE KING ARTHUR!" screamed the baby whale.

"Hush! Now, hush little diddykins! Mummy's sure they will give you the part if you ask them for it!" Petunia purred at Dudley.

"How did you get the manuscript, son?" Vernon smirked.

"Got it off Oliver, when he rubbed it in my face. Shoved him to the ground," Dudley mumbled.

"Serves him right!" sneered Vernon.

"I know you'll be brilliant baby, I know you will! Why don't you show mummy and daddy?" suggested Petunia as she tried to take Dudley's mind off the injustice of it all.

"Okay," grinned the huge boy. "Sit down, I'll read it now!"

The parents took their seat and Petunia cast a quick glance at Harry who was still pretending to see and hear nothing. Silence ensued as Dudley realized this would require him to actually read and tried to decipher the lines.

"Go on, son!" urged Vernon.

Dudley threw the manuscript to the floor in frustration.

"I cant! I can't! I need someone to read for the queen!" he wailed.

Then his eyes narrowed and a smug expression appeared on his face.

"Make Harry do it!" he grinned and applauded the brilliancy of his own idea.

Harry froze with a sponge and a teacup in her hands as she waited for the reaction.

"Honey, you know Harry can't be Guinevere. Harry is much too ugly to be a girl!" Petunia replied.

This was what Dudley wanted to hear.

"But mum, I need a queen even if it's worlds ugliest one," Dudley argued and glanced at Harry who was trying her best not to show any emotion.

"Didn't I tell you to get to work, _boy_!" Vernon suddenly yelled and got up from his chair.

The yelling startled Harry who dropped the cup into the sink. Vernon's hand grabbed her shoulder and spun her around.

"Do you think you can just stand around? Get out! Get out of my sight!" he cried and shoved Harry towards the front door.

Harry didn't need to be told twice. She picked up her feet and hurried outside to the safety of the view of the neighbors.

At this point she didn't care about being a girl anymore. She didn't mind the pretending. Of course she had found it weird at age four when Petunia had decided that she was much too hideous to be a girl and had invented the game. Harry was eager to please – or at least to stay out of trouble so she went along with it. Once in a while Petunia would slip up and refer to her as her but these days it rarely ever happened. But Dudley enjoyed taunting her:

 _"You throw like a girl!"_

"Can't you run faster than that, princess?"

It didn't matter to Harry. For all intends and purposes she was a boy and even she considered herself ugly. She wasn't quite sure which part of her face made her so ugly but since the Dursleys said she was she had to be, right? Besides, she really did look like a boy. Her mop of hair had been somewhat short ever since Petunia started cutting it and Dudley's old clothes didn't help either. She had often wondered if her mother looked like a boy too or whether she looked just like her father but she was unlikely to ever know the answer to that.

Harry got down on her knees by one of the flower beds. There would be hell to pay if she hadn't done any work by the time the Dursleys needed her. She ran her hand through her unruly mop of hair. She remembered when Petunia had cut it short that day when she was six and how it had grown back during the night. After several attempts the haircut finally succeeded in the end and the fact that Harry looked very much like a boy had never been more apparent.

Playing the game and making sure none knew she wasn't exactly a boy was easy for the most part as Harry was able to let herself believe it. However when she was reminded of it as she had been today she always became nervous about it and felt that everyone around her knew.

Harry didn't notice Dudley storming off to see his friends and she sat there deep in thought and weeded. The day passed by without any incident and when she was finally called in for dinner she washed her hands as clean as she could with the garden hose and entered. When she later went to bed she had actually been given enough food to stop the pain of hunger. Not enough to be full of course but she had been allowed a little more as the Dursleys celebrated Dudley getting the lead in the play. Harry wondered just how many children Dudley had been out bullying to make that happen. Still, she kept her mouth shut and crept inside the cupboard.

When she woke next morning she could already hear her aunt in the kitchen and as she crept out she could hear her uncle in the living room order her to get the mail. She rubbed her eyes and walked out to the front door. There were a few bills and a letter to Petunia but what caught Harry's attention was a queer looking letter addressed to her!

 _Mr H Potter The Cupboard under the stairs_

 **TBC**


	2. Do owls eat spam-mail?

**A/N: I own nothing, make nothing**

* * *

Harry starred at the letters on the envelope. Surely she was mistaken? She never got mail! Unless these were bad news? With her luck it certainly had to be, but how did the sender know where she slept? This detail had her both intrigued and unsettled at the same time. Harry wondered whether she should take the letter into the cupboard and read it there? But just then she heard a voice from the living room:

"Boy! Where's that mail? Get in here!"

Harry was startled by her uncle's voice. She turned and shuffled down the carpeted hallway towards the door to the living room. The living room was one of the few rooms in the house that Harry had seen little off – true she'd been there multiple times, unlike Vernon and Petunia's bedroom, but she was never there for more than a few minutes and she kept her eyes down. The room was decorated in pale shades of pink and puce. The wallpaper was floral and the cabinets were full of figurines and vases. Although Harry couldn't place a single one of the figurines in it's right place, even if her life depended on it, she knew the pattern of the carpet so well she could draw it in her sleep.

Vernon was seated in the floral couch reading a newspaper. He didn't even look up when Dudley came running into the room and threw himself into one of the armchairs. On his way there he shoved Harry out of the way and she dropped the letters on the floor. She got down on her hands and knees and began to collect them.

"Clumsy freak! Can't you see where you're going?" sneered Uncle Vernon as he lowered the newspaper and saw her.

Dudley snorted happily from the armchair and called for Petunia. Harry panicked slightly and gathered all the letters together into a pile as fast as she could before she rose. She was just about to go through the pile and find her letter again when Vernon snatched the entire pile from her. He grunted as he went through the first few bills.

"Wait," Harry mumbled and reached for the pile.

"Huh? Are you still here, boy? Get in the kitchen!" Vernon sneered, not bothering to look at her.

Just then he got to Harry's letter and Harry's eyes widened with apprehension. Vernon just starred at the envelope. His mustache was trembling and his cheeks were paling. Harry didn't hear any footsteps behind her as her aunt's arrival was masked by a combination of her fluffy puce slippers and the carpet.

"Vernon, what's that?" she softly inquired, yet it was clear that she had noticed her husband's condition and was nervous for she stepped towards her husband and 'nephew' and completely ignored Dudley's complaining that breakfast hadn't been served yet.

"That's mine," Harry stated and reached for the letter in her uncle's hand.

She had wanted to sound confident but it came out in a small voice. Vernon snapped out it and moved the letter out of her reach. He growled at her to get her flighty hands off it as Petunia gently pushed her to the side. Vernon handed his wife the letter and as she glanced at it she turned completely white. The two of them looked up at Harry who was incredibly confused at this point.

Dudley was quiet as he sensed something important was going on and that it had something to do with his cousin. Was Harry in trouble? Curious, the boy got up and waddled over to the couch to have a look for himself. The miniature Vernon squinted and tried to read the name and address on the front of the envelope but he only through the name before Vernon lowered the letter. That was still enough and Dudley now looked just as shocked as his parents, though not for the same reason.  
To him it was astounding enough that Harry had actually received mail.

"We knew this would happen," said Petunia in an effort to comfort her husband as he seemed to have momentarily stopped breathing. She put her hands on his shoulders and glared at Harry who was still standing there with her mouth open.

"Can... Can I have it?" Harry tried nervously but her aunt and uncle completely ignored her.

"Well, I'll have my say in this," Vernon muttered and got up.

He walked out of the living room with Petunia and Harry in hot pursuit. Petunia was offering consolation and Harry was protesting as loudly as she dared. They entered the kitchen where Vernon promptly stopped in front of the bin and ripped the letter to shreds before throwing the pieces away.

"NO!" Harry shrieked and ran towards the bin.

Vernon turned just in time and grabbed her as she ran near him. The child squirmed in his arms and he lifted her off the floor.

"Shut up! _Shut up, boy!_ " he roared as Harry started screaming and crying.

It wasn't fair! She had never gotten a letter before! And here it was just for her! And they ruined it! The fears of the content were long forgotten because Harry was sure that if the Dursleys didn't want her to have it then surely it was something she'd want to have! That's how it always was. If she liked something it was taken from her.

"Vernon! Put her down!" Petunia cried. She didn't realize she had just referred to Harry as a female.

"I'll put the freak down alright!" Vernon hissed as he entered the hallway and pushed Harry into the cupboard.

He fumbled with the lock as Harry kept trying to push the door open, but Vernon used his weight to keep it closed and finally got the padlock to click. In frustration Harry began kicking the inside of the door.

"Bastard! You bastard! That was mine!" Harry sobbed as she felt her strength leaving her.

"Shut up in there!" she heard Vernon growl on the other side.

"Honey, it's over. We got rid of it! Let's not talk about it. I don't want to think about..." Petunia said somewhere out in the hallway.

"Mum! I'm hungry!" cried Dudley inside the living room.

Petunia and Vernon agreed that it was time for breakfast and so they entered the kitchen and left Harry to her misery. Harry curled up on her tiny bed and sobbed loudly into her arm. She didn't know how long she'd be locked up in there and she didn't really care either. Harry couldn't be sure she wouldn't scratch her uncle's eyes out if she was not in the cupboard right now. Of course that was a nice angry fantasy but the truth was she could hardly believe she'd actually yelled at him the way she had because while she might like to imagine doing horrible things to them – especially Dudley, she could never find the courage to stay defiant in the face of Vernon's anger.

This time she hadn't backed down but this time was different. The letter was gone and Harry was sure she'd never see another one like it.

* * *

Minerva McGonagall sighed and collapsed into her chair. She was completely aware of the dark mass standing in the corner of her office but she chose to ignore Severus for just a few more seconds. She rubbed her temples and closed her eyes. It had been a very busy summer indeed and all she longed for was a few days of actual vacation. Of course that came rarely to the deputy headmistress as she was expected to take care of whatever little problem might arise when the other staff was away on holiday.

McGonagall's office was normally a tidy and cosy room decorated in gold and red with pictures of the highlands on the walls but now her desk was flooded with paperwork and there were additional papers and letters filling the armchairs. This was probably the reason why Snape hadn't taken a seat while waiting for her, she mused. Then of course he hardly ever sat down when invited to do so.

"I thought your note said eleven o'clock," she heard the familiar low voice say.

"Must be my mistake," Snape continued sarcastically.

He was almost as busy as Minerva as he had to restock the infirmary and she knew it. McGonagall opened her eyes and gave the man an exhausted smile.

"I'm sorry, Severus. I ran into a few problems on the way here. Won't you sit down?" she asked, forgetting that she had no paper-free chair to offer.

The younger professor simply walked over to her desk and looked at her with a strange expression.

"You're overworked, Minerva. Perhaps you should..." he observed, his indifferent expression betrayed by the hint of worry in his voice.

"I'll be fine, Severus! No need to worry about me," Minerva chuckled and before Snape could open his mouth to protest and argue that he was indeed not worried, she continued:

"Severus, I wanted to ask you to take a look at these – that is if you're not too busy?"

She handed him a stack of papers that had been sitting on her desk. Of course she didn't _need_ him to deal with those. She could have waited for Flitwick's return and asked him, but the truth was she wanted to see Severus. Ever since that meeting in the headmaster's office Snape had been more than usually reclusive. Sure, he wasn't a very social person to start with but he usually shoved up for dinner at least once a week during the summer to discuss with the other remaining professors. After the meeting Minerva hadn't seen him at all except for a short glimpse of him in the corridors and she was beginning to worry.

Perhaps he was overworked? McGonagall knew he was technically always overworked but that was voluntary and Snape never complained. What she really wanted to know was what on earth he had discussed with the headmaster! Had he been given some secret assignment that was now draining him? She'd never admit it but a part of her felt insulted that she wasn't included in this. However, she knew the headmaster usually had a very good reason for everything he did. Usually.

Severus glanced at the stack of essays he'd just been handed. They were all corrected but none of the them were graded which told him that these were likely the ones Minerva suspected cheating had been involved with.

 _Why would she be shoving these to me? Surely, Flitwick is a far better choice if she is really not sure... No, this can't be why she sent for me! What is the old cat up to now?_

Severus looked up from the papers and studied his former professor's face. She looked tired. That was understandable but she also looked worried.

"Are you quite well?"

The words clearly startled the woman and Severus smirked as he realized that these were the very words that had been on her own tongue. She nodded and looked as though she was trying to formulate a sentence with great difficulty. He hadn't realized anyone might think anything of his behavior the last two weeks. He told anyone who dared ask him for something that he was working and much too busy. The truth was that he was actually ahead on his work and spent most of his free time pacing in his quarters and fretting over the impending arrival of one Harry Potter. He wasn't going to discuss this subject under any circumstances. All he wanted to do was forget about it but that had proved easier said than done.

"I'll take a look at it. Was there anything else?" he continued and realizing he had just invited more questions he continued:

"What manner of problem did you encounter?"

McGonagall simply shook her head. She would never understand why she could not simply have a friendly conversation with the potions master. Every time she tried he steered the conversation right back to work. She considered it to his advantage that she knew him to be a man capable of immense kindness and self-sacrifice and that she therefore had never given up on him – unlike those who never made it past the first impression.

 _Still, he is a bit of a git at times,_ she mused to herself and smirked.

In all the years she had been employed at the school she had had few colleagues with whom she had disagreed as often.

"It's quite alright, Severus. I'm having some trouble with the acceptance letters, that is all."

She gave him a weak smile and stood to see him out but the man lingered.

"What manner of trouble?" he inquired.

"Oh, There's a few letters I've had no reply to. One of them hasn't been delivered even though several has been sent and the owls are driving me mad," McGonagall replied and sighed.

Snape raised an eyebrow at that. Occasionally there would be no reply from the muggleborns if their parents didn't wish them to attend but there was usually a reply of refusal when a second letter came around.

"How many have been sent?"

"Oh, a few hundred."

"A few _hundred_!" Severus cried.

The older professor shrugged.

"The pen that writes them is working overtime. I plan to send Hagrid to deliver one personally."

"Which student is this? One of the muggleborns?" Severus asked.

He wasn't quite sure if he wanted to hear the answer because he was beginning to suspect it was another person entirely. Minerva shook her head.

"No, Harry Potter," she replied and studied her colleague's face for a reaction.

None came. Snape simply nodded and turned to leave.

* * *

Tomorrow would be her birthday.

That was all Harry could think about as she lay on the floor of the sorry excuse for a house that the Dursleys had rented. She had been wrong. When she had been locked in the cupboard all she wanted was to get another letter and she was sure that she never would. Neither she nor her relatives were prepared of the storm of letters that began arriving for her. Now she was on some godforsaken rock in the middle of the channel – cold and miserable and she still hadn't had a chance to read a single one. Dudley was snoring on the couch next to her and she could hear the bed creaking violently upstairs every time Vernon turned in his sleep.

Harry wondered what it was they were keeping from her. It had something to do with her being a freak. That was why she was getting all those letters. It was her own fault. She clearly hadn't been good enough at pretending – pretending to be a boy, pretending to be normal. She couldn't help it. Freaky things just kept happening to her. This was why the Dursleys often preferred pretending she wasn't there to pretending she was normal. Harry tried to make herself as small and invisible as possible which wasn't hard.

She had grown terrified of other people. She saw the way they often looked at her – either with disgust or sympathy and she knew it was because she was a worthless freak. And she was terrified that they might discover just how much of a freak she really was. What would they do to her if they knew? Dudley said they would kill her by feeding her to lions but she didn't believe him. It had to be something bad though since her aunt and uncle went to such trouble concealing her freakishness despite not liking her one bit.

Harry drew herself a birthday cake on the dusty floor and glanced at Dudley's watch. Two more minutes. This house was the polar opposite of Privet Drive. It was old and filthy and grey like the skies outside. She knew the Dursleys had to be at their wits end to leave their home behind for such a place. More than ever before she felt trapped. The years would pass just as slowly as the minutes as she waited for midnight and her birthday. If only she could pass as a normal boy then surely she wouldn't have to stay with her relatives? Surely she could be free?

Just then the watch showed midnight. Harry blew out her imaginary candles and made a wish.

 _If could be happy, I promise to do better! Just give me one chance!_

Then fate and a half-giant knocked on the door.

* * *

"What do you mean, 'a wizard'" Harry asked with a confused expression on her face.

"I'm telling you, get out of this house! We don't want any of your sort here!" cried Vernon but the huge man ignored him.

"Yes, a wizard. Harry, haven't you ever had strange things happen to you? That's magic!"

Harry paused. True, she'd had plenty of strange things happen to her but could that really be magic? She was holding the letter in her hands that the visitor – Hagrid, he said his name was, had brought for her. It was identical to the others. She nodded quietly at the man and looked down at it.

"Go on, open it!" Hagrid encouraged her.

She broke the seal on the back of the envelope and pulled out at letter. Her heart danced as she read. How could this be? Could it really be true? Was this her birthday wish coming true at last? She had a strange warm feeling that hadn't left her since Hagrid had first laid his eyes on her and cheerfully exclaimed:

"Boy, you look so much like your father! Except those eyes! Those are Lily's!"

Finally some things made sense to her. She _did_ look like her father and if she did look like him perhaps she really could pass as a boy if she tried her best. In fact, would she have to? The man who said these words didn't look like any man she'd seen before and Vernon had called him a freak, hadn't he? Perhaps he was like her? Perhaps he'd understand? She was brought back from these thoughts by yelling and she realized the man was no longer in front of her but was having an argument with her aunt and uncle.

"I don't care what that freak says!" shrieked Petunia.

"Don't you dare insult Albus Dumbledore!" Hagrid growled.

"The boy stays here! He isn't going to some freak school!" continued Vernon as his wife had gone pale.

"That's not your decision!" replied Hagrid and gestured towards Harry.

"You left him with us! So you washed your hands! So yes it is!" said Petunia and turned to wrap her arms around Dudley but the boy was nowhere to be seen.

In the silence that followed all three adults and Harry could clearly hear noises coming from the corner where Dudley was loudly eating the cake Hagrid had brought as a present for Harry.

"Lily was _my_ sister! And I promised..." Petunia continued but stopped mid sentence as began screaming as Dudley now had a pigtail sticking out of his pajamas.

Harry couldn't help but chuckle. She'd never seen anything like it! This was _real_ magic! If the giant man had spoken the truth about that perhaps his assurances that this school was a wonderful place could also be true?

"Are you coming, Harry?" smiled Hagrid.

Harry paused. She had asked for a chance and she had only asked for one. She nodded.

"Get your things then. I'll be waiting outside."

The man then opened the door and walked out into the night. Harry turned and ran to grab her bag containing the clothed she'd brought along with her. Vernon was still trying to calm Dudley down and kept telling him that they'd get the tail removed as quickly as possible. Harry picked up her bag and put on her jacket. She didn't need to change as the floor had been too cold to sleep in her pajamas in the first place. As she turned towards the door a hand grabbed her arm.

"You know if they find out they'll send you right back!" whispered Petunia.

Harry looked up at her aunt. Petunia still had tears in her eyes from the shock of what had happened to Dudley. Harry didn't know what to say. She felt like her stomach was filled with ice.

"They only want you there because they don't know what kind of worthless freak you are!" sneered Petunia.

Harry wasn't sure whether Petunia was angry with her or the man but she knew she was right. Tears filled Harry's eyes and she pulled herself free and ran to the door. She didn't turn her head and so didn't she the terrified look on Petunia's face.

She had asked for a chance and she meant to take it.

 **TBC**


	3. Sorting things out

**A/N: Own nothing, make nothing**

* * *

Harry was walking up the wide staircase contemplating whether there was more than one stage of confusion. She had been confused for the majority of her life – or at least after the age of six when her aunt had invented the 'game' of pretending that Harry is a boy. She had been confused as to why she was different than Dudley and confused as to why she would disappear and reappear on the roof, why things occasionally started to float in the air or why that snake had been able to understand her. Of course the magical aspect had been answered now. She had assumed that this explanation would be the first of many and that she would never have to be confused again. She was wrong.

After a visiting the strangest street she had ever seen and purchased even stranger items and been given her very first birthday gift she found that she had even more questions. Then she had taken a train to the castle and on board the train she had met a boy with red hair who was now walking beside her. She had been terrified when then boy entered the compartment but she couldn't refuse his presence there as she didn't even feel she had any right to be there herself.

The boy – Ron, spoke a great deal and Harry found that very reassuring. It meant she didn't need to bother with keeping the conversation going and she quickly found that Ron was only to keen on answering her questions. So far she had learned that she was famous and that everyone knew her as ' _The boy who lived_ '. Furthermore she had learned that her scar was what was giving her away which caused her to comb her bangs further down over the scar with her fingers.

During the train ride she had waited in terrible suspense for Ron to realize she was not a real boy and that she was a freak and leave her in disgust. But it didn't happen. This confused Harry. How could he not see? What was even stranger was that Ron was smiling at her.

Now they were walking up the stairs with all the other new students toward a tall woman in a dark green robe who stood at the top watching them. Her hair was almost entirely grey and she wore glasses. Her expression was stern and her posture was elegant. All the student stopped in front of her and waited for her to speak. Harry looked up only to meet her gaze as her eyes were fixed on her.

 _Oh, no!_

Harry waited for the woman to call her out and tell her she couldn't go to Hogwarts and was to be sent home but it didn't happen. Instead the woman addressed the crowd.

"Greetings! My name is Professor McGonagall. I am the deputy headmistress of Hogwarts and you will also come to know me as your transfiguration professor and the head of Gryffindor house. I would like to bid you all welcome. In a few moments, I will escort you to the great hall where you will be sorted into one of the four houses. The houses are Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff! For those of you who do not know what this entails: You will walk to the front with me and I will call your names one by one. When your name is called you will take a seat of the chair provided and I will place the sorting hat upon your heads and it will sort you into your house. Please remain calm. I will return momentarily."

With that the witch turned and disappeared through a door. Harry followed her with her eyes as she did so. Then she felt Ron playfully nudging her in the side.

"Brilliant!" he smiled. "My brothers said we'd have to fight pixies!"

Just then they heard a snort behind them and turned to see a blond boy advancing towards them with two large boys following closely behind.

"Are you really that stupid, Weasley?" grinned the boy and then turned to Harry.

"So it's true! Harry Potter is really here!"

Gasps could be heard among the other children and Harry felt extremely uncomfortable as all eyes were on her.

"We've all heard a lot about you! Is it true you were raised by muggles? Well, there are many things you will soon learn, Potter! You'll find some wizard families are better than... others," said the blond boy and glared at Ron. He then extended his hand towards Harry. "My name is Malfoy - Draco Malfoy."

Harry only barely caught Malfoy's name for then Ron spat:

"You shut up about my family, Malfoy!"

" _You_ shut up! I don't need to know your name to know what you are! _Weasley freak_!" sneered Malfoy and turned back to Harry. "Honestly, Potter, you had better not associate with those people!"

Just then something stirred within Harry. It was a strange mix of fury and joy. Malfoy called Ron a freak. Ron would understand. Ron was like her. But Malfoy, he was just like her relatives! Harry simply glared at the blond boy and ignored the extended hand.

"I'm sure I can figure out who to talk to on my own," she sneered.

Just then she felt Ron grab her arm. She turned her head to see him smile at her as Malfoy simply huffed.

"Form two lines and follow me!" called professor McGonagall's voice above them.

Harry marched through the doors with the others, bubbling with joy. Had she made a friend?

* * *

It had been simultaneously the longest and shortest summer in existence. On one hand the days of pacing in his chambers had seemed to drag on to no end and on the other the start of term came faster than preferred.

Now, Severus Snape was seated at the teachers' table in the great hall, glaring at the Slytherins whenever he remembered to do so and thus attempting to disguise the discomfort he was feeling. In any moment McGonagall would enter with the first years and he would finally see his newest headache made flesh.

The noise in the room was deafening as the headmaster's previous attempt at silencing the hordes of students had only worked for so long. It had been months since they had seen each other and of course they were greeting every familiar face they saw and recounting their holiday to each other with great enthusiasm.

Above the four house tables hang banners in the house colors and the rest of the hall was decorated in golden and orange nuances. Wreaths of straw decorated with grain, fruits and tiny pumpkins hung on the walls. Snape's throat felt dry and he silently wished for the feast to begin soon so that he might get some water.

He already felt he had a pretty good idea what the Potter boy was going to be like. _Arrogant and self centered_. After all the boy had been famous from birth and no doubt lived a life of luxury with his relatives. Severus knew for a fact that Petunia's husband was fairly well off. Of course he'd given the boy the benefit of doubt but when Minerva told him about the letters he was sure he was right. _The boy either thinks himself too good for Hogwarts or can't be bothered to answer his mail! Absolutely no consideration for the senders!_. He remembered McGonagall's exhausted face all too well.

He wondered what Potter looked like. No doubt he was the spitting image of his father! He certainly had his attitude. But then again. A part of Severus hoped to see a little redheaded boy with green eyes walking through the doors. Maybe. Maybe he'd have some of his mother in him? Maybe Severus was mistaken? He didn't think he was but by Merlin he hoped he was.

* * *

The great hall was just that – great. In fact, Harry was pretty sure this was the largest room she ever been inside. It was incredibly colorful and her eyes immediately went to the ceiling – or was there a ceiling? Above her she could see the night sky. Stars shone through holes in dark grey clouds. She heard Hermione, a girl she had briefly met on the train, telling the other students that the ceiling was enchanted.

Harry was quite convinced. This was going to be wonderful. Every encounter the she had had with the magical world so far had been wonderful, funny or spectacular! However, these feelings were pushed aside when she remembered where she was and why. Hadn't Professor McGonagall said they were to be sorted? What if she didn't get the same house as Ron?

"There's no need to worry, mate! They say your house is like your family, so I'm sure we'll get a good one!"

For a moment Harry was afraid that her emotions and worries had shown on her face, but then she realized that Ron's comment wasn't actually meant to assure her but himself. The boy was visibly nervous.

"Yes, it'll be fine!" smiled Harry even though she wasn't sure she believed it.

Ron gave a weak smile but stopped trembling quite as much. Suddenly they heard a voice as an old man with a long white beard stood and bid everyone welcome. What he said didn't make much sense to Harry until he got to the part about the third floor being forbidden from everyone who didn't wish to die a painful death. The man, or Professor Dumbledore as the headmaster had introduced himself, said this with such a strange twinkle in his eyes that Harry wasn't quite sure whether he meant that or not. Surely he couldn't. Wasn't this a school?

"He's kidding, right?" Harry whispered to Ron.

The boy shrugged and replied: "I don't think so. I'm not sure. We'll ask my brothers."

It was then singing interrupted their conversation. Harry turned her head and looked up towards what she assumed was the teachers' table since it was where the adults were seated. In front of it stood Professor McGonagall with a very stern expression. Next to her was a chair and on the chair was an old pointy hat – and the hat was singing! Harry's eyes were wide as saucers and she tried her best to listen to what the hat was singing.

It appeared to be singing about the houses and Harry realized that the four other tables had to belong to them. The hat went on about loyalty and power and honor and... interference? She was having a hard time paying attention and found her eyes wandering again. Her eyes settled on the teachers' table. There was an empty seat next to the headmaster which Harry assumed belonged to Professor McGonagall. For a moment she could have sworn that the old man was looking in her direction but she must have been mistaken for the next moment he was listening to something the person next to him was whispering. That person was a very small man indeed for Dumbledore had to bend down a bit to hear him. Harry turned her attention back to her nervous friend and the hat's song without realizing that someone at the head table was _indeed_ watching her.

Then the song ended on it's... 17th verse? Harry had been trying to pay attention but she had begun daydreaming after about four verses and was not pulled back to reality until near the end where the hat had gone all doom and gloom on them. Professor McGonagall picked up the hat and held up a list in her other hand.

"When I call your name step forward and take a seat," McGonagall reminded them.

"Hermione Granger!"

The girl with the frizzy hair that Harry had only met briefly walked to the chair whilst mumbling assurances to herself. The professor put the hat down onto her head.

"GRYFFINDOR!" the hat cried after a little while and the room erupted in cheers.

Hermione smiled widely and jumped of the chair and made her way to the table that had red and gold banners hanging over it. Harry applauded along with the other students although she had little idea of the implications of the sorting ritual but Hermione's reaction told her that Gryffindor could not be a bad thing. McGonagall called a few more names of children Harry didn't know and that hat shouted out _Gryffindor, Ravenclaw_ and _Hufflepuff_.

"Draco Malfoy!" called McGonagall.

The blond boy from earlier made his way to the chair with a smirk. Harry watched closely. The hat barely even touched him before it called out:

"SLYTHERIN!"

The blond boy grinned widely and made his way to the table with the green and silver decoration. Harry observed that no other table was applauding.

"Figures! All the bad wizards go there," mumbled Ron at his side but then McGonagall called:

"Ronald Weasley!"

Ron went completely white and Harry had to push him gently in the back to make him move forward. The hat seemed to be taunting him a bit but eventually placed Ron in Gryffindor. The relieved expression on Ron's face made Harry smile as clearly this was exactly what Ron was hoping for.

"Harry Potter!"

The room went completely silent. Harry suddenly got scared. She began slowly moving towards the chair. What if the hat could tell? What if it refused to sort her? What if she had to go back home? As she crawled up onto the chair a familiar resilience kicked in. It was what enabled her to carry on in silence at the Dursleys' despite their harsh words and the endless chores. It was her survival mode. Then she felt the hat fall onto her head. It was much too big and fell down over her eyes.

"Hello, Harry! I've been waiting for you!"

She froze. She had heard the hat's voice but it sounded different. As if it was coming from inside the hat and inside her head at the same time. She wondered if anyone else could hear it. She hadn't heard a word when the others were sorted except for with Ron.

"Y.. You have?" she whispered.

"Indeed I have! It seems like it was only yesterday your parents were sorted! Now let me see.. Hmm.. Loyal you certainly are. Clever too.. Brave, there's certainly no doubt about that! But where should I put you?"

"Not Slytherin!" Harry quickly said. She couldn't bear the thought of being in the same house as Malfoy! No, he had called Ron a freak!

"Not Slytherin? But Harry, don't you see? You are ambitious, greatness is your destiny, you are resourceful and cunning even if you do not realize it and you protect your own fiercely. You would do very well indeed in Slytherin."

"Not Slytherin! Not Slytherin!" Harry began chanting as she grabbed the edge of the chair so hard her knuckles turned white.

"Do you think you know better than me?" The hat inquired.

"Eh.. No, Mr Hat, sir! I just.. Please! Not Slytherin! Anything but Slytherin!" she replied, silently thinking that if she became a Slytherin she'd burn the stupid hat!

"Harry, I can see what you're thinking," the hat informed her and she began trembling.

"But you won't change your mind will you? If I cannot persuade you then... GRYFFINDOR!"

The hat cried the last word loud enough for the whole hall to hear and cheers followed. It was then when McGonagall removed the hat and looked at her strangely that she realized she'd been under the hat longer than anyone else and everyone had waited in suspense for at least five minutes for her. She was too ecstatic to care and she skipped down to the Gryffindor table as fast as she could, where Ron made room for her next to him.

"Congrats, mate! We thought the hat was going to swallow you for a moment there!" Ron grinned.

"Oh, Ronnie! Why don't you let..."

"... the boy have a moment to calm down! After all..."

"... He just fought a hungry hat!"

Two identical faces with red hair was smiling at her and Harry grinned back at them. She had a pretty good idea who this was.

"Fred and George, my brothers," smiled Ron and shrugged.

Harry giggled and looked around as more students joined them. Then the sorting was over and the headmaster rose from his seat and declared the feast begun. Harry almost fell of the bench when suddenly mountains of food and sweets appeared in front of her. She had never seen so much food in her life! And that was saying something for she lived with Vernon and Dudley, whom she was pretty sure could eat their own bodyweight in a day.

Ron immediately digged in and filled his plate with a pile of food. Harry just looked at it. She wasn't quite sure if she was actually allowed to take it. No one had told her she could and Petunia and Vernon's voices whispered in the back of her mind. She decides it was better to be safe and not touch it, besides she wasn't even sure I she could eat after all the excitement and so she looked up at the teachers' table once again. This time, however, she suddenly locked eyes with someone.

Near the end of table, seated next to a man in a purple turban, sat a tall man completely dressed in black. He had shoulder lenght straight black hair and a pale complexion. His eyes were like two deep black holes and Harry gulped as she realized that not only had the man been starring at her before she looked his way but he didn't look pleased at all!

* * *

Severus was walking towards his office at an impressive pace even for him. He had to go and welcome the new Slytherin first years and introduce them to the school, the rules and their house but this wasn't what was on his mind. He was furious because he had been right.

As soon as the new students entered the hall he had searched the crowd for Potter. At first he had looked for redheads – still hoping he would find a little Lily but all he had found was two girls and what could only be a Weasley. Then his eyes had fixed on a a little green eyed boy next to the Weasley and he almost kicked the table. It was James. No, it wasn't James but if it hadn't been for the eyes the boy sure could have fooled him! Severus narrowed his eyes and tried to see whether he could spot the famous scar under the child's bangs but he didn't need to. That child could only be the spawn of James Potter.

He wasn't sure what was worse – seeing a miniature James Potter or seeing Lily's eyes full of life for the first time in years. Of course they were Potter's eyes but Severus almost felt as if the boy had stolen them from Lily. He had no right to them. It all made sense to Snape now. The boy not responding to his letters. He was every bit as arrogant as James and spoiled too! He hadn't even touched the food! No doubt, he felt it wasn't up to his standard!

Of course in the back of his mind Severus knew that wasn't completely sound reasoning – but the boy was a Gryffindor! Just like his father! And Severus was sure he'd be running around the castle like he owned it in no time just like James had.

 _But Lily was a Gryffindor... NO! She was not a real Gryffindor! She was better than that!_

* * *

Harry and Ron followed Percy into the common room. Harry had noticed that Ron didn't introduce Percy as his brother with the same enthusiasm as he had the twins and Harry wasn't sure why. Sure, he seemed very serious but not really unfriendly. She didn't dwell much on this subject because she had had a very strange experience in the great hall. Not long after she locked eyes with the dark man she had gotten the strangest headache which seemed to be centered around her scar. The twins had told her the man was Professor Snape and that he lived in the dungeons, taught potions, was a nasty git and ate first years for breakfast. Percy had told them to shut up and respect their teachers but still given Harry a strange look and told her that she had better 'stay clear of Snape'. Naturally she was confused.

"Boys dormitories to your left, girls to your right! Girls you had better remember which is yours. You shouldn't go up to the boys." said Percy and pointed to two spiral staircases.

Harry paused. Where was she going to go?

"Why only the girls?" said Hermione somewhere behind her.

"The boys can't go up the girls' stairs," said an older girl sitting in one of the armchairs by the fire.

"Come on, Harry! Otherwise the others get first pick!" smiled Ron and grabbed Harry's arm.

Together they ran up the stairs and into the first year dorm. Harry sighed with relief. The beds were large and had red drapings that offered privacy. The room was warm even though there was no fireplace and there were large windows on one side. Ron jumped onto one of the beds and smiled at Harry who chose the one opposite Ron's. She found all their luggage stacked against one wall and pulled her trunk over to the selected bed as the other boys joined them.

It wasn't long before they were all going to bed. Harry simply sat on her bed and watched the other boys reading and talking and laughing. She felt oddly at peace. Like she had just come home. A boy named Seamus suggested they had better go to sleep since they would have their first class tomorrow and the others agreed.

A few hours later Harry was still unable to sleep. She felt like she was drowning in the covers and pillows. The soft bed felt strange to a girl who had always slept in a cupboard on a thin mattress. In the end she got out of bed and pulled the two top covers off the bed before she crept underneath it and curled up on the floor. Under the bed she felt safer and much more at home. It was with these thoughts of 'home' that she finally drifted off to sleep.

 **TBC**


	4. Double, double toil and trouble

**A/N: I own and make nothing!  
**

* * *

 _The scream was every bit a terrifying even though Harry had heard it a thousand times before. The flash of green penetrated the grey mist as the nightmare was fading. The room and the silhouette of the woman and the dark shadow came out of focus. Harry was twisting, turning, screaming and begging for it to end. Then a voice suddenly vanished the remaining mist._

"Harry? HARRY! Wake up! _Harry_!"

Harry slowly opened her eyes. She was sore and stiff not to mention confused. Where was she? Who was calling her? She attempted to sit up but only managed to bump her head against something. _What on earth? Am I... Am I under the bed?_ Then the memories of last night returned to her and she rolled over to find Ron on his hands and knees peering under the bed.

"Harry! Get up! We're going to be late!" Ron hurried her.

"Right, right.." she mumbled in return and carefully crawled out from under the bed and disentangled herself from the covers.

"What were you doing? I was looking for you! If you hadn't started mumbling in your sleep, I'd have to declare you dead, mate!" Ron smiled and gave Harry a concerned look.

She didn't really want to be answering any questions so instead she grabbed her clothes and robes and headed for the bathroom. She closed the door and began changing. It was strange knowing Ron was on the other side probably wondering why she was acting this way so in an attempt to distract him from it she spoke through the door:

"Where are the others?"

"They went to breakfast. We've missed it now I think," Ron replied sounding very sorrowful indeed but Harry wasn't in the least bit concerned with missing another meal.

"I'd hurry up, Harry, we have just enough time to get to transfiguration."

Harry finished dressing and splashed some water in her face. She couldn't see it in the mirror as she'd left her glasses on the nightstand. She opened the door and went over to collect them.

"Do you know the way?" she smiled at Ron.

"Yeah, Percy told me how to get there! But we had better run now!"

Harry got her bag and followed Ron out of the room and down the stairs. Of course they had to turn back again when Ron realized he'd forgotten his bag on his bed.

* * *

It hadn't exactly been a good start. Harry and Ron had managed to be late for their very first class. After storming through the castle for 20 minutes or so Harry had decided that either Percy didn't know what he was talking about, Ron didn't remember the directions well or the school had simply changed over night. From what she had seen so far she wouldn't be surprised if the answer was the latter. McGonagall certainly wasn't pleased but she'd simply allowed them to sit down after scolding them in front of the class which Harry found extraordinary seeing as she was sure she'd be sent home for that. The lesson was only theoretical and Harry spent it sitting at a desk next to Hermione Granger – who was furiously taking notes, and wondered whether or not Professor McGonagall ate mice when she was a cat and whether mice tasted good.

Of course she felt so bad about that at lunchtime that she only managed to eat one cheese sandwich even though she was actually starving and getting a bit lightheaded. She was still worried about whether or not she could really take anything but she figured no one would notice a single sandwich disappearing and she stealthely took it when no one was looking.

Now she and Ron were making their way towards the dungeons to have their first potions lesson. Harry was still upset with herself for not only being late for class but also failing to listen that she promised herself to pay especially good attention in this class. Ron was walking beside her, whispering with Seamus. Harry turned her attention back towards her fellow Gryffindors.

"... And then they ran all the way to the library to hide but he found them when they were going to dinner!" Ron whispered at an excited Seamus.

Harry smiled. Ron had been telling stories of the twins and their adventures throughout lunch and still had plenty more. They did seem to be an audience favorite though Harry suspected the twins might have embellished a little when they told their brother! Surely Professor Snape hadn't _really_ made them scrub the dungeon hallways with toothbrushes! She'd never known a teacher to do that even if she wouldn't put it past her relatives, should someone inspire them. Just behind them walked a timid boy who Harry knew to be Neville Longbottom and the boy seemed to become more terrified the closer they got to the dungeons and Harry was pretty sure Ron's stories had something to do with it.

"And if you think that's bad you should hear about the time they tried to spell the Ravenclaw team's showers and McGonagall caught them while..."

"Ron, are you sure this is the right way?" Harry inquired.

"Yeah, it's the right way. Speaking of which we'd better hurry up," said Dean Thomas who was walking in front of her.

Harry nodded and they all picked up their pace except for Neville who seemed to be walking slower with each step. It wasn't long before they descended into the dungeons and Harry immediately felt Neville's fear of the place was partly justified. It sure was creepy and it didn't help when Dean mentioned that the Slytherin common room was somewhere down here – only no one but the Slytherins knew where. Ron had said that all the bad wizards and witches were in Slytherin and even identified Malfoy as one – so Harry imagined Slytherin being full of people just like Malfoy and Dudley. It was a bit unsettling knowing there was a nest full of them somewhere close by and Harry half expected to be attacked without provocation like Dudley and his gang had done time and time again.

Harry almost held her breath the last bit of the way to the potions classroom. They apparently made it just in time because no one was outside the classroom and everyone was seated inside. They quickly went inside and Harry took a seat between Hermione and Ron. There was still no sign of the professor. Good. Harry didn't want him to know they were almost late. She glanced at Ron who was nervously looking over his shoulder and then at the girl to her right who was reading her _Beginners guide to potions_. Harry pulled out her own book and some parchment, ink and a quill. She hadn't yet had time to read ahead like Hermione had obviously done and was doing at that very moment. She glanced around the classroom and to her displeasure saw that there were only Gryffindors and Slytherins present – and Malfoy was sitting near the back whispering with a girl.

"Pssst! Harry?" whispered Ron and she turned to find him smiling at her.

From his gestures she concluded he wanted to borrow a piece of parchment and she handed him one. He accepted it gratefully and opened his mouth – most likely to thank her, when suddenly the door flew open and crashed against the wall with a loud bang.

* * *

 _One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!_

Snape opened his eyes and looked once again at the door leading to the hallway. He wasn't quite sure if what he wanted more was to punch a wall or hide in his chambers until the class was over. But he certainly wasn't stupid enough to injure himself by (Merlin forbid) letting his emotions run amok and he certainly wouldn't have it known that Severus Snape was hiding from an eleven year old boy either! The man sighed and walked towards the door. It was no use delaying the inevitable. He put his hand upon the doorknob and schooled his expression into an ominous scowl before he opened the door and strode down the hallway to the classroom. He flung the door open and flew to the front of the classroom where his desk was placed upon a dais in front of the blackboard.

"Quiet!" was his first command upon entering even though the room was silent as a tomb. He then began his customary first year lecture about there being no wand waving or silly incantations in his class and of how he didn't expect many of them to grasp the finer points of potions nor the potential in this field of magic. As he did so he crossed his arms and glared at the class, subconsciously searching the room for a certain little boy.

Every child sat there with wide eyes and stared at him in a combination of disbelief and terror – even the Slytherins, though they had met him previously. Snape would have been disappointed if they didn't. Considering the warnings they had been given during his introduction the their house, the rules and his expectations of them they had more cause to be frightened than the Gryffindors. There were only two exceptions to this behavior – a girl with frizzy brown hair who looked completely unaffected if not eager and... Potter!

 _He's not even listening to me! Cannot even be bothered to look up! Who does he think..._

The boy was scribbling away on a piece of parchment – probably drawing or writing a note to pass. Severus could feel his blood boiling. Well, if he was going to have another James Potter on his hands he would personally make sure the brat knew he couldn't do whatever he pleased in _his_ class.

"Of course it would appear that some of you already have such impeccable skills in this subject that you find you do not need to pay attention!"

He glared at the boy as he put emphasis on the last word and finally the boy looked up at him. There was nothing but confusion in the green eyes. Clearly it was completely beyond Potter how he was at fault. It was clearly a shock to Potter that he would actually be expected to _listen_ in class and not doodle his time away!

"Mr Potter! We have... a celebrity amongst us," Snape sneered.

* * *

Harry didn't say a word. She was quite content letting Ron do the talking for her.

"Can you believe it? That bloody bat! I knew he'd be a git but honestly... And he didn't even care that Granger knew! Not that anyone else would! Honestly! Harry, no one would know that! If they were normal that is!"

Ron glanced over at Hermione and shook his head. The group of students parted and Harry could hear the Slytherins giggling as they walked deeper into the dungeons. Harry and the rest of the Gryffindors were climbing the stairs and Harry couldn't get out of the dungeons fast enough. What she wanted most was to find some broom closet somewhere and hide.

"Harry, let's go outside! Come on! We'll go to the lake. There's still plenty of time before dinner!"

Harry nodded. She would have preferred to be alone but a bit of fresh air sounded great right now. Ron had no way of knowing but Harry was currently battling her own emotions for control. She knew it. She just knew it! It had to be too good to be true! First Malfoy and now... And she didn't know what to do.

Ron lead her through the entrance hall and out onto the grounds. Harry wasn't really paying any attention to where they were going for she was still lost in thought. Her silence didn't go unnoticed by Ron who was unsure of what to say to make his new friend feel better. Not only did he really want to and couldn't stand seeing Harry like this but he also felt his honor depended upon it. Harry had stood up for him with Malfoy and now he would be there for Harry after the batty bat in the dungeons had decided to prove every bit as mental as Fred and George had told him he was. Oh, how he really wished the twins were here now! They always knew how to cheer people up! They reached the lakeside and camped under a tree. Harry simply sat down on the ground but Ron took of his robe and spread it out on the ground before sitting.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ron offered.

Harry shrugged. She honestly didn't. How could she tell Ron? Without him asking any questions?

"Nah, I'm good."

"You know, Snape really is a prat!" Ron smiled and nudged Harry. She offered a weak smile and replied: "Yeah, I know! And they way he spoke to Longbottom too!"

"Yelled at him more like. Did you see Granger? I'm surprised her arm didn't fall off!"

Harry actually smiled genuinely at the thought of Hermione's flushed face as she became more and more frustrated with being ignored. It _had_ looked funny – even if Harry knew perfectly well she had been treated every bit as unfairly.

"At least he didn't take any points," Harry tried, remembering McGonagall's introduction to the point system and the housecup.

"Nah, he hardly ever does and..."

"... he never EVER gives points! But..."

"... nobody gives as many detentions as him and we don't have to tell you..."

Both first years practically jumped in the air as the twins revealed themselves. At first they looked around with wide eyes and tried to determine where the voices were coming from when a half eaten apple fell on Ron's head. They both looked up to find Fred and George in the tree branches above them.

"You sodding prats!" cried Ron and tossed the apple back at them as both twins laughed and crawled down.

"Hey, Ronnie! Calm down! Did we scare you?" One of the twins smiled and put an arm around his younger brother.

"I wasn't scared," Ron muttered.

The other twin looked at Harry with mischief in his eyes.

"So Harry, need a bit of help getting back at the old bat?"

"Oh, shut up, Fred! I bet you wouldn't even..." Ron began.

"Never underestimate us, little brother!" the other (George?) interrupted him. "So, Harry, what do you say?"

Harry couldn't believe it! They were serious! They were actually offering to stand up for _her_. But she couldn't let them! What if they got into trouble for her sake? No, she couldn't let that happen! As it was she was surprised they even wanted to speak to her! She allowed the strange warm feeling in her chest to spread and smiled at the boys.

"Nah, don't bother! I don't want you to get into trouble for my sake," she replied.

"Well, if you change your mind, we're here. Besides we don't really _need_ a reason the mess with Slytherin," smiled Fred.

"You don't need a reason to mess with anyone," Ron said and shoved his brother playfully.

"True, but it's all in good fun, Ronnie!" replied George.

"We'll see you at the feast then. We have... erh..."

"Things to do!" his brother supplied.

The twins hurried of towards the castle and Harry sighed. She already felt a lot better. In fact, she felt great. No one had ever offered to stand up for her the way the twins had and no one had ever been there for her the way Ron had. However, Ron took her sighing to mean something else entirely.

"Are you okay, mate?"

Harry nodded.

"Ron? Thanks."

The redheaded boy beamed and picked up both his and Harry's bags.

"Don't mention it! What do you say we go to the tower and dump these before we go to dinner?"

And so the children went on their way. They made it to their dorm and left their bags behind before making it down for dinner just in time. The twins were also quite late and arrived just after them. Harry sat there while Ron piled food on his plate and looked over at Neville who was sneaking his toad bits of salad under the table.

"Here!"

Harry looked up as Ron pushed a plate filled with mashes potatoes and chicken towards Harry. She looked at him in confusion but the boy simply seemed to have gotten her something while he was at it. She looked down at the plate. To say she was hungry would be an understatement and she was awfully dizzy too having eaten nothing since yesterday. Perhaps it was okay to eat it? After all she hadn't taken anything. Ron had. She smiled at the boy and casually thanked him before she picked up her fork and slowly began eating. She drank a good deal of pumpkin juice but only managed to clear half the plate. Still she felt very full and was quite certain she'd never had a better meal.

* * *

"What are you two whispering about? Plotting something?"

Minerva McGonagall jumped a bit at the sound of the deep familiar voice and Poppy Pomfrey let out a startled shriek. Both women turned to find the potions master observing them with an infuriating smirk on his face.

"Severus, do you enjoy giving people heart attacks? Because I can tell you I don't appreciate the extra work!" Poppy snapped.

"Well, when one sees you two hiding in dark corners one might think you were... up to something."

Minerva smiled. She recognized his attempt to address them like schoolgirls – a tactic she had often used on him when meeting him in the corridors after curfew! She had to admit he was doing a pretty decent job at it. Well, two could play that game.

"Severus, sneaking up on people and eavesdropping? I'm very disappointed in you, young man!"

Minerva glared at the now tensed head of Slytherin but her smile quickly broke through.

"Flitwick asked me to inform you that he wishes to see you tomorrow before breakfast," Snape replied and glared back at McGonagall.

"Oh, indeed! Yes, of course! Poppy, I'll get right back to you about the boy once I'm sure!"

The nurse nodded. She briefly rolled her eyes at Severus and and left the other two alone in the corridor.

"Do I want to ask which boy?" Snape inquired sullenly.

"Poppy simply noticed that Potter didn't eat much tonight and asked me whether he did earlier. I don't know but I shall observe him at breakfast to confirm that he eats his meals. Poppy is concerned that he may have stomach flu and would like to know if we are about to have an outbreak."

" _Stomach flu?!_ The boy is hardly ill! He's just doesn't find the food to his liking! He wouldn't touch it earlier and tonight he had Weasley serve him like a footman!"

"He didn't eat all of yesterday?" Minerva cried.

The dour man simply huffed in response and rolled his eyes. McGonagall paused.

"How do you know, Severus?"

Severus felt a little dizzy. He wasn't about to admit to the lion queen that he had actually been watching the boy. In fact that was _her_ job. Why wasn't she paying attention?

"Minerva, from what I've seen of him, he looks perfectly fine. Fuss if you like, I cannot stop you. Now if you don't mind I have work to do."

With that Severus turned on his heel and left Minerva by herself. She considered the words of her colleague briefly before coming to the conclusion that Severus hardly knew anything about the boy and she should still pay attention at breakfast.

* * *

 _It's not fair! Every time! Every single time! But you never get any smarter do you Harry?_

The girl was huddled under her bed once again – her dorm mates soundly asleep. She had pulled one of the covers over her head to muffle the sound of her own sobbing as she finally was able to allow her bottled up emotions to come out. She felt absolutely awful. Here she was: She had a bed, food and friends that she didn't deserve. Earlier she had almost believed otherwise. She had actually begun to feel that maybe the Dursleys were wrong and these people where the good people. In fact, yesterday night she had felt happier that she ever had. But Professor Snape had been there to pull her back to reality and to the realization that she was a worthless freak and not worth anything.

But there is was. That spark. The fury that she had contained as best she could back in Surrey. Harry wasn't about to give up now. She couldn't. After all she had Ron now and the twins. She wasn't about to leave them. If having friends meant putting up with people like Snape – then so be it!

As two figures left Gryffindor Tower, the girl pulled the covers tightly around herself as the grey clouds and the nightmares descended upon her.

 **TBC**


	5. Bats and shared secrets

**A/N: I own and make nothing!**

* * *

 _No, don't! I already told you!" a familiar voice shrieked. "Told me? And I'm suppose to believe that? I'm supposed to believe anything?" The man was clearly irate. "Please! At least let me.." But the begging was cut short. "NO! I'm not letting him touch MY CHILD! He's not taking anything else! After everything he's done! After everything YOU'VE done! I cannot..." roared the other voice. "Don't do this! Can't we talk... No! At least... Listen!"_

Harry awoke with a start. Her head felt heavy and her vision was cloudy. She crawled out from under the bed with a grunt. To her surprise she had not overslept today. Ron was still fast asleep on his bed but Neville was already up and about. The pudgy boy sent Harry a sympathetic look as she emerged from underneath the bed but he for some reason didn't question it and merely greeted her and wished her a good morning.

She smiled weakly at the boy and tried to shake of the feelings of unease the nightmares always left her with. She grabbed her clothes and robes and made for the dorm bathroom to change. When she emerged Seamus Finnegan was also awake and she decided to go and wake up Ron. However that turned out to be easier said than done since the boy managed to kick her twice as soon as she started to shake him awake. It wasn't until she panicked and asked Neville whether they would be late for breakfast that the redhead stirred.

At the table in the great hall everyone was whispering quietly when they arrived. Harry noticed that the strange atmosphere seemed to be worst at the Slytherin table where all the students were eating their meal in near total silence.

"What's going on?" Harry asked Percy as she grabbed onto him.

"I'm not sure but I intend to find out," the older Weasley replied sternly before he made his way over to the Ravenclaw table to discuss with one of their prefects.

Harry looked up at the head table where the reaction to whatever was going on seemed to be a lot more mixed. In fact Professor Flitwick and the Headmaster looked positively amused! Professor McGonagall looked anything but pleased in fact Harry found the frown on her face rather scary and Professor Sprout seemed to be oblivious to whatever was happening or at least the pretended to be. Two witches whom Harry had yet to learn the names of were whispering together. Harry noticed that Professor Snape was absent this morning and she couldn't help but feel relieved. Ron was already eating and the twins had sat down on either side of him and were telling him something that clearly annoyed him. Harry looked around for an available seat and ended up sitting down next to Hermione Granger.

"Hi," Harry smiled at her and much to her own mortification, automatically waved.

"Hello," the other girl replied as she lowered her book with a puzzled look on her face.

"What are you reading?" Harry tried.

"It's _Hogwarts: A history_. It's very fascinating. There's..."

Hermione didn't get to finish that for suddenly the whispering died down as the Headmaster rose from his seat and looked out at the many faces waiting for him to say something.

"Good morning all! This will just be a short notice! Those of you who have potions class today will be saddened to hear that classes have been canceled!"

Despite the word 'saddened' the headmaster was smiling and it was hardly sorrowful sounds emanating from the students in question.

"If any of you had... other appointments with Professor Snape, they will be rescheduled as he will be busy today cleaning up the dungeons. Speaking of which, those of you who found it amusing to release a smaller colony of bats into the dungeons – I will of course expect you to do the honorable thing and admit to it!"

Suddenly a large part of the great hall erupted in laughter and Harry didn't fail to notice that the Headmaster's eyes hadn't stopped twinkling.

"Bats? Bats!" Ron suddenly said and left his mouth open – treating Harry to a view of the bun Ron had been chewing.

"Who would do such a thing? No wonder the Slytherins are upset!" Hermione added with disgust.

"They must be hard to get out," Harry said. With yesterday's conversations in mind she had a pretty good idea who would have done this – at least who might do this kind of thing.

"I'm sure it wasn't easy getting them in either," said one of the twins with a wide grin on his face as he nudged his brother and confirmed Harry's suspicion.

"Will it take the whole day to chase them out?" Harry asked.

"They appear to have left quite a... mess everywhere," said Percy who had now returned and he looked positively furious.

Harry turned back around to see Ron still sitting with his mouth open and Hermione rolling her eyes as the twins practically fell off the bench laughing. She suddenly didn't feel too well. Yes, a part her felt absolutely no sympathy for her potions professor yet a small voice in the back of her mind insisted it was very wrong of the twins to do something like this – however what she really wanted to know was whether or not the twins had done it for her or whether this had been planned in advance. If they were caught she didn't want it to be for her sake.

"I can't believe he can really eat that much sugar!" Hermione suddenly said and nodded towards Ron.

Harry smiled and put a sandwich and a couple of fruits on her plate. She then looked around. Nothing. She exhaled and felt a strange calm before she began to eat.

* * *

About a week after the 'bat incident' anyone had yet to come forward though the majority of the school suspected the Weasley twins – against whom there was no evidence of course. Harry was almost running down the hallway – heading for the stairs leading up from the dungeons. She wasn't quite sure where she was going and it was quite a miracle that she didn't miss a step on the stairs seeing as she was fighting back tears. She knew Ron was bound to be somewhere behind her – hoping to catch up with her but she couldn't face him right now. She couldn't face anyone.

Harry didn't know where she was going. This time she wouldn't be able to keep it together in front of Ron or the twins. No, she needed to find herself a quiet place to hide. She slipped through the entrance hall and went up the stairs to the first floor as fast she could, getting a few looks from other students in the process. When the hallway became empty and she could no longer hear the chatter of her fellow students she slipped through the nearest door and found herself in a bathroom. She had no idea whether this was a girl or a boy bathroom and she didn't care. What mattered was that it was completely empty. She dumped her bag on the floor after closing the door and ran to the nearest corner where she curled up. Soon followed a stream of tears and the saltwater and excessive rubbing of her eyes began to irritate her skin. She rocked herself slightly and seemed to remain like this for ages until her sobbing died down and her form became still. She was lost in her own thoughts and didn't notice when another figure entered the room.

* * *

He knew it!

Severus Snape was pacing in his office. His face was a mask hiding the fury, disgust and above all disappointment that he felt. Certain members of the staff had assured him the likely culprits of the 'incident' in the dungeons were most likely the Weasley twins. Severus wouldn't admit it but under normal circumstances he would have agreed that it reeked of Weasley mischief though they were usually not _this_ bold but now there was nothing anyone could say to dissuade him of his convictions. He had suspected Potter from the moment he realized what had happened. After all had he not given the boy a rather stern – but certainly well deserved lecture only the day before?

Of course it was only a suspicion and there was no evidence. Had Severus Snape in actuality attempted to solve this mystery logically he would have been the first to agree that there was no way one little first year could pull such a prank – especially not a muggleraised one! But this amount of disrespect he could only remember having witnessed once before – the marauders. Yes, this was definitely not something he would put past James Potter! And surely now his son was following in his footsteps and terrorizing Snape and the Slytherins!

Still there had been a tiny voice in the back of his mind that had begged him to rethink this and not condemn the brat without evidence but another much more powerful voice decided to confront the boy with his suspicions and let the little menace know he was on to him even if he couldn't convince the headmaster.

He had kept a close eye on Potter at every meal. Even though the boy laughed with the Weasley lot on occasion or spoke quietly with Longbottom, Severus sensed a tenseness in the child. Yes, the brat was clearly hiding something. The way the boy often glanced apprehensively at the teachers' table only confirmed this. And then the day had arrived where Potter would be back in his classroom.

The boy was completely unwilling to look up at him during his introduction to the simple potion they would be _attempting_ to prepare. Once the little dunderheads had actually begun their work Snape didn't need to make up excuses to call out the boy on an error for though he did not instantly ruin his potion like the Longbottom boy, he certainly didn't consider it worth his while to pay attention to what he was doing. The boy kept starring at his hands in a most irritating manner and when Severus noticed a slight trembling of the boy's shoulders as he called out Longbottom for the second time he saw red. Was the boy _laughing_?

"It would seem that some of you find this amusing! Foolish mistakes that may easily cost you or your classmates your lives one day!" he sneered and glared briefly at Longbottom who was squirming in his seat. "Potter! If you find this subject so entertaining perhaps you would like a detention to further acquaint yourself with the preparation process? No? I can assure you – all of you that I will not tolerate idiocy or disrespect in this class! You will find there will be consequences for your stupidity – much like there will be for that bit of vandalism last week!"

There! It was brief but he had seen it! Potter's eyes had momentarily flashed with something! Fear? Certainly. Guilt? Naturally.

"Mr Longbottom, that's a zero for the day and Mr Potter, I suggest you cease your attempts to ruin that potion."

"But P..Professor, I..." the boy had begun.

"It's worthless, Potter. Though I'm sure you are very surprised that not everything you do is impressive, I urge you to consider that fame does not make that excuse for a potion passable. Now, I expect your samples on my desk in twenty minutes."

* * *

"Harry? Harry! Are you okay?"

Harry opened her eyes at the sound of the familiar voice. _So, that answered the question of which bathroom this is_. She looked up at the girl standing in front of her with a concerned expression and realized that it would still be obvious from her face that she had been crying. Harry promptly hid her face in her arms.

"I'm fine," she lied.

Harry heard Hermione move closer and put her bag down on the floor.

"You don't look fine. Harry, is this about what happened in potions?"

Harry shook her head. Of course it was – but it was more than that. It was everything.

"You're going to miss dinner, you know," Hermione tried, remembering that Ron Weasley and Neville Longbottom both enjoyed meals above many other things and reasoned that it might be a general thing with boys. However, when Harry didn't react at all, she discarded that idea.

"Harry?" whispered Hermione as she sat down on the floor next to the other child. "Do you need me to go and get Ron for you? Would you like him to talk to you?"

"No," said Harry in a weak voice. "He wouldn't understand. No one would. Just... Just leave me."  
Hermione paused. She didn't know the boy in front of her well. They'd met briefly on the train but still this boy had been the most welcoming face she had met so far. The other children didn't bother her but they didn't speak to her unnecessarily either. She fondly remembered that Harry had greeted her at breakfast. She had been surprised. Hermione didn't make friends easily and she couldn't just walk away.

"I wouldn't. I'm sure of it! Harry whatever it is, you can talk to me!" said Hermione and reached out to touch Harry, but before she could the other looked up at her.

"I can't. It's a secret. I promised."

"Promised who? Ron?" Hermione replied. She found herself both confused and intrigued.

"No," mumbled Harry.

"Harry, if it's making you this upset – maybe you should share it with someone. It clearly isn't good."

"You couldn't understand..." Harry began and shook her head at the other girl.

Hermione tried very hard indeed not to take offense to that. Her? Not understand? She hadn't come across a subject she couldn't at least learn to understand but then she reminded herself that this wasn't what Harry meant.

"How do you know? Have you ever told anyone?" Hermione began and continued when Harry's head shook in reply. "See? So how can you be sure? Harry? I promise you, even if you're right and I don't understand it, that I will never ever tell anyone else unless you tell me to!"

There. This could turn out to be a big mistake and she knew it. What if Harry had done something? What if she now had to lie to her professors about knowing of it? Hermione shuddered at the thought. She looked at Harry to find two wide green eyes starring at her.

"You mean it? You really promise? No matter what?"

Hermione smiled.

"I promise. I swear it," she said holding up her hands to show that there were no crossed fingers.

"I..." Harry began and quickly looked back into her own lap.

What was she doing? Why would she even consider this? The Dursleys would kill her! But Hermione seemed so kind. Was it possible...? Suddenly she felt a hand upon hers and realized that Hermione had reached for her. Hermione gently squeezed her hand and Harry felt weirdly reassured. But she couldn't look at Hermione. Not as she said it.

"I'm a girl."

Silence.

"What? What do you mean?" Hermione's voice sounded strange. Harry took at deep breath.

"I'm not really a boy. I just pretend to be."

"What? Why?"

Hermione was still holding Harry's hand as she starred at the other person in front of her. Was Harry saying he _is_ a girl or does Harry want to _be_ girl? Was this a joke? No, it couldn't be. Harry's tears and distress had been real. In fact tears were beginning to flow from Harry's eyes once again.

"Promise me you won't tell! They will get really mad at me! And everyone will know!"

Hermione was so confused but she decided to take a deep breath and attempt to make some sense of it.

"Harry slow down. Who will be mad?"

"My relatives," Harry sobbed and Hermione pressed further demanding to know why.

"They told me I'm too u...ugly to be a girl and so I must pretend to be a boy. A..And if anyone finds out, they will know I'm a freak and I can't stay here."

"Harry? I... That makes no sense..." Hermione replied. "What do you mean you're too ugly to be a girl?"

"I used to be a girl. When I was small, but my aunt said I couldn't be a girl anymore. Because I'm too ugly," Harry sniffed and Hermione moved a little closer and put her arm around the other.

"You used to be a girl?" she repeated and Harry nodded in reply. "But... But Harry... You can't be too ugly to be either a boy or a girl. It doesn't work that way."

Harry looked at her with an expression of confusion and shifted slightly on the cold bathroom floor.

"But.. My aunt said.."

"Harry, if this is true you should really speak to someone about it. At the very least go to Professor McGonagall!"

"NO! They will know I was lying! They'll send me home! I almost thought that the hat... But..."

"Harry! Tell me this... Are you too ugly to be a boy?" Hermione tried. She really wasn't sure what she was doing at this point.

"No.. I don't think so."

"Are boys uglier than girls?" Hermione continued.

"No," Harry mumbled.

"Then you can't be too ugly to be either. And Harry, you're not ugly," the bushy haired girl said reassuringly.

"I thought the hat would know that I'm a girl," Harry mumbled with a weak smile.

Hermione smiled back, glad to see that Harry was beginning to feel better.

"Harry? When your aunt said you had to be a boy, did she change your name too?"

"She used to call me Harriet? Why?"

"Oh, nothing. Harry, I promise you I'll help you figure this out! In fact, I'll start searching the library for information tonight!"

"You.. You'd do that? But you won't tell?"

"Not until you say I can. I promised didn't I?"

Harry smiled. She had taken a big risk in telling the other girl but she felt so much better knowing that someone else knew. She still wasn't sure how she felt about the things Hermione was saying but she trusted the the girl. Hermione on the other hand didn't feel well at all. She was worried. Could this really be or was Harry's mind playing tricks on him – erh.. her? Was Harry's relatives playing some sick game? And if Harry really was a girl then why didn't anyone know? Wasn't Harry famous? Should she break her promise and tell McGonagall? No, not yet at least. First, she'd do some research.

"Will you come to dinner now? Though I think we may be late," Hermione asked.

"Okay," Harry mumbled and slowly got up from the floor.

Hermione followed and they picked up their bags along the way. Some minutes later the two walked into the great hall where the food had already been served and everyone was at their seats. Especially at the Gryffindor table people watched with curiosity as Harry and Hermione walked to their seats – arm in arm.

 **TBC**


	6. Certainty

**A/N: I own and make nothing**

* * *

Severus stood hidden in the shadows and watched as Hooch began instructing her class. The students didn't know but it was quite common for two of the house heads to watch the first year flying classes. One was Professor McGonagall who occasionally watched the class in plain view as she and Hooch both adored Quidditch and flying and so her presence there was not questioned by anyone. The other was Snape who secretly watched far more classes than his colleague though not due to a love of Quidditch (Merlin forbid) but to scout for potential players for the Slytherin team. They both loved to win and it was personal to them both – Minerva because she loved the sport and had played it herself and Severus because the idea of losing to Minerva was horrid. At times the Headmaster teased them for speaking of their teams' victories as if they were the fruit of their own personal labor. Snape personally detested the sport – or the idea of sports in general but he still invested a good deal of time in his team for the sole purpose of getting to smirk at McGonagall when the cup was won by Slytherin. So far it was working nicely. The cup had been theirs several times in a row now.

Minerva clearly wasn't there today. Odd, considering she usually showed up for the first class of her lions but Snape knew she'd been quite busy lately and was probably unable to come. Good. That gave him an advantage. He glanced at his Snakes and fought the urge to fly over there and give Goyle a few choice words as he observed the boy snacking on a scone and shoving Crabbe instead of listening. Then his eyes involuntarily landed on a black mop of hair and Severus huffed in annoyance. Of course Potter was here. He knew he would be, he'd just happily forgotten.

It was with some annoyance that Snape observed Potter being the first to successfully command the broom, with little surprise that he watched Longbottom soar up with no control of the broom, with even less surprise that he watched Hooch take him to the infirmary, with resignation that he silently cursed her for leaving the students unattended and with utter horror that he watched Malfoy take off. He hadn't really been paying attention as he was still contemplating the flying instructor's short comings but clearly some form of disagreement had occurred between the students. It was seconds before Potter followed him and Severus was just about to make his presence known and order them both down to earth when Malfoy flew off with Potter in pursuit.

After that everything went so fast. Draco clearly threw something and Potter dove after it – only barely managing to catch it and stop the broom before the castle wall would have. The Gryffindors cheered as Potter descended and Severus could now feel a sharp pain in his chest. If anyone had asked him he'd have claimed it had been his breakfast disagreeing with him and not his heart trying to escape his ribs. He managed to get his breathing under control and was about to make his presence known, when Professor McGonagall suddenly appeared and commanded Potter to follow her. Being thus robbed of the best prey he focused his attention on the boy who was his responsibility and strode towards Malfoy. The boys smirk at seeing Potter being taken away quickly vanished when his classmates alerted him to Snape's presence.

"Mr Malfoy, you will follow me," Snape commanded.

When the boy didn't immediately move, Severus grabbed his arm and pulled the boy along while snapping at the remaining students that they had better go about their business. Now he was walking down towards his office and the boy was practically running to keep up. Why Minerva had only taken Potter to be punished was beyond Severus but then again, he wasn't sure just how much she had actually witnessed. He did, however, feel relieved that she _had_ taken the boy. It was completely unbelievable! The boy flew with all the recklessness of his father! Didn't he see the wall? And it was his first time too! He could have been...

But Severus didn't finish that line of thought as he suddenly felt Draco pull himself out of his grasp. Snape stopped and turned to see the boy back up a few steps. He could feel the rage burning within him. There was no excuse for the conduct of either boy and even though he knew Draco to consider himself above others – and to some extension their rules, he had expected better of the boy.

"Really, Professor, I can walk perfectly fine on my own," Draco said with the beginnings of a sneer that quickly disappeared once he locked eyes with his Head of House.

Severus didn't dignify that with a verbal reply. He simply reached out and grabbed the child's ear before continuing his journey to the dungeons. The boy yelped at the initial pain when he didn't follow but quickly picked up his pace to ensure that his ear remained attached. Severus let go as soon as they were both within his office and closed the door. He then turned to face the boy who had now clearly realized that he was in actual trouble though he seemed confused as to why.

"Do you have _any_ excuse, Mr Malfoy?"

Severus knew the boy and had his suspicions of why he had provoked the other boy and taken off on the broom. Well, he wouldn't say he knew him _well_ , but certainly better than any of the other snakes. While Severus was the boy's godfather he hadn't spent much time near the boy as he didn't generally like children and Lucius had never expected him to. However, he had been a guest at Malfoy Manor at times and there observed the boy and later he had provided private lessons in preparation for Hogwarts to Draco on the elder Malfoy's request. Snape didn't consider himself a likeable person and did his best to be intimidating to children but Draco had hung on every word he said and seemed almost _content_ during those lessons. Based upon his observations at the manor Snape had concluded that what Draco received from him that he so enjoyed was attention. Even though he was certain that both parents cared deeply for the boy they were both distant and dismissive and preferred to show their appreciation with material goods. Therefore the child preferred the undivided attention of his dour tutor to time spent begging for his parents' attention because there at least he was being acknowledged.

"It was just Potter!" Draco explained.

"Can we agree, Mr Malfoy, that you had no business in the air when Madam Hooch had forbidden it in her absence?"

The boy nodded but quickly added: "Sir, it was only a bit of fun! And I can fly perfectly well!"

"Draco!" The boy winced at the sound of his first name which he had never heard Snape _directly_ refer to him by before. "Not only did you endanger yourself and a classmate by provoking him to follow – No! That was your intention and you know that! - but you also disobeyed a teacher and painted your house in a bad light! Don't you realize that your misbehavior reflects badly on your entire house and therefore me as well?"

The boy suddenly didn't look so sure of himself. "You have detention today and tomorrow after dinner. You may report to Mr Filch." The boy's eyes grew wide and he looked up at Snape with remorse in his eyes. "And Draco, I hope you realize that had you been caught by another member of staff your house would certainly have lost points and your housemates would have found out."

That most certainly did something. Malfoy now looked positively terrified – undoubtedly thinking of what the other Slytherins would think of that.

"I am very disappointed in you. I will have you know I expect better from my students and if this happens again I will consider contacting your parents. You may leave."

Severus dismissed him with a wave of his hand and the boy didn't waste any time and quickly ran for the door with a hurried: "Yes, sir! Sorry, sir!"

Later that night broken glass covered parts of Snape's office floor. The man himself could not be bothered to clean up the result of his rage at that moment and sat behind his desk, his face hidden in his hands as he silently cursed Minerva McGonagall and her efforts to create a new Potter reign of terror!

"A seeker!" he muttered and fell back into the chair.

* * *

A small grey cloud of dust emerged from the book and settled on the table as Hermione flipped the page. She was absentmindedly drumming her fingers on the tabletop as she read – something she did very rarely. To most observers, she appeared to be simply a girl hunched over her homework, frustrated with an upcoming exam. The truth was quite different.

The weeks had passed and Halloween was approaching. Hermione still spent most of her time studying by herself but there had been new additions to her routine. Now, she also devoted at least four hours a week to solving the Harry-mystery in the library. Additionally, she and Harry now met up – usually somewhere on the grounds after every potions lesson. Harry didn't weep uncontrollably like Hermione had seen him.. (her?) doing in the bathroom but she certainly didn't like the alternative either. As Harry slowly engaged more and more in conversations with the Weasleys and other boys at meal times, he/she became quieter elsewhere. The raw emotion Hermione had first witnesses was now replaced by silence and a strange look in Harry's eyes that showed up every morning before breakfast and even more severely after potions. Hermione worried about whether Harry was becoming depressed. She quickly learned that it was easier to get Harry to smile if she first managed to make Harry angry over the injustice. That was what was missing. The lost piece. Harry was becoming more and more resigned and possibly even _accepting_ of her situation.

Hermione had to do something and she had to do it soon. It wasn't like Hermione wanted Harry to challenge Professor Snape but she certainly didn't want Harry to think it was fair either. No, Harry should be silently steaming with rage like the rest of the Gryffindors. The girl glanced down at the page in front of her. Nothing! Nothing useful anyway. She had managed to find quite a few mentions of the Potters but the problem was that the books said exactly what she expected them to say: That a son born to Lily and James Potter defeated You-Know-Who on Halloween night ten years ago. Hermione wasn't one to doubt books – in fact she would be mortified if the books were lying to her but she also wanted Harry's confession to be true. She didn't like to think about the implications if it weren't. Harry certainly believed it to be true. At one point Hermione had almost asked Harry to 'show her the evidence' but she reconsidered when she realized that not only would Harry probably never agree to remove his/her clothes in front of Hermione but she also didn't want to communicate to Harry that she didn't trust him/her.

Her eyes suddenly fell on words she had read once elsewhere. _The Potters went into hiding before the birth of their son and their whereabouts were not known to the world until they were betrayed by their friend, Sirius Black_. From the books she had learned that James and Lily apparently had disappeared off the face of the earth for almost two years. She had to admit by now that it was _possible_ but it didn't answer the question of how no one would know. No, she had to find out for sure. Resigned she put the book away, picked up her bag and left the library – taking in the scent of old books as she did so.

Hermione hadn't been to the infirmary yet and she had to ask for directions along the way from a pair of fourth year Hufflepuffs but she finally arrived there about an hour before curfew. The infirmary was a large room with big windows on one side and Hermione imagined that it had to be a very bright room in the daytime. There were two rows of eight beds along the walls and at the end were two doors – one of which surely lead to Pomfrey's office. Hermione looked around. It was quiet and the mediwitch was nowhere to be seen. The beds were all made as no student had been admitted yet. There were screens standing next to each bed but they were folded together. An additional two were placed near the entrance and Hermione assumed they were usually drawn to separate the beds from whatever visitors might enter. A few chairs near the door confirmed her theory of the 'waiting room' and Hermione sat down.

It wasn't long until one of the other doors opened and Pomfrey stepped out. Upon seeing Hermione there she picked up her pace and almost ran to her side.

"Oh, dear! I didn't hear you come in! Are you unwell?"

"No, Madam Pomfrey," Hermione quickly replied. "I came to ask you a question."

The older witch looked puzzled but nonetheless gave Hermione a smile.

"Miss Granger, is it? You may ask anything you like."

Hermione nodded to confirm her name and wondered how the woman knew it to begin with.

"Madam, I need to make sure first that... You'll not ask questions. I... It's for some research and I would like to keep my ideas secret. Someone might steal it."

The mediwitch took at seat next to the girl. She looked worried but she nodded.

"How can you tell whether someone is a boy or a girl?"

Oh, dear! Poppy had had similar conversations with several children but usually the parents... And Miss Granger was rumored to be very bright!

"Well, dear... You see, boys and girls are different. Boys have.."

"Oh, I don't mean like _that_!" Hermione said, blushing. "I mean if you didn't know. And you could not see the person or touch them. Is there a spell or a potions that could tell you?"

Poppy was relieved to find that the girl was well informed but that was a very strange question indeed!

"Well, a diagnostic spell would certainly reveal it. As for potions, I don't believe there are any with that particular purpose but some might tell you that as an additional result. I really can't be sure though, you had better ask Professor Snape that question," Pomfrey replied.

"Is a diagnostic spell hard to learn? Could I do it?" Hermione replied – immediately dismissing the idea of going to Snape for help.

"Heavens, no! It takes years of magical training to learn and even then your skill affects the amount of data you will get. No, you had better leave that to the healers, Miss Granger!" the older witch chuckled.

"Oh. Well, thank you so much for your time, Madam Pomfrey!" Hermione smiled and got up to leave.

"Any time, dear," Poppy replied, still considering the question.

Hermione exited the infirmary and walked back towards Gryffindor Tower. Well then! Was she going to risk learning that spell? It would clearly be against the rules. What else was there? Her thoughts went to something Harry had said that day in the bathroom. _I almost thought that the hat..._ She smiled at the notion. Clearly the hat couldn't tell. However that had her thinking about the first night she spent here. Hermione stopped dead in her tracks. Could it really be that simple? She wasn't sure if this was going to work but she had to try!

The common room was full of life. Hermione entered through the portrait and looked around. She found Harry and Seamus sitting in a corner. Seamus was showing Harry something (a photograph?) but Harry looked at it like it was a unicorn. She quietly went over to the boys. Harry looked up at her but Seamus kept looking at the moving photograph in his hand that showed what Hermione assumed to be a famous Quidditch player. She gestured for Harry to follow her and together they walked away from Seamus.

"Harry. I need you to meet me in the common room tonight. Wait until the others are asleep, then come down here and see me? Alright?" Hermione whispered and Harry nodded in reply.

Harry was happy to see Hermione. The other girl was in the library when she wasn't in class and although Harry missed her she didn't want to disturb her. She seemed to really enjoy studying. Hermione had told her that she was also researching Harry but she hadn't yet told Harry about what she had discovered – if she had discovered anything. Harry wanted to ask because she had only recently been informed that her parents _hadn't_ died in a car crash and she was curious to know more. Perhaps Hermione had found something? Suddenly Hermione turned away from her and walked over to Neville.

"Hey, Neville! I need to show you something! Come on! It'll only take a moment! You'll love it!"

Hermione grabbed Neville's hand and pulled the confused boy with her and before anyone could react she was dragging the boy up the stairs to the girls' dormitories. They made it about five steps up before something happened. The steps suddenly transformed into a slide and both Hermione and Neville came sliding down and ended in a heap on the floor.

"What are you doing, Granger!" called Percy from an armchair. "We told you boys couldn't climbs the girls' stairs!"

"Sorry!" Hermione mumbled as she and Neville clumsily got off the floor. "And sorry Neville."

The boy gave a weak smile and after the giggles had died down everything seemed back to normal.

It was about one o'clock when Harry made her way back down to the common room. She had tried earlier but she had heard a couple of older students down there and knowing that the first years technically had to be in bed (though she'd seen no one _really_ enforce the rules of the tower, not even Percy) she hadn't wanted to risk it.

The fire was almost out and Harry jumped in surprised when Hermione emerged from the shadows.

"Ready?" she smiled.

"Ready for what?" Harry replied.

"Ugh, Harry, didn't you see what I did earlier? It's true, boys can't enter our dorms!"

Harry realized Hermione was planning to send her up the stairs as well. But why? Didn't she believe her after all?

"It'll prove to you that you aren't too ugly to be a girl. That you are a real girl," Hermione said.

That wasn't why she was doing it of course. She needed to confirm Harry's story but she could hardly say that, could she? Harry looked at her with a mix of suspicion and intrigue but nodded her consent. Harry turned and walked over to the stairs. She looked back over her shoulder to see Hermione's encouraging smile. She placed her foot on the bottom step and took a deep breath.

Then she took a step. Then she took another. Before long she was standing in front of a door and then it dawned upon her that she had just climbed the entire staircase. Neville only made it five steps. She briefly put her hand upon the door and then turned and ran all the way back down. Hermione was standing at the bottom and a strange expression upon her face.

"Did you see that?" Harry grinned.

"Yeah.. I know.. The castle clearly knows.. I..." Hermione was lost for words. She had wanted to believe Harry but she could not really get it to make sense – but the castle had confirmed it. Harry was a girl. What was she going to do?

* * *

Ron Weasley was fuming. In the weeks after arriving at Hogwarts he'd been happy because he now had something he'd never had before: His very own best friend. He'd always shared everything and everyone with his siblings and he was happy to finally meet Harry. Sure Harry spoke to others and to the twins but Ron liked to imagine that he was closest to him. Now he wasn't so sure anymore. He'd noticed Harry speaking to that bookworm, Granger, a couple of times and thought nothing of it but these last few days Granger and Harry had been together almost constantly. What was worse: They whispered. Ron didn't like it. Was Granger stealing his friend? Tonight was the Halloween feast and Ron had looked forward to spending it with Harry – stuffing their faces.

 _I bet he'll sit with Granger now!_

They were making their way back from charms. Granger was horrid. She'd even corrected him for his pronunciation. Who did she think she was? Harry wasn't anywhere to be seen but Ron had heard him offer to help Neville with something so he was likely still in the classroom with the other boy. Granger was walking in front of him. Ron couldn't keep it in. He speeded up and shoved her as he walked past her.

"Ow! Hey, watch where you're going!" cried the girl and picked up the books she had dropped.

"Who are you to talk? _It's Le-vi-O-sa!_ " Ron mocked her. "No wonder you have no friends."

He turned around to walk away but was startled when the girl shot past him. He could clearly hear her sniffling as she passed and suddenly she was gone.

* * *

"What do you mean?"

Harry starred at Ron with wide eyes across the table. She was trying her best not to raise her voice and attract the attention of the entire hall but she really wanted to scream her head off.

"I'm... I just lost it... I thought.. But you agreed that she wasn't normal!" Ron tried as he attempted to avoid the look Parvati was giving him.

"I... I thought you were joking!" Harry replied. "I didn't think you'd really... I didn't think you were like _that_!"

Ron wasn't sure what exactly Harry meant by _that_ but he knew that there was nothing on earth he wished to be less. He really did feel guilty now that Parvati had revealed that Granger had spent her afternoon weeping in the girls' bathroom. He hadn't wanted to hurt her. Not really. He'd been angry and he'd taken it out on her. What was worse was the look in Harry's eyes and Ron was about to weep himself, thinking about whether Harry would ever be his friend again.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he mumbled.

"You better be," sneered Parvati.

Ron didn't get a chance to reply to that as the doors suddenly flew open and Professor Quirrell ran down towards the head table, screaming his head off about a troll. Chaos ensued until the Headmaster commanded everyone to remain calm and return to their dorms.

"Hermione doesn't know! I have to go and get her!" Harry said. "She doesn't know about the troll."

"I'll come," Ron said. "It's the least I can do. Do you think we'll see the troll?"

"You heard him, it's in the dungeons. We'll just get Hermione and go to the tower."

 **TBC**


	7. Sisters and brothers

**A/N: I own and make nothing. A few timejumps here - in case of confusion.**

* * *

Severus staggered down the corridor. He paused and rested against the wall for a moment before continuing. The bite on his leg was painful but it wasn't something he couldn't handle, however he still needed to right himself after the shock. That the infernal beast was absolutely ferocious was no surprise – that was the entire idea behind using the Cerberus, but the fact that Severus had been unfocused enough to get hurt was worrying him.

 _Fluffy_ \- Snape cringed at the name, had certainly proven a good guard dog and nothing had been disturbed on the third floor. Odd, seeing as this had been the ideal moment for someone to go after the stone. Quirrell's performance in the great hall was disturbing. Trolls were the man's area of expertise after all! He should have easily managed the troll on his own.

He made it to the stairs and down from the third floor. The leg was still bleeding but the pain was no longer as sharp. Snape found he was now able to walk almost normally. He wondered whether the other staff members had gotten rid of the troll yet. He was worried if it was really in the dungeons and had therefore insisted that his house stay in the great hall. Still, a troll could do a great deal of damage to his classroom and after the 'bat incident' two months ago he really wasn't keen on cleaning up the dungeons again!

"Severus!"

He looked up and saw Minerva rushing towards him with Quirrell behind her. Snape straightened his back and nodded in greeting. He glared at the stuttering idiot before returning his attentions to McGonagall.

"Did you find it?" he inquired.

"No, it's not in the dungeons. At least not anymore," the elderly witch replied.

Together they continued onward but they didn't make it far before Severus stopped dead in his tracks. He had clearly heard something. It sounded almost like...

"S..Severus?" Quirrell inquired as the other two noticed him.

Minerva quickly realized that the potions master's legendary hearing had caught something and hushed Quirrell. There it was again and this time they could all clearly hear the scream – though it was distant. Snape reacted first as he suddenly flew past the other two and ran down the hallway. Minerva and Quirrell followed.

The scene that awaited them as they arrived at the entrance to the bathroom was unbelievable! The troll was lying unconscious on the bathroom floor and three first years were standing near the wall. Each had a different expression on their face – Miss Granger looked relieved, Mr Weasley looked terrified and _Potter_ looked absolutely disgusted as he wiped something off on his robes.

"Oh, my goodness! What is... What is the meaning of this?" Minerva gasped as she stepped in front of Severus.

The children suddenly noticed that they were not alone and they all paled as they locked eyes with their Head of House. Severus instantly glared at Potter – knowing perfectly well that he was probably the one responsible.

"Why are you three not in your dorms!" cried McGonagall.

The boys looked as though they were about to say something but Granger suddenly stepped forward and _lied through her teeth_ as she explained that she had gone after the troll and had been saved by the boys. Snape was shocked of course at the girl's behavior and daring but no where near as mortified as he was when, to his horror, Minerva accepted that explanation!

He wanted to say something but his colleague had already begun lecturing the children and instead he turned his gaze towards Potter, whom he found starring at his leg. Quickly concealing it with his robes he glared at the boy for good measure. Potter wasn't even listening to McGonagall.

"And so five points to each of you for your dumb luck! Now return to the tower!"

Severus simply starred at McGonagall as if the other professor had just turned into a giant cupcake. He glanced at Quirrell to see whether he was just as surprised but the man was starring at the troll and didn't seem to have paid any attention. What on earth was Minerva doing _rewarding_ them for this stunt? And why would she simply accept Granger's account, no questions asked? Snape then reminded himself that this was the woman who had made Potter a seeker for breaking the rules and he wondered whether the old cat had caught some kind of 'indulgence decease' from Dumbledore. Minerva turned and left the bathroom – ordering Quirrell to get rid of the troll. Severus followed the children out when he overheard their whispered conversation:

"I really am sorry! I didn't..."

"It's okay! You just knocked out a troll for me! What kind of person would I be if I didn't forgive you?" smiled the Granger girl.

"Not all by myself. I couldn't have done it without Harry. Mate, it was bloody brilliant the way you jumped on it's back! Erh... Sorry about your wand – gross!"

The children grimaced at the thought of whatever Weasley had been referring to but Snape had heard enough! He could feel the blood run cold in his veins as the mental image of Potter physically assaulting the troll flashed in his mind.

" _Potter!_ " he called, his voice low and ominous. "Join me for a moment!"

The three children stopped and looked back at their professor. Potter didn't move and the other two children looked torn between taking him and making a run for it and standing their ground to defend him from Snape. Severus gestured for the other two to continue their journey to the Gryffindor Tower and Potter shrugged at them before slowly walking back to Snape. The potions master narrowed his eyes when the other two didn't move and the glare quickly sent them on their way though they looked at though they'd just left Potter in an acromantula nest.

"Yes, sir?" said a small voice below him.

Snape looked down at the miniature James in front of him. The green eyes – Lily's eyes, were wide and the boy shifted nervously from one foot to another.

"Potter," Snape began. "I'll have you know that not everyone is gullible enough to believe your lies. I suggest you behave yourself because I'll be watching you. Be off with you."

And with this warning Snape turned and walked away – his robes billowing as he went. A small child was left behind trembling in the hallway.

* * *

"Harry, at least consider it!"

Those had been Hermione's final words before she hugged her goodbye and left to go home for Christmas. Harry was watching Ron eating chocolate frogs in the common room as she considered the words.

A few days after Halloween the newly formed trio had been chased to the third floor by Filch's cat and had there discovered a huge three headed dog. Harry had been quick to piece the facts together and told her friends of what she had observed in Gringotts and about Snape's leg. Their suspicions were confirmed at Harry's first Quidditch match where Hermione prevented Snape from cursing Harry off her broom by setting fire to his robes.

Hermione had initially been quite consistent with her suggestions that Harry tell Ron her secret and she had actually been considering it up to Halloween. However, Snape's words in the hallway haunted her – she wasn't sure if he was referring to _that_ lie but it had left her more than a little apprehensive and scared of telling more people. She felt bad for it of course. She knew Ron considered them best friends and she knew he'd likely be upset if he found out Hermione had known but she hadn't told him.

Luckily the excitement of the mystery involving Snape and the dog had consumed Hermione and she had ceased insisting that Harry share the secret again. Harry didn't know, of course, but Hermione was hoping that telling Ron might ease the path to telling McGonagall. Since the matter had been dropped she was quite surprised when it resurfaced on the last day before the Christmas holiday.

Harry pushed it aside. She had other things to think about, like who send her that mysterious cloak and their plan to search the forbidden section of the library for information on Nicolas Flamel. Her other presents had been absolutely wonderful! Of course she would think that seeing as it was the first Christmas presents she could remember having gotten. She had gotten a knitted jumper from Ron's mother and a box of chocolate frogs from the boy himself. There had even been a card and a box of sugarmoths from the twins.  
Hermione had given her a book on Quidditch moves and a smaller slightly more personal present as well. It was a thin bracelet braided with thin blue ribbons and the occasional golden pearl braided in. It was Hermione's and Harry had once told her that she admired it. It was something Hermione had once made herself in school. Harry couldn't really wear it publicly and they both agreed on that – Harry felt it was too feminine and was still afraid of discovery and Hermione didn't like the thought of the ideas people might get if a boy whom she was almost always seen with now had a token of hers. So Harry kept this treasure on her left hand under her sleeve where it couldn't be seen. To her it was a reminder that she had someone whom she could trust in a world of so many uncertainties.

"I'll go tomorrow night, Ron! No better that it's only one of us! In case there's trouble," Harry smiled at her friend.

* * *

Harry tried her very best not to run as she sneaked down the corridor. Her hand was still covering her mouth. She had just witnessed an exchange between Professor Snape and Professor Quirrell that was strange to say the least but that had been the least of her worries. For a dreadful moment she had been certain that Snape had discovered her presence there as her breathing became too loud but luckily she managed to escape undetected.

They knew now that someone had been in the restricted section as Filch – whom she had almost had another run in with earlier, had alerted them. She needed to get back to the tower! She knew perfectly well that they would be searching for her now. Unfortunately she had been so preoccupied with getting away that she had wandered of course and know no longer knew where she were. By now she could manage to find her way in the castle by daylight but now in the darkness everything seemed foreign and scary.

She paused and tried to catch her breath as she leaned against the wall. There was moonlight shining through the windows. Her vision was blurred by the lighting and the shimmering cloak over her. She pulled the cloak off her head and let it rest around her shoulders while she caught her breath. Then a sudden noise reached her ears. Footsteps. They were coming closer and whomever it was, was walking fast. Panicking, Harry left the cloak draped around her shoulders and hurried through the nearest door – not caring where it lead so long as she was out of sight.

She turned around and leaned against the door and sure enough after a moment she heard the footsteps pass by the door and continue down the hallway. Harry closed her eyes and took a deep breath before reopening them and examining the room she had sought refuge in. She hadn't been in this room before. At some point it had clearly been a classroom or used to store desks because there were several desks stacked against the wall but they were covered with a thick layer of dust. The ceiling was high and moonlight shone through the two tall windows and illuminated a large object in the middle of the room.

Curious, Harry pulled off the cloak and stepped closer to the tall object. When she walked around to the other side of it, it became clear that it was a very large mirror. It looked quite old but unlike anything else in the room it was free of dust. At the top she read the word: _Erised_. The mirror surface was cloudy and slightly obscured by craquelure and Harry had to step close to it to see a shape in it. The lack of lighting proved a further problem but when Harry adjusted her eyes to the light she quite clearly saw two emerald eyes shining back at her. But as she turned to head back to the door something struck her as not quite right.

She turned back to face the mirror and now quite clearly saw three people in it – and none of them were her! She spun around to see if there indeed was someone behind her but the room remained empty. As she looked back into the mirror she almost fell over backwards as the realized who the two taller figures were. Smiling down at her were Lily and James Potter. They looked just like the picture Hermione had shown her. They were standing behind a child and James had placed a hand on her shoulder. The girl in front of her looked strange but still familiar. To Harry it was almost like seeing her sister. She raised her hand subconsciously and waved at them and was shocked when the girl mirrored her movements. Harry smiled – she smiled. Harry placed her hand upon the mirror and she did the same.

The girl was a little shorter than Harry but not by much. She was skinny and rather pale. Her hair was ravenblack just like Harry's by the looks of it but due to the lighting Harry couldn't be quite sure. Her hair was short – the same length as Harry's but it lay flat on her head, bangs covering her forehead. Harry brushed her own mop of hair and watched the other girl do the same. The girl's eyebrows and lips were thinner and her cheekbones higher. Her nose was narrow, straight and more pointy than Harry's with a very slight bump to it. The eyes however were exactly the same – large and green just like Lily's.

Harry wondered whether a sister of hers would indeed look like this. She smiled at the family in front of her but couldn't help feeling a little jealous of the mysterious sister who dressed just like her. This was what she'd always wanted: A family, her parents, someone to love who would love her just for being herself and not see her as some kind of freak.

"Tell me what you see, Harry," a voice said behind her.

Harry turned around to find none other than the Headmaster there. Her stomach turned to ice as she realized she'd been caught out of bed – looking at things that did not belong to her. The old man stepped closer and smiled at her.

"I... Sir... I'm so sorry," Harry began.

"Is it your parents?" inquired Dumbledore.

"Yes, sir. But..."

"But how are they there? Well, Harry, this mirror is quite a dangerous thing. Many have wasted away starring into it. It's not real, my boy, no one can bring back the dead. It shows that which we most desire."

"Oh.." said Harry as she considered whether she'd ever longed for a sibling. "But Professor, what do you see there then?"

"Socks. I see myself with a nice pair of socks."

When Harry gave Dumbledore a strange look he continued:

"You can never have too many socks. Still, I think it is best if you do not return here, Harry, the mirror is about to be moved. I suggest you return to your bed," the wizard smiled.

Harry only nodded and thanked the professor before grabbing her things and leaving. She wasn't sure which she found stranger: The mirror or the fact that she'd just been sent back to bed with not so much as a mention of her breaking curfew?

* * *

"Ron?"

"Mmm?"

"Wake up!"

"Mmm..."

"I need to talk to you."

"'M sleeping."

"Not anymore you're not. Ron, I'm serious. Please." Harry whispered even though she didn't know why – they were alone in the dorm but Harry sometimes felt like the walls had ears.

"What? What! Harry it's in the middle of the night!" Ron said as he finally sat up in bed.

Harry pulled the drapes closed and crawled up to sit on Ron's covers. It was the last night of the Christmas holidays and Harry had been thinking about doing this ever since that night with the mirror.

"Ron I need to tell you something. It's a secret. Do you promise not to tell anyone?"

Ron nodded. His eyes were wide and he pulled out an orb from his nightstand and shook it. A warm glow eminated from the orb and Ron placed the night light between them. Now with the drapings closed the bed felt almost like a cave. Harry tried to relax. She'd already come out and said it but she wanted to run away so badly.

"Does Hermione know?" Ron suddenly said.

Harry nodded and Ron's suspicions were confirmed. The two of them always disappeared after potions and they whispered often. Ron no longer felt jealous but he had hoped to be included at some point.

"She wanted me to tell you earlier. Promise you won't be mad?"

Ron agreed even though he knew perfectly well he could hardly make such a promise and be sure to keep it.

"I..." Harry began before the words stuck in her throat.

"You're a vampire in disguise?" Ron supplied with a grin.

"Something like that," Harry mumbled and Ron's smile vanished.

"Look, Harry, we're best mates, right? That's not going to change!"

Ron wasn't quite sure though – it sounded like something really awful but Ron couldn't stand the idea of losing his best friend either. No, no matter what it was he'd not leave Harry. He couldn't.

"Can.. Can I show you instead? Hermione found a way, you see."

"Would that make it easier?"

"I lied to you," Harry began and continued quickly when shock appeared on Ron's face: "Not really like that but I didn't say. I'm... Ron... I'm a... a girl."

Harry quickly looked down at the covers. She didn't want to see the look on Ron's face. Silence reigned for a moment after that.

"You're messing with me. You're a...?"

Harry looked up at Ron. The boy didn't look angry – he looked confused.

"I can show you. I can walk up the girls' stairs."

Harry moved as if to get off the bed but Ron grabbed her hand and held her back.

"Yeah, I'd want to see that! But... Harry? I mean.. Really? I..."

"It's okay if you don't want to be friends anymore but... Please don't tell."

Ron had been certain this was all some big joke on Harry's part but the tears he saw forming in his friend's eyes were real. Then he made a decision.

"Show me the stair thing," he mumbled and Harry nodded in reply.

A few moments later he watched as Harry came down the stairs and sat on the sixth step. Harry was nervous. However what Ron said was not what she'd expected at all:

"You mean... We had a _girl_ in our dorm all that time?"

Ron grimaced slightly before remembering that Harry was present. Then he smiled at the girl and moved closer.

"Don't worry, mate. I won't tell. Well, can the twins know? Oh, okay, okay. But really this has to be the greatest prank of all time! You basically pranked the whole world! Man, they'd be so jealous. Let's go back up – I have a few frogs left!"

Ron was still unsettled by the whole thing but he didn't want to bring Harry to tears again. He'd ask Hermione a few questions once she returned. Perhaps he could help.

 **TBC**


	8. The wind begins to blow

**A/N: I own and make nothing! - A large timejump here to the end of year one!**

* * *

Poppy Pomfrey was a practical woman. She prided herself on being able to keep calm during emergencies. There was hardly a malady that she hadn't seen or treated during her many years as a healer. Ever since she had been hired at Hogwarts she had been a light sleeper as she had often been woken in the dead of night to attend to a student with a stomach ache or a similar condition.

Therefore it was hardly a shock when she heard a loud banging on the door to her private chambers in the middle of the night. The year was almost over, however, and Poppy found she felt a twinge of sympathy for the poor child who needed her attentions since they might be going home for the holidays ill. She got out of bed and wrapped her creamcolored dressing gown around herself before she walked to the door.

When she opened the door she was surprised to find – not an ill student, but Professor Sprout. The other woman looked ill enough for ten students but before Poppy could open her mouth to inquire after her colleague's health the other woman spoke.

"Poppy! Hurry! Ready the infirmary! We may need you soon!"

"What...?" was all Pomfrey could say.

"Someone has gone after it... And there are students down there too!"

Pomona quickly turned on her heel and practically ran out of the infirmary but Poppy didn't really need additional information. This was bad. Very bad indeed. Poppy quickly got dressed and readied the infirmary – hoping and praying that she would not been accepting a corpse tonight!

* * *

Poppy watched the child grimace as Harry Potter put an apparently foul tasting bean in his mouth. The Headmaster had just left the infirmary after speaking to the boy for some time. Potter was the only patient there as Ron Weasley had been discharged long before the other boy woke up. Unlike Weasley, Potter had had no serious injuries but the moment he woke up she had found it prudent to put him back to sleep with a potion. The boy needed to rest. She wasn't quite sure what had happened to him and neither were the other staff. The Headmaster might have some idea but he hadn't given any understandable reply to Poppy's inquiries.

The boy's bed was surrounded by flowers, sweets and cards from his friends and a few members of staff. She watched the boy put the multiflavoured beans away and poke hesitantly at a box of chocolate frogs. She remembered her concerns during the first weeks of the school year, but Minerva had assured her that the boy had since taken up eating. Poppy didn't like to believe that Minerva could be mistaken nor that she might not have paid close enough attention but the mediwitch couldn't get the memory out of her head of briefly lifting the child to adjust his covers while he slept. He had been much too light. She remembered feeling his bones through his clothes. They had since been transformed to white pajamas that actually fit and therefore made it even more obvious.

Minerva's assurances be damned! The mediwitch walked over to the child and moved a few sweetboxes of the bed and stacked them on the bedside table.

"You had best leave room for dinner, Mr Potter!" she smiled even though she knew perfectly well that Potter had hardly touched anything.

"Oh, it's okay, Madam Pomfrey! You don't have to send for anything. I'm not really hungry," replied the boy with a weak smile.

"Really?" the witch raised an eyebrow. "So you wouldn't like to go to the feast tonight then? You are all leaving tomorrow you know!"

The boy paused and pulled his knees up to his chest.

"I... I get to go then? You mean I can leave now?" said the boy and failed to conceal his excitement at being released.

"Yes," Pomfrey smiled. "There won't be much time to say goodbye tomorrow. Then you'll go home to your family."

Poppy didn't miss the dark shadow that suddenly came over the child's face. She paused for a moment, considering her next move. She had a terrible feeling about this but she wasn't sure whether asking the boy straight out would be the best idea. It was better to make sure.

"Lie down, Mr Potter. There's one last thing I need to do. Once we're done you may join your friends," she said.

The boy apprehensively leaned back onto the bed and tried his best to lie still. Poppy had already done a diagnostic spell when Potter entered but it hadn't been very thorough and had instantly revealed exactly what she suspected – exhaustion. She raised her hand and waved her wand in the complicated pattern that had become second nature to her. As soon as she was done a quill and a piece of parchment appeared and the quill began recording the findings. The list grew longer and longer as every single aspect of Potters health was documented. Poppy sighed. There was no way she could get through it all tonight but she would eventually. Better safe than sorry. If it turned out to be nothing more than a picky child she wouldn't mind at all.

A small sound emanated from the child as the procedure dragged on and Poppy spied the longing in Potter's eyes to get out of bed. After twenty minutes of scribbling, the quill finally stopped. Parchment littered the floor and Poppy was now certain that everything from the state of Potter's liver to the circumference of his toes had been described. The child was squirming impatiently and Poppy raised her wand and transformed the pajamas back into his clothes.

"Now, then! Run along with you. And I you feel the least bit tired come and see me!"

"Thank you! Thank you, Madam Pomfrey!" grinned the child as he grabbed the box of frogs and hurried out the door.

Considering that the boy had been so weak not long ago, Poppy was amazed at the amount of energy the boy now possessed.

* * *

The pitiful lump of wax remaining of the burned down candle was cold. Parchment was scattered over the usually tidy desk. It had been a long night. It was afternoon and Poppy Pomfrey was sitting in her chair – her face on her desk as she slept. Sometime in the early morning her body had given up and she had fallen asleep. The woman began to stir. Her muscles ached and she silently scolded herself for not going to bed on time. She had nurtured a small hope of possibly finishing her read through before the children left. What time was it?

Poppy opened her eyes and glanced at the clock on her wall. Almost 3 o'clock. The children were long gone. The woman got up and stretched herself. Then she grabbed a half eaten biscuit sitting on a plate on her table and ate it quickly before glancing at her progress. She had managed to go through an impressive amount. So far her suspicions had been confirmed – Harry Potter was very underweight and had several mineral deficiencies. In fact she was surprised the boy didn't have scurvy too. He was much to short for his age as well which was a direct result of the malnutrition which according to the scans were not a new problem.

She'd need to take this up with Minerva certainly but she wanted to finish first. Sighing she sat down again and picked up the next parchment from the pile. Her eyes wandered across the letters before she suddenly paused.

 _No. That's not right._

She quickly hurried through the text before grabbing the next page and going through it was well. Her eyes widened in horror. Could there be a mistake? No, she'd performed the spell herself. She looked down at the pages in her hands. Scribbled upon the parchment was a description some of Harry's internal organs. They were normally healthy, that wasn't the problem – the problem was that they should not even be there! But there was no denying it – even if Poppy was completely shocked as to how Harry Potter had acquired them. She hurried through the parchments to find the section describing the more – external parts of the region. Once again she was amazed. Not only by what was there but just as much by what _wasn't_ there.

Poppy grabbed her creamcolored dressing gown – she was quite chilly having slept in the same uniform she had worn the night before. She hastily grabbed the parchment and ran for the door.

* * *

Minerva McGonagall turned her back on the gargoyle guarding the entrance to the Headmaster's office. A bunch of letters were clutched in her hand. She was about to begin the journey back to her own office when suddenly a creamcolored cloud came thundering towards her. She only barely managed not get trampled and when she realized it was Poppy Pomfrey she moved to stop the woman. The other woman was breathing heavily and Minerva assumed she must have ran all the way from the infirmary. In fact, she had never seen the mediwitch quite like this before. Her uniform was wrinkled and she wore a dressing gown on top of it. Her hair was a mess and there were dark circles under her eyes. Her held a bunch of papers in her arms.

"Poppy! What on earth? Poppy, are you well?" Minerva inquired after she got over the initial shock.

"Minerva! I.." Madam Pomfrey gasped. "I need to see the Headmaster! _Immediately!_ "

McGonagall reached out and placed her hand upon the other witch's arm.

"Poppy! Breathe! What's the matter?"

"I'll tell you when we find the Headmaster!" Poppy replied and moved towards the gargoyle.

"He isn't here," Minerva informed her and followed Poppy.

The other witch stopped dead in her tracks and turned back towards Minerva.

"What do you mean? Where is he?" asked Pomfrey, her eyes wide.

"He left this morning to meet with Flamel. I'm in charge until his return. Poppy, for Merlin's sake! What's going on?"

Poppy seemed to be considering something.

"Not here," she finally. "Your office. Now!"

Then the mediwitch simply turned on her heels and marched in the direction of McGonagall's office. Minerva followed her – too worried about this unknown situation to be annoyed by the fact that Pomfrey had pretty much just given her an order.

When the two women finally arrived in the red and gold office, Pomfrey walked over to the desk and roughly pushed Minerva's work aside to place her own stack of papers there. Minerva was genuinely scared at this point as she had never seen her friend like this unless someone was bleeding to death. She closed the door and cast silencing charms just for good measure. When she turned and met Pomfrey's eyes she could see the woman's approval of these security measures.

"Minerva, something is wrong. Something is very wrong!"

Minerva cast a quick glance at the papers on her desk and when the other woman gestured for her to look at them she quickly stepped over and picked them up.

"Medical scans?" she mumbled.

"Harry Potter's medical scans. I was worried. The.. Harry was so skinny. I wanted to be sure it wasn't dangerous. So I took a complete scan."

Minerva nodded silently. She couldn't think of a word to say as the reality of the words she was reading hit her.

"Are... Are you sure?" Minerva began, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Yes.. He... _She_ is female."

"But.. How could.. Someone should have noticed! Some of the students at least."

Poppy paused. She remembered a rather strange conversation she had had several months ago.

"I believe some or at least one of the students do know.. Miss Granger came to me asking questions about spells that could reveal a person's sex. Minerva, what are we going to do?"

McGonagall simply starred at the papers in her hands. Nicolas Flamel's whereabouts were known only to his closest friends and she had no way of contacting Albus while he was there. Furthermore she wasn't sure how long he would be gone. He could be gone for weeks at a time. No, she was alone with this problem.

"Poppy.." she suddenly said. "I need you to... Not mention this to anyone. I'll look into it."

She decided that lesson plans be hanged! She was going to look in the ministry archives and see if she could find anything. Then there was the problem of Harry. Should she speak to him.. _her_? She decided it was best to at least give the Headmaster a week or two to return. Meanwhile she'd dig up anything she could about the Potters and have Arabella watch Harry closely. If Dumbledore hadn't returned by then she'd have to do something.

* * *

Minerva McGonagall was furious! It had been two weeks! TWO WEEKS! And not a single word from Albus Dumbledore! She was beginning to suspect he might have truly gone off on holiday – leaving her to deal with this mess! So far she had spent several hours a week going over the records available to her at the Ministry archives but nothing that could explain Poppy's discovery had come up. She was walking down the hallway in the Ministry's _Department of Family Affairs_ where she had spent another hour going through papers concerning Harry Potter.

Of course she didn't truly expect the ministry to simply have the answer because there was no way of them knowing something Albus Dumbledore didn't! But she had hoped for a possible clue.

"Professor? Professor!" a voice behind her called and Minerva turned to find a young man with golden hair walking up to her.

"Mr Malwin! I had heard you had been employed by the Ministry! And I believe congratulations are in order? How is Mariah?"

The young man smiled at the witch who had once taught him at school.

"Mariah is well, Professor. And so is the baby. I understand you have been looking into the Potter files recently?"

Minerva nodded.

"I thought you might wish to know magic has been registered at young Mr Potter's residence this evening and a warning letter has been dispatched."

"Thank you, Malwin! I'll personally look into it! Now, give my best to Mariah."

The young man nodded and continued on his way – leaving McGonagall to consider this new development. She couldn't postpone it any longer. Albus had been gone far too long and had he not left her in charge? She could wait no more. She had to act and hope she did the right thing.

* * *

McGonagall could hear Poppy's footsteps behind her. The old lioness took a deep breath before greeting her colleague. Poppy stopped besides her and nodded, silently communicating that she was ready. In her hands Pomfrey held Harry's medical scan – now in an orderly stack. Minerva turned and knocked on the heavy wooden door in front of her.

"Enter!" she heard the familiar voice snap.

The door swung open by itself and the two women entered the office to find Snape sitting behind his desk. A stack of papers lay in front him and in his hand he held a quill dripping red ink. Poppy was rarely if ever in the dungeons as she preferred to call for Snape when she needed his assistance and she felt uncomfortable in his office which was almost the opposite of her bright infirmary. Every wall was lined with shelves containing either books or jars. There was a large fireplace and two student desks in standing in the corner near the door. There were no windows and so the room was lit by lamps, candles and the glow from the fireplace. All in all the room appeared dark and gloomy though if one had paid attention to the alphabetized books or the neat alignment of the jars one might have concluded that Pomfrey and Snape shared a love of order.

The man himself was clad in his usual black robes and his usual blank facial expression. He quickly set the quill aside and got up when he saw who his visitors were. Minerva confidently stepped forward as Poppy examined a nearby shelf.

"Severus, I need your help! It's incredibly important!"

The man's eyes simply narrowed and Minerva recalled that last they had spoken he had still been quite furious about Gryffindor winning the Housecup in the last minute manner they did.

"Do you need a flea treatment?" Snape smirked at McGonagall and gestured towards Pomfrey whom he was more than a little surprised to see in his office.

"No..." Minerva was much too nervous about the whole Potter situation to make any retort.

"I need you to accompany me to Surrey tomorrow."

"Excuse me?" Severus starred at the transfiguration professor. He'd suspected her of losing it several times during the year especially in connection with Potter and now it appeared she wanted to pay the bray a visit and wanted _him_ to come along. A part of him wanted to order her to stop her nonsense and leave him be but McGonagall looked anxious and Severus knew there was something more to this.

"Severus... Something's come up. I don't know how to explain this but I'm going to Surrey and I'm going to be asking some questions. You knew Petunia and I just think it might be easier if someone she knows is there with me. I'm a complete stranger to her and I have no reason to think she would welcome me."

Snape was intrigued. He most certainly had no intention of going to see anyone from that household but he still wanted to know what had Minerva so unsettled.

"I don't believe Petunia would welcome any magical person," he replied.

"Be that as it may, I still believe bringing you might make my task easier."

"What is..." Severus began but then Pomfrey moved over to the desk and placed a stack of parchment in front of him. He instantly picked it up and glanced at the content.

"Medical scans?" he said perfectly echoing Minerva's words a few weeks earlier.

"Harry Potter's medical scans!" added McGonagall.

"I noticed the child was much too thin and decided to do a full scan while Potter was still in the infirmary," said Poppy and as she pointed to a certain section she added: "There! Read this!"

It was all Severus could do not to whip out his wand and hex both witches out of the door! What on earth were they playing at!? _This isn't a joke. Minerva is clearly..._ No! This couldn't be! It wasn't possible! _Why would they make that up?_ No, it had to be...

"You made a mistake," Snape whispered, his eyes still on the parchment in his hands.

"I don't make mistakes," Pomfrey replied sharply.

"There's also another matter to attend to. The Ministry has registered usage of magic in the house and Harry has received a warning. Albus isn't here. I hoped he would return shortly but as I see it I must take action now. Severus, I need you to join me!"

Severus Snape loved control. Control of his day, his potions, his mind, himself and others as well. His students would say that Snape only had two moods – Annoyed and angry. In actuality what appeared to them as uncontrolled fury was in fact anything but. He had always had a fiery temper – like his father before him, but the occlumensy had offered him a way to control his emotions. However this year he had failed to do so more times than he was comfortable with and every time Potter had been the cause and a couple of his good jars had ended up on the floor once he was alone. He couldn't deal with this. He didn't want to deal with this. He wanted to forget Potter existed but the little menace simply had wiggle his (her?) way into his life. And now when the school year was finally over and he had hoped to have a few Potter-free months – this happens!

"Curiosity killed the cat, Minerva," he replied as he handed the stack to Pomfrey.

"Will you come?" Minerva asked – a hint of annoyance now audible in her voice.

"I will," Severus replied shortly before he turned his back to the women.

McGonagall knew this was all she could expect from him and having gotten what she came for she turned and left with Pomfrey hot on her heels. As soon as the door closed behind the witches, Snape sank into his chair and starred into nothingness in contemplation.

* * *

It was late afternoon the next day and Severus Snape was making his way across the entrance hall. McGonagall was waiting for him as the door dressed in a long green coat. Severus himself hadn't bothered considering his appearance. If his black robes were to draw any kind of negative attention to Petunia Dursley he would only be thrilled.

"Are you ready?" the elderly witch greeted him as he approached.

He sneered at her in reply. Yesterday night the mystery had eventually intrigued him enough to agree but now that he was actually leaving for Surrey he dreaded the thought immensely. Together the two of them left the castle and made their way off the Hogwarts grounds and then they apparated.

 **TBC**


	9. Not our mess!

**A/N: I own and make nothing**

* * *

Lost in his own thoughts of the absolute absurdity of this expedition and how everything was sure to turn out to be nothing more than Poppy turning senile, Severus Snape failed to concentrate properly and accidentally apparated into a Hydrangea shrub. He stepped out of the plant with as much grace as he could muster, remembering to glare at McGonagall who was standing on the pavement looking annoyingly pleased with this exhibition – having just emerged from the far more suitable apparatingpoint of inside a garden shed. Severus walked out of the front yard over to his colleague – relieved the no one had seen him yet.

If the witch hadn't been there with him he might have considered the possibility of him having died overnight and gone to hell. The houses were uniform. Every front yard was blossoming with mostly pastel colors. The scent of flowers and smoke from several grills hung in the air. Children were running up and down the street. Severus paused.

"I cast a notice-me-not charm while you were busy fighting the shrubbery," Minerva informed him.

"Which number is it?" Severus inquired eager to forget about the Hydrangea.

"Number four. It should be down there. Though, mind you, I haven't been here for a decade."

Snape huffed slightly and followed McGonagall down the street. It was a wealthy neighborhood. That much was clear from the state of the houses and the pristine gardens. Severus always knew that Potter came from the higher end of muggle society and despite the fact that he knew perfectly well what a spoilt brat he (she? No! He... Surely) was, he couldn't help but feel jealous and enraged at actually seeing it. Thoughts of his own childhood surfaced but Snape pushed them aside.

"Here we are," announced Minerva and pointed to a house across the street.

If the rest of the street could be considered nice and cheery – The Dursleys' front yard could be considered a pastel explosion. It had several flower beds and low trimmed hedges separated it from the adjoining properties. There was even a little fountain there with a ghastly statue of a cherub pouring water from a pot. Severus wasn't at all surprised – the color scheme reminding him of Petunia's childhood wardrobe consisting entirely of floral dresses. The facade of the house was almost completely identical to the others. The one exception being bars on one of the first floor windows. A latter still stood under it, revealing that they had been put there recently if not the same day. Severus was about to point this out to Minerva but found the witch was no longer at his side.

McGonagall was already making her way across the street and Severus followed. He had to constantly remind himself of why they were there to keep himself from apparating strait back to Hogwarts. He almost felt tainted by his pastel surroundings and a strange yucky feeling wouldn't leave him. Minerva was now at the door and there she paused and starred at it. She turned and looked at Snape after a while as the man caught up with her. The concern was evident in her eyes and Severus felt a twinge of something not far from being fear when he saw it. If Severus Snape had not been directly involved in this situation or indeed if it was anyone but Potter he might well have believed Poppy. As it was he didn't want to – for the sake of the wizarding world, he told himself. True, it certainly would be a complication of epic proportions but the truth was that Severus couldn't stand the thought that Lily was involved in deceit of this magnitude – and why?

Another thought suddenly surfaced and Snape violently showed it into the back his mind but the feeling of despair and disgust it had caused remained behind.

"Well?" he sneered at Minerva a little more harshly than he meant to in an effort to distract himself.

"Are you ready?" she asked more to herself than Snape but he nodded in reply just the same.

McGonagall took a deep breath and firmly knocked on the door. It wasn't long before they could hear some shuffling about on the other side. Then the door opened and a blond horse faced woman looked out at Minerva. A forced smile was plastered on her face but as soon she saw McGonagall, despite the professor's relatively muggle clothes, she almost closed the door but seemed to reconsider. She studied Minerva from the now cracked door and seemed to either have ignored or overlooked Snape who was still standing behind the witch, now with his arms crossed.

"Who are you? What do you want?" Petunia demanded.

"Mrs Dursley? Pardon the intrusion. My name is Professor McGonagall and I'm one of Harry's teachers. I wonder if we might come in?"

The other woman's eyes narrowed considerably.

"I think not. I demand you leave now before I call the police!" she snapped before moving to close the door.

She couldn't however as she suddenly found a black boot in the way. Petunia starred at it for a few seconds before looking up at the person who had blocked her doorway. The black clad man was frowning at her and she suddenly felt more uneasy than angry. Something about him seemed familiar but Petunia couldn't quite figure out why!

"We don't want your kind here! Leave us!" she hissed as soon as she found her courage.

"It's not very polite to leave your guests standing in front yard! What _will_ the neighbors think?" Severus tsk'ed.

Concern flashed in Petunia's eyes and Severus mused that he found her every bit as unattractive a person as he remembered her. When she still didn't move, he took a few steps forward, passing Minerva and that seemed to unsettle her just enough because Petunia took several steps backwards. Thus she let go of the door and it swung open, making it possible for Snape and McGonagall to enter. Minerva closed the door behind them while Severus tried to keep his lunch down at the sight of the internal decor. Meanwhile Petunia seemed to have snapped out of it.

"What do you want?" she spat.

"Where's Harry?" Minerva inquired calmly.

When Petunia didn't respond she continued:

"Is this the living room, then?" She said as she entered and sat down at on the floral couch.

Snape and Petunia followed her – Petunia muttering protests and Snape trying very hard not to brush against anything.

"I would like you to fetch Harry, Mrs Dursley. We have things to discuss," Minerva stated as she glanced at the photographs on the wall – none of which included Harry.

"MUM! WHERE IS THE BLUE CAR?" someone suddenly cried and a moment later something came jumping down the stairs.

At first Severus wasn't quite sure it wasn't a troll but having also seen the pictures on the wall he concluded that this had to be Petunia's son. The whaleboy took one step into the living room where he instantly locked eyes with a scowling Snape and promptly screamed. Petunia went completely white and rushed over to comfort him. The next moment someone bellowed from the first floor:

"What's going on down there?"

Severus winced at the sound. Unfortunately his sudden movement sent the boy into hysterics and he turned and ran for the stairs – managing to almost knock over his mother in the process. He didn't get far though as someone else was coming down. A mustached man who was really only a larger version of his son stopped as soon as his son ran into him full force and only just managed to stay on his feet.

"Darling, what's the meaning of..." he began but then he noticed Severus through the open door.

"No! We won't have any more of you! Get out of my house! Out! Right now!" he thundered as he and his son made their way down – for they couldn't both use the stairs at the same time.

"Make me," sneered Snape. "Where's your nephew? I'm getting impatient."

He pulled out his wand a casually spun it around in his hand. The effect was glorious. Vernon Dursley's face turned beet red, Petunia looked as if she was about to pass out and the boy fled into the kitchen. Neither of the elder Dursleys said a word but Snape didn't fail to notice their eyes glancing at the stairs for just a moment.

"Mr Dursley, Mrs Dursley, why don't you come and sit down? The sooner we can be done here and on our way," Minerva called from the living room.

"I'll get Potter," muttered Snape and made his way up the stairs as Petunia and Vernon exchanged a few glances and joined McGonagall.

At the top of the stairs was a small hallway with five doors. Severus quickly noted that one of the doors had several locks and quickly dismissed it as some closet the Dursleys kept valuables in. He turned to inspect the remaining doors. He could easily call for Potter but didn't like the idea of standing around waiting for the boy to finish what ever he was doing. Two of the other doors were open. One clearly lead to the elder Dursleys' bedroom and the other appeared to be filled with toys. Confident that he had found the room, Severus entered only to find a room overflowing with toys but no sign of Potter.

"Potter?"

No reply. Perhaps it was one of the other doors. Severus quickly stepped back into the hallway and opened first the door to the bathroom and then the door to a broom closet. Confused, Severus turned back towards the locked door. It couldn't be? Now that he was looking at it properly he noticed that a catflap was installed at the bottom. Sawdust still lay on the carpet, indicating that the feature had just been added. He tried the handle but the door was locked. Hesitantly Snape raised his wand and hoped his instincts were wrong and Potter was simply hiding in the other room. Not bothering to manually unlock the locks that locked from the outside, he flicked his wrist and the door flung open.

The room was bare. There was a desk, a wardrobe and a bed and the furniture barely fit in the room as it was. The first thing Severus realized upon entering was that the window had bars on it and he remembered seeing those from the outside. On the bed lay a child curled up with his back to him.

"Potter?"

The reaction was instant. Potter spun around and upon seeing the intruder, the child's eyes widened and he flew backwards into the corner where Potter pulled his legs up under himself and hid his face. Severus opened his mouth as if to speak but he couldn't seem to find the words.

 _No! No, I'm dreaming. I'm lying delirious in the infirmary._

"Potter, I..."

Minerva! She would know what to do!

"Potter, follow me downstairs."

"Snape?" said the child and raised his head, starring at him like he was a werewolf.

Snape didn't even bother to correct the child's manner of addressing him because he was much too occupied with battling the horrible feeling in his chest. The room reminded him of something. Something he had long since repressed. He knew Potter to be the model brat but this was a prison cell! Eager to have McGonagall deal with this, he simply reached out and grabbed Potter's arm and pulled him off the bed. The child didn't put up much of a fight as they came down the stair though he certainly didn't make an effort to keep up with his professor either.

Upon entering the living room it was clear that he had missed absolutely nothing. Minerva was sitting there sipping a cup of tea she had somehow gotten Petunia to prepare and the two Dursleys sat in the armchairs glaring at her.

"Minerva!"

Minerva looked up at the sound of Snape's voice. A smile appeared on her face when she spotted Harry and disappeared just as quickly when she saw the fear in the child's eyes.

"Minerva, may I suggest you take a look at Potter's room before we begin?" Snape sneered as he glared at the Dursleys.

"We can explain, he..." Petunia began.

"Explain? _Explain?_ " Snape huffed.

He could feel the anger rising in him. Never mind, that this was Potter. Locking a child up like that was never acceptable. He unknowingly tightened his grip on Potter's arm, causing the child to whimper. As soon as he heard the sound he let go of the child as if he'd been burned.

"What's going on?" McGonagall said and motioned for Harry to join her on the couch.

The child didn't move a muscle and instead Snape pushed Potter over to her with the words:

"Sit! Now!"

That did it. Harry obeyed quickly and sat down stiffly.

"Harry, what's going on?" Minerva said softly.

"That's what I would like to know! Why do you feel it necessary to lock your nephew in a room with bars on the window?" hissed Snape. "And just what did you intend to use that catflap for?"

"He deserved it! Dropped a cake on my guests yesterday with his freaky powers!" Vernon spat.

"I DID NOT!" cried Harry suddenly to the surprise of the professors.

"IT WAS THE HOUSE ELF!"

At the sound of Potter's voice, Severus suddenly remember where he was and who he was defending. A house elf? That wasn't even remotely possible and even though he in no way agreed with locking a child up so permanently, he had no doubt that Potter was guilty of dropping the cake. He might have accepted accidental magic if Potter had claimed that but the child admitted it had been deliberate though he lied about who had done it.

"Potter! Be quiet!" Snape admonished.

Minerva suddenly rose – ignoring Potter's outlandish claims.

"Which door?" she asked as she passed Severus.

"The one with the locks," he replied and she stormed up the stairs.

A moment later she returned – a murderous look in her eyes. Snape took a deep breath. He needed to let Minerva deal with this. Just do as they planned and get out of there. They probably just had enough of prince Potter and overreacted. But still.

Minerva sat down on the couch as calmly as she could and motioned for Snape to sit down beside Potter but he remained standing.

"We'll be discussing this, believe me! However, first we must attend to a different matter."

She took a deep breath and looked at Potter.

"Harry, Madam Pomfrey had a look at your scans and... Well, according to them you should be... female."

Potter suddenly got up from the couch and would likely have fled the room had Snape not been blocking the way. The sounds coming from the Dursleys were even more telling.

"That's enough! What do you want?" cried Petunia.

"Answers," mumbled Snape.

"Well, you're not getting any! You have not right to charge in here and..." added Vernon.

"Severus, we..." began McGonagall but she didn't get to finish the sentence because just then a loud sound was heard as the teacup Petunia had been holding fell to the floor and into a hundred pieces.

"Y... You!" She gasped and starred at Snape with wide eyes.

"Hello, Tuney!" sneered Snape.

"You? Snape!" She all but cried.

The next second however came as a shock to everyone as a decorative pillow was hurled at Snape's face by Petunia. He barely managed to dodge it but before he could hex the woman's hands off she yelled:

"You have some nerve coming here now! After all these years! Leaving us with the freak like that!"

Severus paused. What on earth was she talking about? He had had nothing at all to do with the placement of Potter! He glanced at Minerva who looked every bit as confused.

"There! Take her then! And get out!" Petunia cried as she got up from her chair, grabbed Potter and shoved the child towards Snape.

" _Her?_ " Minerva said as she got up from the couch. "So it's true then?"

Petunia froze and Vernon got to his feet and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Is this him?" Vernon sneered as he gestured towards Snape.

* * *

In the confusion nobody seemed to be paying any attention to Harry who was now softly crying.

"Harry?" said McGonagall who now noticed the tears and put her hand on the child's shoulder.

"Is it true?"

Harry instantly looked to his aunt and uncle who were still busy trying to stare Snape down – not realizing that they would lose that battle. She was terrified. It was one thing to be dragged from her room by Snape but now they were asking questions and Harry didn't know how to handle it. Since she was very young she had been instructed never to let anyone know she was a girl but now her aunt had outright said it herself to two of the people she had ordered Harry to conceal it from. Did this mean it was okay for Harry to admit it? Or was this some kind of test?

"Miss Granger knows doesn't she?" she heard McGonagall say and before she could stop herself she replied: "And Ron too."

Realizing that she had just confirmed it she covered her mouth with her hands and starred at the Deputy Headmistress in horror.

"Potter is _female_?" Snape suddenly said though it was unclear whether he was informing himself or asking Petunia.

"Well, yes..." Petunia replied and looked at Snape as though she could not comprehend how he didn't know that. Harry sighed with relief.

* * *

"Are you taking her or what?" growled Vernon as he looked at Snape.

"Excuse me?" Severus replied still adjusting to Poppy's discovery being true.

"Mr Dursley, we came here to confirm that Harry was female. What we would really like to know is how that is so," said McGonagall.

"Are you going to expel me now?" said a small voice next to Minerva.

Minerva looked down at the _girl_ at her side. Severus rolled his eyes. Harry Potter was secretly female and all the child was worried about was staying in school – of course Potter didn't realize the shock this would give the wizarding world.

"No, Harry, we're going to figure this out," the witch replied reassuringly and sat down again.

"Why don't you sit down next to me?"

The girl hesitated but she obeyed. It seemed she could only breathe relatively easy next to Minerva. Severus was already going over everything he knew about the time after Potter's birth – trying to make sense of it all. That feeling from earlier hadn't left him.

"Perhaps... Now would be a good time to _explain yourselves_!" sneered Snape, almost yelling the last words.

In response a loud shriek could be heard from the kitchen and Vernon Dursley immediately moved towards the door with fury painted on his face only to be held back by Petunia.

"You mean... You don't know? You didn't get the letter?" she asked Severus with wide eyes.

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about," he replied and crossed his arms.

"I don't care if you're going to sit here and play hostess to these _people_ ," Vernon sneered at his wife. "I'm going to see to Dudley."

The man left the room. Severus didn't fail to notice that Potter's eyes followed him out and that she moved closer to Minerva when he went.

"How long have you pretended to be a boy?" McGonagall asked the child.

"Since she started school," Petunia answered on Harry's behalf.

" _Why_ ," it came coldly from Snape who was losing his patience.

"Don't look at me like that! I promised to conceal it! I wasn't going to raise her a boy just because you lot thought she was one! I wasn't about to make her any more unnatural than she already is! But once we had to put her in school we couldn't very well just let her walk in there in a dress! What would people think!" Petunia explained as she was becoming more and more hysterical.

"Why would people think her a boy in the first place?" McGonagall pointed out at same time as Snape said:

"You promised?"

Petunia looked like a cornered mouse. Severus would have normally been delighted with the sight but right now he was too confused to focus on anything else other than the Potter mystery.

"I don't understand why you didn't come for her anyway – she's your mess after all!" Petunia spat at Severus with such anger that he was reminded of a furious shewolf. Even if he didn't understand what she was saying he recognized accusation in her voice. His face became white with anger and he was just about to hex her hair off when he heard Minerva say:

"Mrs Dursley, Harry is not our mess. She's not anyone's mess. She's a child."

The elderly witch placed a protective arm around Harry who had been watching the whole thing with wide eyes. Petunia simply huffed at that remark.

" _Indeed_. That's rich. She's _his_ child!"

"WHAT?" cried Snape as he stumbled several steps backwards and ended up against the wall.

The sound of his voice almost drowned out Harry screaming the exact same word but the following silence was cemented by the sound of the door slamming as Harry ran out of the room.

 **TBC**


	10. Unmasked

**A/N: I own and make nothing**

* * *

"H... Have you completely lost your mind?" Severus finally said.

Petunia was glaring at him and McGonagall was sitting there with her mouth wide open.

"It's true, Snape. She's yours. And I thought you were supposed to be smart."

"Mrs Dursley.. That's a serious..." Minerva began as she stood but still she eyed Snape with suspicion.

"Th... That's not even... remote possible! At the time Potter was conceived we... No!"

"Severus?" Minerva suddenly narrowed her eyes. "What are you saying? You're not actually telling me you and Lily ever..."

"It wasn't like that!" Snape protested.

"Severus! You sit down right this minute and tell me what you did!" Minerva commanded, horror and disgust flashed in her eyes.

"Don't! I never! How can you even _think_ that! How dare you!" Snape cried.

His face was white with anger and disgust at what Minerva was suggesting. The witch seemed to relax somewhat seeing the emotions on his face but she was still uneasy.

"If there was any victim in that affair it was me! Besides Minerva the timing doesn't fit!"

"She said she used magic," it suddenly came from Petunia.

"Who?" said McGonagall even though she knew the answer.

"Lily confided in me. She made me swear to keep her secret. Until..."

Severus wasn't quite sure what was the best course of action. On one hand he wanted nothing more than to disprove Petunia's claim and hear her story but on the other he was pretty sure Minerva would kill him sometime during this conversation. Minerva took a deep breath and pointed at the space beside her on the couch. Although Severus preferred to stand he knew he needed to keep her calm until he had explained himself – otherwise they would end up dueling in Petunia's living room. He quickly moved over and sat down next to her.

"Severus... Why don't you start?"

He nodded, carefully weighing his options and deciding on the best escape route should he need it.

"I thought you fell out."

"We did. I didn't hear from her for what seemed ages. I met her in the spring of '79. It was a complete coincidence!" said Snape, adding the last sentence when he saw Minerva tensing up. "I was sitting at the Leaky Cauldron when she came in. I didn't know why at first but she came over to me and asked if we could talk. However, it turned out she had heard that I... had made my unsavory friendships more... permanent."

McGonagall nodded.

"But Severus. She was married to James at the time. She..."

"I know," Severus said as he cut her off. "She said she'd forgiven me and wanted to know if I would still speak to her. I don't need to tell you how I felt hearing that. So we arranged to meet again."

Severus closed his eyes for a moment – the hurt still fresh in his heart. How could he tell Minerva? What would she think? But he knew she would chase him down sooner or later for the story if he fled. And he needed to prove he was not... _related_... to Potter.

"When we met I told her that I was sorry for... I told her that I loved her. She seemed to already know. We met several times after that. Lily grew... friendlier with me. I truly believed her. She spoke of how things could have been. But I eventually realized she wanted me to leave and come with her – to the Order. She offered to speak to Dumbledore on my behalf. I couldn't. Then she said she loved me."

Minerva made a sound but Severus quickly continued.

"Don't worry, Minerva. She didn't mean it. At least not like that. I eventually understood that she was merely trying to get me to leave the ranks of the Dark Lord. Her promises were too vague, her attachment to Potter too obvious. But I wanted to believe her. That there was a chance. And... Minerva, if I'm guilty of anything it is too have lead Lily to believe I was more willing to follow her than I was. Of course when she eventually confronted me with it directly I turned her down. She left in a fit of rage and I didn't see her again until... that night. But my point is that this happened months before Potter would have been conceived. It simply isn't possible."

"Severus, do you truly expect me to believe Lily would cheat on James of her own free will?"

"Hah! You're all so convinced my sister was an angel aren't you?" sneered Petunia.

"And yes, she did do it! She told me herself!"

"She was always clever," Severus mumbled. "She truly believed that... I could be saved."

"You proved her correct didn't you?" said Minerva. There was some uncertainty still in her voice but her tone had become gentle.

"She told me she used magic. For some months," said Petunia.

"A stasis spell?" Minerva asked, her eyes wide.

"She said James was suspicious. But she couldn't... She wasn't sure at the time who the father was. She was afraid he would leave her. When she considered it safe she took it off."

"That can't be! Lily would have told me if..." Snape cried.

This time it was him who was feeling cornered and he hated every moment of it. He didn't want Petunia's claims to be true in any way! And that horrible feeling from earlier still wouldn't leave him. When he had arrived he'd considered the place hellish – now he was certain this _was_ hell!

"She _did!_ Or at least she told me she did!"

"Mrs Dursley, you had better start from the beginning!" said McGonagall.

"So you will listen to me now? Very well. She contacted me a few days after the baby was born. I had quite a lot to see to with little Dudders and I didn't much appreciate my sister appearing after months of silence. When I asked why she was here she told me that this was the only place she could go. The only place James would let her visit because he knew we had no contact to your world and couldn't contact anyone in it. She had apparently managed to convince him that she wanted to share the happy news with her sister."

Petunia moved a bit in her chair and continued when her audience didn't have any comments.

"She was in quite a state actually. It was then she told me. She had given birth with no one but James for help because they were in hiding – having been recently attacked. When she first saw the child all her fears were confirmed and she secretly did some kind of test to confirm that the child was indeed not James'. I don't know exactly what she did but she told me she knew only one other person it could be.

"Paternity potion," Snape mumbled without realizing.

"She told me she had written a letter to you and tried to post it but James had stopped her and demanded her to hand it over. She knew he'd suspected something and she was terrified he'd leave her. But when he saw the letter he apparently became enraged and refused to let her send it – taking away her owl. She got hold of the letter and hid it upon her person. She fled the house in the middle of the night and left the letter with a friend who was to deliver it to you. When she returned James threw a fit and said that you would never have either Lily or the child. He knew she'd informed you that the girl was his and he said out to disprove that. Lily said he did something to the baby to make it look like him and that he had introduced it as his son to his friends because he knew what Lily had written in her letter:

 _Severus,  
The girl is yours!  
Come find me.  
Lily._

He apparently hoped you would think she was referring to herself if you inquired and heard the Potters had gotten a son. She told me then that she had become afraid of James. She still loved him and knew he was only acting this way because he was hurt and jealous but she dared not speak to any of their friends because she knew most of them to be more loyal to James than her and so she remained silent, hoping that you would appear. You hadn't by the time she got to me. She told me she had gone to the friend and found the letter had in fact not been sent and was informed that you were dead."

" _What?_ " was all Snape could say. Minerva was starring at Petunia like she had grown antlers.

"I don't think we need to guess to know who that 'friend' was," mumbled McGonagall and gave Snape a knowing look.

"She told me she didn't believe it and that she had handed him another letter with instructions that should you ever return and turn out alive that letter would be delivered. She told me she had written in the letter that you should come to me and that I would then explain her situation to you for she didn't have much time to explain in the letter as she wrote it right then and there. Until then she said I was to keep her secret because she was afraid of having the child taken from her. That was the last time I saw her. I waited for you to show but when you never did, eventually I assumed you were truly dead and Lily had been mistaken. Wait, let me just get you something!"

Petunia suddenly rose and flew out of the room and up the stairs. Severus was trembling. This couldn't be true! Petunia was delirious! The world had gone mad! He suddenly felt a hand on his arm and flinched. Minerva was looking at him.

"Severus, I don't know what to say..." she began but then Petunia reappeared with an old dusty box.

"Here," she said pulling letter out of the box. "This arrived for me some months afterwards."

She handed the letter over to Minerva who starred at it for a while before she silently handed it to Snape. He recognized it as parchment and his heart jumped once he spotted the soft cursive writing on it. Lily's handwriting.

 _Tuney.  
Don't be alarmed but remember that thing I told you about?  
I need you to keep it secret unless he shows up.  
I know he's alive. Tell no one but him.  
It's important! No one must know.  
I've recently found my trust has been misplaced.  
Promise me, Tuney!  
Love Lily._

"Imagine my surprise to find Harry on my doorstep later on. But I kept my promise to her and to you people. You never showed of course and I only became more convinced she was mistaken. There that's all I know! Now are you taking her or what?"

"That hardly explains everything," mumbled McGonagall as she rose and Snape got up as well.

"Minerva, it's not true! It can't be! Potter is James' child. He... _She_ looks just like him!"

"You heard Mrs Dursley. James changed her appearance. I can't say I'm happy with this, Severus, I truly can't but this needs to be sorted out! I certainly hope Albus returns shortly – there's a few questions I'd like to ask him as well!"

"So what are you going to do? Simply change Harry Potter's identity overnight?" sneered Snape.

"No. I think we had best wait for Albus to decide what to do about the public. For now, I had better go and speak to Harry. Wait down here for me."

* * *

It wasn't fair! That was all Harry could think over and over again as she sat curled up on her bed. Why did this have to happen to her? Someone from Hogwarts had actually come down to see her and while she had been terrified to find Snape in her bedroom, as soon as she saw McGonagall she had dared to hope that maybe, just maybe they could help her.

When aunt Petunia had stopped playing the game and even admitted that they were pretending she had been over the moon! Was she finally allowed to stop pretending to be someone else? But no! No sooner had she gotten her hopes up before Petunia had started playing another game! And this one was much worse than the first! It was a game. At least Harry hoped it was.

She wanted to scream and kick the walls until they came down. The professors would leave later on and then Harry would be left to deal with the Dursleys after having caused them to stop playing the game. It wasn't going to go well. She had been sitting there for quite some time before someone knocked on her door.

"Harry? May I come in?" It was professor McGonagall's voice.

Harry shuffled over and opened the door. The elderly witch sat down on the bed and gestured for Harry to join her.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, professor," she lied.

"I know this must be quite a shock for you but I want you to know that you've done nothing wrong."

Harry nodded. She agreed even though she wasn't so sure the Dursleys would agree.

"It's not true what my aunt says," Harry suddenly said. "She pretends a lot."

"Hmm," said McGonagall. "Harry, she certainly told us an interesting tale and she did provide proof as well. I would like you to come downstairs with me so we may discuss it."

"No! I mean... Professor! It's not true! I'm not... He's not..."

"Your father?" McGonagall supplied.

"Yes, that! And... He hates me anyway!"

"Hmm... Harry, I'm sure he doesn't. I know it's hard, but it is possible. Professor Snape knew your mother very well. And we would like to check and see."

"You mean you can find out? How?" Harry asked.

She felt oddly opposed to the notion of checking. She was afraid of what the result might be.

"Come downstairs with me and we will discuss it," said McGonagall and held out her hand.

Harry hesitated but eventually took it and followed the professor down the stairs.

* * *

Severus Snape was trying his best to pace a hole in the living room carpet. Petunia Dursley sat in her armchair and glared at him – having given up trying stop him. Severus did not stop until he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. He looked up at McGonagall but as soon as his eyes fell on the dark haired child behind her his eyes narrowed and he spoke:

"I want a test! Give me some time to brew the potion and I'll prove I'm not..."

"Severus!" Minerva snapped and held up a hand to stop him.

"By all means insist on the potion but not yet! There's a much simpler way to find out!"

"What?" Severus said as he raised an eyebrow.

"Petunia claims James glamoured the girl. We'll see if there is one by attempting to remove it!"

Severus sighed. That seemed logical enough. Why hadn't he thought of that? He wanted this to be over! He couldn't be connected to the Potter brat! He just couldn't! _That arrogant, troublesome little... No, concentrate!_ When the two of them reached the bottom of the stairs he stepped into the small hallway to meet them and instantly raised his wand at the girl. She immediately flinched and her eyes widened in fear but before Minerva could react, Severus barked:

" _Finite Incantatem!_ "

Nothing. There was no change in the child – if one disregarded that she was now curled up in a ball on the floor.

"Severus! What on earth do you think you're doing!" cried Minerva.

Snape was still letting the feeling of relief wash over him. However, there was something else there too. Loss? No! Surely!

"You have your proof! She's not mine!" he defended himself.

"Did you really think it would be that easy? Let me try!" said Minerva and slowly raised her wand at the child who was now looking up at her fearfully.

"I will not hurt you, Harry," the professor said reassuringly. " _Finite Incantatem!_ "

Still nothing happened. Severus sighed but Minerva only raised her eyebrow.

" _Detego!_ "

Severus blinked. Trick of the light surely. He could have sworn. Was Potter _shrinking?_ It wasn't by much but the child had definitely gotten shorter.

" _Detego! Finite Incantatem! Detego!_ "

Something was definitely happening! If it wasn't for Lily's eyes still looking up from the floor and the scar, Severus would never have guessed that this was Potter! The girl's hair was the same length but a darker, colder shade of black and it lay completely flat on her head. She was slightly smaller. The girl's eyebrows and lips were thinner and her cheekbones were higher. Her nose was different as well. It was a bit more pointy and narrower. Severus couldn't speak. He had been relieved to find the counter spells not working but had also felt a strange pang of... something else. Now he felt horrified, angry and... relieved... still.

"Oh, my goodness!" gasped Minerva.

"What?" cried Potter fearfully.

A loud gasp could be heard and Severus finally became aware of Petunia standing in the doorway with her mouth open. Minerva quickly transformed a picture into a mirror and handed it to the girl. She starred into it for few moments before tears started running down her cheeks.

"I can't do this!" was all Severus Snape said before he turned and fled through the front door.

He needed to get off the property – away from the bloodwards to apparate but he never made it that far. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned, wand raised, to find Minerva there.

"Severus! Stop! Think for a moment!"

"I don't have to deal with this!"

"Yes, you do! Young man, I never knew you to run away from your responsibilities!" said McGonagall sternly.

"She is _not_ my responsibility!" snapped Severus.

"She most certainly is! You had no objection to the process of actually creating her! I suggest you deal with the result of your actions!"

"This proves nothing!"

"Honestly, Severus! You're either dense or too stubborn to admit she's yours and I know too well which it is – and I'm telling you now that will do you no good! Insist on a potion if you like! If that'll put your mind to rest! But you're not going anywhere!"

"She's _not_ mine! I could never have fathered that insufferable brat!"

"She looks a lot like you."

Severus huffed and crossed his arms in defiance.

"I need to return to Hogwarts and speak to Poppy. I'll see if she can get that potion somewhere. I need you to remain here or at least nearby to watch her until I return!"

"You're out of your mind!"

"I am _not_!" she replied in her watch-your-attitude voice.

"I certainly hope Albus is back once I return, but if he isn't I'll need to enlist Flitwick's help. It's important that we maintain at least the appearance of normality until Albus returns and decides what we are to do! Since I dare not remove her from the bloodwards without his permission I need you to watch over her! I don't trust those people one bit!"

"I'm not going back in there!" sneered Snape.

"As you wish! Then camp in the front yard but if I find you left her alone I'll hunt you down and drag you back here by the ear, Severus!" the old witch threatened.

"I'll be back as soon as I can! At the very latest by lunchtime tomorrow!"

" _Tomorrow?_ " repeated Severus.

"Intend to speak to some old friends and see if any of them knows how to contact Flamel!"

With that the witch turned and marched off the property before Severus could say a word. He turned and glared at the house. Very well. He _would_ stay in the garden. There was no way he was going near Potter!

 **TBC**


	11. Dinner at the Dursleys'

**A/N: I own and make nothing!**

* * *

"Get up!"

The command was simple enough but somehow Harry's body wouldn't obey. She was shaking like a leaf and emotions she didn't understand whirled around in her head. Her vision was blurry. Then she felt Petunia's skinny fingers grasp her arm and forcibly pull her to a standing position.

"Go upstairs! Now!" she heard her aunt say.

A firm shove followed and Harry snapped out of it and made for the stairs. She could hear Petunia follow her. She reached her room and flung herself on the bed.

"Don't try anything. I'll let you know when you're needed."

The tone was harsh but there was something else in Petunia's voice – concern? She heard the door close and the awful sound of the locks clicking before her aunt's footsteps moved down the stairs. She lay still for a while and listened carefully. Both professors had stormed out of the house and Harry had felt her heart sink. They left her! Here! What was she going to do? She had sat still on the floor for several minutes, waiting, _hoping_ that professor McGonagall would return. She had said it wasn't Harry's fault had she not? But her aunt had been right after all. As soon as they saw, as soon as they _truly_ saw what she was – they ran from her as fast as their legs could carry them.

Harry let her hand brush through her hair. It felt differently. It wasn't as coarse as before, it was silky. There was that too! She sat up and looked into the transfigured mirror she was still holding. She however still couldn't see clearly so she pulled off her glasses and dried her eyes. She blinked. She could see everything perfectly clearly – and she wasn't wearing glasses. She suddenly realized the she had previously been looking over the rim of her glasses without realizing. What was happening? She looked back down at the mirror. She recognized the girl in there instantly when McGonagall had given it to her. She had seen the same face in that mirror at Hogwarts. But she had been wrong. It was no sister. It was her! And apparently it was her true face. She reached up and touched the tip of her nose. Her eyes were red and her cheeks still moist from the tears. She didn't dislike this face. No. But she hated it in a different way – because it was her true self but not the one she had imagined.

And there was another matter entirely. McGonagall had said that it was possible for Petunia's words to be true and that Harry's changed appearance was proof that supported her story. Harry was willing to believe that this hidden face was real – after all it had somehow fixed her eyesight. It didn't really bother her that she didn't look the same! Well, she wasn't completely different. She still had her mother's eyes and she was happy about that! It was her aunt's claims that Harry's father wasn't James that caused the tears.

She had always tried to imagine what her parents would be like. James was strong, brave and good. Lily was beautiful and loving. They were both really good at everything and everybody liked them. And they loved her. And they were sad that they couldn't be with her. And if they hadn't died she would have been happy all the time! The truth was that she had only been pretending and it hurt! Pretending was some evil thing her relatives did! She _knew_ who her parents were and what they were like! She wasn't the one pretending! But she was! She was! Because she didn't know them at all and James wasn't even her father! And her actual father was nothing like what she had imagined! No, not at all!

He hated her. She wanted to be sick. There it was. She'd believed that if her parents were alive they'd love her even if her relatives argued that they wouldn't have. They were right. Here he was, supposedly one of Harry's parents, actually alive and he _hated_ her! Well, she didn't like him either! In fact, she wanted nothing to do with him! She threw the mirror on the bed and pulled her pillow over her head. Maybe... Maybe she could just pretend this hadn't happened? After years of practice she should be pretty good at pretending by now.

* * *

Severus had taken to pacing in the front yard – not caring that he had just about destroyed a corner of the dahlia bed in doing so.

 _Blasted old cat! Who does she think she is ordering me around! No, no! Dumbledore left her in charge. Still, that doesn't excuse it! Why is she leaving me here? Why not get Poppy or stay herself?_

But he already knew the answer. It was not only the logical choice as they needed to involve as few people as possible and Poppy needed to get the potion and Minerva to get in contact with the Headmaster but her move was also cunning. In fact, Severus was worried Minerva had taken on some of Dumbledore's borderline Slytherin attributes!

It might have pleased him any other day but not when it was him who suffered from it. A small voice in the back of his mind insisted that Potter couldn't be very happy about it either but he pushed the thought aside. What was he going to do? His fingers were itching to go back in there and get Lily's letter. Partly because he wanted to assure himself it wasn't a magical forgery (though the likelihood of that was small) and partly because it was _hers_.

The memory of Lily and the last time he had seen her alive replayed in his mind. He'd claimed victimhood with Minerva but in reality he was disgusted with himself. Lily had been trying so hard to get him to see. She'd been willing to break her vow to James to save Severus' life and soul – and how had he repaid her? As soon as he realized what she was doing he should have stopped it. He hadn't because he wanted to believe it was real. He had then gone out and all but signed her over to the Dark Lord by telling him of the prophecy! Then he suddenly heard the front door open.

"Snape?" said Petunia.

" _What?_ he sneered and turned to face her.

"I thought you had left already. I... _What are you doing to my garden?!_ "

Severus glared at the woman and turned his back on her.

"Snape, either come inside or leave! I won't have you standing around in front of my house for all the neighbors to see!"

"I'm not leaving," replied Snape and moved over and sat on a small marble bench in the corner.

"And I'm not having freaks camp in my garden. How long are you going to sit there?"

"Until I leave. And don't worry about your neighbors. They won't take much notice."

Petunia huffed.

"Still in a mood, I see? Well, whatever! If you get hungry come and join us for dinner."

When Snape ignored her, she continued: "Or you can sit there and sulk. Honestly!"

And with that she disappeared inside the house – leaving Severus to his thoughts.

* * *

Harry was lying on the bed looking at the pair of glasses in her hand. Well, at least Dudley couldn't break them anymore. She was beginning to wonder what the Dursleys were going to think of the whole thing. She couldn't change back by herself so they'd have to live with her appearance. Still, it was a wonder that uncle Vernon hadn't screamed her head of yet. If she just pretended everything was normal would they play along with her? She thought Petunia might. But Vernon and Dudley? Not if they had new information to torment her with!

She crawled off the bed and crept over to the door. She placed her ear against the wood and listened. She could hear voices downstairs. They were muffled but aggressive. It sounded like two people arguing but trying to keep the volume down. It was as she expected. They definitely weren't happy about having their afternoon interrupted by nosy Hogwarts professors. It was only a matter of time now. Harry looked around her room. Where would be the best place to be discovered? Should she be curled up in the corner? Should she be standing? Should she look sad or angry they had been here or happy that they were gone? It wasn't always easy to figure it out.

She opted for simply sitting on her bed – looking as miserable as she felt. Sure enough, it wasn't long until she heard someone stomping up the stairs and fumble with the locks. Then the door flew open and a red faced Vernon stormed in.

"What did you..." he yelled but trailed off as he saw the person sitting in front of him.

His eyes widened as Harry looked up at him. Then she realized he hadn't seen her change in appearance until now. She held her breath and waited for Vernon to get over the initial shock of it.

"What did you do to yourself?" he mumbled.

"Sir, I didn't do anything! They did it!"

"Shut up!" he muttered.

She was expecting him to yell and was surprised when he didn't.

"Don't show your ugly face to me – either of them."

Then he simply turned and left – forgetting to lock the door behind him. Harry sat there stunned. She certainly hadn't expected that. But perhaps Vernon was too shocked to deal with it. She'd be ready in case he got over it. The door was open but Harry didn't dare to leave the room. Instead she stayed where she was and waited for Petunia to call her.

About half an hour later a face appeared in the doorway. Harry didn't bother to look up.

"Hey, Harry?"

Harry was lying on her stomach facing away from the door but she recognized the voice easily.

"What do you want, Dudley?"

"I just wanted to see..."

" _What?_ " said Harry angrily as she turned around on the bed to face him. "You just wanted to come see the freak show?"

Dudley stood still in the doorway with wide eyes but Harry quickly realized he hadn't paid attention to her words. He was taking in her appearance.

"T...They did that to you?" said Dudley.

"Yeah, well, they say it's what I really look like."

"They used their sticks on you?"

"Wands and yes," mumbled Harry.

There was something different in Dudley's voice. It was almost... sympathy? And then Harry realized why that might be. Of course Dudley was remembering the pig tail he'd been given last summer. Dudley's borderline civility didn't last long though.

"It's a shame the doctor's can't cut your face off. _You'll_ be stuck with it!"

At that Harry turned around and ignored her cousin. The boy was about to walk over and shove her a bit to provoke a proper reaction but just then he heard his name called from downstairs and left.

* * *

A few hours had passed and Snape was running out of ideas. He had been alternating between sitting on the small marble bench glaring at any passersby and pacing the daisy bed into a mess. The lilies he did not go near, however, he'd soon run out of daisies to destroy and then the pansies were in for it. It was the best he could do without punching walls and shooting hexes.

 _Control, Severus, control. Calm down. Think. Check your defenses. Do not let this control you. Control the situation._

He stopped his pacing and stood for a moment with his eyes closed. He became aware of the warm evening air and the many scents around him. A sound reached his ears. The sound of conversation. He opened his eyes and looked through the windows of number four. In there was the dining room and he could see Vernon Dursley and his son already seated at the table. The man's face was still red but the son seemed to have recovered well. Petunia was nowhere to be seen – probably in the kitchen. Just then a door opened and Potter entered the room. She walked over to the cabinet and removed a small stack of plates and began setting the table. The child didn't join the conversation of the others and as soon as she was finished she disappeared through the door.

Severus wasn't quite sure what is was but there was something in the manner of the girl that both upset and unnerved him. She seemed calm and worked almost robotically. Snape remembered that only a few hours earlier she had been a crying mess. This girl seemed completely unaffected. Severus felt a stab of something in his chest but ignored it to focus on his annoyance that the brat could so simply brush off what he even now had trouble managing. Even stranger, the girl wasn't wearing her glasses so how could she see what she was doing?

Perhaps joining them for dinner wouldn't be such a bad idea after all? He was definitely curious as to what was going on with Potter and he would go mad if he stayed an hour more in that flowerinfested abomination the Dursleys called a front yard. Having made up his mind he ventured up to the front door and knocked. After a while the door opened and there was Petunia.

"Ah! Have you decided to... _What have you done to my daisies?!_ Good God! They will have to be replanted! Get in before your ruin anything else!"

She moved aside to allow Snape to enter.

"I think it's rather an improvement!" growled Snape as he passed her and found himself in the hall once again. Petunia took one last glance at the destruction and closed the door.

"I suppose I might use the opportunity to persuade Vernon to get Hydrangeas."

Severus glared at the oblivious woman before following her into the dining room. As soon they entered Vernon rose. His mustache vibrated with anger as he lay eyes on Snape.

"Petunia are you out of your _mind?_ If you think I'll sit down with one of them you're..."

"What would you have me do? It's either this or have him in front of the house for all the world to see!" said Petunia.

"Well, I'm not having it! You get off my property now!" roared Vernon and moved towards Snape.

The wizard swiftly flicked his wrist and his wand fell out of his sleeve and into his hand. He raised the wand and pointed it right between Vernon's eyes.

"Sit down, Dursley! I don't like this anymore than you do! As it is I cannot leave this place until my colleague returns! I suggest you make this a bit more bearable for the both off us and be quiet!"

Vernon resigned and sat. Dudley had frozen completely and was starring at Snape's wand.

"Harry!" cried Petunia as she gestured for Snape to take the fourth chair at the table.

Soon the girl appeared in the doorway. Her eyes went wide and she almost dropped the bowl of potatoes in her hands when she saw who was sitting at the dining table.

"Snape?"

" _Professor_ Snape!" he corrected, agitation rising as he was once again confronted with the child who looked... something not completely unlike _him_.

"Harry, we have a guest," said Petunia and took her seat.

The girl quickly walked over to the cabinet and got a plate, a glass and cutlery for the new addition. She carefully moved over to Snape's side and placed the objects on the table in front of him. It was then Snape raised an eyebrow. The table was still one plate short. He looked up at the girl who had otherwise kept her eyes on the plate and momentarily locked eyes with her as she raised her eyes as she walked away. The girl looked almost afraid. Had she noticed the mistake and was worried he'd tell her off for it? Potter quickly shuffled out of the room and returned shortly with a plate of steaks and a bowl of salad. Severus paused and wondered how on earth the girl could balance it all – it looked much to heavy for someone her size. He waited for the cousin to rise and assist her but it didn't happen. In fact none of the Dursleys even looked at her.

Petunia seemed to be lost in thought, the boy was eyeing the steaks and the uncle was gritting his teeth and glaring at Snape. Potter managed to place both objects on the table and then left the room again only to return with greens and a pitcher of orange juice. She was walking very slowly because she was also holding a bottle of wine under her arm. Once she arrived at the table she carefully got the pitcher onto the table first and then safely placed the other two objects there as well. The cousin and the uncle had already helped themselves to two steaks each and Petunia was picking at some salad. Severus was sitting there in silence trying to make sense of what he was seeing. Locking the child in her room he might have been able to overlook if it proved to be as he suspected a one time mistake by a frustrated uncle and aunt who had finally snapped at the little monster they themselves had indulged. Something was not quite right.

Severus scowled at the Dursley males who were eating like they hadn't had a decent meal in ages yet that certainly wasn't the case. It was commonplace for children to help out setting tables and such but Severus couldn't quite understand why the cousin wasn't helping. Was this some kind of punishment for the cake incident? He was brought back from his thoughts by a voice at his side.

"What?" he snapped.

"Oh... I'm sorry, sir! I was just.. Would you like some wine, sir?"

Something was _definitely_ going on! Snape had never known Potter to be this polite. And the manner in which she said it! She appeared almost subdued.

"No, thank you," Severus mumbled as he studied the girls face.

What was that? There was certainly some nervousness in her face but it soon relaxed into that strange unaffected stare. The girl nodded and turned to leave the room.

"Potter!" he called meaning to question her about the lack of glasses.

The girl stopped immediately but did not turn. Just then Petunia seemed to return from whatever place her mind had wandered off to and she looked from Snape to the girl and back again.

"Harry! Come and sit down now!"

The girl turned and looked at her aunt.

"But..."

"No, buts! You will sit with the rest of us and eat! I don't care if you don't want to or if you feel you have something better to do! It's the polite thing to do!"

"Eh," said the girl as she made her way back to the cabinet and got out a plate for herself. Severus looked around and realized that there was no fifth chair but Petunia had gotten up from her seat and went into the kitchen to return with a stool. The matter of the glasses was now quite forgotten as Severus studied their behavior. The girl sat down between Petunia and the cousin. After a while they were all eating – more or less. Vernon Dursleys and his son were devouring half the table, Petunia was eating her dinner in a daze, Snape was calmly eating Petunia's slightly overcooked creations and Potter was starring at the plate and poking the greens with her fork. Snape kept watching the child for the duration. The girl didn't like beans? If she considered herself above eating the food why was she not throwing a fit and demanding something else? Was it because he was there? A small voice in the back of his mind said it might be something else but he wasn't listening.

* * *

 _Why is he still here?_

When Harry had eventually been called downstairs she almost thought she could handle it. All she had to do was pretend nothing had happened! Well, the not needing glasses part was a welcomed feature but other that she would do her best to act normally. To her surprise Vernon was merely steaming and Dudley seemed content to be rid of the professors - _and_ their wands. Her aunt and uncle had argued earlier, that much was clear to her and for now it would be best if she didn't provoke Vernon in any way. Her aunt had finished preparing dinner and asked Harry to set the table which she had done just as she usually did but then...

Then _he_ had arrived! What was he doing back here? And where was McGonagall? Harry didn't think it could be much worse. She would honestly have preferred Voldemort to Snape as a dinnerguest right now! She could do this! She had to do this! Even with the great bat around she had to do her best and pretend. Fortunately he didn't say much other than correcting her when she entered a declining wine. He seemed distant too. Where had he been and why was he here now? Harry couldn't wait to get out of the room so it was with relief she left to go to the kitchen. She never ate with the Dursleys. She had always waited in the kitchen for them to finish. Then she would clear the table and eat whatever might be left. This was mostly salad or greens.

But when Snape called her, her aunt had suddenly decided that she should join them. Harry wasn't quite sure why but her aunt was distant. Harry knew what that meant. She only ever grew this quiet when she was nervous or worried. Now she was sitting here with no appetite at all. Not only was the situation too strange for words but Snape's presence was enough in itself to put her off her food. Why did he keep looking at her?

"Potter," a familiar low voice said from across the table.

Petunia immediately stopped eating and watched them. Harry kept her eyes on her plate. She hadn't reacted yet. Maybe if she did nothing he would decide not to speak to her again?

"Potter, look at me when I'm speaking to you," Snape said with his usual annoyance.

Harry slowly raised her eyes and looked at the man. His face was the usual emotionless mask. It was so terribly strange to see that face in these surroundings however.

"Where's McGonagall?" she blurted out before she could stop herself.

" _Professor_ McGonagall is at Hogwarts, I presume," said Snape as he rolled his eyes.

"Oh..." Harry said. "Then why are you here... Sir?"

"Because, Potter, someone has to keep an eye on you until she returns. Now stop these questions and answer me: Why did you drop a cake on your uncle's guests?"

Of course! Of course Snape would care only about that! What, was he here to prevent her from doing it again? Not to mention that it _wasn't_ even her?

"Because she's an ungrateful, disrespectful little..." growled Vernon.

"I am well aware of her disrespectful attitude and her love of rulebreaking, I assure you, however I would like to know _why_ she did it, when she knew full well she was breaking the law and the ministry would know!" Snape sneered at her uncle.

Harry could feel the anger rising inside her. Snape and the Dursleys between them had just about ruined her life and seen to it that she had no true safe haven and to have both parties here to torment her was just the worst thing imaginable! She wasn't afraid of McGonagall finding out about the Dursleys hating her but Snape... Snape would only use it against her. The man was still looking at her and his eyes were slowly narrowing as he grew more and more impatient with her. Well, if he wanted an answer he would get one.

"I _told_ you already. I DIDN'T DO IT!" Harry sneered.

She was halfway expecting Vernon to get up and throw her in the cupboard or for Petunia to sneer insults at her for being an ungrateful liar. Neither of them had the chance to react however, because the words had not been off her lips for long before she heard a loud bang as Snape slammed his palm onto the table.

"You do _not_ speak to me in that manner, Potter! If this is how you behave at home I'm hardly surprised your relatives are at their wits end. It's quite clear you have never been taught respect for your elders!"

Harry just starred at Snape with her mouth open. This was the Snape she knew. One she could deal with but it was still very unsettling to know her relatives were witnessing this. She'd been so concerned with Snape using her relatives against but what of the other way around?

"It's hardly our fault she's this way - seeing as she's _your_ brat!" growled Vernon, who had not failed to notice the hidden insult to his child-rearing abilities.

If anything Snape just looked far more furious and stood up. Harry decided she had probably eaten enough by now and that now would be a good time to seek refuge in her room and she stood as well. However instead of beginning an argument with Vernon, Snape exhaled and continued as if the comment had not been made.

"Where is your wand?"

"What?" Harry replied.

"Your wand. That stick you attempt to do spells with, Potter!" Snape smirked.

"Eh... It's in my... I mean it's in the cupboard."

"Get it," Snape demanded.

"What? Why?"

Harry trembled. Was he going to take her wand away? Was he going to break it?

"Get your wand, Potter! If you claim you did not use a levitation spell, we shall either prove or disprove it. Now, _get your wand!_ "

"Oh," Harry replied. She sighed with relief but then another thought entered her mind.

"I can't, professor!"

Snape glared at her.

"And why is that? Something to hide?"

"No, sir! It's just.. It's in the cupboard," she replied and pointed to the stairs.

Snape looked in the direction she had indicated and spotted the stairs through the door. He stepped over to the door and Harry followed. On the door to the cupboard was a large padlock. Harry watched Snape's face and saw him raise an eyebrow. She half expected him to make some comment about her wand being locked away but instead he raised his wand and unlocked it before returning to the dining room where two Dursleys were watching them in silence. Dudley was still eating. Harry carefully opened the door. On her old bed lay her school trunk. Uncle Vernon had locked it in there on the day she returned. She quickly opened it, got out her wand and closed the door. She then walked back into the dining room with it. Snape stood there like a pillar of black marble and the Dursleys were watching her like hawks. Snape reached out his hand, palm up and Harry shuffled over and handed over her wand.

"Petunia, I can understand why you might lock away Potter's wand after what happened yesterday but she will be needing the books as she is expected to do homework – of course I am well aware it will be done at the last minute if at all but none the less."

"Oh," said Petunia with no emotion. Harry knew perfectly well that she didn't care at all whether Harry could do her homework – in fact they were more likely to prevent her from doing it. Of course she didn't correct Snape either when he falsely assumed the trunk had only been locked away for a day. Snape pulled out his own wand and pointed it at Harry's.

" _Prior Incantato!_ " Snape said firmly.

The introduction of wands into the conversation had finally stopped Dudley eating and the boy was now trembling in his seat while Petunia looked mesmerized and Vernon looked disgusted. Snape suddenly looked up and gave Harry a curious look.

"It seems.. No levitation spell has been recently made by this wand."

"She did it with her hands! We all saw it!"

"I WAS TRYING TO CATCH IT BEFORE THE HOUSE ELF COULD..." yelled Harry, quite fed up with the accusation.

"SILENCE!" thundered Snape to the effect that Harry instantly froze and Dudley fell off his chair.

"I've never known an eleven year old who could do intentional wandless magic. Since you insist on not telling the truth we will leave it there."

"But I didn't.."

"Enough!" Snape snapped and handed Harry's wand over. "I suggest you put that back where it was."

Harry glared at him and returned the wand to the cupboard. Now it was her turn to ask questions!

 **TBC**


	12. It comes in the darkness

**A/N: I own and make nothing**

* * *

Severus watched the girl lock the wand away. He was puzzled to say the least. Everything pointed to accidental magic – but then why wouldn't the girl simply say so? Why all this nonsense about a house elf? House elfs didn't just show up at random mugglehouses and drop cakes. He suddenly became very aware of the Dursleys' presence and he left the dining room and entered the living room. Where was Minerva? He suddenly stopped in the middle of the room and turned as he heard footsteps pursuing him. There was Potter and she was standing there with a much more confident posture. Snape opened his mouth to speak but the girl beat him to it:

"Sir, how long will you be here?"

Snape frowned.

"Until professor McGonagall returns."

"Well, yes, but when will she do that?"

"At the very latest tomorrow but I am expecting her tonight," he replied.

" _Tomorrow?_ " the girl repeated with wide eyes and she continued: "I don't think you need to stay here. Nothing will happen. I won't do any magic."

"Potter, I don't know how it escaped you but this has little to do with your wishes."

"Of course not. Nobody cares what I want!" said the girl and threw her hands in the air.

"What _do_ you want then? And you had better be serious about this because I have no patience for nonsense tonight!" sighed Snape.

"I want to talk about it," mumbled Potter.

Talk? _Talk?_ Snape considered it. He certainly didn't want to discuss the situation with the girl but when he thought about it – no one really had discussed it with her. Had Minerva even explained anything? He hoped not. He certainly didn't want Potter to know his own story – the part he _did_ admit to. Still, if it would reassure the girl he couldn't really deny her a few answers could he? At the very least that would stop her asking questions. Severus raised his wand and the door closed and locked. He cast a nonverbal silencing charm as well since the Dursleys had seemed to enjoy the show at dinner a little too much.

"Very well then. Why don't you sit down?" he said and took a seat in one of the armchairs.

The girl hesitantly sat down on the floral couch. She was clearly not expecting him to agree. Severus took a moment to look at her. Her clothes were well worn and the T-shirt at least was much too large for her. She folded her hands in her lap and kept her eyes on her knees. Snape considered what he was seeing. He knew the Dursleys weren't in any financial distress, so why was she not wearing newer clothes? He made a mental note to question Petunia about it or at least let Minerva do it as soon as she arrived. It was best after all if she was the one to deal with it.

"What would you like to discuss?" he asked calmly.

"Do you believe it?" said a small voice.

"What?" he said even though he knew what she was referring to.

"McGonagall said that there was a chance that we were... you know and that this," she said as she pointed to her face. "That it is proof of it."

Snape considered what to do. He himself was conflicted. He most certainly didn't want it to be true. _But why did you feel saddened when you thought you had proven there was no glamour?_ He certainly didn't think it was true. _But you can't really deny the evidence points in the other direction, can you?_ And if it were true he still wouldn't have anything to do with her! _Wouldn't you?_ It would be much better to make that clear to the child at once! _Is it her you are trying to convince?_

"I... I don't know."

 _Now where on earth did that come from?_ He had intended to tell the child that he knew it to be false and that she shouldn't think of it as anything more than her aunt rambling but somehow those were not the words that flew out of his mouth.

"So, it's possible then?"

The girl was looking right at him. Severus felt he would melt into a stain on the chair under that gaze. It was Lily's eyes – no longer in James' face. She looked a bit more like Lily now, Snape noted. Not much, but that tiny bit strengthened the power of her eyes. When Snape didn't answer she clearly took it as confirmation.

"So... You and mum?" she continued as her eyes widened.

"I don't believe I need to answer such questions," Snape sneered as he snapped out of it.

Rather he didn't want to answer that question. How could he explain _that_ to an eleven year old girl? He was already regretting agreeing to this. The conversation was making him more than a little uncomfortable.

"But.. You? How?"

"There are things I cannot discuss with you. I expect you to respect that and drop the topic. Is there anything else you wish to talk about?"

"Did you love her?"

Severus paused. He wanted to shout: _Yes! YES! A thousand times yes!_ But he couldn't.

"We were very close at one time," he explained.

The girl looked at him, clearly unsatisfied with his avoidance. She remained deep in thought for a moment before she grimaced. She then shook her head slightly as if she was shaking something off.

"So what do we do? What's going to happen?" she asked.

"I don't know what you intend to do but _I_ am going to wait for professor McGonagall to arrive and then you will have _her_ to question."

It was completely unfair that he was placed in this situation! What was he supposed to do? He could hardly tell the girl what he felt! Minerva would skin him!

 _Listen, you little brat! I know it's a shock to you but it's as great a shock to me. I don't know if you're mine and I don't care because I don't want to have anything to do with you! I will never have anything to do with you! I don't care what the result of the test we'll do will say! I wish I'd never met you! You've made my life miserable from the day I heard you were coming to Hogwarts! And if I had not promised Albus Dumbledore of all people that I would protect you and you were not Lily's child I would walk out of here and never set eyes on you again!_

No, he couldn't say that. Severus closed his eyes and ignored the little voice that said: _You don't mean that._ He was angry, he knew that. A bad temper sort of ran in the family and Severus had learned to suppress it into the more controlled foul mood he was so well known for. This was why he wasn't screaming those words at the child right now. That, and they reminded him of someone he wished to forget. He had to wonder though, was it his anger talking? He'd tried to be civil with her! He really had! But she kept reminding him that she was still that child he had met a year ago.

That was at least the best reason he had. What could he possibly tell her? Considering her strange behavior after the revelation she was clearly coping with this badly. Imagine how she would act if she knew the entirety of Petunia's story. Severus sighed and opened his eyes. Life isn't fair.

* * *

Harry was somewhere between disbelief and disgust! Was she really supposed to believe that her mother would ever like Snape? But he'd said that. And there had been no hint of sarcasm or glee in his voice as he said it. So had they simply known each other well or were they ever friends? And even worse, if Snape admitted there was a possibility had they ever been more than friends? Harry felt like she needed to be sick. No, she shouldn't think about that! Had McGonagall not said _possibility?_ Had Snape not said he was in doubt? So the only person claiming it to be true was her aunt and Harry knew better than most that her aunt lied more often than not! And McGonagall had mentioned some sort of proof? Where was that? She certainly hadn't seen any!

Harry raised her hand to her face and absentmindedly bit the tip of her index finger. How much did she really want to know?

"Is there a way to be sure?" she mumbled.

"Kindly remove your fingers from your mouth when you're speaking, Potter! And yes, there is, we shall do that when possible."

Harry felt the same strange feeling at the sound of that as she had when McGonagall told her about the other test. She was afraid of what the answer would be.

"Now you might return the favor and answer a question of mine. Why are you not wearing your glasses?" Snape said and Harry looked up to find him studying her.

"Eh.. I don't have to. I mean... After McGonagall... _Professor_ McGonagall," she explained, correcting herself when Snape frowned at her. "After she changed me I couldn't really see anything and I thought it was because I was... But then I took my glasses off. I didn't even notice earlier when I looked over the rim that I could see! Do you think she fixed my eyes?"

"Hmm.. Potter, there are spells that can improve eyesight at little and they are helpful with smaller problems but someone as nearsighted as you were? No, that cannot be done."

Snape looked deep in thought and Harry felt like he was looking right through her as if she was a ghost. It was rather annoying. He clearly knew more than he was telling her but Harry wasn't going to push her luck when she was locked in a living room alone with Snape complete with a silencing spell on the door. In number 4 Privet Drive no one can you hear you scream she mused and smirked.

"If you change me back will I need glasses again?"

"Do you wish to change back?"

"No. I don't know. Maybe. I don't mind either way. But at least like this I can see. And my hair isn't messy!" Harry replied.

Just then they heard a tapping on the window. Harry's eyes shot up and saw a big brown owl on the other side. Snape quickly got up and opened the window to let the owl in. It had a letter tied around its leg and Snape removed the scroll and unrolled it.

"What is it?" asked Harry but Snape remained silent as he read.

* * *

 _Dear Severus  
I know you were expecting me to come this evening  
but I'm afraid that will not be possible.  
Since I left you I have been writing and floocalling  
a number of old acquaintances and I have high hopes  
of finding a way to Flamel. I will be spending most of  
tomorrow continuing my search but I will come at noon  
as I promised you. I do hope you are feeling better!  
I should mention, that Poppy has been able to get  
hold of a paternity potion through a friend at  
St. Mungo's and I will be bringing it tomorrow.  
It was my intention to bring Poppy along  
but I told her of our findings and... Well, Severus,  
she didn't take it very well. I believe a little time  
will help her get over the worst of the shock.  
Poor thing has been worrying herself to bits  
after we left. Keep Harry save and give her my best!_

 _Minerva McGonagall_

Severus reread the letter twice. His hands were clutching it so tightly his nails tore the parchment. How dare she! What was he? Potter's babysitter? No, this didn't sound promising at all! He had been hoping to escape the Dursley residence tonight but now he was expected to stay! And what was worse – Minerva's comments about the next day were ominous to say the least. She very clearly stated that she would be coming and leaving – not that she would take over from him. Did that mean she was no longer suspicious of the Dursleys or..? He paused when he suddenly felt a tug on his sleeve. He looked down to see the girl standing there.

"Who is it from?" the girl asked quietly.

"Professor McGonagall," he muttered.

Without further explanation he turned and undid the spells placed on the door. As soon as the door flew open it revealed three startled Dursleys who were likely either attempting and failing to listen in or wondering why the magical people had barricaded themselves in the living room. Knowing Petunia, Severus imagined she was worried about what he might do to her furniture and not what he might do to her niece. The boy on the other hand almost looked relived when he saw Potter. Then he took one look at Snape's scowl and moved to stand behind his father.

"Oh, Snape... We were just wondering," began Petunia.

"I'm sure you were," replied Snape, not really caring what she was about to say.

"I'm afraid I have some rather _distressing_ news," he continued.

He didn't care two knuts if his presence was an inconvenience to the Dursleys but this certainly was an inconvenience to himself and that was a grievance indeed. Petunia looked at him with wide eyes and Vernon was watching him with suspicion.

"What? What did she say?" cried a voice behind him but he ignored the girl.

"It would appear my colleague will not be arriving until tomorrow. I will have to trespass on your _hospitality_ a bit longer," he sneered.

"You're staying? Overnight?" Petunia mumbled.

"He's not! I'm sick of this! We've been patient enough!" growled Vernon.

Severus flicked out his wand before the man could advance on him.

"Mr Dursley, I've had a long day and quite frankly if you wish to provoke me, be my guest! I wouldn't mind relieving some tension!"

Vernon fumed but Petunia placed her hand on his arm. Then Potter suddenly stepped close.

"It's okay. You can stay in my room. I'll just... I'll just stay in my old room," she said, the first part meant for Snape and the second for Petunia, who nodded her consent.

"Help me in the kitchen, Harry."

Then she turned and gave Vernon a look which Severus couldn't quite decipher. Instead he turned to face the girl.

"Potter, where do you keep quills and ink?"

"In my trunk... Oh! I'll get it!" she replied and ran to the cupboard before remembering that it was once again locked. Snape raised his wand and unlocked it at a distance which was possible because the Dursleys fled from the doorway as fast as they could. The girl rummaged through the cupboard for a bit before she pulled out a small stack of parchment, ink and a quill. She returned and placed it on the coffee table. Snape picked up the quill and noticed that the tip clearly had been chewed on a bit. He shook his head at this. That was no way to treat school supplies. As Potter left to join her aunt he sat down and began penning a response to Minerva.

 _Minerva  
I suggest you begin worrying about  
a more permanent solution.  
I promised you to look after Potter  
but I cannot promise you will not  
find her relatives in pieces when  
you return._

 _S.S_

He quickly dried the parchment, rolled it up and attached it to the leg of the owl, which was still waiting on the windowsill. Once it had flown he closed the window and considered his next move. He knew it was unreasonable to be demanding anything of Minerva in this situation. She had enough to worry about as it was but he couldn't let his having to stay the night go without comment either. And if he made no treats to anyone's life Minerva might really start to worry about him.

* * *

It was close to 3 am. Severus was sitting on Potter's bed trying to calm his breath. He'd been pacing again and by now it had been such a long session that he'd actually become slightly winded. He had only seen Potter once since their talk when the girl had emerged from the kitchen and hurriedly said goodnight to him. He'd excused himself to Petunia and claimed he was exhausted. He truly was but he knew perfectly well he would not get any sleep. Besides it was so unnerving to be in Potter's room with the pale light from outside shining through the bars. It brought back memories of holdingcells and aurors and the black hole of guilt that had consumed him just after the war. Still that was far from the only thing on his mind. Here, in the semi-darkness he could truly hear his own thoughts. He'd been reassured when Potter claimed she had another room – mostly likely a room like her cousin's. She had simply been moved to this room after the cake incident.

Severus stood and walked to the closet and opened it. There were only a pair of shoes, three giant shirts and two pairs of trousers that were clearly to large to be Potter's. Yes, he was quite sure he was right. At least he wanted to be right. He hadn't seen all of downstairs yet so there could very well be another room there.

Thus reassured his thoughts drifted to Minerva's arrival. She would be bringing the test with her and there would be a final result. Severus didn't know what to think of that. It was terrifying and unreal, like the imminent death of a loved one. _Or the birth of one._ He found himself silently muttering that surely nothing could be proven by a potion brewed by some novice at St. Mungo's and that he couldn't be expected to trust the work of anyone but himself. But he knew that was ridiculous. The potions were not brewed at St. Mungo's but bought from Potion Masters across the country. Paternity potions were not simple concoctions and he would be able to tell any mistake in the brewing simply by looking at the finished potion. They were expensive on the market of course and not as sought after these days as they had been. St. Mungo's always had a few in their stores and if Poppy had managed to get one without too many questions being asked, he was actually rather impressed. He wondered what manner of story she had told them. There was no reason why a schoolhealer should need one.

He felt like he was going mad, trapped in this small room alone with himself. He'd been avoiding the more important thoughts up until now but he needed to distract himself. He silently crept out of the room and down the stairs. One of the steps creaked slightly but he managed to get down undetected. The ground floor seemed so peaceful without the Dursley's there. Severus stood in the hallway and looked at the front door. He rather wanted to take a walk and clear his head of the haunting thoughts. Surely, Minerva wouldn't mind him slipping out while Potter was asleep? He didn't get to finish that thought when he suddenly heard a creaking behind him. He turned around to see Potter crawling out of the cupboard. The girl was rubbing her eyes slightly and obviously tried to move quietly and she hadn't yet noticed him. Severus froze. He could feel the blood turning cold in his veins.

"Potter?" he said calmly.

"Huh.. Wha.. What?" said the girl as she looked up and saw him there.

She then covered her mouth as she realized that she had spoken out loud.

"Sir?" she whispered.

"What are you doing?"

"I... I was just going to get some water. I... I won't disturb you!" she replied as she slowly backed away.

"Lumos," Snape whispered and shone the light into the cupboard.

The girl's trunk was pushed to the back, revealing a small cot that had been hidden beneath it. Severus quickly noxed the light again.

"Potter..." the words stuck in the back of his throat. "Go up to your room and go back to sleep."

"But sir..." she began.

"I'll bring you the water," Severus said as he held up his hand to stop her talking. "Just please, do as I say for once?"

There was no malice in the last sentence. Only the exhaustion Severus felt. Still, this girl looked uncomfortable. She nodded slowly and walked up the stairs to the room Severus had just left. Snape lit the light again and examined the cupboard once more. The mattress was worn, there was a lineup of small broken toys there and a thin blanket. On the walls were small drawings made with blue crayon as well as what appeared to be several attempts at the letters of the alphabet. The most reoccurring thing however was the name _Harry_ written over and over again between the doodles. It was clear to see that they had been added during a number of years as they started out crude and eventually the penmanship improved.

Severus felt like he needed to be sick. However, his face didn't reveal that. He simply closed the door and walked into the kitchen in a daze. There he grabbed a glass and filled it with water before moving up the stairs again. When he arrived in the girl's bedroom she was under the blanket and fast asleep. _Of course! Sending me out for nothing!_ But he didn't mean that. In fact he knew himself that that was a ridiculous comment when she hadn't asked him for anything. _He_ had volunteered. He carefully placed the water on the desk. She looked to peaceful when she was sleeping. With her eyes closed and her bangs covering the scar there was nothing of her old self visible. She looked so small and fragile. How could something so small have defeated the Dark Lord? That bitter taste in his mouth still remained. He should have listened to his instincts. How could he not have noticed? This might be Potter but something would be done about this!

The reality of what he was doing caught up with him and he exited the room quietly. He made his way back downstairs and entered the living room. Snape sat down in one of the armchairs which was comfortable enough to sleep in though he had no illusions of sleep. Now as he was defenseless the thoughts he had been suppressing flooded his mind. Tomorrow they would not only prove or disprove Petunia's story but Severus would find out just how much he had failed Lily. What if? What if it was true? The thought of Lily waiting for him to help her and never seeing the day was unbearable. He would have been there for her! Whenever she called! He couldn't accept it! He would have killed Potter if he ever harmed her! No! It hurt too much to even consider it! But for the first time since Petunia had called him the girl's father he willfully admitted to himself that it was a real possibility. The odd thing was that it didn't hurt thinking _that._ The image of Lily resurfaced. The days they had spend together. The last time he saw her. And for the first time in years, Severus Snape wept.

 **TBC**


	13. A bottle of clouds

**A/N: I own and make nothing. WARNING: There is a minor violence warning for this chapter. Skip section two if this bothers you.**

* * *

 _No, don't! I already told you!" she heard the woman cry. "Told me? And I'm suppose to believe that? I'm supposed to believe anything?" replied the man. "Please! At least let me.." But the begging was cut short. "NO! I'm not letting him touch MY CHILD! He's not taking anything else! After everything he's done! After everything YOU'VE done! I cannot..." roared the other voice. "Don't do this! Can't we talk... No! At least... Listen!" Sounds of a struggle were heard through the grey clouds. "I'm through listening to you! I trusted you and you did this to me! I'm not going to let you ruin this!" The woman clearly moved closer as her voice became louder: "I can't tell you enough how sorry I am, but don't do this! It's insane!" The male followed her. "Or what? You'll run to him will you? And you'll take the baby? Don't you think I know? He'll kill you! Yes, he will! He's one of them, Lily! And you... It's disgusting!"_

Harry woke up covered in sweat and fighting to catch her breath. The nightmare was fading but the emotions remained. She fought to release herself from the blanket which she had become entangled with and finally managed to kick it partially off herself. Where was she? She rubbed her eyes and felt so terribly tired. If it wasn't too late in the day perhaps she could sleep a little more? She opened her eyes. Why was she in her new room? She could have sworn she went to bed in her cupboard? No, wait, Snape was there wasn't he? Or was that a dream? Then her eyes fell on her desk were a single glass of water stood and Harry stared at it – trying to remember what had happened. Suddenly the nightmare didn't seem as horrible anymore when she realized Snape had seen her cupboard!

* * *

One might imagine Petunia Dursley's thoughts when she went downstairs to wake Harry and have her begin breakfast and she found the cupboard empty and the living room door closed. She called out for the girl a few times as loudly as she dared, trying not to wake her husband, son and her childhood acquaintance. Curious she opened the door to the living room and entered expecting to find her niece where she wasn't allowed. Instead she froze to the spot when she saw a large black figure in one of her armchairs. Snape's eyes were wide open and dead as he starred at the empty space in front of him. He looked pale even for his usual pasty self and the dark circles under his eyes betrayed a sleepless night.

"Snape?" Petunia called in surprise.

Just then the figure flew out of the chair and turned towards her. Within seconds an ebony wand was pointed at her chest and the black eyes were once again alive and filled with rage.

" _What did you do?_ " he hissed as he advanced upon her.

Petunia raised her hands in a defensive stance and staggered backwards into the hallway until she bumped into the stairs.

"Snape! I... What are you doing?" she shrieked.

"What am I doing? What are _you_ doing? Just how long did you keep her in that cupboard?" Snape roared.

Sounds could now be heard on the first floor as people were alerted by Severus' voice. Petunia was trembling. This was exactly what they had been afraid of when Snape and the witch arrived.

"S...Severus... Please... Y...You don't understand!"

"What the bloody hell is going on!?" yelled Vernon as he thundered down the stairs in his pajamas and came upon the scene.

"Understand? _Understand?_ " hissed Snape. "Do you have any excuse? _Any_ at all? How dare you!"

"Get away from my wife!" cried Vernon as he pounced on Snape.

The taller man swiftly stepped out of the way as Vernon proceeded straight into the wall. He turned to face Snape again only to be knocked down onto the floor as Severus' fist connected with his jaw.

"Dad!" squealed the miniature whale as he ran down the stairs and Snape looked up to see him roughly pushing Potter aside as she'd made her way to the top of the staircase.

As black eyes met green the blaze of fury lessened and he stepped back from the uncle who was muttering something indistinct. The girl was wearing the same oversized shirt she had been sleeping in that night and she stood there starring at the scene. Her eyes were wide and her mouth open.

"Snape? Snape! I understand that you might be angry but you have to understand that we only did what we had to do! She was..." cried Petunia as she slid over to the cousin and prevented him from reaching his father.

"Silence! Before I do something we'll both regret!" sneered Snape. "And you," he continued as he looked over at Vernon who was now slowly rising. "You attack me again and you'll spend the rest of your life as a slug!"

He looked up to see a terrified Potter turn and run back into her room. _Oh, Merlin's beard, now you've truly messed things up, Severus! Where were your shields?_ The uncle had gotten to his feet and was glaring at Snape. His face was red and the things he was muttering completely incoherent. Snape took at moment to get his emotions under control before he spoke:

"I knew you to be a cold woman, Petunia, but I had at least hoped the years had improved you and that you would do your duty by your niece."

"My duty? _My_ duty? Weren't you listening yesterday? She was never ours to shelter! I took her in believing to be soon rid of her! But instead we were stuck with her!"

"I'm not interested in your excuses," sneered Snape.

"We did all we could! She's a freak! Worse than Lily ever was!"

Within seconds Snape's wand was pointed at Petunia's forehead. The boy screamed and ran up the the stairs and Vernon staggered towards his wife.

"Don't you _ever_ refer to her in that way," Snape hissed and added: "Or Potter."

"You come in here threatening us and we are just expected to take it?" growled Vernon.

"That would appear to be the smarter move on your part," smirked Snape.

"You can't hurt us!" cried Petunia.

"I can hurt you in ways you could not imagine!" replied Snape with an ominous calmness. "But you may reassure your idiot of a son that I have no intention of torturing _him._ You may consider this while I see to your niece."

Snape turned away from the trembling muggles and proceeded up the stairs.

* * *

Harry was rocking herself slowly. She was seated on her bed with her legs pulled up to her chest. This was all so unreal! She was pretty sure the Dursleys were going to kill her now! After all Snape had actually hit uncle Vernon! She wasn't entirely sure why they were arguing so but she knew it was about her and therefore it was her fault. What was going on? Was this because of what Petunia had said? Suddenly she heard someone outside the door.

 _Oh, no!_

But when the door opened it was neither her aunt nor her uncle. It was Snape and in fact she wasn't actually sure whether this was better or worse. He stood there in the entrance and looked her over for a moment before he nodded and closed the door behind him.

"Potter, as to what happened downstairs," he began.

"It was about me wasn't it?" she said, cutting him off.

He frowned at her for the interruption before continuing.

"Last night I found you in a cupboard. Would you like to explain to me in your own words how you came to be there?"

Harry looked away. So this was what it was all about? She hadn't been sure whether she'd dreamed that until she saw the water on her table. Why would Snape argue with her relatives over that? Sure, he'd been upset about the bars on her window but there were no bars on any windows in the cupboard. In fact she was still surprised he hadn't simply ridiculed her over it. But while both he and McGonagall had been displeased they had done nothing but voice their displeasure. This time she had actually seen Snape not only punch her uncle but keep her aunt at wandpoint.

"It's nothing," she mumbled.

"Potter. I have already seen it and I am fairly certain I already know what it is. What I want is to hear it from you."

Harry couldn't stop herself. Why did he have to keep sticking his big nose in everything? Everything was going to be so much worse after he left! The Dursleys would lock her away forever! She grabbed her pillow and hurled it across the room, missing Snape's shoulder by less than an inch.

"Just stay out of it! It's none of your business!" she cried, tears beginning to run down her cheeks.

Snape's face fell into a furious scowl but instead of hexing her he picked up the pillow and walked over to her.

"I don't believe that was necessary," he said with a low voice that sent chills down Harry's spine.

"You're making it worse," Harry sobbed and hid her face in her hands.

Snape placed the pillow next to her and sat down on the bed.

"I cannot help you if you do not tell me," he replied.

"Why? Why do you care?" cried Harry.

"If things are as they seem you live in inadequate conditions. Conditions that no child should be familiar with. Professor McGonagall will arrive at noon and I would like to be able to tell her of what I have observed with greater accuracy."

"You're going to tell her?" Harry said as she looked up at the man.

"I must. Now, you slept in the cupboard, correct?"

Harry nodded.

"Verbal answer, please."

"Yes, sir."

"And when were you moved into this room?" Snape continued.

"This summer when I came home from Hogwarts," Harry replied.

She couldn't believe she was actually saying this but if Snape was going to tell McGonagall either way the best she could do was keep him from making assumptions.

"I don't understand why you didn't know anyway. It was on the letters!" she sneered.

"Hmm," said Snape frowning slightly at her tone. "A magical quill writes the letters. Speaking of letters, why did you not reply to yours?"

"As if they would let me!" cried Harry. "I couldn't even read it!"

"Calm down, Potter! Now, that is enough for now. I suggest you get dressed and come down for breakfast. It's already 9 o'clock."

With that the man rose and left the room. Harry was left there with her mouth open. What was she supposed to make of this? She'd seen Snape more furious than ever before yet now he had seemed completely unaffected by everything? What was that all about? Harry considered this as she moved to the closet and slowly changed her close into a different version of what she had worn yesterday. Vernon _had_ attacked him. Perhaps Petunia had said something to provoke him? He couldn't have been _that_ angry over the same issue he had just discussed with such calm could he? No, he'd seemed much more annoyed with her than angry about the treatment of her! Was this another one of those situations where adults did things not because they wanted to but because they had to? He hadn't seemed thrilled about coming here but she understood why her professors had felt they had to when they'd discovered her secret. This must be such a thing. He didn't really care. He just had to do this.

* * *

Severus exhaled when the door closed behind him. He had managed to get himself under control and appear calm to the girl as he knew his emotions would only upset her further. He knew perfectly well what that she must be feeling embarrassed by this. He wouldn't have liked it any less if someone had accidentally discovered that he... No, it was much better if she told her own story. That way she could at least feel it was partly her decision.

Now he had a completely different problem to deal with – her relatives. Severus proceeded down the stairs and found that they had left the hallway. He walked into the kitchen were he found all three of them . The son clearly having dared to come down when he had been speaking to Potter. Petunia was making breakfast with vacant eyes, Vernon was sitting on a stool holding a bag of frozen peas against his chin. The boy was standing near his mother snatching bacon of a plate.

"I see you have begun," Severus mumbled, startling mother and son.

Vernon simply sneered at him but he was clearly not brave enough to attack him again. There was a smaller dining table in the kitchen which Severus assumed was in use only in the morning rush as it only had two stools. The uncle was sitting there with a cup of coffee.

"Breakfast will be ready soon," stated Petunia in a small voice.

Snape snorted at that. By the looks of it the boy ate the food at the same speed Petunia could cook it. None the less he looked over at the boy and said:

"Then I suggest you help your mother by setting the table, young Mr Dursley."

The boy grimaced and looked over to his father who seemed to ignore them all before he replied:

"No, that's Harry's job!"

"Well, today it will be yours. Your cousin did it last night," said Snape matter-of-factly.

"No! Mum! Tell him I don't have to do it!" he cried to Petunia.

"Just do it, Dudders," said Petunia in an exhausted voice.

The boy quickly left the room and Snape elegantly moved aside to avoid being trampled but to his annoyance the boy didn't head for the dining room but disappeared up the stairs instead. He wasn't really surprised that the boy did few or no chores, having seen the boy's room, but still he was astonished how the boy had just ignored his mother and fled. He turned to face the parents. They remained silent for a while and Snape had no objection to that as the less they said the less likely he was to hex them. He'd lost his temper completely this morning and he was in no way proud of that. A night of thoughts had torn down his defenses and seeing Petunia there that morning had triggered him. He should have gone about this in a controlled manner but he had felt a knot in his stomach that morning. A ball of anger that wasn't only directed towards Petunia and her husband but someone else as well. _Someone I had best not think about!_ Just then he heard footsteps on the stairs. He first thought it might be the boy having reconsidered his actions but the footsteps were much too light. He turned to find Potter coming downstairs. She was wearing clothes that weren't in any way better than those she had worn the day before. Severus frowned at that. He'd seen those clothes in the closet.

"Good morning," said the girl timidly as she entered the kitchen.

Both Dursleys ignored her but Snape returned her greeting. The girl walked over to her aunt and began helping her with the cooking. Just then Petunia paused. She glanced back at Snape who was standing there, his face an emotionless mask.

"Eh.. Harry... Maybe you shouldn't do that today," she said.

The girl looked up at her in confusion. Snape was about to say that surely it was okay for her to help but then the girl said:

"Okay, I'll set the table then."

"I've already asked your cousin to do that," said Snape.

The girl gave him a questioning look before she left the kitchen. Severus followed her into the dining room where she was taking out plates.

"You shouldn't do what has been asked of your cousin," Snape continued.

"I don't mind. Besides I always do this."

Snape decided to leave the girl to it for now. He went to sit down in the living room until Petunia called from the hallway that breakfast was ready and he heard the boy coming down the stairs. He got up and entered the dining room to find that once again the girl had set the table for four people. He wanted to point it out but no one was in there but the cousin and he wasn't much use. Vernon entered followed by Petunia and Potter who were both carrying the food. They placed it all upon the table and as the others sat Potter once again made to leave.

"Boy, go get a plate for your cousin!" demanded Snape.

The girl turned around and looked every bit as mortified as her cousin. Petunia was looking at her son with pleading eyes and her husband was glaring at his niece.

"Harry... dear... You seem to have forgotten your plate," Petunia said with sweetly.

"Oh," said the girl and moved towards the table.

"Dudley, please," Petunia continued and motioned for Dudley to obey the order.

"Mum, stop it! Why do I have to do this? And why does she suddenly get to eat with us?"

Severus nearly choked on his coffee and Petunia looked as though she was about to have a stroke. Surprisingly, the first to speak was Vernon who stood up slowly, keeping eye contact with Snape and holding up his hands.

"I'll get it. I'll get it."

Petunia waved the girl over the stool that still stood there from the night before. Snape considered carefully whether he should say something. She wasn't allowed to eat with them? He looked to Potter for confirmation but the girl was staring at the plate her uncle had placed in front of her. Snape returned his attention to the coffee. It was best to wait for Minerva.

After breakfast the girl returned to her room. Snape had considered speaking to her but she left before he could get a chance. The son left the house to meet up with some friends and Vernon relocated to the living room while Petunia cleared the table. Severus was getting impatient. He finally decided to spent the next two hour pacing in the dining room – though he was very tempted to go outside and ruin a bit more of Petunia's garden.

* * *

Shortly after noon came a knock on the front door. Severus went into the hallway and was met by Petunia who had also come to investigate. She was wearing an apron and still wet rubber gloves. She nodded at Snape before opening the door to reveal a woman in a long green coat.

"Good afternoon, Mrs Dursley, Severus!" Minerva smiled weakly.

It was quite evident that she hadn't gotten much rest either. However, the smile faded as soon as she saw Petunia's fearful face. As she entered, she glanced at Snape, hoping his face would betray something but as usual it did not.

"Minerva, will you join me in the dining room before we fetch Potter? There is something we must discuss," said Snape and Petunia saw this as her opportunity for escape.

"Indeed," agreed the witch as she saw the woman disappear into the kitchen and Minerva then followed her colleague into the dining room.

"I take it everyone is still alive?" said McGonagall as the took a seat at the dining table.

"Regrettably," replied Severus. "Minerva, you asked me to stay here because you were harboring suspicion of the Dursleys, did you not?"

"Of course," confirmed Minerva and looked closely at Snape.

"I have some additional information. It has come to my attention that the girl was living in the cupboard under stairs until her return this summer. I've seen it myself and the girl confirmed it."

Minerva went pale.

"Severus, are you quite sure?"

"I saw her crawl out of it myself! She returned to it last night and gave up her room for me. I suggest you take a look inside the cupboard yourself. The aunt didn't deny it either when I... confronted her this morning."

"Severus, what did you do?" asked Minerva, remembering the look on Petunia's face.

"Surprisingly nothing. I may have lost my temper but they remain unharmed. In addition I have reason to believe the girl has never eaten with her relatives before and they have been trying to conceal this fact from me while I have been here."

"This is... This is unsettling to say the least," supplied Minerva. "Are you certain they feed her? She seems so small?"

"I couldn't be sure. They have while I was present, though she eats next to nothing and since I have seen them conceal other matters from me I cannot know what is the norm in this house. I would ask you to speak to the girl and see whether she will tell you more."

Minerva nodded.

"And so I shall. However, first there are other matters to discuss. I have received word from an old friend who claims his relative knows how to contact Flamel. I shall be visiting them later today and hope for the best."

"I had hoped you would replace me," said Severus.

"I cannot and if things truly are as you suspect, you must agree we cannot leave her with them."

"You cannot bring her to Hogwarts?"

"And remove her from the bloodwards? After what happened with Quirinus do you really think the castle will be safe for her without Albus there? And where will we house her? Not to mention, she cannot walk around the castle as she is now! We would have to replace the glamours and I wish not to take any such action unless she should wish it so."

"Speaking of glamours, the girl's vision has improved with its removal," added Snape.

"You mean she can see? Curious. But Severus I need you to stay until we either get into contact with Albus or I or Poppy can take over."

"Will you at least stay an hour or two so that I may return to the castle and change robes?"

"I can do that. Now, you must show me that cupboard."

Severus nodded and rose from his chair. He went into the hallway followed by Minerva and opened the cupboard. The elderly witch knelt down as best she could and looked into the small room. She remained silent for a while and Snape was beginning to worry. Then she suddenly spoke:

"How long did you say?" Her voice was broken and when she rose, Snape could see her eyes watering.

"Until she began at Hogwarts," he replied.

"I want to see her now," said Minerva and began to move past Snape.

She stopped when she saw Vernon standing in the entrance to the living room. He was watching her closely. Severus moved over to the kitchen door and called for Petunia.

"Would you kindly bring your niece downstairs," he sneered.

Moments later Petunia came down the stairs followed by Potter. The girl was looking morose as she descended but as soon as she saw Minerva her eyes lit up.

"Professor! You came back!" she cried as she ran down the last few steps.

"Of course! I promised to, didn't I?" McGonagall smiled. "How are you feeling?"

The girl paused and looked around at the spectators.

"I'm okay," she replied.

"Good, why don't you join us in the living room?"

Minerva turned and moved past Vernon who flew aside to avoid touching her. Severus, Potter and Petunia followed her in. McGonagall took at seat on the couch and gestured for Potter to join her. Severus and Petunia remained standing.

"First things first," mumbled Minerva and searched her bag.

She pulled out a small bottle filled with what appeared to be a grey potion. Snape paled. He had completely forgotten about that.

"Mrs Dursley," Minerva said with audible contempt in her voice. "May I borrow a needle?"

Petunia nodded and moved over to one of the cabinets where she removed a small sewing kit. She handed it to Minerva who removed a needle and uncorked the bottle.

"Your hand, Harry," she smiled and reached for the girl's hand but the child pulled back and whimpered slightly.

Snape sighed and moved to one of the armchairs before holding out his hand to Minerva. She nodded her gratitude and pierced the skin on his finger with the needle. Soon a small drop of blood appeared and Severus dropped it into the potion. He was a little disappointed to see that it was exactly the right shade of grey.

"Come on, Harry. It won't hurt!" Minerva said. "We'll do it now and then it will be over."

Snape looked over at the girl and was surprised to find her glaring at him. He couldn't think of any reason she had to be upset with him right now. Surely, this was equally surreal to both of them. Slowly she held out her hand to Minerva who proceeded to poke her as well. McGonagall then tapped the girl's finger on the bottle causing a drop of blood to fall.

"Now we wait," mumbled Severus.

"What's going to happen?" inquired Petunia.

"It will remain grey if there is no relation or distant relation. It will turn a dark rosa if there is a fairly close connection like cousins or half siblings. Red means either siblings or parent and child," replied Snape, though he was informing Potter just as much as Petunia.

And so, the four of them remained there in silence and watched as the potion slowly turned a vivid red.

 **TBC**


	14. Ruby and emerald

**A/N: I own and make nothing**

* * *

Red was the color of strawberries. Red was the color of love. Red was the color of her mother's hair when she smiled up at her from the pages of the picturebook Hagrid had given her. But red was also the color of anger. It was the color of blood. It was the color of the bottle sitting on the table and at that moment it was the color Harry despised most in the world. What did this mean? What did this change? To her, it only made the world a much darker place. She wanted to return to pretending and imagining what her dead parents were like but she also knew that what made that so enjoyable was the possibility that it wasn't pretend at all. That some part of her believed it to be the truth. How could it ever be the same now that she knew that it wasn't true and never would be? Was it possible to pretend to the extend that you believed it?

For about half a minute after the bottle had turned red, no one said a word. To Harry it felt like hours of silence. She was the first to visibly react however. As McGonagall and Snape both sat and stared at the bottle as if they had never seen magic before, the actual muggle in the room was looking at Snape with a smug expression. Harry didn't feel it at first but tears began falling. As soon as she realized she raised her hands to wipe them away but they just kept coming. After a half minute she was sitting there with snot and tear covered fingers and more on her face. Her vision was blurred by the tears and that was when the first audible sob escaped her. The sound seemed to resonate through the room and woke the others from their daze.

"Minerva, I..." she heard Snape whisper but the man didn't finish the sentence.

However, the sound of the man's voice broke the dam and Harry began sobbing in earnest. It wasn't fair! She didn't ask for this! She didn't want this!

"Severus, please.." replied McGonagall.

Harry froze as she felt an arm being hesitantly wrapped around her. She flinched at the touch but afterwards allowed the witch to hold her. She couldn't see anything for the tears but McGonagall handed her a handkerchief. When she had wiped her hands and parts of her face it was already too soggy to use and the tears kept coming.

"I told you! I told you but would you listen to me?" said Petunia.

"Mrs Dursley, that is not helping!" cried McGonagall.

Harry leaned closer to her professor and McGonagall allowed it. She could hear Snape suddenly getting out of the armchair and walking towards the door. That for some reason only made her feel worse. McGonagall squeezed her arm slightly.

"Severus! Severus, where are you going?" she cried.

"I'm going back to the castle for an hour like we agreed and then I'm going to dig James up, revive him and personally beat him back in the grave!" sneered the other professor.

"Severus!" cried McGonagall but the man had already left. "It's alright, Harry! Would you like to lie down for a bit? Mrs Dursley, would you get us some papertowels or something?"

Harry didn't understand it. What was Snape so upset with her... with James Potter for now? Was he upset because James _wasn't_ her father now? It didn't make any sense at all. At any other time she would be mortified at the idea of crying into McGonagall but the truth was she had no one else who would hold her. The only other person she had ever had comfort her was Hermione. But Hermione wasn't here right now. Harry both wished she was and and was happy that she wasn't. What would her friends make of this? She knew they had accepted her as a girl and kept her secret but they both _hated_ Snape! What would they think if they saw her like this? With this face? Still, she wanted Ron to be there and make some dumb comment in an effort to make her laugh and for Hermione to have everything make sense.

"Would you like to talk about it?" said McGonagall as they waited for Petunia to return.

Harry shook her head. How could she tell her what she felt? How _did_ she feel? Lonely, betrayed, _disgusting_. To think that she was in any way like Snape? That was not a pleasant thought.

"It's going to be okay, Harry! Just you wait and see! We will figure it out!" promised McGonagall but the uncertainty in her voice didn't escape Harry.

Petunia returned with some tissues and placed them in Harry's lap before leaving them alone. Harry began furiously cleaning her face up. As soon as the room came into focus once more she scooted away from McGonagall.

"Harry.." McGonagall began.

"I'm going to my room," Harry said, cutting her off.

"Harry, are you sure? You can lie down on the couch if you like."

"No, I'm going," Harry replied and got up.

She felt McGonagall grab her hand as she stood.

"I know it must be a shock," said the professor.

"Just leave me alone!" cried Harry suddenly.

She wasn't really angry with McGonagall but she just couldn't hold it in any longer. As soon as the words were out she realized her tone had been anything but kind and rather than deal with the sorrowful look in McGonagall's eyes she made for the door and ran up the stairs. She slammed the door shut behind her and crawled into bed and under her blanket. The light shone through the tiny holes in the crimson blanket. Her eyes filled with tears again. She curled up and as her vision blurred, red became the color of her whole world.

* * *

Severus Snape shut the door to his quarters behind him. He turned, placed his hands on the door and rested, leaning against it for a moment. He turned and took in the sight of his living room. Everything looked so normal. Yet, nothing was the same. He had hoped to shut out the thoughts with the rest of the world but they followed him inside and tainted everything he saw. This was his peaceful hideout in which he could wait out the emotions. Now everything seemed so pointless and small. There were parts of the work he had left behind yesterday, there were his current book in his armchair with the bookmark sticking out and there were a glass he'd forgotten to put away. It was his world but it seemed so small and insignificant.

Lily's words flashed in his brain. _My trust has been misplaced._ Who was Lily referring to? The friend with whom she had left the letters? James? No, that James could not be trusted was old news at that point. A third person entirely? Or.. The worst imaginable thing. Was is him? Lily had been waiting for him. She had been waiting for him for a year! What must she have thought when he never came for her? And where was he? Out doing the Dark Lord's bidding, that's where! But then again had she not insisted that Petunia should only ever tell Severus? He clung to that. At least she still trusted him with her child. _Her child? Our child? My child?_ Severus tried the words out in his head but they still made him uncomfortable. _She trusted me with her child!_ Lily had hoped for Severus to come and save her and the baby. Would they have gone away together? Where? How? The Dark Lord would have asked for his head. What of the Order?

Snape huffed. Potter would likely have spun them a tale and set every member on him. Still, despite the bad odds Severus wanted to believe that he could truly have helped her. That he could have taken her far away and they would be happy together. It didn't even matter if he died trying as long as he succeeded in saving her. He would have given her that.

He had failed her. Not only had he caused her death but he had failed to help her when she most needed him and condemned her daughter to life with the Dursley's under the alias James Potter had forced upon her. For delivering the prophecy to his then master he had been asked to do penance. He had turned upon his former friends and sworn to protect _Potter_ \- that name didn't feel right. What could he possibly do now? Lily would never forgive him for this!

He made his way across the room. He would have to shower and change robes before heading back. He _was_ going back. It was strange. Yesterday he would have taken this opportunity for escape in a heartbeat. He couldn't quite explain it. It terrified him to know he had a child. Him? Severus Snape? Of all people? He hadn't imagined ever having children. Even in the times where he dreamt of one day marrying Lily Evans he had never imagined them with children. He couldn't imagine it because the only ideas he had about such a family was his own childhood home or Lily's. The first he would never wish upon any child and the second he couldn't place himself in. There was always the fear that he would become his own father. He had never loved after Lily. There had never been any reason to start dreaming of things to come again.

Still, a small part of him, the irrational part he told himself, was pleased with the thought that there was a little bit of him that would remain in the world after he died. The fact that Lily was the other half of that child was the icing on the cake. But the girl had cried when she saw the results. Those were not happy tears. She cried as though she had watched a loved one die. While Snape could understand her emotions he couldn't understand his own. Why did hurt so much to know she was that unhappy with the result? He knew she would feel that way! He had expected he would as well!

* * *

Minerva was at a loss. It would seem everything depended on whether or not she would be able to contact the Flamels tonight. She had tried to be practical about this but she couldn't deny that where emotion was involved practicality rarely was. It had been a help to her that she had not been the one staying here but the thoughts had followed her back to Hogwarts. She didn't know what Albus would say to the whole issue of Harry Potter's parentage but one thing she knew for sure: What Snape had told her earlier had only confirmed her suspicions. The Dursleys were clearly not treating the girl well and she needed to get to the bottom of this. Something had to be done about that at least. She would need further information because she remembered only too well voicing her concerns about the Dursleys when Harry first arrived here and Albus shrugging them off. It would appear she had been right then. _I should have insisted. I should have demanded some kind of examination of them._ But Albus had convinced her he had someone looking after Harry and that everything was well.

Minerva rose and walked into the hallway. She closed the cupboard door and cast a locking charm that only allowed the door to be opened magically. The Dursleys could not be allowed to get rid of the evidence. Then she made her way up to Harry's room. She knocked on the door but as she expected there was no reply. She opened the door slightly.

"Harry?"

She could see the shape under the red blanket and she moved over to the bed and sat down. She didn't make any move to remove the cover. She knew Harry was most likely crying and didn't want to be looked at at the moment.

"Harry, I haven't come to speak to you about the test. I won't talk about that unless you want to."

"Then why are you here, professor?" a small voice beneath the blanket sniffed.

"Well, Harry, I don't think you're happy living here? Is that correct?"

There was no answer.

"If there is anything, _anything_ at all, you know you can tell me right? I can help you but only if you tell me," Minerva said calmly.

"He said that too," mumbled Harry.

"Who?"

"Professor Snape. But he has gone now and you will too and you don't understand," continued the blanket covered shape.

"What don't we understand?" asked Minerva and tryingly placed a hand where the girls shoulder was.

"You just make it worse. They are really mad. And they are going to be worse when you leave."

"You told professor Snape this?"

"Mhmm," said the girl.

"Harry, why don't you come out from there?" Minerva said but when there was no response she continued: "We are not leaving until we know you are safe, I promise you that. We haven't left you yet. Professor Snape has gone to Hogwarts but he will be back. Just like how I went yesterday but I came back today. Didn't I keep my promise to come back?"

There was some movement underneath the blanket but Minerva couldn't be sure whether Harry was nodding or shaking her head.

"Is it easier if I ask you questions? You only have to say yes or no if you don't want to explain further right now."

The blanket was pulled away and revealed a moist face and red eyes. Minerva tried her best to smile though the amount of hurt visible on the girl's face was like a punch in the gut. Harry nodded slowly.

"Did you sleep in a cupboard before you came to Hogwarts?"

"Yes."

"Do you usually eat with the rest of your family?"

"No."

"When do you usually eat?"

Silence. Minerva didn't really have to ask when simply looking at the girl would tell you that meals were either small, few or irregular.

"Has.. Has your relatives ever hurt you?" Minerva said and held her breath for the answer.

"Yes," said the girl and made to cover herself once again but Minerva grabbed the blanket before she could.

"Was it your aunt or your uncle?" she continued, her heart now beating its way out of her chest.

"Neither," said the girl who was visibly irritated that she could not hide.

"Then who?"

"You'll just laugh at me," mumbled the girl.

"Harry! I would never laugh at you! This is serious!"

The girl simply glared at her professor and mumbled: "Dudley."

"Your cousin?"

"He beats me up all the time."

"Have you told your aunt and uncle this?"

"They let him. Sometimes he does it in front of them."

"Is there anything else I should know?"

"I don't want to talk anymore," said the girl and curled up. "It doesn't matter anyway."

McGonagall rose and tried to calm her breathing. She suddenly understood how Snape could lose his temper with the Dursleys. In fact she was both surprised and a little disappointed that he had not left them as a pile of ash. She turned and left the room. She understood that it must be hard for the girl to share anything and she would give her all the time she needed. Then she realized that neither she nor the girl had eaten lunch. That at least she could get Harry. She walked downstairs and marched into the kitchen where she found all three Dursleys. The boy starred at her with wide eyes and she paused to send him her sternest look which produced the intended effect since he began to tremble slightly.

"Mrs Dursley. Would you be so _good_ as to prepare some food for your niece? She's not very well at the moment and cannot come down," she spat.

"Are you taking her?" sneered Vernon, who seemed less afraid of an elderly woman than he was of Snape.

"I certainly hope so but for now she remains here and so do we," replied Minerva.

* * *

Severus locked and warded the entrance to his chambers. He had showered and dressed in clean robes and this made him feel a lot better than he had imagined it would. Now that he felt more relaxed the idea of returning didn't bother him as much, though he sincerely hoped Minerva would not leave at the first opportunity. He was as eager as she was to find Dumbledore but he also didn't like being left alone to deal with his frustration, an emotional child and three Dursleys.

He made his way off the grounds and apparated back to Privet Drive and took special care to apparate into the tool shed this time. He quickly cast a notice-me-not charm and went down the street towards the house. His eyes once again went to the bars on the window and he frowned. Seeing the remains of the flowerbed he had destroyed made him feel slightly better. He didn't bother to knock but simply opened the door which he wasn't surprised to find unlocked. He could hear the TV running in the living room so he didn't bother to enter. Instead he went into the kitchen where he found Minerva sipping a cup of tea at the small table.

"Oh, Severus! You're back!"

"Obviously," replied Snape drily.

"And James is still in his grave I take it?"

"For now," he sneered as he was reminded.

"I need you to leave that be for now. Harry doesn't know and I don't think she needs to hear about that right now."

"Where is she? Did you speak with her?"

"In her room and yes, yes I did. I tried to get her to answer a few questions."

Snape raised an eyebrow. He hadn't been able to get the girl to really talk. Perhaps Minerva had had more luck?

"She doesn't eat with them and while she wouldn't say anything I suspect they do not feed her enough. She also said they allow her cousin to be violent towards her."

Severus nodded. Whatever shadow of sympathy he had had for the son of the Dursleys was gone. He sat down at the table. Now was the time to go over Minerva's plan.

"What do you intend to do?"

"I intend to demand she be removed from this place. I will leave soon for my meeting. If all goes well I shall be back here with Albus come morning so let us hope for the best! Did you see Poppy while you were at the castle?"

"No, you mentioned she did not take the news well so I considered it wiser not to."

"Ah, well, I will have to tell her the definitive results as well. Poor thing."

"She? A poor thing? You seem to be forgetting whose life it is being restructured!"

"Come now, Severus! You know I didn't mean it like that! I've had Petunia bring the girl some lunch but I cannot be sure she has eaten. She was in a state when I last saw her. Perhaps you should talk to her?"

"Perhaps..." Snape agreed. "Are you leaving already?"

"The faster I get there, the faster I shall return. I will see you soon, Severus!"

The witch left her teacup on the table and rose. With a nod to her colleague she left the house. Snape remained seated for a moment. Minerva intended to relocate her? He completely agreed with that of course but where? He couldn't think of a place. The girl needed to grow up in a proper family and while he had seen her bond with other children he wasn't sure whether either would welcome her into their own families. There would be many families willing to house the boy... eh, girl-who-lived but someone who would actually tend to the girl and not simply house her for her celebrity status? He wasn't sure what was expected of him. He couldn't do much for her nor was he certain she would accept his help. At least he could help her where she was. He got up and walked up the stairs and knocked on her door.

"I said, I'm fine!" yelled someone from inside.

"Lower your voice," commanded Snape as he opened the door and entered.

The girl spun around on the bed. She was clearly surprised to see him. Severus glanced at the desk where a tray with some pasta and salad stood. She had been doing _something_ to it but he wasn't so sure she had eaten anything as much as moved it around a bit.

"I would like you to join me downstairs," he continued.

"Where is professor McGonagall?"

"She has gone to attend to something of great importance. In the meantime I will be here. Follow me," Snape replied in a voice that left no room for discussion yet it somehow had little effect.

"I don't want to talk to you! I already spoke to McGonagall so leave me alone!" cried the girl.

Snape could feel the frustration slowly building inside. He didn't need this. Not now. She could apparently have a semi-decent conversation with his colleague and he completely understood that she might find it easier to open up to her own Head of House, especially when his relationship with her had been less than cordial. None the less, why did she have to shout at him? Did she consider this his fault? When it was James who... But of course she didn't know that.

"As much as I am understanding of the emotional trauma the news may have been you still seem to have an attitude problem. I know this isn't easy for you but it gives you no right to yell at me."

"Oh, what?" replied Harry. "Now I'm not allowed to be angry, huh? What am I supposed to do? Smile all the time?"

"No," said Severus, his patience running thin. "You may be angry if you wish but you will be respectful none the less."

"This isn't school! You can't tell me what to do here so GO AWAY!" cried Harry.

"I beg to differ!" replied Snape and raised his voice. "It would appear that I can! Now, when you've done something about this attitude of yours I would like to see you downstairs!"

He turned and left the room. _Why did I say that? Why did I say that?_ He hadn't meant to acknowledge the results in such a way. He knew she would have to be placed in a new family and the less they said about it the easier it would be to deal with. He entered the living room where he found the Dursleys sitting in front of the TV.

"Petunia!" he snapped which caused all three of them to jump. "Join me in the kitchen, NOW!"

As he turned he clearly head Vernon say: "That's it! I'm taking our son over to Marge for the rest of the day! Those people are violent, Petunia! And I won't sit here and listen to them ordering us around!"

Severus smirked. That suited him well. The man and the boy were nothing if not in the way. Petunia at least was smart enough not to cross them. Then again, she did want something from them.

"What is it, Snape?" hissed Petunia as she entered the kitchen. Sounds could be heard in the hallway as Vernon and the boy got ready to leave.

"Are you poor?"

"Excuse me?"

"It's a valid question considering your niece wear rags!" explained Snape.

"Vernon doesn't like to spend money on her and frankly I don't think she deserves it either. She gets in too many fights for nice clothes. Besides it would be ruined anyway when she..."

"When she what?" Snape pressed. He had a good idea what Petunia meant by 'fights' after what Minerva had told him.

"Oh.. She does a bit of gardening at times."

"Then I would assume she would have appropriate clothes for that as well."

Petunia sighed. "What do you want, Snape?"

"I want you to go out and get her some decent clothes, Petunia. Just like you are actually expected to do."

"I'm not made of money. Besides she's your problem now, why don't _you_ do it?"

"I rather feel you owe it to her! Do you want to make this an argument, Tuney?" Severus replied silkily as he twirled his wand. "I'm not asking you to shower her in presents. I'm just asking you to dress her properly as you would your own daughter."

Petunia seemed to consider this. Then she nodded and a strange light shone in her eyes.

"I'll be going out now then," she smiled and left for the hallway.

Petunia returned about an hour later with two shopping bags. Snape was sitting in the kitchen enjoying a cup of tea. He was getting rather impatient because the girl was still refusing to come downstairs. Petunia placed the bags in the hallway and hung up her coat before going into the kitchen.

"I see you found my Darjeeling!" commented Petunia.

"Mmm," said Snape into the teacup.

"I'll make a few sandwiches. Is she still upstairs?"

"Yes. But I can wait her out."

"You just have to be a little firm with her. I'll have her come downstairs," smirked Petunia.

Severus glared at the woman. He didn't at all like the suggestion that he couldn't handle a child and certainly not the suggestion that the reason was he was too soft! Petunia made a few sandwiches and filled a pot with the tea Snape had already removed from the cupboards. She placed it all on the small table in the kitchen and went out to pick up the bags and retrieve the girl. After a while Snape could hear what sounded like an argument going on upstairs. Curious and more than a little smug he rose and entered the hallway to be able to hear better.

"I'm not! I told you!"

"You just stop that right now!"

"UGH! Are you blind or something?"

"What's going on?" called Snape.

"I'm not wearing this!" yelled the girl.

"It's perfectly fine! You look pretty!" cried Petunia.

"Yes, you will! Now come downstairs at once!" roared Snape, though with some amusement and returned to the kitchen.

"FINE!" he heard coming from the hallway and then the sound of them coming down the stairway.

"Watch your language!" he heard Petunia cry though he didn't hear what she was referring to.

Severus took a seat and turned his attentions back towards his teacup. Finally there was some progress with the girl. However a moment later she stomped into the kitchen and Snape almost spat his tea out. The girl glared at him and crossed her arms.

This was not at all what he had meant! It appeared Petunia had overlooked the word 'properly' and focused on the words 'dress her like your own daughter'. The girl was wearing black shoes, white tights and a dress with short puffed sleeves and a bow on the back. While her hair was still just long enough for bangs and almost covering her ears there was now a hairband – also with a bow, placed on her head. Snape had only meant that Petunia should get her some jeans and shirts that actually fit her – not that she should force a girl who had worn trousers for most of her life into a dress. However the indignant look on her face was still very amusing to him and rather satisfying after how she had yelled at him earlier.

"You look... presentable," smirked Severus.

"Yeah, YOU would think that wouldn't you! I look like a bloody Slytherin!" hissed the girl and crawled onto the other stool.

Then Severus realized. She wasn't upset about the femininity of the attire. At least not only. She was grimacing in disgust because in an effort on Petunia's part to make it match her eyes, the dress and hairband were both emerald green.

"Hardly... My snakes would never look this... _cute_ ," replied Severus, trying very hard not to laugh.

In response the girl pulled off the hairband and hurled it at him though hints of a smile appeared on her face.

"Then on the other hand... You _do_ look good in green," frowned Snape after catching the hairband midair and placing it on the table.

"Ugh! You sound like the hat!" mumbled the girl and took a sandwich off the plate.

"What's that?" inquired Snape.

"You look fine!" sneered Petunia and went to retrieve the stool from the dining room.

"What about the hat?" pressed Severus.

"Nothing," mumbled the girl with her mouth full of sandwich.

"Don't speak with your mouth full and it's clearly not nothing if you intend to hide it!"

"Well, the hat wanted me in Slytherin," the girl said and shrugged.

Snape choked on his tea and began coughing.

"What? And just how are you in Gryffindor then?" he coughed out. She had to be having him on. He'd never seen a more perfect example of Gryffindor foolishness than the one before him.

"I asked it not to put me there," she explained, timidly. "And... I may have... threatened to burn it if it didn't put me somewhere else! But.. But I didn't mean to! I didn't know it could read my mind!"

Snape studied her. She was serious?

"And why, if I may ask, would you especially ask not to be put there?"

"Erh... Well.."

"Well?"

"I heard... Well, Malfoy was really mean to Ron and then he was send there and... then someone told me only bad wizards go there," she explained as she blushed.

"Hmm... That shows just how much Mr Weasley knows," mused Snape.

"I didn't say it was Ron!" protested the girl.

"I _do_ have a brain, young lady," replied Snape.

He was well aware of the bad reputation of his house. It wasn't entirely undeserved as there had been more dark wizards there than in the other houses but the idea that Slytherins were all evil was not only wrong but also very problematic.

"I will look forward to seeing what else your aunt got for you," he smirked.

The girl grimaced in response but a small smile on her lips didn't escape Snape's eyes as she picked up her teacup.

 **TBC**


	15. A girl named Harry

**A/N: I own and make nothing**

* * *

Tea went without further incident as well as without further conversation. Petunia returned with the stool and joined them which effectively put a lid on the semi-pleasant atmosphere. Harry spent most of it stuffing her face and receiving disapproving looks from both adults. But she hadn't eaten lunch and was frankly starving. Besides neither of the adults said anything about it though they kept sending accusing looks to each other whenever Harry took too large a bite. Once they had finished, only a single sandwich remained on the plate and Harry glanced at it thoughtfully. Any other day she would have attempted to get it and hide it away for later. It seemed after her professors had arrived that the Dursleys had decided to feed her. She knew of course that this was merely for show. When was Snape going to leave? And when would McGonagall stop coming back? Could she afford not to stash this sandwich? How long would it be before she would go hungry again?

"Are your books in your trunk?"

"Huh?" Harry replied as she was pulled from her thoughts.

"I asked you whether your books are in your trunk?" said Snape.

"Yeah," replied Harry and shrugged.

"Yes, _sir_ ," corrected Snape and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Harry stared at the man for a moment before repeating his words. She couldn't make him out. One moment he was sneering at her, the next... Well, after she came downstairs he'd been almost... Not kind but at least less Snape-ish. Now, he was correcting her again and although she herself had reminded him they were no longer at school it very much felt like it.

"You cannot possibly eat more!" he continued and gave Harry a pointed look as she was once again staring at the sandwich.

"No, sir. I was just.. Never mind," she mumbled and got off the stool.

She brushed crumbs off the dress but didn't look up to see Petunia's frown. It was incredibly weird to walk in. She knew she had worn dresses as a very small child – back when she had been referred to as 'Harriet', but she had completely forgotten how it felt. It wasn't unpleasant in any way but it was unusual. And Harry felt like one of Petunia's porcelain figurines. She touched the soft fabric. Could you run in this? Could you work? Harry didn't think so. Just then she felt something move above her head and gasped in surprised when the hairband was suddenly placed there.

"You forgot this," smirked Snape.

"I don't want to wear it! I told you!" protested Harry.

"Weren't you just admiring yourself? I would think you would like to complete the ensemble."

"Why don't _you_ wear it! _You're_ the one with the girly hair!" retorted Harry and tossed the hairband back onto the table.

Harry saw the smirk disappear from Snape's lips and be replaced with a grim expression she knew only too well. It didn't help that Petunia was suppressing laughter over at the sink.

"What did I tell you about being respectful?" said Snape.

That didn't sit well with Harry. At the return of that topic she suddenly remembered who she was talking to. When he was joking around her it was a pleasant escape from his otherwise terrible moods. But it wasn't like when she was with Ron. Snape was laughing at her not with her, wasn't he? Well, if he was still going to be the same old bat who could not take a joke at _his_ expense she would at least have some fun with it.

"Okay, your greasy hair looks girly, _sir!_ "

At this Petunia burst into full on laughter and Snape's expression darkened further. _Oh, so it's not funny when it's you is it?_

" _Potter!_ " hissed Snape.

The return of that lastname felt like a punch in the gut and Harry suddenly realized Snape hadn't referred to her by that name in a while. It was a sharp reminder of why he was here with her and the lie that the name was left her nauseous. Here he was telling her what to do and how to handle this when _he_ was the cause of all her misery! Well, Harry didn't want to hear whatever lecture Snape was about to give. Instead she simply did the most childish thing she could think of because she knew that would upset him the most. She looked up at him with the anger visible in her eyes and just as he was about to speak she stuck out her tongue at him and ran back up to her room.

* * *

Severus was fuming. What on earth was that? Of course he could have told himself that whatever progress he thought they had made with the girl wasn't going to last. She was still that child he knew from Hogwarts after all. Still, her behavior didn't seem to be the result of a luxurious homelife as he had first suspected but a combination of neglect at home and the indifference her rulebreaking had been met with at school. Minerva had made her a seeker for Merlin's sake! When by rights, she should have been punished! Yes, that was it! The Dursleys, Minerva and the Headmaster had been effectively ruining her between them and he was the one suffering from it!

"You say you are a teacher, Severus? Oh, well, you'll get the hang of it soon! I promise you that! Just give it a little time," said Petunia sweetly.

Severus glared at her and once again stared in the direction the girl had disappeared. He didn't know what to make of Petunia at the moment. She seemed to be switching between despising the girl and defending her to him.

"I need to take a walk," Severus muttered and made for the front door.

Perhaps clearing his head a little would help. At least it would get him away from Petunia. He stepped outside and walked out to the pavement. He glanced back at the house to see Petunia looking at him through the lace curtains but she quickly disappeared. He began walking down the street. He didn't know where he was going. Perhaps, the girl would have improved once he returned. Who was he kidding? This was practically letting her get away with it! If they had been at school he would have assigned several detentions by now so why was he letting it go? _Minerva told me to be patient, she's had a shock!_ He stopped walking. _But so have I! If I say nothing I am no better than Minerva and the old coot!_ The mental image of the girl running amok in the school corridors, no longer affected by his harsh words because he had shown her they meant nothing, was flashing before his eyes.

He turned around and walked back to the house in swift long strides. He was going to give that girl a piece of his mind. When he opened the door the first thing he heard was Petunia's voice from the floor above:

"What were you thinking? Are you really that stupid, you little freak? I would think you'd be happy to be with your own kind! Do you expect them to take you when you act like this?"

"I don't care!" cried the girl. Severus couldn't be sure but her voice sounded broken as though she was crying.

"Can't you at least put in a little effort after all the trouble I went to?" cried Petunia.

"How am I supposed to know what we are pretending when you don't _tell_ me?"

"Even so, what you did down there was idiotic! I dressed you up to look like an actual decent child and you do nothing but complain! I always knew you to be ungrateful but you are choosing the worst possible time to showcase that!"

"I told you I didn't want to wear it! You practically forced me into it!"

"And what you said to that old slumdweller? Are you out of your mind? Have you _any_ idea how hard I've tried to make him accept you? You're pushing him away and he'll never take you if you're like this!"

"You're the stupid one of you think he ever will! He _hates_ me!" hissed the girl.

"I'm not surprised! So do I and one would think you'd cooperate with that in mind!" shrieked Petunia. "Now, you better apologize to him the moment he comes back and you better seem like you mean it!"

"I won't! I'll wait right here until McGonagall comes back!"

"You ungrateful little bitch!" spat Petunia.

Severus had heard enough. He slammed the door shut behind him alerting the others to his presence. A moment later a white-faced Petunia appeared at the top of the stairs with a smile painted on her face.

"Oh, Snape! I... You're back already?" she smiled weakly.

"Indeed," Snape confirmed.

"I... I need to see to something in the kitchen," mumbled Petunia and carefully began descending the stairs.

Snape watched her like a hawk watching its prey and Petunia clearly felt he could pounce on her at any minute because she was unusually jumpy. In reality he didn't know what to do? Should he confront her? Or go speak to the girl? He had known Petunia was hiding things from him and that she had been quite insistent upon their taking the girl away but it was quite something else to hear her admit it. _How dare she attempt to manipulate me?_ In the end he opted for letting Petunia live in uncertainty and went to the living room. He had fully intended to speak to the girl but he couldn't bring himself to face her right now. Something she said was gnawing at him. _He hates me!_ Not two weeks earlier he would readily admit that he did and he would have done it to her face but there was something about hearing her say it like that, without his presence and without any sympathy to be gained from it that bothered him. It was almost... hurtful. But he didn't care what she thought of him! Well, she hadn't actually said _she_ hated _him_ , rather she had only spoken of Severus' feelings. Perhaps he would have liked it better if she had. If he could dismiss this as the words of an angry confused child. If there wasn't any truth to it at all. And if he didn't feel ashamed of it.

And what was this thing about them not taking her away? He knew for a fact that that was exactly what they planned to do! As soon as there was a place for her to go! She would have to be reassured of this but Severus didn't feel he was the one to do it.

* * *

The male Dursleys arrived back home for dinner. Severus didn't join them but was now completely occupying the living room much to the boy's displeasure since that was where the television was kept. The girl didn't join them either but Petunia brought up a tray for her with a nervous glance in Snape's direction. After the Dursleys had eaten dinner the boy went out again to meet with some friends and Vernon joined his wife in the kitchen. Neither of the two said a word to Snape. Severus was sitting in one of the armchairs in the living room when he heard a tapping at the window. He looked up to see an unfamiliar barnowl outside and the sight made him feel much better. He opened the window to let in the owl. It had a letter tied to its leg addressed for him in Minerva's handwriting yet the owl was clearly not hers.

 _Dear Severus  
Excellent news! My meeting went better than expected  
and the reply was almost instant! I am currently  
at the Flamel residence with Albus. I have  
informed him of our findings.  
We will be arriving tonight to see you.  
Expect us before long!_

 _Minerva_

Well, that was certainly vague! She had informed him? What did he say? Did he know anything? If not how did he take it? The only upside was that he was about to find out. The prospect of spending another night at Privet Drive was certainly not appealing. He looked up to see that the owl had already flown, leaving an empty windowsill behind. A reply was clearly not expected.

Of course there was the matter of the Dursleys. They would certainly not react well to additional wizards but Snape recognized the necessity of the Headmaster seeing the girl's living conditions for himself. He decided not to inform them at all. Considering what he had overheard Petunia say he didn't want to give her time to put on a show. Severus closed the window and walked up the stairs to the girl's room. He knocked but there was no answer. He knocked once more and when there was no reply he moved to open the door. As soon as he had cracked open the door he could hear soft sniffling. He opened the door completely and stepped inside to find the girl sitting on the end of the bed near the window – looking out.

"What do you want?" she said softly, not even bothering to look up.

Snape wondered how she even knew it was him but then thought that perhaps the Dursleys usually did not wait for permission to enter.

"I am sure you will be pleased to hear that we can expect professor McGonagall and the Headmaster here tonight," replied Severus.

She turned and looked up at him. Her eyes were slightly red and her cheeks were pale. She was still wearing the dress however she had kicked off the shoes which were now lying in separate locations on the floor.

"What? When?" she replied.

"I cannot be sure but I expect them here soon. Will you come down?"

The girl seemed to consider for a moment before she nodded her consent.

"Yes, sir," she added and got up from the bed but then she paused.

"Oh... Erh... About earlier."

"Are you referring to what you said in the kitchen or the discussion with your aunt I overheard?" asked Severus and crossed his arms.

The girl blushed. Clearly she had been referring to the latter and forgotten about the first. However, she clearly no longer wished to say whatever it was she had been about to say as she remained silent and passed Snape out into the hallway.

"I might as well take up the conversation from this afternoon. Your schoolbooks are in the cupboard?"

"I already told you," mumbled the girl walking in front of him.

Severus exhaled and reached out and grabbed her shoulder. She stopped on the step she was currently on and he turned her around.

"Don't start that! I am merely suggesting that you start on your homework while we wait," he said in what he believed to be a calm tone.

"What? School isn't for months!" she replied with wide eyes.

"Well, that only reassures me that this would be a good idea. I'm not surprised to find you a procrastinator!"

"I'm not a procrashi.. Whatever!"

"If you intended to wait until the last minute then you most certainly are! Now, run along with you into the living room and I shall fetch you something to read!"

"Ugh!" was all the girl said before running down the remaining steps and into the living room.

Severus rolled his eyes. Girl or not. His biological child or not. She was still hopeless with schoolwork. He went to the cupboard and found it locked. Not only with the padlock but magically as well. He unlocked it and pulled the trunk closer and opened it. Inside were what he assumed were the majority of the girl's belongings all thrown together in a giant mess. Severus was no longer surprised that the boy he had known had always appeared in wrinkled robes. Severus muttered something about disorganized brats under his breath and began searching for a book. He wasn't surprised to find none of the books required for the coming school year. Instead he pulled out last years potionsbook, relocked the cupboard and went into the living room.

"You may read this again though considering your essays last year I suspect you haven't read it in the first place," he said as he handed her the book.

The girl made a face at him that Snape pretended not to have noticed and curled up on the couch with it. She flipped through a couple of pages before sighing audibly. Severus was about to lecture her on the importance of homework when someone knocked on the door.

* * *

Harry jumped and threw the book onto the couch. She was back! It wasn't exactly that Harry especially wanted to see McGonagall but she found the whole situation more bearable when her Head of House was there. It wasn't as good as Ron and Hermione but it was the best thing available to her. She got off the couch and made to run to the front door but she was stopped along the way by Snape grabbing her arm.

"Sit back down and calm yourself! And don't let me see you throwing books around again!"

Harry frowned at him and attempted to wiggle herself free but Snape was much too strong and dragged her back to the couch. She gave up and sat back down though with a visible pout. Well, she wasn't going to read again! That was for sure! Snape picked up the book and handed it to her with a pointed look.

"Read," he said and tapped his finger on the cover before leaving to answer the door.

Harry opened the book to a random page and tried her best to look as angelical as possible which wasn't hard in that attire. Her ears perked as she listened to what was happening in the hallway.

"Ah, Severus!" she heard McGonagall said when the door was opened.

"Minerva, Headmaster, Poppy," Snape calmly greeted the group.

"Severus, I..." began Madam Pomfrey, whom Harry was surprised was there.

"Poppy, we will have more than enough time for that! Right now, I myself could use a cup of tea!" said Dumbledore.

There was some shuffleling as they all entered the house.

"What's this? Are you holding a bloody convention?" Uncle Vernon growled from presumably the kitchendoor.

"Ah, Mr Dursley! What a delightful house!" Dumbledore replied.

"The sitting room is through here," said McGonagall. "Severus, where is Harry?"

"She is waiting for you inside. _Studying_ ," replied Snape. He raised his voice at the last word and Harry stuck her nose deeper into the book. How on earth did he do that? He couldn't even see her!

"And hello, Petunia! How about some tea?" continued Dumbledore completely unaffected.

Then someone entered the living room and Harry looked up to see Madam Pomfrey followed by McGonagall. She smiled widely at them.

"Oh, goodness!" cried Pomfrey and stopped dead in her tracks when she first saw Harry.

Harry's smiled faltered and Pomfrey clearly noticed because she continued:

"Oh... P... Harry! I didn't mean it like that! You look lovely! It's just been a bit of a shock! But oh, how must you not feel!"

"Poppy, calm yourself!" supplied McGonagall and the two women joined Harry on the couch.

Pomfrey immediately put her hand on Harry's forehead and then felt her cheeks before sitting down.

"How are you feeling, Harry? You're not dizzy?"

Just then Snape entered the room followed by Dumbledore. Harry put on her angelic smile once more which only served to earn her a frown from Snape because the Headmaster didn't even as much as look at her. The two men sat in the armchairs. Pomfrey and Snape began staring at each other but Harry didn't give it much thought. She looked up at McGonagall and was about to say something when Dumbledore broke the silence.

"Lemon drop anyone? Harry?" he said and held out a small tin.

Now she looked up and locked eyes with him. If he was shocked at her appearance he did a good job of hiding it. Everyone refused him except Harry who reached out and took one.

"There you go! And I'll say that's well-deserved! How long have you been studying? Already halfway through the book?" smiled Dumbledore.

Harry's eyes grew wide and she glanced down at the book in her lap which she had opened to a random page and then over to Snape. The man raised an eyebrow at her but otherwise said nothing for which Harry was immensely grateful.

"Well, I must say, this is quite a change! Quite a change indeed!" mused Dumbledore.

"So you did not know?" asked Snape.

"Know? About our little lady in disguise? Most certainly not!"

"Headmaster, I don't understand how this could have gone unnoticed for so long! How did the castle allow her into the boys' dormitory?" inquired Pomfrey.

"Hmm. The castle can do many things but it is not a sentient being, Poppy. It placed Harry where she expected to be placed because that was her identity."

"I should have looked more closely at the letters," added McGonagall. "Only I was so busy and..."

"I'm not blaming you, Minerva," said the Headmaster.

Harry popped the lemony treat in her mouth and felt very much like a wall decoration with everyone discussing her yet no one looking at her.

"Lily mentioned several letters. Did you...?" asked Snape.

"That is not the discussion we will begin with, Severus," replied the Headmaster and gestured towards Harry.

"First things first, Harry how are you?"

"I'm alright, professor!" replied Harry as she closed the book.

"And may I say you look really lovely! And the dress... your choice of color?" he twinkled.

Harry wanted to make a face but instead she smiled. Just then Petunia and Vernon entered the room. Petunia was carrying a tray with a teapot and several cups. She walked over and placed it on the table while Vernon remained in the door. When Petunia moved to leave, Dumbledore stopped her:

"No, Petunia, Mr Dursley, I would like you to join us! We have much to discuss."

McGonagall transfigured two extra chairs from Petunia's figurines before they could object. Vernon had to be dragged over by Petunia who was whispering something in his ear that caused Snape to frown on the other side of the room. Harry couldn't hear what it was nor could the witches it seemed though they did try to listen in. Dumbledore looked blissfully deaf as he poured himself a cup of tea.

"Now the first thing we need to address are your allegations, Minerva. You claim to have found evidence of abuse?" said Dumbledore and Harry visibly cringed at the last word.

"I never touched the brat!" protested Vernon.

"We found that she has been made to sleep in a cupboard before attending Hogwarts, that her new room has bars of the window as well as several locks. It was in that room we found her upon arrival," said McGonagall, ignoring Vernon.

"And we will give the Dursleys a chance to explain..." began Dumbledore before Snape cut in:

"She doesn't eat with her family yet I've seen her serve them at dinner! She clearly doesn't eat enough!"

"I can confirm that she is very underweight for her age and will need treatment! In fact it is quite serious! And it is not a new problem! This child hasn't been fed regularly for years! I insist on beginning the treatment as soon as possible!" added Pomfrey.

"She also admitted to me that her cousin is allowed to be violent towards her," said McGonagall.

"Ehm.." began Harry.

"The boy is at least four times her size!" muttered Snape.

"Excuse me?" Harry tried.

"Dudders wouldn't hurt a fly!" cried Petunia.

"Mrs Dursley you have no need to worry you will be heard in this," Dumbledore assured her.

" _Excuse me!_ " cried Harry and the room fell silent. "I'm actually here, you know!"

"So we can see," said Snape. "Do you have a point to make or did you just interrupt the Headmaster to state the obvious?"

"Severus..." said McGonagall and put her arm around Harry.

"No. It's just...You're all taking about me like I'm not here. I just want to know what is going to happen to me!"

"Indeed! And that is what we shall determine," continued Dumbledore.

"Do you have any suggestions, Albus?" said McGonagall.

"As for the Harry's living arrangements I'm sure we may add some spells and come to some agreement but I really do not believe removing her from the bloodwards is a possibility."

That was only met with a huge resounding "No!" as every other person in the room cried out.

"You cannot mean that!" said Pomfrey.

"She's not our responsibility!" shrieked Petunia.

"Haven't you been listening?" hissed Snape.

Dumbledore simply took another sip of his tea and calmly looked at them all in turn. Harry's heart sank in her chest. She knew it! She _knew_ it! Nothing was going to come of this. She had tried to tell Dumbledore when she was in the hospital wing but then he had brushed her off as well.

"I'm sorry but you have to understand this is really the safest place for her. She needs the bloodwards – what happened this year should tell you that much."

"Surely we can find some other family and if we all work on warding..." began Snape.

"No, I'm afraid not. No such family is available. Besides there are few whose loyalty we can be absolutely sure of should the worst happen," said Dumbledore, cutting Snape off. "That brings us to the next topic on our list – Harry's changes. I've not had as much time to consider this as I could have wished for. I of course will respect your decision here, Harry, but I would like to inform you first that it would make things a lot easier for us all if you would agree to resume your previous... lifestyle."

"Do... Do you mean be a boy again?" all but whispered Harry. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Albus, tell me you've been drinking!" said McGonagall, equally shocked.

"Yes, Harry that is essentially what I mean. For reasons you cannot understand it would be much safer for you to go on being Harry Potter the Boy-Who-Lived."

"Headmaster! Haven't you realized this is her chance to escape the..." began Snape but Dumbledore cut him off by raising his hand.

"You may take some time to consider," the old man said.

Harry looked around at the other faces. Yes, she _did_ intend to pretend a lot of things hadn't changed but she had never considered to pretend to be a boy again. She had wished to stop that for years and here was her chance and then... McGonagall squeezed her arm slightly. She looked from her to Snape. McGonagall had a sorrowful look in her eyes yet they shone with encouragement as if she meant to say she would support whatever Harry said. Snape was staring at Dumbledore absolutely mortified. Harry took a deep breath and squirmed a bit in her seat before looking up at Dumbledore.

"I want to be a girl!"

McGonagall held her tighter, Pomfrey smiled, Vernon and Petunia exchanged looks and Snape looked relieved.

"Are you sure?" said Dumbledore, the disappointment in his eyes visible. "This is not an easy decision. You may wish to reconsider."

"I'm sure! I won't change my mind!"

"I will be replacing the glamour. So you will get you old appearance back."

"What's wrong with how she looks?" said Snape almost offended.

"I don't want you to! I want to stay like this! I can see like this!" protested Harry.

"I understand that but there will be too many questions as is and we cannot risk anyone knowing the result of that paternity test," replied the Headmaster.

"I don't look like him _that_ much!" cried Harry but she only received looks from everyone else in the room as clearly no one agreed with her.

"Perhaps only if you know," admitted Pomfrey.

"Albus, don't you see that this is your opportunity to give her a new identity? What better way to hide her?"

"And what would we say happened to Harry Potter? What will you do when it comes out? Because it will, Minerva. It will. You yourself told me Harry's friends are already aware of her being female and who knows whether they have told others? And don't you think they will once Harry goes missing? Don't you think they will ask questions? And once people begin asking questions we will have the Ministry at our doors demanding to know where Harry Potter is. Once they start digging it won't be long before we cannot hide it any longer and they are bound to be asking questions about how this happened, who concealed her sex and why and eventually there will be questions about her paternity. We cannot let anyone know of her connection to Severus."

"Then don't deny it! At least not all of it!" it suddenly came from Petunia.

"Mrs Dursley?" inquired McGonagall.

"Well, don't deny that James isn't her father. Just simply say he knew and adopted her and that the girl's father is unknown."

"And you don't believe they will question that?" sneered Snape.

"What can they do? If they have no suspects they cannot make any tests!" continued Petunia.

"She makes an excellent point," said Pomfrey.

"Perhaps. Harry, may I suggest you continue your studies in your room? We have something to discuss that does not concern you," smiled Dumbledore.

"But I..." began Harry but when Dumbledore's eyes lost their twinkle she got up, took her book and huffed before leaving the room. Pomfrey got up and closed the door behind her. There was silence on the other side. They were clearly waiting for her to leave. Harry ran up the stairs and into her room where she threw the book on her bed. It wasn't fair! How could it possibly not concern her? And why was Dumbledore not letting her decide what they were going to do? Why was it any of his business? Well, she intended to find out! Slowly and silently she crept down the stairs and closer and closer to the door. She curled up on the floor outside and pressed her ear against the wood. The voices from the other side reached her ears.

 **TBC**


	16. Control

**A/N: I own and make nothing**

* * *

Severus Snape liked control and he knew that the only true control was control of yourself. You could plan and you could calculate all you wished but it is your own discipline that determines whether you are victorious in your undertakings. This was what he had been trying to do in the short time he had been in Surrey – maintain control of himself. He had not always succeeded but there were always times where even he would struggle. Now was such a time. Before he could surrender to his anger and start yelling he looked towards the door. They waited in silence until they heard the girl's footsteps as she ran up the stairs. However, knowing that particular child he said:

"Silencing spell?"

"I'll do it," said Minerva and wordlessly flicked her wand at the door.

She turned around and gave Severus a smile which he wasn't quite sure whether he should take as an attempt at reassuring him or encouraging him.

"What on earth are you thinking?" Snape hissed at the Headmaster. "Don't you realize what it would do to that girl if you forced her be a boy again?"

"My dear boy, I have no intention of forcing any gender on her, I can assure you. However, it _would_ have been the easiest solution and if she should have wished that herself and I would worry less. I respect her choice of course which was also what I expected her to say. I will find a way to work around it."

"The easiest solution to what exactly? What am I missing here?" mumbled Petunia.

"You must understand that Harry Potter is a figure of a certain... not only symbolical but political value in our society. This will most definitely negatively impact the image of the Boy-Who-Lived."

"Image? Albus is that your primary concern? Your primary concern should be Harry!" cried McGonagall.

"Is this about the prophecy?" said Severus.

He had thought about it earlier but dismissed it as 'that horrible feeling'. On a night many years ago Dumbledore had reminded him that the prophecy specifically referred to a boy and ever since he first heard of Poppy's discovery a thought had been haunting him. _If she is a girl the prophecy does not refer to her._ That meant three things: 1) If this was known the girl might cease to be hunted by the Dark Lord with such determination. 2) If it did not refer to her then they had no prophesied savior. 3) If they had no such savior Lily's death seemed even more pointless.

"It is. But we will discuss that later," replied Dumbledore.

"The girl cannot stay here. You must agree that..." began Poppy.

"I agree! We won't keep her!" growled Vernon.

"Mr Dursley, surely you know the bloodwards also protect you? Your wife gave me her word and I intend to keep Harry here."

"We will find someone else!" cried Severus.

"There is no one else, Severus! Who would you suggest?"

"Lupin?"

"You know too well why that isn't possible," replied the Headmaster.

"The Weasleys? Ronald Weasley is one of her best friends and they were both members of the..." began McGonagall.

"They have seven children who would be endangered by Harry's presence. Do you really believe that is a good idea? Not to mention their financial situation."

"Will you not even give us the time to search?" said Severus.

His blood was boiling. It was unbelievable. He remembered only too well when he was in Harry's shoes and had begged the Headmaster to let him stay at school over the summer and being told that he must return home because there was no other option.

"I have made a decision so fueling your hopes would be pointless."

"You cannot simply dictate her life in this manner!" roared Severus and threw his hands in the air.

"I can. I am her magical guardian and she is my responsibility."

"She is _my_ daughter!" hissed Severus.

The ladies gasped in surprise and Severus froze. How did that slip out? Dumbledore was looking at him like he was a stubborn child throwing a fit.

"She is! And I agree with Severus!" said Petunia.

"I am sorry but it is for the best. She must remain here during the summer."

Severus felt empty. It was like yelling at a rock. He looked up and locked eyes with Minerva. The witch seemed sorrowful and worried. Was Dumbledore really willing to disregard the neglect of the Dursleys? And for what? Yes, bloodwards were the best protection around but if only he would not insist on her resuming the position of the Boy-Who-Lived-With-A-Giant-Target-On-His-Back then would she really need it? He could feel desperation take hold. He would not, could not leave the girl here. Not after the disappointment he had been to Lily. What would she say? What would she do? A suspicion emerged. Was this about Potter? Was Dumbledore protecting one of his golden boys' reputation this way? Surely he was not! Whatever the reason Severus couldn't let him. And he knew he had the rest of the room backing him. He had to do something. For Lily.

"I will take her!" he stated calmly.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore liked control and he knew that true control was control of your surroundings. If you did not maintain your allies and watch your foes you had already lost. People were not stationary but in the grand scheme of things the situation was only ever under control when many people stood together, fought together and held their positions. In truth there was no such thing as a one man army and therefore it was important to consider every pawn before making a move.

Silence fell as soon as the words escaped Snape's mouth. Albus calmly studied the man. He had rarely seen Severus so out of sorts. Of course the man could rarely hide his emotions from him but none the less it was odd to see him this visibly emotional. He hadn't seen him like this since... And he understood. He really did. But how could he explain this to them? The fewer people who knew the better. Voldemort had still marked Harry Potter as his equal. Harry Potter was an identity and a symbol and it didn't matter that Harry was a girl, Harry Potter existed as long as people accepted him as real. It did not matter if she believed she was Harry Potter, it mattered whether Voldemort believed that.

"No."

It was all he could say. He knew how hurtful the word had to be. He wished he could say something else. He wished he could tell them it would be alright. But he couldn't do that, there were too many uncertainties. Not only would that be risking Harry but it would be risking Severus as well. After what had happened with Quirrel, Albus had had his suspicions confirmed. Voldemort would rise again. When he did they would all need Harry Potter but _he_ would need Severus Snape. The best thing Severus could do for Harry was to stay in the background protecting her and when the time came resume his old position as spy for the Order.

"No?" whispered Severus and fell back into his chair.

"This is ridiculous! Can't you see what you are doing to Harry? To Severus? Why can't he take her?" said Poppy.

"You know why. Severus, you cannot claim her publicly and even if you took her secretly, should you be found to have her there would be questions and you would have signed your own death warrant! Not to mention the danger that would put Harry in!"

Albus was getting tired. Their reactions were what he expected but they needed to see sense and soon. Things were not always easy.

"We could all help! It would be safe!" cried Minerva.

Albus locked eyes with his old friend. He recognized the fury in her eyes. It was normally only reserved for her enemies but this time it was for him.

"It would not. That's all I have to say upon the matter. You will respect that," he replied for the first time letting his displeasure seep into his voice.

"You told me to protect her!" Severus suddenly said.

"I did," admitted Albus. "And I still mean to hold you to that promise!"

"If that is the case..."

What was this? What was Severus up to now? Albus held his gaze. What would it take for him to understand? He had hoped Severus of all people would see the tactical advantage to this.

"I demand she is resorted," continued Severus without a hint of emotion.

"What? Resorted? What do you mean?" cried Minerva.

At this point the Dursleys were simply watching the show and Poppy was looking confused.

"Severus? What manner of suggestion is that?" demanded Albus.

"She told me herself that the hat preferred her in Slytherin. You all witnessed the length of her sorting. She was arguing with the hat and even threatened it. She belongs in my house."

"Regardless of whether that is true or not, she was placed in Gryffindor and that's the end of it," replied Albus.

" _You_ asked me to protect her! How can I protect her from afar? Say a resorting is necessary after the her sex has been revealed. Say what you want but place her near me. It is the only way I can guarantee her safety!"

Albus studied the dark-clad man. He knew what he was doing. Albus had stressed the political and strategic aspects of the situation and Severus was now fighting him on the battlefield he himself had chosen. He didn't doubt his words. He himself had feared Harry being placed in Slytherin. Gryffindor was a much safer platform to gather support from.

"While that is true I am afraid that will not be possible. The Slytherin reputation will do her no good."

"You yourself have repeatedly wished for better relations between the houses. You have expressed concern about the deatheaterchildren in my house and discussed possible ways to lead them towards the light. What better way than placing your savior there? What better place for her to gather support? You would have your allies – powerful allies and she would rescue her friends there from life in the Dark Lord's ranks."

"Hmm," Albus said and stroked his beard as he considered this. He had to admit Severus was making a good point.

"You can't be serious! All her friends are in Gryffindor! Everything she knows! You can't do that!" cried Minerva.

"Severus makes an excellent point," confirmed Albus.

"I agree with Minerva!" said Poppy.

"I will consider it, Severus!"

"Headmaster you have already made several definitive decisions about her life tonight, I would ask for one more. I believe this is in her best interest as well as everyone else's."

"Very well," mumbled Albus.

He would give him that. After what Severus had been through he would give him that. And he was right, it was a good idea.

"Did... Did you just? Albus! You're not seriously agreeing to that?" gasped Minerva.

"I am."

* * *

Minerva McGonagall liked control but she knew that control was only an illusion. In the end all you could do was your best and in return hope for the best. She looked from Albus to Severus. She understood perfectly well what Severus was doing and she was happy that he was willing to fight for Harry. But surely this couldn't be the way to go? Harry had few friends despite what Severus might believe of her 'fans', at least few true friends and she would be cut off from them if she left Gryffindor. Of course, when Minerva thought about it she had no reason to doubt Weasley and Granger's loyalty. They would surely stand by her but how would the Slytherins react to that? It was going to be hard enough for Harry to settle in there without being associated with what many Slytherins would consider a 'bloodtraitor' and a girl of inferior blood.

Minerva looked at Severus and for a moment they stared at each other. It was only a glimpse in his eyes and small nod of his head but Minerva understood what he was saying. _Please, help me with this._

"I see my objections would do little to sway you," she said and nodded to the Headmaster.

In reality she would fight for her just as ferociously as Severus was if she believed she was right. But she couldn't ignore that Severus had actually called Harry his daughter and asked for her. Maybe it was desperation causing him to speak but to Minerva the words were no less important and the emotions that caused them no less true. They would pick their battles. One way or another they would remove Harry from Privet Drive but now was not the time. They could not confront Albus again until they had discussed things and planned their approach. Severus wanted her close to him and given that he could not claim her publicly she could not deny him that.

"Indeed," agreed Dumbledore. "As for her remaining at Privet Drive, I trust you understand I placed her here for a good reason and I believe we may overcome any disagreement about Harry's treatment here."

"Well, we disagree with the notion that she has to stay here!" huffed Petunia.

"I am afraid you do not have a choice. You need only to house her and see that she is well, which should not have been a problem with the money you have received monthly for her upkeep. I am not asking you to love her but I am asking you to keep her here – for her protection and your own."

"They have done more damage to her than any deatheater has," muttered Minerva.

"Even so it is what I have decided," said Albus.

* * *

Harry Potter hated control because she knew control meant control over her by someone else. She sat against the door wiping the tears off her face. She felt cold inside. She had gone through so many emotions she didn't understand and her brain was full of fluffy grey clouds. When she had returned and put her ear to the door she had heard Pomfrey stating that she could not stay with her aunt and uncle.

 _They will find someone else? Who is Lupin? What.. Yes! She could ask Ron! They could ask Ron! Will they... She would be dangerous to Ron? What?_

Her heart then did a backwards flip. The absolute mortification when she heard Dumbledore refer to himself as her guardian! What on earth did that mean? She'd never seen him before she started at Hogwarts. But she didn't get finish that trail of thought for then she loudly and clearly heard Snape call her his daughter. The discussion that followed was not any better. There were things she'd already expected to hear. The Dursleys didn't want her and McGonagall wanted her taken away. However when she heard Snape actually offer to take her himself she gasped so loudly she was sure they would have heard on the other side. But no one came out to find her.

It was odd. She had felt so happy during parts of the conversation. Every time McGonagall, Snape or Pomfrey said exactly what she wanted to scream. Oddly enough she had not felt disgusted when Snape called her his child and when he actually offered to take she was praying for the Headmaster to agree. Not that she wanted to live with Snape. She didn't actually think about that at all. All she wanted was to leave Privet Drive! Hell, she might even have spent the summer with _Malfoy_ if it meant never coming back to this place.

But clearly they didn't fight hard enough for her. Now she only felt angry and betrayed. She was angry with Snape for demanding she be moved to Slytherin! How could he? She told him about the hat to shock him not so that he'd actually ruin her life with it! She was a Gryffindor! Wasn't she? Well, all her friends were and she wasn't ever going to be a Slytherin! They might say that but she wasn't going to let them make her one! And why would he want her there anyway? To protect her? Granted, he had apparently saved her life this year but that was because he _had_ to. He didn't need her to be in Slytherin for that so why now? She was angry with McGonagall. How could she agree to this? Why wasn't she telling them no? She was absolutely certain she _hated_ Dumbledore. His was the greatest betrayal. _He_ had placed her here? Why? And he was her guardian but he never said a word to her! He was just deciding everything? Why wasn't he asking her what she wanted?

Well, she had had enough! She wasn't going to let them control her! Harry wiped the remaining tears from her face and rose from the floor. She felt her fury strengthen her. Just then she heard Dumbledore say:

"Even so it is what I have decided."

Harry grabbed the doorhandle and flung open the door.

"Well, you bloody well don't get to decide!" she yelled.

Everyone inside the room looked stunned. Harry was huffing and puffing and trying her very best to incinerate the Headmaster with her glare.

"Minerva... Your silencing spell appears to be... ineffective," Snape suddenly said.

"I disagree. It worked perfectly. None of you ever heard she was there!" smirked McGonagall.

"Minerva!" said Dumbledore sternly and gave her a look.

"I believed she deserved more information and besides did you really think she would react well to finding the door silenced when she came down?" argued McGonagall.

"Harry. Calm down. You have to understand," tried Dumbledore.

"I understand! I understand that you all think you can just boss me around!"

"Well, Harry, we technically can since you are only a child, but we are willing to listen to you," continued the Headmaster.

"You say you listen but you never do anything!"

"It's only during the summer, Harry, you will be fine. And then you will return to Hogwarts."

"Well, I don't want to stay here and I don't want to go back to school either!" she cried.

"Harry," said McGonagall and reached out to touch her arm.

"Don't touch me! If that's how you are you should just go! Leave! I never want to see you again!" cried Harry unaware that her tears had begun flowing once again.

"Sit down with us, Harry. We can talk about this! Calm down, you'll make yourself ill," said Pomfrey in a soothing tone.

"Just get away from me!" sobbed Harry and ran out of the room slamming the door shut behind her.

* * *

"What on earth were you thinking Minerva?" hissed Severus.

"What did you expect her to do?"

Well, Severus _had_ expected the girl to eavesdrop but he _hadn't_ considered Minerva actually helping her do it. He felt horrible. This entire conversation had been a bad experience. Not only was the Headmaster intent on leaving the girl with unfit guardians he had also forbidden Severus to help her. It hurt more than he would care to admit. Yes, he knew perfectly well that it would be a risk but if he could not take her himself he wanted to at least give her through others what he could not provide. Albus Dumbledore clearly disagreed with that. He knew he couldn't leave her. He would find a way. Somehow. He had seen in Minerva's eyes that she thought the same. Therefore he did not point out how irresponsible her actions were. He needed an ally.

"She will eventually come to terms with it," said Dumbledore. "It is not pleasant but it is the way things must be."

"Is she still out there?" asked Petunia.

"She's likely in her room but the silencing spell is still in effect," said Minerva and raised her wand to cancel it.

"I don't understand how you can all just sit there! I am going to check on her! Poor thing is heartbroken!" cried Pomfrey.

"Up the stairs. The door with the excess of locks," said Severus and turned to give the Headmaster a glare.

Poppy nodded and left the room. She had only disappeared up the stairs when they suddenly heard a voice from the hallway.

"MUM! I'm home! Guess who I just saw!" cried the Dursley boy.

The elder Dursleys shot up and exited the room. Severus could hear them ushering their son into the dining room and Vernon growling something about 'keeping the freaks away from him'. Then Poppy came running down the stairs again.

"She's gone!" she gasped.

"What?" asked Dumbledore.

"I checked the room, then all the other ones just to be sure! She's not there!"

"The kitchen!" cried Minerva and ran out of the room.

Severus quickly went into the hallway followed by Poppy and Dumbledore. Minerva returned with a terrified look on her face.

"She's not in the kitchen! I looked into the backyard as well! Nothing!"

"She didn't...?" suggested Poppy.

"She _did_ ," replied Severus and opened the front door.

The street outside was calm. There was no sign of the girl.

"Young Mr Dursley, did you see your cousin?" cried Minerva as she opened the door to the dining room.

Severus didn't hear any reply but clearly the boy had communicated to her that she was correct because Minerva ran past Severus and flew out of the door. Within a minute Severus, Minerva, and Poppy had taken off in separate directions leaving the Headmaster in the doorway with a puzzled look on his face.

* * *

Harry found that climbing a tree in a dress and without shoes was easier said than done. It was an old oak on the playground. She was far enough from the house but she had wanted to run a lot further – to the end of the world. But she had taken off without any shoes and the thin white stockings weren't good protection for her feet. They arched especially after she had crossed a gravel path. The branches were pulling at her as she carefully ascended.

She needed to get out of sight. She had her eyes on two branches further up. They were close enough together that she could sit on one and lean against the other. She finally reached the branches and sat on the first branch, dangling her feet. The feet of the white stockings were now completely grey with dirt. Her left foot still throbbed slightly. She raised it and grabbed it with her hand to get better look. Grey and red. She was bleeding.

What was she going to do now? Where would she go? Would they even look for her? She really wished she could have taken her wand but the cupboard had been locked. She knew she couldn't use it but she just felt safer with it. She didn't care what they said! She was never coming back! She could handle herself! She could live right here in this tree! She could!

Harry picked a handful of evolving acorns and began tossing them at the ground below her. It created tiny grey dustclouds and Harry imagined she was throwing bombs. She was bombing all of them from above. Privet Drive and Hogwarts! Of course not her friends, they could come and sit in her tree whenever they felt liked it. She knew it was childish but she felt so angry and there was nothing to punch or tear apart. She closed her eyes. She was an idiot! How could she have ever trusted them? She should have known! She _did_ know! Somehow she had still managed to place some trust in them otherwise it wouldn't hurt so much. Well, they could all just go to hell! She sighed and tossed the last acorn. However she when she didn't hear it hit the dusty ground she opened her eyes and looked down. There, below her, was a very familiar and very displeased face.

"I suggest you come down at once," said Snape sternly.

"No!" cried Harry.

"Excuse me? You do not say no to me! Come down here!"

Harry stuck out her tongue at the man. She hadn't expected them to find her this quickly and how could he even see her up in the tree? Of course her tossing acorns would have given her away. Snape sighed below her.

"Come down. We need to talk."

"I'm done with talking! I told you to leave me alone!" cried Harry.

"I'm not going to stand here and converse with a squirrel! Come down here! _I_ wish to speak to you. _Privately,_ " commanded Snape.

Harry considered this. Snape wanted to speak to her alone? About what?

"You'll just make me go back there!" argued Harry.

"If I wanted to force you I would have already done that! Now come down here!"

 _If he wanted to force me? So he isn't going to? He won't make me go back there?_ Either way Harry figured she didn't have much of a choice. He _could_ probably force her. Harry shrugged and made a decision. Then she jumped off the branch. She whirled through the air for a few seconds before she suddenly stopped midair. But she wasn't flying. No, Snape had caught her. She grimaced when she realized that _Snape_ was holding her. Then she was unceremoniously dumped back onto the ground. She winced as her injured foot made contact with it.

"What on _earth_ were you thinking?" hissed Snape as he grabbed her shoulders.

"It wasn't that far," protested Harry.

"You could have broken your neck!"

"It always looks further than it is!" argued Harry.

Snape closed his eyes for a moment and pressed his lips together as if he was fighting the urge to say something. He opened his eyes again and glared at her.

"Come with me," he said and pulled her with him over to a bench where he sat down. Harry sat as well. She didn't understand what was going on.

"I need to tell you something and I may not get another chance to say this in a while so it is important that you listen!" said Snape and gave her a look as if to see if she was already ignoring him. Satisfied that he had her attention he continued:

"I want you to understand once and for all that professor McGonagall and I disagree with the Headmaster and will not allow him to send you back next summer – even if it might have seemed that way to you. I know you don't feel you have any reason to trust us but it is important that you do. Under no circumstances may you share this with anyone. Professor Dumbledore must not know."

"But," said Harry. "You _agreed_ with him! And you said you would put me in Slytherin!"

"We need time to plan this properly. We have no good alternatives to present him with and he is using that against us. That doesn't mean we are going to stop trying. And we will win this. As for resorting you, that would give me more control over you and may help us."

Harry studied the man. That had to be a lie. She couldn't see how this would do anything besides allow Snape to boss her around. Still, she nodded.

"If you are in Slytherin I can better protect your person – and your rights," continued Snape.

"Besides," he smirked. "Did we not agree you look good in green?"

Harry huffed.

"So what do you want me to do then?" she asked.

"Return with me to Privet Drive. Let us handle it. Say as little as possible to the Headmaster and do not speak of this conversation. I promise you, you will not have to go back here!"

"Okay," said Harry silently. It wasn't like she had much of a choice. She would have to go back she knew that. She didn't believe for a second that Snape actually could do something and she was certain she would have to run away again – still it was nice to hear him say it.

"I mean it. I do not break my promises. Don't do anything stupid," Snape said sternly and tapped his finger on her shoulder for emphasis.

"I promise, sir," replied Harry.

"Very well, then shall we go? How on earth did you run this far without shoes?" said Snape and raised an eyebrow.

Harry moved her injured foot under the bench but not fast enough.

"Are you hurt? Let me see!" commanded Snape and reached for her foot.

Harry whimpered in response but he still raised it and looked at the grey and red mess.

"By Merlin, you are really more trouble than you are worth!" stated Snape before he got up.

Harry was about to get up and follow him but she never got that far as Snape effortlessly picked her up and flung her over his shoulder.

"Hey, I can walk by myself!"

"You are not making that cut worse and I am not levitating you down a muggle street!"

With that Snape turned and began walking back towards Privet Drive. Harry hung limply over his shoulder and watched as the distance between her and the oak became greater with each step Snape took.

 **TBC**


	17. Chesspieces and puzzlepieces

**A/N: I own and make nothing. It belongs to the beautiful blonde!**

* * *

Severus' footsteps were loud in the quiet street. In the distance he had seen a group of children running by but otherwise it seemed most people were either in their backyards or their living rooms at this hour. What time was it now? Severus figured it had to be at least 9 o'clock by now. The girl he was carrying was silent. That suited him well. He wasn't quite sure he trusted her not to run off again. She might have agreed to do as he suggested but he still didn't believe she trusted him. Who did he have to thank for that? The Dursleys, the Headmaster and if he had to admit it – Minerva too. Had she ever received any attention that wasn't misplaced? The Dursleys seemed to be either neglecting her or punishing her too harshly. The Headmaster and Minerva seemed to be either ignoring her or rewarding her for breaking the rules they themselves set for her. Neither did anything to establish any trust. The girl was much too light. In fact as he walked in thought he almost forgot he was carrying her. Poppy's warnings about her weight were clearly sound.

"Severus! Severus, did you... OH! Harry! Oh, thank heavens!" gasped Minerva who was half running towards them.

The child who had until now remained calm began squirming in his grasp, eager to wiggle herself free and get down but Severus held her firmly in place.

"Oh no! Is she alright? What happened!" cried Minerva.

"She will live. She cut her foot trying to flee without shoes. I found her in a tree," growled Severus.

He was pleased Minerva cared about the girl but she didn't need to fuss so. Poppy could take care of it. Speaking of which where was Poppy?

"Harry, what were you thinking?" asked McGonagall as she walked around Severus to face her.

"Surely, she made that perfectly clear," snapped Severus before the girl had a chance to answer.

He continued on his path with McGonagall following.

"Harry, I don't intend to..." began Minerva.

"Professor Snape already explained that me," said the girl and once again attempted to wiggle free.

Severus rolled his eyes and mentally readied himself as they came up to the house. When they arrived the door was open and he could hear Poppy's voice coming from within. She was standing in the hallway with Dumbledore.

"I didn't find any trace of her!"

"Then we will hope the others had more luck," said the old man thoughtfully.

"We did," sneered Severus as he walked through the front door and carefully put the girl down.

"Oh, Harry! I was so worried!" cried Poppy and rushed over to her.

"She has injured her foot," said Snape matter-of-factly.

The girl kept her eyes to the floor as Poppy frowned and began simultaneously scolding her for being so foolish and comforting her for having suffered so. The witch ushered her into the kitchen to tend to the cut. As they passed the Headmaster he called out to the girl but she ignored him completely. It was with a great deal of satisfaction the Severus observed the sorrow in the old man's eyes. Minerva closed the front door.

"Headmaster, there is one more thing I would like to discuss with you," said Severus, his face completely void of any emotion.

"Oh?" inquired Dumbledore who seemed to have been deep in thought.

"I understand that she will return here next summer but is it necessary for her to stay for the remainder of _this_ summer?"

"Do you have some place you believe she should be?" said the Headmaster.

The serious tone was still in his voice and it took everything Severus had in him to remain a blank mask under the man's gaze.

"You have just witnessed how emotionally distressed she is," Minerva cut in. "We should keep her with us until she is more stable."

"In other words you would take her to Hogwarts?" Dumbledore pointed out. "Did I not just say..."

"Only for the rest of the summer. Perhaps she might even visit with friends. She will need some time to come to terms with everything. You know her relatives will only add wood to the fire."

"Allowing her to leave now would be counterproductive, Severus. She needs to think of this place as her home. Taking her away from here immediately after she has begged me to do so would only make her think I might actually consider doing so permanently."

"We will need to sort out her identity. I sincerely hope you intend to let her have a say in those discussions and unless you really prefer having such meeting in a muggle home I am sure you will agree that we will all be much more comfortable at the castle," continued Severus.

"Even so, I would have her stay at least another month. If we need her we may call upon her."

"She will run away. You have already seen her do it. What if the next time we cannot find her? What if someone else finds her first? I can promise you this, Headmaster, she truly hates you. You will not have her loyalty if you proceed to alienate her this way."

The old man seemed to consider this. Severus held his breath and silently prayed for a miracle. He and Minerva needed to be patient and figure this out but he knew he couldn't possibly perform his best if he was going to constantly worry that the girl had either run away or had been crushed to death by her cousin. He didn't understand it. He didn't understand why it meant so much to him now but it did.

"Three days," said Dumbledore.

"But Albus!" protested McGonagall.

"Three days. Then you may bring her. She will stay here long enough to calm down. I insist upon this so don't you two start fighting me again."

Severus nodded. It wasn't the best possible outcome but the fact that he had managed to get him to agree was amazing enough in itself. Three days. He could work with that. He turned and exchanged looks with Minerva.

"I will take my leave now. I will expect you all back in an hour. _One hour,_ " said the Headmaster and gave both of his staffmembers a pointed look. "Severus, I will discuss the letters with you then."

"Very well, Albus," said Minerva sullenly. "We will say our goodbyes."

Severus simply gave a slight nod to the Headmaster and turned to enter the kitchen. The old man could see himself out. Severus knew very well that their success largely depended on not pushing the man too far, too quickly but he already knew they were outraged and so Severus felt no obligation to be polite to the Headmaster. Behind him he could hear Minerva following him to the door. Severus entered the kitchen with a frown on his face that deepened when the first sound he heard upon entering was the girl whimpering. She was sitting on the kitchentable. Her stockings had been removed and Poppy was holding her foot and waving her wand over it, mumbling spells.

"Ai, stop it! That hurts!" whined the girl but Poppy continued to hold the foot in an unnatural angle so she could see better.

"Would you rather have an open wound? Running away without shoes! Can you not go two weeks without making a foolish stunt, you little dunderhead?" sneered Snape, letting more of his aggression towards the Headmaster seep into his voice than he intended.

"Severus!" chided Poppy.

The girl looked up at him with wide eyes but quickly returned her attention to her foot as Poppy finally let it go. Severus took a deep breath and walked over to the two of them.

"The Headmaster has left," he told everyone and no one. "He wishes that you remain here for another three days. Afterwards we have permission to bring you to Hogwarts."

* * *

Harry stared at the man in front of her. Three days? Just three days and they would take her away? If it was that easy why had he made it sound so difficult earlier? She was really going away? No! There had to be a catch! Why did she have to wait for three days? Harry had her suspicions. So she would let them leave and then they wouldn't come back. She would be left here waiting and even if he spoke the truth she had heard Dumbledore herself and he was pretty firm on the whole 'not leaving Privet Drive' thing.

"Three days? He agreed to that?" asked Pomfrey as she threw the stockings in the bin.

"He did," said McGonagall as she walked into the room. "But he still very much intends to send her back next year!"

"Is there anything I can do?" inquired Pomfrey as she turned to face the other adults.

"Certainly," confirmed Snape.

"Harry, we are going to come and see you every day! I promise," said McGonagall as she walked over to Harry.

Harry narrowed her eyes and carefully jumped off the kitchen counter – taking great care to land on her good foot. They would come and see her? Perhaps they really meant it this time? She was really going back to Hogwarts? Not long ago she had sworn she would never go there again but in truth she really wanted nothing more. Hogwarts was beginning to feel very much like home. Her objection had only been because _they_ were there. She studied the three adults in front of her. She knew Snape felt some sort of obligation towards her. She wasn't really sure why Pomfrey would care. Even if she had expected the opposite she was overjoyed that McGonagall cared. When Snape had told her about their thoughts all she could think was: _Why do you care? What's in it for you?_ She was more willing to trust McGonagall. True, she hadn't proven to be much help in the past but Harry respected the woman above all other adults. She was her Head of House!

Harry felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. She _was_ her Head of House. For now. Snape had said he'd get her moved and Harry hadn't objected at the playground because she hadn't dared provoke him out there. She stood there and tried putting weight on her recently healed foot. It was a little sore but otherwise fine.

"Professor?" she whispered and looked up at McGonagall.

Pomfrey was busy interrogating Snape as to what had happened during his stay there.

"Yes, Harry?" smiled McGonagall.

"Do... I don't really have to be a Slytherin, do I?" Harry said hopefully.

McGonagall paused.

"I don't know, Harry. The Headmaster agreed to it. I would prefer to keep you certainly but if it will help you I must allow it."

"But I don't want to!" said Harry, no longer whispering.

The two other adults looked up when they heard her raise her voice. McGonagall put her hand on Harry's shoulder.

"I know. Harry, I don't know exactly what will happen yet. We must go in a moment but I will come and see you tomorrow. Hopefully I will have more to tell you," she replied.

Harry nodded. She knew she could hardly ask for more. In fact, did McGonagall not allow her to listen in earlier? She hadn't considered that. Harry suddenly felt no doubt that McGonagall would share anything important with her. Maybe this was like what the professors had done with the Headmaster? Had they not simply agreed with him but claimed they would fight him later? Perhaps she should say nothing more of it for now and fight it when they time came. When she had thought of some good arguments.

"You promise to come?" said Harry, smiling for the first time that evening.

"I do," nodded McGonagall.

"We should ward her room," said Pomfrey.

"Indeed, I will go speak to Petunia about feeding her," added Snape.

"Come along, Harry," said McGonagall and Harry followed her and Pomfrey upstairs.

The witches began waving their wands over Harry's bedroom door. They were mumbling incantations Harry had never heard before.

"There! Walk inside," said Pomfrey and gently pushed Harry towards it.

As she entered she felt a strange sensation. It disappeared as soon as she was inside. She reached out and placed her hand in the door opening and instantly felt it on her hand.

"What is it?" she asked with fascination in her eyes.

"A bit of warding combined with a muggle repellent spell," smirked McGonagall. "You relatives can no longer enter this room."

"Really?" said Harry she kept playing with the wards, pulling her hands in and out of the strange forcefield.

"You have bloodwards around this house too as you know, only you cannot feel those," informed Pomfrey.

"Thank you!"

That was all Harry could say. She could have used something like this ages ago but to have it now was better than not having it at all.

"We will be going now, Harry, but I'll see you tomorrow," said McGonagall.

"Goodbye professor! Goodbye Madam Pomfrey," said Harry.

She could have followed them to the door but she was so delighted with the wards and she would like to be behind them once the professors had left the house. The women nodded and wished her goodnight before they walked down the stairs. Harry heard the front door shut behind them. She was alone now. Alone with the Dursleys but she didn't feel that way. McGonagall would come and see her tomorrow. It was one night. She could manage that.

* * *

Severus was waiting in the front yard when the witches came outside. He had spend his last minutes in the house threatening the Dursleys with fire and ice and the devil himself if they didn't take care of the girl to the best of their ability over the next three days. He still didn't feel comfortable with leaving her here. He knew the girl hadn't told Minerva everything there was to know but he also knew they couldn't force her to. Albus Dumbledore was waiting for them and Severus was eager to to speak to the old man. He needed to know about Lily's letters! The Headmaster claimed to have known nothing but was that really so? And if Dumbledore had been the one to receive the letters why did he not deliver them? True, Severus was a deatheater at the time but after he had switched sides Dumbledore had never mentioned them.

"Are you ready?" inquired Severus and the two ladies nodded.

Together they proceeded out of the front yard and onto the pavement. As soon as they set foot on the pavement Severus felt a strange sensation as though something was moving just behind him. He swirled around to find nothing. His colleagues looked equally alarmed.

"Did you feel that?" shrieked Pomfrey.

Severus' eyes narrowed. _It couldn't be. No, he surely would not have..._ He raised his wand and checked the wards. Then his eyes widened in shock. He reached out his hand and immediately felt resistance. It was strong, powerful, undeniable.

"I cannot believe it," whispered Minerva who had followed Severus' example.

"What is it?" asked Poppy.

"We are locked out," hissed Severus between clenched teeth.

"Why would he do this?" said Minerva, shaking her head in disbelief.

"You mean...?" gasped Poppy.

"We are no longer able to walk past the bloodwards," confirmed Severus.

* * *

The Headmaster was sitting behind his desk watching the three staffmembers. Poppy and Minerva had both taken a seat in the visitorchairs but Severus couldn't sit down. He was torn between pacing and shouting at the man but he knew neither would help them. He was absolutely furious. How dare he lock them out? Of course he likely knew one of them would visit the girl and attempted to prevent it. Why? Did he really need her to feel so disconnected from the magical world? Severus had to admit that it would likely work. If the girl felt abandoned there, any hope of being rescued would soon fail her. But could he not see how angry and bitter this would make her? He knew everything about it. How dark your mind could get when you felt abandoned and powerless. When no one seemed to care about you. When you lost the only light in your life.

"Severus, calm down," said the old man to the younger and oddly completely blank-faced man.

Severus scowled at Dumbledore and crossed his arms. He wanted answers now. No, he _demanded_ them.

"Did Lily leave letters intended for me with you?"

He hadn't meant to be this direct but he wanted it confirmed once and for all.

"She did," said Dumbledore with sorrowful eyes. "And before any of you jump to conclusions, let me say I never saw the content of either of those letters."

"You expect me to believe..." hissed Severus.

"Severus!" interrupted the Headmaster and silenced him with a wave of his hand. "The letters are spelled to only be opened by you. Of course I could have broken it if I had wished to but I wouldn't so betray Lily."

"Betray her? You _did_ betray her! She was calling for help and you promised to deliver those letters!" roared Severus, causing Minerva to jump.

"You do not understand. Please, sit down and let me explain," said the Headmaster completely unaffected.

"Perhaps you might also explain what you did to the wards," frowned Minerva.

"All in good time."

The old man reached into the bottom drawer in his desk and seemed to be rummaging though quite a lot of papers before he finally produced two envelopes. He placed them upon the desk and Severus quickly stepped closer to study them. He only needed to take one look at his own name scribbled upon the front on them to recognize Lily's handwriting. He instantly reached out for them but Dumbledore placed a protective hand upon them.

"Severus, before you read these, I need you to understand something. When Lily came to me I knew you to be within the Dark Lord's ranks. You must understand she came to me completely out of sorts. She seemed anxious, possible paranoid to me. I hadn't seen her in quite a while. James had told me she suffered from postpartum depression and when I saw her I had no reason to doubt that. She handed me the first letter and begged me to somehow have it delivered to you. I was surprised to say the least as I had been under the assumption that the two of you hadn't spoken since you left school. I naturally questioned her but she refused to tell me why she wished to contact you."

"I remember being told she had been taken excellent care of. Imagine my surprise to hear she had given birth without a healer present!" said Poppy.

"I can well imagine," continued Dumbledore but did not otherwise address Poppy's comment. "I thought it might be a spontaneous desire to see you and accepted the first letter. I did not attempt to contact you as I was sure she would reconsider or forget about it herself. I had no desire to bring her into contact with you, Severus, because at the time you were the enemy and I would not let her endanger herself by speaking to you."

"I would never hurt Lily! You know I never would! Did I ever give you any reason to believe otherwise?" hissed Severus.

"If not you then your associates certainly would. Let me ask you this, Severus, if Lily had come to you and begged you to put her in contact with Lucius Malfoy with no explanation would you let her?"

"That is in no way the same! How dare you compare..."

"Yes, I know, but I'm afraid I do not have a proper analogy. My point is I would not risk her like that. Of course when she arrived with her second letter I could no longer deny her seriousness. I began to suspect... Well, I knew how close you had once been, I knew that is was likely the reason she wished to see you. I couldn't be sure of course but she seemed so eager to contact you that I had to consider the possibility of her defecting."

"Lily? Albus, what are you saying? Lily risked her life countless times for the cause!" cried Minerva in outrage.

"So did Sirius Black," Severus spat because he realized he was supporting Dumbledore's argument.

"People have done stranger things for love, Minerva," said the Headmaster. "I tried to dissuade her of contacting you and admitted to not sending the letter but she would neither explain herself nor give up so I informed her that the reason I could not deliver the letter was because I had been informed that Severus was dead. I attempted to convince her that I had only concealed the death from her so she wouldn't be hurt. She refused to believe me, saying that it couldn't be so. She handed me another letter and told me that if you turned out alive I should deliver it. I promised to do so if it would give her some peace of mind. I was very worried and I contacted James. He told me her depression had worsened but that he and his friends were taking care of her the best they could. I suggested letting her see a healer but James assured me Lily needed to be near the baby. Of course the last time I saw her here she confronted me about the letters and I was most surprised to find her furious."

"James kept her away from the rest of us, how would she have discovered the truth?" asked Minerva.

"It seems the culprit was Sirius Black," replied the Headmaster. "He spotted you when he followed Lucius Malfoy after the Cullings attack."

Severus swallowed. He had not personally been part of the attack on that muggle family but he _had_ rescued Lucius when they were attacked by the Order. Lucius had been badly hurt at the time and Severus had apparated him away to a safer location. He had been so preoccupied with keeping Malfoy conscious even Black could have managed to sneak up on him. It was really rather embarrassing.

"Apparently he let it slip during a conversation at the Potter home and not long thereafter I had a furious Lily in my office demanding to know whether the letters had been delivered. I then informed her that I neither could nor would deliver them as long as I considered it a risk to her. This, you will find is my part in this whole mess."

Severus closed his eyes and exhaled. He was furious still but he had to admit he would likely have done the same in the Headmaster place. No, that wasn't entirely true. He would likely have been less moral and obtained the information by force if he really believed it was about Lily's life and death. Of course Legillimens was not socially acceptable and nothing screamed 'I don't trust you' quite as much. He was happy to know Dumbledore was above it when it came to Lily. He might have seen... Severus didn't want to think about that.

"With that in mind I have no objection to you opening these. They are for you after all," said the Headmaster and gently pushed the letters towards Severus.

He reached out with a slightly trembling hand and pick up the first letter. It glowed slightly when his fingers made contact with it and Severus carefully opened it. This appeared to be the first letter. It contained what Petunia had already informed him it would in roughly the same wording. The others were clearly curious but he put the letter back in the envelope and pocketed it before reaching for the other one.

 _Dear Sev!_

 _I really hope you get this! They told me you were dead_  
 _but I couldn't believe it! I need to speak_  
 _to you! Please, James has gone absolutely_  
 _crazy! I thought he would get over it_  
 _but I'm frightened, Sev, you should see_  
 _what he did to our daughter! I know you said_  
 _you would not leave them. That you couldn't_  
 _but please, Sev, if you ever loved me – help us!_  
 _I know you might not believe me but she_  
 _really is ours. I know you must be angry with me._  
 _I understand. I tried to trick you but I know you_  
 _are a good man! I know you don't believe in all_  
 _those things! You said I couldn't possible understand_  
 _what it is to be powerless. I can now._  
 _Please, go to Tuney! I know you have many questions_  
 _and she is the only one who can answer you._  
 _I know you won't speak to Dumbledore but please_  
 _go and see Petunia! It is too risky right now for you_  
 _to contact me directly. The Order is guarding us._  
 _Sev... If anything should happen to me before you_  
 _get this – go see Petunia first and then please_  
 _take her away from James! I will wait for you._

 _Love, Lily_

Severus stared at the letter. He didn't realize until he suddenly gasped for air that he had momentarily stopped breathing. He had had a pretty good idea of what it would say but it was something else to actually see it. It felt terrible. Here it was in black and white and no longer cryptic. This time he had it in Lily's hand. He could not fail now. Not after everything he had done to Lily and the girl. He could not leave her to slowly wither away with her relatives. She was not simply Dumbledore's weapon. She was a person.

"Severus?" said Minerva and tryingly held out her hand in hopes of being allowed to read it.

"You... I should have... I can't do this," he managed to get out.

In a moment, Poppy was out of her chair and attempting to get Severus to take her seat. He collapsed into the armchair and hid his face in his hands, letting the letter fall to the floor.

"Severus, breathe! Do you need a Calming Draught?" said Poppy.

Severus sneered at her. Absolutely not! He wouldn't be fussed over. He just needed a moment. Well, he needed to be alone.

"Perhaps we should continue this another night?" asked the Headmaster.

Minerva had picked up the letter from the floor and was finishing reading through it.

"I think we had better not," she disagreed. "Before we go anywhere, Albus, why did you alter the wards?"

"She doesn't need you interfering. She needs to calm down and feel at home," replied Dumbledore.

"How is she supposed to feel at home there?" cried Poppy. "They lock her up and neglect to feed her! That's childabuse, Headmaster! And we don't even know everything!"

"I have someone watching the house," began Dumbledore.

" _Who_ exactly?" said Severus. "And just where were they all those years?"

"Mrs Figg cannot possibly be watching every minute and neither, I might add, can you."

"You left her with that old hag? So you have never actually bothered to go there and check on her yourself? Not even _once_?" said Severus as he lept up from the chair.

He already knew this of course but that didn't make him any less angry.

"Neither of you will contact her these three days. I will expect you to remain here. We will need to plan for her arrival. I will need to consider what to do with her and before you all start I _will_ be taking her wishes and yours into account of course! Whenever possible."

Severus huffed and Poppy placed a hand on his arm in an attempt to calm him. Severus snatched the letter back from Minerva. He needed to get out of there before Poppy decided to put him in the infirmary. He was going to return to his own quarters and knock himself out with a few potions. Tomorrow the three of them would have to begin planning their next move. He simply nodded to the Headmaster before leaving the office. Words were too dangerous.

 **TBC**


	18. Night clouds

**A/N: I own and make nothing**

* * *

Harry hadn't been alone for long before her uncle stormed up the stairs. At first she was afraid but as soon as he hit the barrier his desire to enter left him. Later that night Dudley attempted to enter but found himself unable to. It ended in him throwing a fit. Aunt Petunia didn't show at all. Harry eventually felt safe enough to curl up in her bed.

The next morning came and Harry was feeling anxious. She crept out of her room just long enough to go to the bathroom but quickly returned. It was better to wait there until McGonagall returned was it not? There was a knock on the door later on and Harry opened it to find a tray with a glass of water and a few pieces of toast. There was nothing on the bread but Harry didn't complain. Petunia had actually brought her breakfast? Noon came and went and so did Harry's good mood. When was McGonagall coming? Would she not be here until evening? A little voice in the back of her mind whispered: _See? I told you! They were lying. And you were stupid enough to fall for it._ No, McGonagall would come! She had promised to come! She just had to be patient. _She is not coming. She doesn't care about you. They just wanted to fulfill their duty. They tried didn't they? And now you're no longer their problem!_ They said they would not let Dumbledore decide! They said they would do something! They are coming to take her away. _She said she would be here didn't she? Do you really believe they are keeping their promises?_

Now it was early morning. Harry was sitting on the floor in her room. She hadn't slept at all. She had stayed awake and waited. She prayed over and over again that she was just delayed and would come and prove Harry's suspicions wrong. She hadn't been abandoned here. _Yes, you have!_ Her eyes were red and cheeks moist. She rose and looked out through the bars. There were no stars out tonight. The nightsky was covered with thick grey clouds. She remembered the tree in the playground and wished she could be there now. High above everything and everyone. By association her thoughts moved to Snape and the conversation she had had with him there. Snape was liar. _No surprise there._ But why did it hurt so much? He wasn't the one who had promised to arrive but still she felt that him abandoning her here was the worst offense. Was it because of what he said to Dumbledore? Was it because of how he had offered to take her himself? Granted, she would have fought that with teeth and nails. He _hated_ her! He did and he still had offered that just to take her away. Someone that committed to removing her should have made McGonagall come and see her or seen her himself shouldn't he? He had asked her to be patient. What was she supposed to do? Wait here for them for eternity? _Once a liar, always a liar._

Well, she wouldn't wait here forever! One more day that's all they'd get!

* * *

Early the next morning after the meeting in Albus Dumbledore's office three people met in one of the greenhouses. Out of the three Poppy Pomfrey was the only one looking somewhat human. She was already dressed in her uniform and her eyes were bright. Minerva was still wearing her bottle-green dressing gown though her hair was already up in a bun. The woman looked half awake and rather bitter. The third person was Severus who showed up in the same robes he had worn the night before and collapsed in his bed wearing. His greasy hair was messy and the dark circles under his eyes very noticeable. Where Poppy seemed well rested and Minerva seemed still asleep, Severus looked as though he hadn't even closed his eyes though he had in fact been sleeping throughout the night with the aid of a strong sleeping draught.

"Severus, are you well?" inquired Poppy.

Severus completely ignored her question. He wasn't about to have _that_ discussion. He most certainly wasn't well! He had not only found out he had a daughter, but the love of his life had been imprisoned before her death, the Headmaster had kept information from him and the girl was living with abusive relatives and he was not permitted to do anything about it. He most certainly _wasn't_ well! The only thing he could think of was how this was all his fault. Lily had waited for him. If only he had followed her when he had the chance, he would have known about the child and he would have been able to help Lily!

"We need to find a suitable place for her," he said out of the blue.

"We have at least until next summer," replied Minerva. "I think it much more important what we will do while she is here at Hogwarts."

"No doubt you are thinking about my demanding a resorting?" sneered Severus and crossed his arms.

"She doesn't want to, Severus! She needs her friends now more than ever!" replied the lioness.

"If they are her friends they will continue to be. What she needs is to be where the Headmaster cannot control her. Slytherin is the house he has the least power over."

"And why is that?" asked Pomfrey.

"I happen to run a house with some very involved and very vocal parents with high positions in society. If he began meddling with Slytherin affairs he would have to deal with them. He is not that dense. It would bring a huge amount of unwanted attention. Simply it being him would provoke them whereas the parents of the Gryffindors seem to worship the ground he walks on or at least think he can do no wrong."

Minerva frowned at that.

"Severus, that is hardly fair!"

"But it is correct. Moving her out of Gryffindor would greatly benefit us."

"Why not one of the other houses then?" asked Poppy.

"Why do something halfway?"

"Well, I suppose I can kiss the Quidditch cup goodbye then," smiled Minerva sorrowfully.

"I will not pretend that isn't a welcomed bonus!" smirked Severus.

"I promised to come and see her today. She is going to be heartbroken!" continued Minerva.

"Wards or no wards! She hurt herself running away. I will go to Surrey and watch the house," said Poppy.

"And what will you tell Albus?" inquired Minerva. "I too would go in a heartbeat but he will be watching us."

"I do not trust her not to run away again," stated Severus.

And so Albus Dumbledore found himself having a most peculiar day. Three of his staff members were currently to be watched closely. He couldn't honestly say he expected all of them to obey him. He was especially thinking of Severus who he knew to have a temper and he couldn't trust him not to act spontaneously if his emotions were in it. This was after all a man who had defected from the Dark Lord's ranks and dared to show up at his master's greatest enemy's office because he cared for Lily Evans. Severus might not care for Harry but the fact that this was his daughter should be enough to cause similar actions. Oddly enough he saw Severus several times during the day. The strange thing was that one of the three staff members always seemed to be off during something in some remote part of the castle. Dumbledore was no fool. He knew perfectly well what was going on but he did not have the energy to monitor them. There were more important things to consider.

Every hour Poppy, Minerva and Severus rotated and one of them discreetly left the ground to apparate to Surrey and watch the house. Near the end of the day Poppy was becoming visibly nervous. She was standing in the infirmary when Minerva came through the door.

"Your turn!" said Minerva.

"Did you see her yet?" inquired Poppy.

"No. I haven't seen her at all. I'm beginning to worry. She may be in her room. While I did think the wards necessary I certainly didn't hope she would truly need them."

"If only she would come outside so she might see us," said Poppy.

"I don't like to imagine what she must be thinking," concluded Minerva.

* * *

It was evening on the second day and Petunia knocked on Harry's bedroom door. Harry could hear her aunt informing her that they would retire now before the woman left. The wards had caused quite a stir. Vernon had been furious, Dudley had considered it a challenge for him to catch her when she did go out and Petunia had completely ignored Harry. This effectively meant that the wards were as effective a confinement as the locks had ever been. Harry looked down at her arm where she now had a bruise from when Dudley pushed her halfway down the stairs as she was returning from the bathroom. She carefully traced it with her finger. She didn't exactly smell well at this point as she had only managed quick trips out of the room and only had time to wash her face and hands.

She waited until the house was quiet. In the shopping bags Petunia had brought home had been another pair of stockings, a red coat and another dress. Those objects were now in her closet alongside Dudley's old clothes which she had worn for the previous two days. She opened the closet door and looked at the dress. If possible it was worse that the green one. It was white and frilly with long lace sleeves. But the green dress was lying at the foot of the bed and had not been washed. Should she take her chances with the green one or Dudley's old clothes? She would either look homeless or smell like it. This garment was clean at least. Harry debated this with herself.

Everything Dudley had left her was full of holes – either from wear or because Dudley knew she would get them and had ripped them on purpose. She knew only too well how cold they were and she had no socks to go with them. They were all locked in the trunk in the cupboard. _Hmm... At least the coat will cover it._ Harry made a decision. She took out the dress, stockings and coat and placed them on the bed. Getting the stockings on proved to be the hardest part. Last time, Petunia had put them on her but this time she was all alone. In the end she did manage to rib them slightly in one leg but there was nothing for it. She put on the dress and the black shoes Petunia had gotten. Her sneakers were barely keeping from falling apart as it was.

She didn't have a mirror to look at herself in nor did she have any desire to. She put on the red coat and found it surprisingly warm. She found this was the only garment Petunia had bought that she actually liked. Perhaps she would not have chosen it herself but with the green dress and the threat of a life in Slytherin hanging over her head she felt so comfortable in that color. Perhaps it was foolish. This had never worked before. However, Harry felt so empty inside. She was restless. She could not bear to stay here, waiting forever for people who would not show up. It was much better to take matters into her own hands. She knew it would be difficult but she was certain she would manage somehow. At least until they caught her.

Harry carefully crawled down the stairs. She could hear uncle Vernon snoring and that was certainly a good sign. She had her blanket folded up under her arm. There was nothing else to take with her. Everything she owned was in her trunk. She had released Hedwig into the night that evening when the house elf visited. She had since seen the owl in the trees around the block but she hadn't allowed Hedwig to return to her cage as she could no longer send her out through the window and did not think the Dursleys would let her take her out. Therefore it was with a sigh of happiness that Harry noticed the white owl sitting on a branch in the neighbors peartree when she first stepped out through the door.

"Hey, girl," she whispered and waved to the bird.

The bird gave her an accusing look and Harry suddenly felt very guilty that she had not spent more time with her. She had been so consumed with everything that was going on that she had completely forgotten. She walked closer to the bird. She was happy to know that Hedwig still recognized her. Of course she still smelled the same. She still was the same person. Nothing could really change her. Nothing would change her. She smiled at the bird. She knew Hedwig would follow her. Harry turned and walked through the front garden. She stepped onto the pavement and turned to get one last look at the bird but she was just in time to see Hedwig taking off into the night.

"What do you think you're doing?" said a voice behind her.

Harry's blood froze and the blanket fell to the ground. She knew that voice. But why? Why here? Why now? A small part of her was relieved. For a mere fraction of an instance she had feared the worst and expected a Death Eater. But then she recognized the low voice. She slowly turned around and looked up at the man. Immediately Snape reached out and grabbed her by the shoulders. His glare was potent. He was looking positively ready to murder her. Perhaps a Death Eater would have been better.

"Which part of 'don't do anything stupid' did you not understand?" asked the professor ominously.

The fear soon gave way to anger and Harry twisted her shoulders and managed to get out of Snape's grasp.

"Leave me alone!" she cried before realizing that waking up the street was not in her best interest.

"Where are you going?" continued Snape.

"None of your business," muttered Harry and walked past him down the street.

She didn't make it more than a few steps before Snape reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her back. She cried out when Snape's long fingers closed around the bruise on her arm and as soon as the sound escaped her lips he released her. He then took her hand.

"What is wrong with your arm? Are you hurt?" he asked.

"No," she replied.

"Then why did you cry out?"

"It's nothing," said Harry and tried to pry Snape's fingers off her hand.

"Don't lie to me. Did anyone hurt you?" demanded Snape sternly.

"Why do you care? Where were you all anyway?" hissed Harry as she finally manage to free her hand.

"I can perfectly understand that you may have questions and I promise you they will be answered eventually but right now you must be honest with me. I mean it. The truth now. Are you hurt?"

Harry studied the man. Why was he here? They had abandoned her! Why was he asking these questions and what right did he have to be cross with her? Well, he hadn't exactly been thrilled when last she ran away. It was just her luck! They leave her there for two days and just when she decides to leave _he_ shows up. And why? _Why_ did she feel so guilty when he looked at her liked that?

"It's just a bruise," she mumbled.

"And how did you obtain it?"

"Dudley shoved me down the stairs," she said quietly.

Snape sighed as if he was deeply exhausted.

"This ends here. Take my arm."

" _What?_ " gasped Harry.

"You heard me. Take. My. Arm. _Now_."

Snape held out his arm for her to take and Harry hesitated long enough to earn herself a particularly nasty glare. Still she eventually took his arm lightly only to have him roughly pull her closer. Then followed the most unpleasant sensation Harry had ever experienced. She felt like she was being crushed from every angle and then pulled into a thin string of spaghetti before she fell to the ground gasping for air. Shortly thereafter she felt her stomach rebel against the treatment and she retched. Her misery had lead to a loss of appetite so while Petunia had provided her with a bowl of cold canned tomato soup she hadn't much to throw up. She was lying on all fours gasping at the soiled grass when she felt a hand take hold of her upper arm and pull her up.

"W...What was _that?_ " said Harry.

"Apparition," stated Snape and began walking, dragging Harry along with him. "I take it this was your first time. It is common to feel... dizzy."

Harry now noticed where they were. There, above her, was the castle. It looked strange to her. While there was still light shining through the windows, several parts were now dark. Probably the student dormitories and other parts not in use. She found it terribly hard to keep up with the professor. She could feel the anger radiating off of him but she didn't really understand why he was this upset. Sure she had broken her promise – but so had they! As they passed she saw lights were on in Hagrid's hut and she suddenly wished she could get out of Snape's grasp and run to visit Hagrid. She didn't get the chance however. Snape took her through the main entrance and into the entrance hall before he stopped and whispered:

"Tallen."

Suddenly a small creature appeared. It looked rather like Dobby but with much longer ears and wearing a tea towel with the Hogwarts crest on it.

"Please, inform professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey that they are to meet me in the Headmaster's office _immediately._ "

The creature bowed deeply and disappeared with a pop.

"Is that where we are going?" asked Harry.

"Indeed," replied Snape and continued up the stairs.

Harry wasn't very pleased with being dragged around but it didn't annoy her as much as the prospect of seeing Dumbledore did. In fact, he was the person she least wanted to see. Snape didn't say a word until they arrived in front of the gargoyle.

"Butterscotch," he sneered and the statue jumped aside.

Once they were on the stairs he finally turned to Harry and let her go.

"Remember what I told you. Say as little as possible. Do exactly as I say, when I say! However, it may serve us well should you keep that attitude and make your displeasure with the Headmaster obvious," said Snape.

 _What?_ He was giving her permission, nay, asking her to appear upset? What was going on?

"I mean it. If I give you an order you do _exactly_ as I say if you wish to leave your relatives' home."

Confused, Harry nodded. She didn't know what to make of this and she didn't trust Snape one bit but she found that between Snape and Dumbledore she would choose to obey Snape in a heartbeat. She believed that Snape wished her removed from Privet Drive but she didn't trust him to truly fight for it. She _knew_ Dumbledore wanted her to stay and she _knew_ he would fight for that. At the moment, Snape was the lesser evil and Harry never thought she would say that about those two people.

* * *

He wasn't in any way sure that the girl would follow instructions but with this particular child he knew he could only hope for the best. Therefore, Severus turned and proceeded up to the door. Once there he knocked and waited until the door swung open by itself. He stepped inside and closed the door behind himself and the girl. The Headmaster was sitting at his desk with his usual grandfatherly twinkly which did nothing to calm Severus. Of course the old man had heard she was here as soon as Severus entered the castle with her.

"Severus, Harry, what a lovely surprise," said Dumbledore and gave Severus a pointed look.

"I can't say I was expecting you, Harry. I was of the understanding that you would remain with you relatives for another day."

" _Headmaster,_ " sneered Snape.

"And I am quite certain I asked you to remain at the castle, Severus. You can imagine my surprise to find you have been in Surrey this evening," continued the Headmaster.

"And you should be thanking your lucky stars that I was!" yelled Severus, raising his voice. He didn't fail to notice the girl flinching as he did. "I warned you, Headmaster, I _told_ you she would run away again!"

Dumbledore paused and shifted his attention to the girl.

"Harry, is this so? Did you leave the blood wards?"

The girl didn't answer. She simply glared at the old man, shrugged and rolled her eyes. Even though this behavior was exactly what Severus had asked of her, it bothered him to see it. He mentally reminded himself that her disrespect was useful to the situation and continued:

"Even you have to see that this isn't working! You send her back there and I can promise you she will be back out there on the street in a matter of hours!"

"What is...?" gasped Poppy as she and Minerva burst through the door.

"Harry!" cried Minerva and rushed to the girl's side where she placed a hand on her shoulder.

"The golden child ran away again," Severus informed them both. "And not only that."

"Severus, what is this?" asked Dumbledore.

"Remove you coat!" Severus ordered the girl.

She stared at him for a moment. Severus narrowed his eyes. _She had better not have forgotten!_ But then she began unbuttoning the red coat. Minerva helped her pull it off and folded it over one of the chairs. Severus reached out and grabbed her right arm. He carefully pulled up the lacy sleeve of what he assumed was another one of Petunia's picks. The girl struggled a little against it at first but he held her hand firmly and continued. The bruise was larger than he had imagined. Clearly she had attempted to protect her head by breaking her fall with her arm.

"Oh no. Harry, how did this happen?" all but whispered Minerva.

"Her cousin did this," Severus replied before the girl could reply. He was leaving out the detail that a staircase had assisted him in it on purpose. She was likely to have had other bruises before from more _direct_ contact. "Is this your definition of 'safe', Headmaster? Because even you must be able to see that..."

"Severus, surely we will find a solution. This is completely unacceptable but she needs the blood wards. This is troubling. Perhaps I can," interrupted Dumbledore.

"SHUT UP!"

Severus spun around. The Headmaster froze and Poppy stood there gaping. Minerva alone seemed unaffected as she was busy staring at the Headmaster as though he was a nice fat mouse.

"I don't care what you think! I'm not staying there and you can't make me! Just shut up!" screamed the girl at Dumbledore.

Slowly the old man rose from his seat and walked around it towards the child.

"It is you who did this, Headmaster, and now it would appear you cannot control her. Well, now she is disobeying you what do you intend to do?" sneered Severus.

"Harry, calm down," said Dumbledore, ignoring Severus completely. "We can talk about this. Sit down."

"I don't ever want to talk to you again. I'm leaving!" cried the girl and wiggled out of Minerva's grasp before turning to the door.

" _Harry,_ " said the old man sternly. "You are not going anywhere. Now please, sit down!"

The girl turned around and seemed to be considering something for a moment. Then she quickly walked back towards the Headmaster but instead of taking a seat in the chair he was indicating she reached out and shoved him. It was nowhere near hard enough to knock the him off his feet, in fact it likely didn't even hurt considering the girl's size but the gesture and the meaning behind it was not lost to anyone in the room. Dumbledore looked absolutely shocked as did Minerva. Poppy stepped backwards. Severus remained a blank mask though he was every bit as surprised. What was she thinking? This was one of the most powerful wizards in the world!

"Harry... I..." said the Headmaster.

"Shut up!" repeated the girl and ran for the door but she never reached it as Severus reached out and grabbed her shoulder.

" _Sit down,_ " he commanded and to his surprise the girl instantly plopped into the chair.

"Fine," said the old man suddenly. "I only ever had her safety in mind whether you chose to believe me or not. Harry, it saddens me deeply that you would feel this way and I want you to know that this was never my intention. That being said I cannot allow you to leave. You will stay in this castle. Severus, since she still seems to obey you I will not only hold you personally responsible for her safety while she is here but I will continue to do so when you become her Head of House."

"I don't want to be a Slyther..." cried the girl.

" _Silence!_ " hissed Severus and the girl's mouth clamped shut.

"Since the three of you have taken an interest in her affairs above and beyond what was _expected_ of you I will have you house her while she is here. About the Dursleys I can only say I will allow you to search for another family in light of her treatment there but if you find no one suitable I will have to send her back though I promise to personally set up wards for her protection. Now, I suggest you leave me to deal with the more serious implications of this."

Severus nodded. Internally he was both celebrating and fuming. How dare he consider the Ministry and public's reactions more important than her wellbeing? On the other hand they had won this battle.

"Come," he said to the girl and headed for the door.

To his relief she obediently followed him out. The witches followed behind her. Once they had left the staircase and were a bit down the hallway, Severus turned to face the girl.

"What was that?" he demanded.

"Was is good enough?" asked the girl.

"Harry, what do you mean? How could you assault the Headmaster?" supplied Minerva.

"You must let me see that bruise!" said Poppy, ignoring the current topic.

"Well, you wanted me to have an attitude with him, right? So was it good enough?"

Minerva send Severus a stern look and he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I did. But I did not ask you to _shove_ him."

"Well, no. I just wanted to do that," grinned the girl. "I wouldn't have done it without you there and besides I thought it might help with your plan. Though I'm surprised he believed it because he has never seen me do what you say like that before" the girl said and shrugged.

Severus raised an eyebrow. So the girl understood what he was doing? But she had taken her part much to seriously. It could have gone very wrong.

"Well, then, I appear to have had a snake in my lion den," mumbled Minerva and smirked at Severus.

At that both Severus and the girl grimaced. However the expressions on their faces were so similar that it caused both Minerva and Poppy to snicker, which in turn earned them two very similar glares that had them laughing.

"Where will she be sleeping tonight?" asked Severus in an effort to silence the two women whose amusement he could not comprehend.

"I wish to have a look at her in the infirmary," replied Poppy when she regained the ability to speak.

"She may stay in my quarters for tonight," said Minerva. "Harry, come with me and Madam Pomfrey to the infirmary now. Then you may come with me and we'll have some biscuits."

Severus rolled his eyes. The girl hadn't been back to the castle an hour and already Minerva was spoiling her with sugar when she should have been in bed hours ago.

"I will see you tomorrow then," he said and gave the girl a pointed look to remind her to behave herself in Minerva's company.

* * *

Harry could hear Snape's heavy footsteps walk down the hallway behind them as she was lead away by Pomfrey and McGonagall. She still didn't know what to make of this and she hadn't enjoyed being bossed around by Snape but getting to yell at the Headmaster was worth it. Madam Pomfrey held Harry's hand the entire walk to the infirmary but Harry didn't know whether this was supposed to be reassuring or to prevent her from running off. She knew however that she was happy to finally be out of Number Four.

"Lie down, Harry. I will only do a scan tonight and then I want you to take a few potions," said Pomfrey.

The mediwitch began waving her wand as soon as Harry had leaned back onto the cot. She couldn't help but think about the last time she had been here. It was that scan that had revealed her. She had gone back and forth on whether or not that was a good thing. The good part was not having to pretend to be a boy. The bad part was learning all those nasty things. Dumbledore was being a jerk. The professors and Pomfrey were neither here nor there. They said one thing to her and another when they thought she couldn't hear them. Then there was this whole _Snape-business_. That, she didn't like to think about. It was better if she didn't. Besides she still hadn't figured out whether to be furious with him over the Slytherin-thing or grateful to him for taking her away and getting the Headmaster to let her stay. She looked up to see Pomfrey frowning above her.

"You have more bruises? On your hip? Your knees?" she said.

Harry shrugged. "Dudley pushed me down."

"Very well. I need you to drink these and then you may go with professor McGonagall," said Pomfrey as she handed her two vials. "That one will heal your bruises and the other is a supplement I would like you to take with every meal from now on."

Harry grimaced. The first one she knew the taste of. It was a common healing potion and it was disgusting. Since it had many uses she had gotten one before for minor scrapes – though Harry would personally have preferred one of the balms she knew Pomfrey also had even if they took more than one application. The second one was actually not terrible. It was still not pleasant but it wasn't making her gag either. Once she had taken them both she jumped down from the cot and followed McGonagall out. She was actually exhausted. Still, a part of her didn't want to go to sleep. What if she woke up back at Privet Drive and it was all a dream? _No,_ she decided. _No one has this weird dreams. Not even me._ But still she had a horrible feeling that she would soon be back there again. She had to be careful and trust no one.

 **TBC**


	19. I will

**A/N: I own and make nothing**

* * *

It was very much like Harry had imagined. She had been in McGonagall's office on several occasions but never in her private quarters. Like Dumbledore's, she noted, they were entered through the office. The walls in her sitting room had a Victorian wallpaper in cream with green plants crawling across it in beautiful patterns. There were bookcases and a cabinet with what appeared to be photographs and awards - some of them for Quidditch. They were seated at a low coffee table in two large wine-colored armchairs. The fireplace was lit and Harry felt very comfortable.

"Have a biscuit," said the professor and pushed the plate over to Harry.

She put down her teacup and took one. There was something she had wanted to speak to McGonagall about and she had planned to do it when she would have come to visit. Why was it even that she didn't? Harry had heard Dumbledore say he had told Snape to stay at Hogwarts but what about McGonagall?

"Umm, professor?" she mumbled and put her half-eaten biscuit down on her saucer.

"Yes, Harry?"

"I was just wondering... Why didn't you come to see me?"

McGonagall lips were pulled in a weak smile and her eyes were sad.

"Well, Harry, we were locked out of the wards. We watched the house from outside. If you had come out earlier you would have seen us. I'm so terribly sorry, Harry. I really did mean to come."

"Why were you locked out?" asked Harry.

"The Headmaster didn't think it a good idea for us to come – but Harry you really mustn't think the worst of him. Professor Dumbledore can be wrong about things too. When he is we will take care of it. We don't need you to fight him for us," she explained. "I believe he has made some great mistakes and that his current ideas are very foolish. Nonetheless I have no reason to doubt his intentions. I know he cares about you and it pains him greatly to see you this angry."

"I don't care. I hate him," huffed Harry.

"I cannot say that it is not justified. But Harry, don't let this consume you. It will be fine. I promise. Now, Harry, finish your biscuit. Would you like a bath before bed?"

Harry considered this. Yes, she did. She didn't smell like roses at the moment but having worn these clothes now they weren't fresh either and she had nothing to change back into. McGonagall had brought her coat back with her but that wasn't enough.

"Thank you, professor, but I just realized I don't have any clothes."

"It's alright. I believe we will be fetching your belongings tomorrow."

But even then...

"But professor, what about tonight?" asked Harry.

"I may shrink some of my own for you. Now, I've placed a second toothbrush in the bathroom that you may use. It's the yellow one. I shall ready your bath for you then," replied McGonagall and rose.

"Umm, professor!"

"Yes, Harry?"

"I was just wondering... I know that the tests said that I'm... related to professor Snape but how is that? I asked him but he wouldn't say?"

McGonagall sighed.

"Harry, I'm honestly not sure whether it is my place to tell you that. I believe professor Snape should be the one to do that."

"But he won't! Please, professor! I just don't understand! I thought it was James! Did he know? What would he think? And there's another thing I don't understand. Did they know I was a girl? Why didn't they tell you?" Harry continued.

"Harry! Calm down! How about this: You go take a bath and get ready for bed and then I will tell you something before you sleep?"

Harry considered this. It was better than nothing. She nodded and got up to follow McGonagall to the bathroom. It was rather large and beautiful with marble floor and sinks. The bathtub there was lowered into the floor and could easily fit three adults. McGonagall flicked her wand and it began filling with water. While Harry waited for it to fill McGonagall left and returned with a plain white nightgown which she shrunk until it was only slightly too big for Harry.

"I'm sorry I don't own any pajamas. Perhaps I should have brought some from the infirmary but I didn't think of it. Now, you take your bath and when you come out we will talk."

A while later Harry emerged from the bathroom in the nightgown. She walked into the living room where she found that McGonagall had transformed her couch into a bed. Harry carefully crawled into it and found it really soft. McGonagall sat in her armchair watching her.

"Harry, you have to understand that people can do wrong things for reasons that seem right to them. One bad deed doesn't make them bad people. Do you know why you had to pretend to be a boy?"

"My aunt?"

"Well, yes, but she was not the one who placed that spell on you."

"My d... I mean James?"

"Yes, it was he who initially told everyone you were a boy. I suspect he was also the one who named you. Your aunt didn't agree with that so she initially raised you as a girl but once you had to enter the world she needed you to be a boy or people would have questioned your name."

"But why would he do that? What did my mum say?"

"Well, Harry, James loved you very much and your mother too but he was very afraid that your mother would tell professor Snape about you and that he would lose you both. Your mother wrote a letter explaining that the 'girl' was professor Snape's and James believed that by transforming you into a boy and replacing your features with his own he would be able to keep you. You mother was not pleased of course and she tried to get help."

"I don't understand. Why didn't she just take me away?" said Harry in a small voice.

"She couldn't, Harry, James wouldn't let her. Sadly none of her letters were delivered."

"He held her _prisoner?_ " cried Harry and sat up on the bed.

"Harry," said McGonagall. "I know this isn't pleasant to hear but please do try to remain calm."

"You lied to me! You all said they loved each other and that my father was a great man!"

"He was. He still died protecting you and your mother. He was still the man I knew. I have no doubt that he loved your mother and you."

"The why would he do that?"

"Some times people do things that only make sense to them. Love is a strong emotion. It can make us do strange things."

"Well, then I'll never love anyone! That is horrible!" huffed Harry.

"Oh, Harry, don't say things like that. I know you are upset. Please, lie down. Was it wrong of me to tell you?" McGonagall said softly.

"I'm alright. Goodnight, professor," mumbled Harry and lay back down.

"Goodnight, Harry. If you need anything, anything at all, please call me," replied McGonagall and rose from her chair. She nodded to Harry and turned down the lights before she left.

Harry was left in the semi-darkness. She pulled the cover over her head and curled up. Her eyes were watering but she made no sound. The worst part of this was that for some reason the idea didn't seem foreign to her. It was almost like being reminded of something you had long since forgotten. She didn't understand were this recognition came from but it made her sick. What was to become of her? Who was she even? She sure as hell was neither James' son nor his daughter and if she had to be honest she no longer wanted to be. Had he really kept her mother locked away? Like she had been at the Dursleys'? But what about her mother? She felt sorry for her. She knew what it was like. But couldn't she have tried harder? Why was it so difficult to leave? Another thought came to Harry. Hadn't his parents, well, James and Lily, been married? So... Had she cheated on James with... _Snape?_ That she could understand would make James angry. And why?

Harry suddenly felt more like an orphan than she ever had in her entire life. She didn't have any parents anymore. Not even pretend ones. She didn't want to be James' daughter because he was the one who had done this to her and her mother. She didn't want to be Lily's daughter because clearly she was the one who had made this mess. She didn't want to be _Snape's_ daughter because that was just wrong... He was a nasty old bat who hated her. Even if he _had_ helped her. Well, he was not to be trusted. With these thoughts whirling around in her head it was a long time until Harry finally fell asleep.

* * *

Minerva looked up in surprise when Severus entered the great hall at breakfast. Poppy wasn't present but Pomona, Irma, Filius and the Headmaster were. In the summer the teachers only dined in the great hall if they chose too, and only those who remained as many either left for the summer or were only there part of the holiday. Severus could not leave the school completely since he was one of the four Heads. Still, he rarely if ever joined the others.

"Good morning, Severus!" smiled Pomona.

Severus nodded to her and walked over to Minerva.

"I would like a word with you," he stated.

Mentioning the whole Harry Potter business here was not a good idea. He knew the other staff members had not yet been involved and should not be until further notice.

"Very well," said Minerva and rose from her seat, leaving her cup of tea behind.

"I would like to see you both in my office at noon," said the Headmaster calmly.

"Of course," nodded Minerva and followed Severus into the hallway.

"Where is she?" inquired Severus once they were alone.

"In my quarters. I let her sleep in. I think the poor girl had a rough night."

"What will we do with her? We cannot let anyone see her until the Headmaster has prepared for the public reaction."

Severus had spent a long time last night considering this aspect. Would the girl remain Harry Potter or would another identity be found for her? Severus knew it wasn't the practical view but he found he really didn't like her continuing as a Potter. Not because she was his rather than James' but because he couldn't stand the thought that she should carry the name of the man who did such things to her mother.

"That is most likely what Albus wishes to discuss. We also need him to accompany us to Surrey so we may get her things. I've had the house elfs wash what she came in so she can wear it today as well but she has nothing else with her. Did she really run away with nothing?"

"I've seen her closet and what she has isn't fit to be called clothes," replied Severus.

"Then I suppose she will have to get more. We might possibly take her to Hogsmeade to get some. I don't suppose anyone will recognize her."

"Perhaps not. When will you take her?"

"Oh, Severus, I that reminds me. I'm behind in my work now and while I enjoy her company she cannot stay in my living room. As for going to Hogsmeade I surely will volunteer if I can find the time. I suggest we discuss this with the Headmaster later today."

Severus nodded. He knew perfectly well Minerva couldn't be there to look after the girl constantly – and the girl needed near constant supervision. Not only because she had recently run away twice but also because that child seemed to get herself in trouble whenever you were not looking. They were all busy however. Poppy more so than Severus and Minerva. This would prove difficult.

* * *

 _No, don't! I already told you!" Harry heard her cry. "Told me? And I'm suppose to believe that? I'm supposed to believe anything?" replied the man. "Please! At least let me.." But the begging was cut short. "NO! I'm not letting him touch MY CHILD! He's not taking anything else! After everything he's done! After everything YOU'VE done! I cannot..." the man yelled. "Don't do this! Can't we talk... No! At least... Listen!" Sounds of a struggle were heard through the grey clouds. "I'm through listening to you! I trusted you and you did this to me! I'm not going to let you ruin this!" The woman clearly moved closer as her voice became louder: "I can't tell you enough how sorry I am, but don't do this! It's insane!" The male followed her. "Or what? You'll run to him will you? And you'll take the baby? Don't you think I know? He'll kill you! Yes, he will! He's one of them, Lily! And you... It's disgusting!" The grey clouds were clearing and slowly becoming a mist. Movement could be seen within the mist as two figures came closer. "How dare you say that!" cried the woman. A flash of red followed as her form swirled closer. "I'm doing this to protect us! From him and from you! You're not in your right mind! How could you be if you are seriously considering..." replied the man darkly. "I? I am out my mind? You're the one with your wand out, James! Calm down!" Just then a shape moved in the mist and the dark silhouette of a wand was pointed towards Harry. "You'll understand. You will see it's for the best. I can't lose you." Then followed a bright yellow light that flashed through the clouds. Harry screamed and as she did her voice melted together with another. The light turned green and the mist cleared away completely. The figure pointing the wand at her was no longer there but she saw the same flash of her mother's red hair as she fell to the floor revealing another figure behind her._

Harry woke up when her body slammed into the floor. For a moment she struggled against the cover she was entangled with – believing she being crushed by a python. The moment she got free she crawled away from the bed and sat on the floor looking around the room. Where was she? What had happened? Oh yeah. This was McGonagall's living room.

"Harry? What are you doing on the floor? Are you well?" said McGonagall who had just appeared in the doorway.

"It's nothing, professor. What time is it?"

"Almost noon. I put your clothes in the bathroom. You may want to change now so you can have a bit of food before I go to see the Headmaster."

"You have to see him?" grimaced Harry.

"Yes, I thought you might find a book to entertain you meanwhile? It's best if you do not leave."

Harry hurried to her feet and went into the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and washed her face before dressing in the clothes she had worn yesterday which seemed to have been cleaned during the night because they smelled fresh. She didn't bother wearing the stockings. Those were torn anyway so she only put on the dress and the shoes. When she came back into the living room there was a plate with toast and fruit on the table with a glass of pumpkin juice. She sat down and finished her meal rather quickly. She was alone since McGonagall had left for her office. As Harry was finishing an apple, McGonagall returned to see if she was done.

"Now, I will be back shortly! It cannot be much more than an hour," said McGonagall as she vanished the plate.

Harry then followed her with her eyes as McGonagall left for the Headmaster's office. What was this about? Why wasn't she invited too? She suddenly realized she _had_ shoved Dumbledore the night before and he wasn't likely to be happy about that. She wasn't the least bit sorry she did it but she also didn't know what to do with herself. Was he going to be very angry? Would he send her back for it? No, then he would have done so last night, right?

Harry sat for a while and thought about this. She didn't like that they were going to speak without her present. She had already overheard one of their discussions and found that there was a lot of things said that she would have wished to weigh in on. Harry felt powerless. Last night she had felt somewhat better since Snape actually gave her something to do. She would have preferred to be told of the plan beforehand and not have had to figure it out for herself in there but it was still something. If she could have had anything she would wish to make all the decisions herself but she knew they weren't at all likely to let her. Still it was something. It did occur to Harry that maybe, just maybe, they weren't going to talk about her. After all they _were_ running the school too. Not knowing wasn't nice. What was she supposed to do? Just sit here for an hour?

She got up and moved over to McGonagall's bookcase. Perhaps she should read a book after all? She browsed the titles. Most of them were academic. They were mostly transfiguration books and charms books. She found a few on Quidditch and was momentarily excited until she realized that they were not current and instead were biographies of former Quidditch players or books that were at least thirty years old. Above her she could see some that appeared to be defense against the dark arts – judging by the titles but she couldn't reach them. She finally settled for a history book about the highland clans that at least seemed slightly interesting.

Harry wasn't sure how much time had passed but she was certain it had to have been more than an hour. She had given up trying to read and was instead browsing the images. There were several colorful pictures of family crests and kilt-wearing wizards. A few pages ago Harry had come across the McGonagall clan which had peaked her interest until she found that the history started ages ago and she couldn't be bothered to read through it all. She put the book on the coffee table and sighed. Where was McGonagall? She could have entertained herself just fine if she was permitted to walk around the castle. At the very least could she not go to the library? There at least she knew they had books that actually interested her! But she couldn't be seen. Harry wished she had her invisibility cloak with her but that was hidden inside a shirt and locked in her trunk.

Then again, couldn't she take a quick trip to the library anyway? There couldn't be that much staff at Hogwarts this time of year and she would be careful. Harry poked the book on the table with her foot. She was going to die from boredom that was for sure! Of course she should be back before McGonagall returned. She got up from the chair and walked into McGonagall's office. There was an antique clock hanging on the wall. It was almost half past one. She wasn't exactly sure what time it was when McGonagall left but she knew it was before noon. And hadn't McGonagall said only an hour? Well, she might as well do it. There was no telling when the professor would be back and Harry was pretty sure she would go mad soon. She walked over to the door and stepped outside. She left the door slightly open. She knew the doors were locked magically and she didn't want to risk coming back and being unable to enter. The girl turned and began sneaking to the library.

* * *

"I see you are already here," Severus stated as he walked into the Headmaster's office and found Minerva sitting there.

"Good afternoon," nodded the witch.

Just then the door to the Headmaster's private quarters opened and the old man stepped out. Severus tensed up at the sight of him.

"I have called you here today to inform you of my plans. I would have had Poppy be present but she is currently at St. Mungo's. I will of course be open to suggestion whenever the circumstances allow it."

"I see," said Snape, sounding not at all convinced.

"Since Harry has decided to live publicly as a girl we will need an explanation for this change.. I believe Petunia's suggestion was an excellent idea. Therefore I suggest we present her as James' stepdaughter. We will say the father is unknown but that James took her in as his own."

"And just how will you explain her living as a boy for all these years?" asked Minerva.

"I intend to make it simply an error based on her name."

"Potter announced her as a boy before he died. Are you suggesting he would have made the mistake?" said Snape and rolled his eyes.

"To his friends he did. We need only worry about silencing one. The ministry learned about it through the birth certificate James filled in. While you were out looking for Harry at her relatives' house I had an interesting conversation with Petunia. She told me she once referred to Harry as 'Harriet'. That gave me the idea that perhaps 'Harry' could be short for Harriet and James simply wrote the shortened name down by mistake? That way she could still be known as Harry Potter."

Severus narrowed his eyes. Of course! Of course it would all just be a mistake! And James' reputation remained unsullied.

"And why would her relatives not draw our attention to that mistake?" he sighed.

"Perhaps they didn't know how to contact us?" replied Dumbledore.

"All that is very well but I'm not sure Harry would wish to keep James' actions a secret. She was very upset about it and I don't think..." began Minerva.  
"You _told_ her?" hissed Severus.

"She wanted to know! Doesn't she have a right to know?" McGonagall defended herself.

Severus didn't know what to say. He knew it could only be more upsetting for her. He knew how upsetting it had been for him. Honestly he hadn't quite expected her to believe it. After all she had heard nothing but the best of James. Severus took a deep breath before he turned to face Dumbledore.

"You know I still would prefer giving her a new identity that would save her from life in the public eye. However, if you so disagree I will agree this is the next best option. So you would have her renamed 'Harriet'?"

"I would," admitted Dumbledore. "She would still be the Potter heiress. I've spoken to the goblins and they agree that since James not only knew but also willfully left her the Potter fortune she is still the owner of that vault."

"So I take it you have absolutely no intention of revealing what James Potter did, do you?" Snape snarled.

"Severus, would that really accomplish anything but cause additional questions? It's done. He is no longer with us. What purpose can that serve?" replied Dumbledore sorrowfully.

"Of course there cannot be cracks in his golden memory," huffed Severus in reply.

"Minerva, I will not only have a lot of work to do in the ministry soon but I will also be busy with the press. I will need your to take over my work while I am otherwise occupied," said the Headmaster.

"Albus! I cannot possibly! I'm already behind on my own work! And now I'm taking care of Harry as well! Can you not..." gasped Minerva.

" _Minerva,_ you are the Deputy Headmistress. If you find you are too busy you may ask another member of staff to take over some of your own duties," replied Dumbledore. "This has to take precedence over anything else – you must agree."

"I cannot possibly look after her at the same time! Severus can you..."

His eyes went wide. _Absolutely not!_ He had only offered to take her in because he was desperate. Because he owed it to Lily to make sure she didn't remain with her aunt and uncle. If there was any other alternative for her – he wouldn't take her. It was better for her and everyone else. _But it's only for the rest of the summer! Surely, you can..._ No! It wouldn't work. They couldn't stand each other after all! And the girl was surely hurting and needed someone she could talk to. _What are you afraid of?_ Nothing! He just knew it was better this way. What if... _You like her? Is that it? What if you like her?_ No, he couldn't ever like her there was no danger of that. _Then what is the problem?_

"No, I cannot Minerva! Perhaps Poppy can...?"

"You might as well, Severus, after all she will be part of your house," smiled the Headmaster.

What was this? Severus studied the old man. This was unexpected. Hadn't Dumbledore been insisting that he shouldn't get too close to her? Or had he decided that there was no danger in just one summer? No, there was something else going on here. The Headmaster didn't just change his position over night without a reason.

"What?" said Severus.

"There's also the question of where to house her, Albus. I don't believe it would be a good decision to simply place her in a Slytherin dormitory. Nor would I simply have moved her to a female dormitory in Gryffindor," interrupted Minerva

"What would you then have me do?"

"I don't see the problem there," added Severus.

"Well, think of the reaction. The other girls might not feel comfortable with a person they recently believed to be a boy just being thrown in there without them getting to know her first. Furthermore, I think Harry would prefer to have some place to herself until she feels comfortable staying in the dormitory."

"I must admit they might not be welcoming at first but I don't believe hiding from them would help either," said Severus.

Even if there were any problems he was certain he could handle it.

"I know but she could still go to the common room. She could stay in the dormitory whenever she feels comfortable with it."

"That's all very well but where would you have her then?" asked the Headmaster.

"We can set up one of the guestrooms for her," suggested Minerva.

"Then we would have to do extensive warding so that security would be as high as the common rooms. Further more it would not be hard for someone to follow her and find out where she sleeps," said Dumbledore and gave both professors a pointed look. "No, we may well tell everyone she sleeps in a guestroom but I would not be comfortable with that. If she must sleep anywhere other the the dorms I suggest she have a room in private quarters of one of you two. That way she would be protected."

"You cannot be serious!" gasped Severus.

"Well, I would not agree to it either, Severus, however since you insisted on being her Head of House I think it's only logical that _you_ be the one to take her in. After all you have already offered to do so!"

This was too much. What on earth was going on? Severus couldn't take it anymore.

"Stop it! What do you think you're doing? Haven't you been the one to repeatedly remind us that I cannot publicly claim her? And now you are threatening to move her in with me? Have you lost your mind?" roared Severus.

Minerva stood and looked at the two wizards.

"I would also like an explanation."

"I am only doing what I believe is best for Harry. She seemed so cast down yesterday, as did you and I thought that perhaps if I bend a little it would make your all more comfortable – despite it being a risk."

"So that's it! You finally realize you've successfully lost the girl's trust and loyalty and so you give in to us to win her back?" hissed Severus.

"Severus, I don't believe it's anything like that. Yes, I worry for Harry. I didn't mean to hurt her but this is as much for you. You found out you had a daughter and I thought you might wish to know her. I already know the options and I'm certain I will have to send her back next summer because I don't believe you will find a better family for her where she will be as safe as she is there. Perhaps during to school year you could..."

"If you think you can buy my loyalty this way you are mistaken!"

"I know you, Severus, don't do anything foolish," replied Dumbledore.

"Like what? Are you afraid I will claim her publicly and take her away from you? I _could_ do that! Place her in another school, introduce her to my _friends_."

At that Dumbledore's face went white. So this was exactly what the old man was afraid of. Severus wouldn't do that of course. There were too many people wishing to kill the girl for Severus to protect her alone. Not to mention some of them were part of the only people Severus referred to as allies and friends. Just how would Lucius react to this? Severus didn't want to know. A part of him wanted to refuse having anything to do with this and leave the room but he knew he couldn't. What would Lily think? It was her child and he couldn't leave her in Dumbledore's hands. Not after the amount of incompetence he had shown. Who else was there? Minerva and Poppy would surely help but they couldn't do this for him. He also wouldn't ever ask them to. Lily had asked him to take her away. He couldn't let her down again.

"Fine, I will take her," he said.

"Severus! Are you sure?" whispered Minerva.

"Her belongings will need to be fetched. The cupboard is magically locked and we can no longer enter," continued Severus.

"So you have no objections?" said Minerva.

"I most certainly do. I believe she can safely be placed in the dorm, however if you insist that is not possible I agree that she should be near a professor. I will take her," replied Severus.

"Then that is settled. She will remain here at Hogwarts. As for the rest I may accompany you to Surrey and let you in. Then I would like you, Minerva to take over for me. I must speak to some associates at the Ministry before taking the final steps."

 **TBC**


	20. Who I am not

**A/N: I own and make nothing.**

 **I think it's time for a proper A/N. First of all thank you to my reviewers for taking to time to express your opinion. It is appreciated! Secondly, I will remind you that warnings are likely to be added as the story progresses. Pay attention to any such A/Ns. For this chapter there is a profanity warning. Thirdly, enjoy!**

* * *

"I will need to check on Harry," said Minerva. "I promised her I'd be back half an hour ago."

"Then by all means do so but I would like to bring you with me so you may remove the wards your placed there," said Dumbledore. "I can only guess what you warded."

"How do you know about that?"

"It disturbed the blood wards slightly."

"I don't believe my presence is needed," said Severus.

Rather he was counting on it. He honestly didn't trust himself not to hex the Dursleys after how he found the girl the day before. He also had a lot to think about. Had he just agreed to house Harry Potter? Yes, he knew he had to – for Lily. But how on earth would that work out? Could he even trust her not to destroy the place within the first day? Well, he certainly wasn't going to let her. He was supposed to protect her and as he had told the Headmaster many times before he could not do that if she could not be relied upon to obey the rules. The last thing he needed was to chase after her every time she meddled in affairs that did not concern her and as a result got herself in trouble. Well, if she was to be a Slytherin she would follow the same rules and she would find that he, unlike Minerva, actually did take an active interest in the rules being followed in his house. In fact, when he thought about it, he was quite sure that he could actually keep her far safer than Minerva had by simply taking care of her rule breaking. True, Quirinus had attempted to kill her on the Quidditch pitch but she would _never_ have gone after the philosopher's stone had she respected her teachers and followed the rules!

"Indeed not and you will also have to make a room ready for her," replied Dumbledore.

Damn, he hadn't thought of that! Where would he even put her? If this was only for a few days he wouldn't have bothered and simply put her on the couch but if she was to remain there for the rest of the summer and possibly during the school year he would need to clear out a room for her. He supposed the room he was currently using as an additional store-room would suffice.

"Then I suggest you go now Minerva. I will meet you back here in 20 minutes or so and we will floo to Mrs Figg's."

The witch nodded and left the room. Severus glared at the old man who had turned his attention to the paperwork on his desk and seemed almost unaware of his presence.

"Severus, my boy, is there something you wish to say?" Dumbledore said, his eyes still on his desk.

"You know exactly what I think."

"I hope so," replied the old man.

"What exactly is it you expect me to do? You are expecting something in return for this, I'm sure. Is it only my promise not to take her from you?"

"I expect you to protect her."

"I was already doing that," huffed Severus.

"You were but things will not get any easier. I do not wish to be at odds with you, Severus, surely you can see that. I don't doubt that you care for her a great..."

"Care for her? I care about the fact that this has been kept from me! I care when a child is mistreated! I care when that child's guardian does nothing to prevent it! I _care_ because I owe it to Lily to see that the girl is taken care of properly – and so should you!"

"She is your daughter, Severus, it is only natural if you should wish to get to know her and this way you may do just that while we keep her safe."

"You may think what you will. I took her because I cannot trust you with her."

"So you say. We may not agree upon everything but I would like to work with you rather than without you."

"Is that a threat?"

"Not at all. But if it should ever come down to it and I feel I must chose between you and Harry I would not hesitate to chose her," said Dumbledore with a sorrowful expression.

"I am well aware of how important she is should your prophecy still apply to her!"

"I believe it does. Now if you will excuse me I have work to do and you must prepare to take the girl. You have my permission to ask the house elfs for assistance should you need it."

Severus scowled at the man and stormed out of his office. As if he had ever needed his permission before! Hah! Well, he _had_ better things to do than trade veiled insults with the Headmaster. What _was_ he going to do with the girl? Transfigurations were not a permanent solution. _Oh, for Merlin's sake!_ He would have to get her an actual bed, a desk of her own and a bookcase. Was the second storage even large enough for her? This was proving to be a larger undertaking than he had realized. There were no windows in the dungeons. Would that be disturbing to a girl who had lived in a cupboard? Severus didn't know. He would have to ward every single door down there too or have her going through everything! Severus paused in the hallway and reminded himself that it was necessary for him to do this before he had a panic attack. Hopefully she would adjust to the Slytherin dorm fast and her presence in his quarters would be only for this summer. He was brought back from his thoughts by the sound of hurried footsteps coming towards him. He looked up to see Minerva in her coat.

"Severus!" she gasped. "Severus, I can't find her! She left my quarters!"

He didn't need to ask who 'she' was. Blast! The girl couldn't stay put for less than two hours! Her living accommodations would have to wait. What if someone had seen her?

"I'll find her," he quickly nodded to Minerva and flew past her.

He would leave it to Minerva to fetch the girl's possessions – meanwhile he would find the owner. Severus could feel his temper rising. He knew it wasn't easy for her but surely staying in Minerva's quarters was not too much to ask? Here they were, fighting to keep her out of the Headmaster's hands. Did she think they could do it without her cooperation? She most likely did. After all, was she not used to adults fixing everything for her, no questions asked? It only took one wrong step and everything would crumble around them. Where would she even go? Severus' first instinct was to check the Quidditch pitch but he left searching the grounds for later, hoping that the girl at least was sensible enough not to leave the castle. _Then again it is P..._ Severus grimaced. That still didn't feel right. He just could no longer bear to think of her in connection with James.

Severus quickened his pace and continued down the hallway with a scowl on his face and his robes billowing behind him. He would start by Minerva's office and search the nearby corridors first. Would she have gone to Gryffindor tower and tried to enter? Just to be certain Severus took a detour to the portrait and questioned the fat lady. He didn't mention a small girl but simply asked whether anyone had come by recently. Satisfied that the girl had not come this way and that the mouthy portrait was now glaring at him, Severus continued to Minerva's office.

The door was closed and warded. Clearly Minerva had done this to ensure no intruders could enter but Severus thought it rather ridiculous when it meant the girl couldn't slip back inside should she come to her senses. Where could she have gone? He continued down the hallway until he heard something up ahead. His ears perked and he stopped to listen. Silence. It had sounded like light footsteps and oddly enough Severus' first thought was that it was student up to no good despite the fact that it was summer and no students were around. Well, except one. Severus proceeded carefully. He turned a corner and found no one there. She was certainly around here unless Flitwick had developed a passion for hide and seek – those had not been the footsteps of an adult human. He wasn't fool enough to call out for her – should it prove to be someone else after all.

Severus turned his attention to a door nearby that he knew to be a broom closet. The door appeared closed at a first glance but in reality it was not entirely shut. Losing his patience the Potions Master strode over and opened the door. A shriek followed as the girl inside jumped and dropped the two books she was carrying on the floor.

"Where have you been?" hissed Severus as the girl realized who the intruder was.

She didn't answer but instead reached for one of the books on the floor. Severus sighed and picked up the other one which had landed partly on his foot. He looked at the book in his hand. It was a rather thin book on the seeker for the Holyhead Harpies. She reached out and tried to get it back from him but Severus held the book out of her reach.

"I asked you a question," he said, every bit as furious now that the girl was found.

"The library," replied the girl shortly and attempted to pass him and leave the closet but Severus blocked her way.

"And were you not told to remain in professor McGonagall's quarters? Have you any idea what would have happened if you were spotted?"

"Madam Pince wasn't there! And I was going back now anyway!"

"That is no excuse! Do you live to be trouble? Come!" he replied and reached for her arm.

"I can walk back on my own!" cried the girl.

"You are not returning to professor McGonagall's chambers. Come now."

Severus wanted nothing more than to lecture the girl properly but he couldn't risk having a longer conversation with her here. He pulled her out of the closet and made to continue down the hallway.

"Hey, where are we going?" gasped the girl as she struggled keep up with him.

Severus didn't answer. He had to take her somewhere and his own office was the only option. It seemed he would not have much time to prepare for her or come to terms with this himself. He wouldn't tell her about this arrangement until they arrived. He didn't need a shouting match in the corridors when he was trying to keep her hidden and he was absolutely certain the girl would express her displeasure vocally. The girl soon stopped protesting and even kept quiet when Severus quickly pushed her through a door so she wouldn't be seen by Irma Pince as the woman passed on her way back to the library. But when they were heading down the stairs to the dungeons the girl caught on and began struggling against him as soon as they were in the dungeons and somewhat out of danger of discovery.

"Let go of me!" she hissed. "I'm not going to the Slytherin dorms!"

Severus paused. So that was what she thought was happening? That he would send her there already?

"No, you most certainly are not. I don't need you running all over the place without supervision. We are going to my office."

"Oh," said the girl and looked slightly confused. "But I'm still not going with you! Where is McGonagall?"

" _Professor_ McGonagall is currently retrieving your possessions from your relatives' home."

He continued to pull her along until they reached the door to his office. He put the book under his other arm and unlocked the door with a flick of his wand. He dragged the girl inside and closed the door behind them.

"Why don't you sit down?" he said and flicked his wand once again, causing a chair to slide up in front of his desk.

"Give me that," said the girl and reached for the book in his hand.

Severus sighed and walked up to his desk where he placed the book. The girl followed behind him. He sat down behind his desk and took at deep breath. He knew this wasn't going to be pleasant and he had hoped to find her in a more compliant mood.

"Sit," he said, repeating his request.

The girl was studying him. Her eyes were narrowed and she was frowning slightly as she clearly tried to piece together what this was about. She placed her hand on the chair as if she needed to check and see if it was real before she slowly sat down and put the book she was holding on the desk – never taking her eyes off Severus.

"Before we address the absolute stupidity of leaving professor McGonagall's quarters I need to discuss your stay here with you. As you may know we had a meeting earlier today."

"So it _was_ about me! Why wasn't I invited!" cried the girl.

"Quiet!" snapped Severus. "Why you were not invited is something you may ask the Headmaster if you should wish to. Now, due to her work you will not be able to remain with professor McGonagall. It has been decided that you will receive a room of your own elsewhere which you may also continue to use when the school year begins until you feel comfortable with moving into Slytherin."

"What do you mean? I get my _own_ room?" gasped the girl. "Where?"

Severus studied her. Her lips moved slightly forming a slight smile and her eyes were full of light. The girl most likely had never truly considered the room she had lived in this summer her own nor could he fault her for being excited when she had lived in a cupboard. _If only you knew._ But she would know in a moment. A part of Severus almost felt bad for snuffing out her happiness but there was no way around it.

"You will be staying with me," he stated, unblinking.

 _And now we wait. Three. Two. One. And?_

" _What?_ No way!" cried the girl and jumped up from the chair.

"You need to be under supervision while you are here and since I will be your Head of House we all agreed it would be the best course of action. It has already been decided."

"You... You can't do that!" the girl spluttered. "I don't want to stay here! You can't make me!"

Severus sighed.

"I am afraid you don't have a choice. There are no other alternatives. I cannot say the thought is pleasing to me either but it is the way it must be! If you can control yourself I have more to tell you."

The girl's face had turned completely white. She spun around and ran for the door but Severus was faster and locked it from behind his desk. The girl became even more furious when she found the handle wouldn't turn. Severus rose, trying very hard to reign in his temper.

"Sit back down! That behavior is absolutely ridiculous!" he demanded.

"No!" cried the girl who was now looking just about ready to murder him.

"Stop this nonsense and sit back down before I decide to stick you to the chair!"

The girl crossed her arms and turned her back on him. Severus quickly moved over to her and spun her around, keeping his hands on her shoulders.

"I am trying my best to patient with you but I am warning you, my patience is running low! Sit down so we may have a civilized conversation!"

"Just fuck off!" spat the girl.

Severus turned pale. _What did she just say to me?_ They had had their fair share of disagreements in the past but never had she spoken to him like that!

"P..." he said and managed to stop himself just in time. He couldn't say it. Not to this face. _What then? Harry? No._ Severus was positively shaking with fury.

"Don't you _dare_ speak to me with such language!" he hissed.

"Whatever," replied the girl, rolling her eyes.

" _Harriet!_ " thundered Severus.

He had imagined she would either be frightened and apologize or give him another cheeky reply but not what actually happened.

"Don't _ever_ call me that!" screamed the girl and swung her fist at him, intending to hit him in the chest, only to be stopped by Severus whose reflexes were still excellent.

He stared at her, wide-eyed. Her cheeks were flushed with anger and her eyes were watering.

"I... Calm down. Take deep breaths. I promise I won't," said Severus slowly when he had gotten over the initial shock.

The girl didn't reply but was clearly choking on sobs. Severus kept his hand on her shoulder and gently steered her back towards the chair. _For Merlin's sake! Please don't have her cry!_ Well, so much for the Headmaster's plan the rename her Harriet. That clearly wasn't going to go over well. The only thing was Severus wasn't quite sure what the objection was. Was it to the name itself or simply to him referring to her by any first name? The girl plopped into the chair and sat there staring at her own knees.

"May I... Inquire as to why you dislike that name?" asked Severus as he was very careful to keep his voice as neutral as possible. He certainly wanted to discuss her behavior as well but not until he had calmed down.

"My aunt called me that. It's not my name," replied the girl, still not looking at him.

Severus sat back down while he carefully thought about what he would say next.

"The Headmaster has suggested renaming you that so that you may continue to be known as Harry Potter. However," Severus said holding up his hand to stop the girl when her head shut up and her mouth opened. "I do believe we may change that should you wish it."

"He has no right to decide that!" sneered the girl. "Why didn't anyone ask me?"

"I think everyone was assuming that you would prefer it that way. It would explain the confusion about your gender as a simple mistake if 'Harry' was short for 'Harriet'."

"You should have asked. Maybe I don't want to be Harry Potter. Ever thought of that?"

 _As a matter of fact I did. But no one would listen to me!_

"You don't want to be Harry Potter?"

"No. James called me that. Besides I'm not a real Potter anyway am I? Well, I don't want anything to do with him!"

Severus was simultaneously rejoicing and cursing this new development. It would mean negotiating with the Headmaster again but he suddenly felt justified in his reluctance to refer to the child as 'Potter' ever since the discovery.

"If you would agree to pretend you were originally named Harriet then I am certain there can be no objections to you officially changing you name. That being said, I don't believe your reaction just now was in anyway justified. You do not speak to me like that. You do _not_ attack a teacher. I thought we made that clear after your little stunt with the Headmaster."

* * *

Harry narrowed her eyes. What did he mean by that? Hadn't he _asked_ her to be upset with Dumbledore? How was she supposed to know what she was or was not to to do when he hadn't told her what to do? McGonagall had agreed that her anger was justified then and honestly Harry considered it every bit as justified now. How could they decide such a thing without her?

She had already told herself countless times that she couldn't trust anyone and once again they proved her right. How was she supposed to trust people who went around changing her life for the worse every time she gave them a chance to discuss without her? What exactly was Snape trying to do? He hated her. It was obvious to Harry that he didn't in any way like the idea of having her here yet somehow he had agreed to this? Well, Harry wouldn't have it. Apart from the Headmaster, Snape was the person she would least like to be near in the world. Every single time she saw him she was reminded of the vivid red color in the bottle and the words she had heard him yell at Dumbledore. _She is my daughter!_ She didn't want to be anything to him – not even one his Slytherins.

"It's not fair," she huffed.

"Perhaps you believe otherwise? Perhaps you believe you have every right to go about attacking your professors?" replied Snape coldly.

"Well, maybe my professors believe they every right to go about ruining my life!" hissed Harry.

"Perhaps it has escaped you but we are trying to help you!" thundered the professor.

Harry jumped slightly at the sound of his voice and became very aware of just how alone she was. Still, she couldn't bring herself to be careful. There were too many emotions fighting to escape from her chest.

"How? How are you helping? Why do I have to be a Slytherin? Why can't I stay where I was? Why aren't you telling me anything? Why don't I get to decide?" she cried.

"If you are quite finished... I have already informed you that resorting you will not only put you in the house which you claim you were intended for but it will give the Headmaster much less control over you. As for your staying here: Professor McGonagall cannot house you and so you will be staying with me which is also much more convenient since I will be your Head of House. It is as simple as that. We are trying to help you by ensuring that you will never return to Surrey, you silly girl! Tell me, would you rather stay there this summer?"

Harry paused. Was that the only choice she had? Snape or the Dursleys? This was turning into a very unfunny game of _Would you rather?_ Earlier she had thought to herself that she would spend the summer with Malfoy if it meant never going back to the Dursleys.

"Will I have to go back to them?" she asked.

"I already told you: Professor McGonagall and I will not allow it. You will never have to return," replied Snape in a rather annoyed tone.

So it was exactly the same kind of thing. Only it was Snape instead of Malfoy. Perhaps she could actually do this? After all she didn't have to actually have anything to do with Snape did she? She'd just have to sleep in his quarters, right?

"And when school starts?" she asked, wondering.

"Then you may either sleep in the dormitory with your new housemates or remain in your room here."

Harry wasn't entirely sure which was worse – sharing a dorm with the Slytherin girls or staying with Snape. The Slytherins would make her life hell but what would her friends say if they knew she was living with _Snape?_ As a matter of fact what would they say about all of this. Suddenly Harry felt afraid. What would they say about her face? About being moved to Slytherin? About being related to the old bat? Oh, no! Malfoy was going to have the time of his life!

"Of course you may not tell anyone where you are staying should you chose the last option," continued Snape. "Should anyone ask you sleep in a guestroom which has been lent to you. That brings me to another point. Under no circumstances may you reveal the nature of our... _connection_ to anyone. Not even your little friends. The Headmaster will be telling the press that you are James Potter's stepdaughter and that your father is unknown. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir," Harry nodded.

She was thankful for that actually. Why did Snape think she would tell anyone? She didn't want anyone to know about _that!_ In fact she wished _she_ didn't know!

"We will have plenty of time to discuss things further but for now I believe we must address your behavior today. Not only did you leave professor McGonagall's quarters when you were told to stay and put yourself in danger of being spotted, you also decided to swear at me and physically attack me!"

Harry's eyes shot up. Was he really still angry about that? Nothing had happened when she snuck out and even if she had actually managed to hit him he would have deserved it!

"I believe writing a few lines will adequately occupy your time for an hour or so," said the professor. "I think 200 lines of _'I will respect and obey my elders'_ would do just fine. When your room is ready for you, you will be confined to it for the remainder of the day."

What had she honestly expected? This was _Snape_ after all! On one hand Harry wanted to get up and protest the unfairness of this but on the other hand she wanted to be left alone with her thoughts.

"Will you be staying here?" it flew out of her.

Snape raised an eyebrow at the question.

"No, I will have to see that a room is prepared for you. Still, you will not leave my office and do not for a moment believe I will not be checking up on you!"

 _Anything to get rid of you!_ Harry sighed. She wasn't sure what she was going to do but at least now she would have to time to herself to think about it. Snape got up from his chair and flicked his wand, causing one of the two students' desks he kept in his office to move closer to his own desk. Another flick and a quill, ink and a stack of parchment flew of the shelves and settled on the desk.

"I suggest you begin," said Snape.

Harry got up and reached for the book on his desk. If she had them with her she might read a bit when she got too bored but just as she was about to take one of them, Snape reached out and grabbed them both.

"I don't believe you will be needing these."

"Hey, those are mine!"

"No, those belong to the school. Now sit down and begin. I will return shortly and if you've left this room for any other reason than to use the facilities you will be sorry, am I understood?"

Harry glared at the man for good measure. In all honesty she just wanted him to leave. It didn't matter that she would be stuck here she just wanted to be alone. She walked over to the desk and slowly as she dared and took her sweet time to sit down and grab the quill. Snape waved his wand at the door – presumably unlocking it before he turned towards one of the bookcases and placed his hand on an old book. The moment he did so it glowed slightly and a door appeared on the wall next to the bookcase. He turned and nodded to Harry before opening the door and disappearing. As soon as it closed behind him the door disappeared as well.

* * *

Severus closed the door to his office behind him. He hadn't in anyway expected her the react well and he hadn't been disappointed but what puzzled him was that the girl had ultimately obeyed him – even if it was with an attitude. The lines would keep her occupied while he sorted out her sleeping arrangements. Perhaps if he kept her occupied he might survive the summer?

He looked around the living room of his humble abode. While he did have another home outside of Hogwarts this was where he spent most of his time. It was very much so the quarters of a professor and a confirmed bachelor. To Severus this was his life and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't picture the girl in it. He left the books there and exited the living room and ventured out into the hallway and opened one of the door which lead into the second storage room. There was dust on almost everything in here. The room was full of boxes and a few pieces on old furniture. While he used to the storage room for his private stock of potions this one was mainly books other old things he either didn't care for or hadn't bothered to sort through. What was he going to do about this? Much of this was rubbish but Severus needed time to sort the treasure from the trash. He muttered something about idiotic children under his breath as he thought of how much easier this would have been if the girl had stayed in Minerva's quarters and how he would have been able to do this without worrying about finding his office in ruins. He paused. Perhaps he could stack the boxes in the lab for a while until he had the time?

Severus took a deep breath and began banishing the dusty boxes to the lab. All this trouble. He wondered what Lily would think of all this. Would she approve of his efforts? Once the boxes were gone Severus stepped further into the room to get a better look at the furniture. Some of it he had brought with him when he first got the position at Hogwarts and couldn't afford anything better. These were from some of the places he had been staying while in the Dark Lord's service. Another part of the furniture had never belonged to him but had been left here by Slughorn when these were his quarters. Additionally Severus suspected the house elfs might have thrown a few other things into the pile in the part of the summer before his employment where the rooms had been empty. Some of these things looked like they might be from some of the guestrooms. They certainly didn't seem like something Slughorn would have used.

Severus quickly banished a few dining room chairs of his own. A very decadent cabinet which he suspected was the former occupant's followed suit. At the back wall were what appeared to be two identical beds and a couch stacked on top of each other. The beds were white-painted wood and Severus recognized them as being from the infirmary. When he had begun at Hogwarts the beds there had been metal and rather heavy. A few years later they were replaced by these wooden ones which were in turn were later replaced by the more modern cots that were there today. It would have to do. He banished the couch and one of the beds leaving one behind.

There were no desks there but Severus could easily move one of the students' desks from his office in here so she might use it until they found a better one. It wasn't as if he'd had any notice. There was a wardrobe in the room which he had brought from one of his previous residences but it was a bit on the big side for a twelve year old girl and so Severus shrunk it ever so slightly. Severus banished the rest of the furniture. He knew a bookcase wouldn't be hard to find since Hogwarts was full of them.

"Milly," he snapped and the house elf popped into the room. "I need this room cleaned and the bed made. You may use some of the bedding from my house. I will need a bookcase moved in here so please see whether there are any unused ones in the guestrooms."

The house elf bowed and disappeared. Severus left the room with a sigh. It would have to do. Surely the girl wouldn't complain considering where she had previously slept. And even if she did, what she expecting? A part of Severus wished he could have done more with it now. It was acceptable but it reminded him of his own room when he was a child. It had what it needed to have but nothing more. It was every bit as gloomy as the girl's previous accommodations. Severus had to remind himself that this was only temporary. They would find a proper place for her no matter what the Headmaster said and she would have a chance at a proper cheery childhood. The clock in the living room showed that nearly half an hour had passed. It was about time he checked on the girl.

 **TBC**


	21. Misunderstandings

**A/N: I own and make nothing. I apologize for the later posting. I suck.**

* * *

Harry was chewing on the end of the quill. Somewhere around the 16th line she had gone over to drawing spirals on another piece of parchment. She felt terrible. Not because she was stuck in Snape's office doing lines but because of how she had screamed her head of not thirty minutes ago. She felt rather guilty about it. When she thought about it she was angry with the Headmaster but more than anything she was angry because her world was slipping between her fingers and there was nothing she could do about it. It was all she could do not to cry when she thought about how things would never be the same again. Yes, her life had never been great but at least it had been somewhat understandable to her if she was just the Dursleys' freaky pretend nephew with the dead parents. If she was just Harry, who went to school, played chess with Ron and spoke to Hermione in the bathroom after potions class.

Now things were changing and she couldn't control it. The adults seemed to be making decisions about her every time she turned her back but when Harry had time to think about it she had to admit that McGonagall, Snape and Pomfrey _had_ been helping her and had actually tried to make things better for her. Dumbledore would have done things his way if they weren't there and Harry didn't like the thought of that one bit. She felt rather bad about leaving McGonagall's quarters now. Surely she could have waited a little longer? And what if she had been seen? What would that mean? Then there was her conversation with Snape to consider. She hadn't meant to strike him. Not really. She was just so angry and he had tried to stop her tearing the door down – wards and all.  
What had she expected? That he was going to be fine with that? What other place could she really go? McGonagall didn't have time and she most certainly didn't want to stay in the infirmary. But it was only for the summer wasn't it? And she would have her own room? That was actually very kind of them she thought. She let the quill rest a little to long on the parchment, resulting in a rather large ink stain. She certainly didn't want this and she could easily tell that Snape didn't either but she knew she had to stay here. There was nowhere else. But how was she going to survive in such close proximity to the man after what she had said to him? Harry was still surprised to be alive. She would have expected Snape to skin her alive but here she was doing lines which was really a rather mild punishment where Snape was concerned. She was pretty sure Snape was still furious with her and just as sure that he wasn't likely to listen to her but she did feel she wanted to explain herself. Harry wondered whether she could open that door he had disappeared through if she touched the book but she didn't get a chance to find out because just then the door appeared on the wall and Snape stepped out. He immediately raised an eyebrow in surprise as he locked eyes with Harry who had already been staring in the door's direction.

"I take it you have completed so many lines you simply _had_ to take a break or your hand would fall off?" said the professor dryly.

"Uhm," replied Harry as she found herself tongue-tied.

Snape strode over to the desk and towered over Harry.

"And do you have anything to say to me?" he asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Sir. I just..." began Harry as she turned her attention to the floor.

"I am aware that this has been a shock to you which is also the only reason you are not scrubbing cauldrons this very moment. That being said you will not behave in such a manner again – you will not find me as lenient a second time."

"I know... I just... I promise I won't do it again," mumbled Harry.

There it was again. She had felt guilty when he wasn't there but now that he was actually standing there she felt so small. This was the second time she felt guilty for not obeying him since they had discovered her secret. She hadn't ever felt anything but hurt or anger when he had previously told her off because she had never felt it was justified.

"See that you don't," replied Snape. "What on earth is that?"

Harry looked up to see Snape tapping a long thin finger on her spiral covered parchment.

"Oh," was all Harry could say as she reached out and grabbed the rest of the parchment on the desk in an attempted to conceal how few lines she had actually written.

"I will be back shortly and then you may continue your work in your room. However, should you wish to and if you are able to do so politely we may discuss the situation. Did you eat lunch before you left professor McGonagall's quarters?"

"No, sir," replied Harry as she dared to look up and meet the man's gaze.

Why was he asking her that? Would she be in trouble for that too? She'd eaten breakfast rather late after all and McGonagall had left nothing else for her. Snape didn't explain any further. Instead he once again disappeared through the secret door and left Harry on her own. She was rather puzzled. A part of her felt a little slighted that he hadn't acknowledged her apology more. He was clearly still cross with her. Still, he'd offered to talk to her and he hadn't said anything about her drawings either. Her surprise became even greater when a few moments later a plate and glass appeared on the desk out of nowhere. It was pumpkin juice and a tuna sandwich. Harry stared at it for a moment, not knowing what to make of this. Then she reached out and took a sip of the juice. In the silence of the room Harry slowly ate the meal and when she was done the plate and glass disappeared again. Harry looked at the 16 lines on her sheet of parchment. She knew she wouldn't be able to finish before Snape returned but for some strange reason she suddenly felt an urge to try very hard to or at least have a lot more to show him once he did.

* * *

Snape didn't return for about another half hour. By this time Harry had managed to write forty-something lines. In reality she had done more but only that many were somewhat readable. She found holding the quill strange because her hands were different now. Her fingers were thinner now and her hands overall smaller and she had to hold the quill further down to be able to control it. As a result her fingers were covered in ink. She was concentrating rather hard on not staining the parchment further and so she didn't hear him enter the room.

"Have you made any progress?" said a silky voice somewhere above her and Harry almost jumped out of her chair.

"Oh," gasped Harry.

"The ink goes on the parchment, not on your hands! You're not touching anything until you have washed them."

"I'll be right back, sir," replied Harry as politely as she could manage and got up to go out to the bathroom and as soon as she closed the door to the office behind her she basically ran to the bathroom since in her experience Snape generally didn't have much patience. When she returned, the quill and ink were no longer on the desk. In fact the desk was gone. Snape was holding her lines in his hand and looking at them with a frown as she entered. This rather annoyed Harry. Was he expecting her to be done so quickly? Well, knowing Snape he probably was. In a moment he would acknowledge her presence by insulting her work.

"Next time I would appreciate it if you wrote in something resembling the Latin alphabet. Did you write this with your toes?" frowned Snape without looking up.

 _There it is._ Harry rolled her eyes. She could have thought of some retort but she really was exhausted and she didn't want to argue with Snape twice in the same day. In fact what she wanted to do was curl up somewhere. What she wanted was for someone to tell her that everything would be fine and she didn't have to worry about a thing. Most of all she wanted to be able to believe that. Snape handed her the parchment and turned to the bookcase so quickly that she barely had time to catch the pile.

"Put your hand on the book," instructed the man.

Harry moved over and did as she was told with more than a little curiosity and apprehension. Snape mumbled a spell and waved his wand over her hand and a golden glow appeared. Suddenly the secret door emerged and Snape opened it.

"From now on the door appears to you as well. I don't believe I need to tell you that if you ever show this to anyone without my permission you'll be lucky to leave my quarters intact!"

"Yes, sir," Harry nodded, completely ignoring Snape's threats.

She took great care to notice that the book she was touching was entitled _Faust_ and didn't look in the least bit magical otherwise. The professor's office had been pretty much what she'd imagined it to be. Dark and gloomy, just like his classroom. Full of jars she didn't want to look to closely at and books in strange languages. No students she knew had been in McGonagall's private chambers and if she told the others that they would be surprised, but Snape had little reason to worry because _no one_ would ever believe she had been in _his_ quarters! Harry had heard the rumors about Snape sleeping in a coffin or living in the darkest, dampest corner of the dungeons where he kept students chained to the walls. Most of these stories she'd heard from Ron or the twins of course. She'd never truly believed them and neither had Hermione but still those images usually flashed before her eyes every time she'd been in trouble with him over the last year. Somehow considering that he'd managed not to kill her in all the time he had spent in Surrey, Harry couldn't quite imagine him that way. She looked up at her professor for confirmation but clearly she had already hesitated too long because he placed a hand on the back of her neck and pushed her forward through the door.

Harry was surprised. She was standing in what appeared to be a living room – and a rather large one at that. The floor and walls were still the same grey stone as Snape's office and classroom but other than that she didn't feel like she was in a dungeon at all! On the wall just opposite her was a large ornate fireplace from which light and warmth was emanating. On either side of it were two bookcases that fitted perfectly along the wall. On her left side she saw two doors, one at either end and between the doors were two large, black leather armchairs with a small, round mahogany table in the middle. Above the table was a painting of a large house surrounded by what looked like copper beeches but Harry couldn't see any movement in it. On her right side was a couch matching the armchairs and another door. Harry turned her head to find there was door on the wall behind her other than the one she had just entered. On the floor was a large Persian rug with a beautiful pattern in shades of dark green.

"If you are quite done taking in the scenery perhaps you would care to close your mouth?" said Snape, silkily behind her.

Harry realized she had been gaping and quickly shut her mouth, There were no dangling chains or coffins. In fact the room looked every bit as inviting as McGonagall's living room even though the room was decidedly more masculine. It was odd, thinking of these as Snape's quarters. In a way she was relieved that she wouldn't be staying in a hole in ground but she also didn't like how human this made him seem. Then again, she didn't exactly know for sure that her room _wasn't_ a hole in the ground.

"Through here," continued the professor as he held the door on her right open for her.

"Oh, uhm, professor? I was wondering if..." she began.

"Any questions you may have can surely wait until you've been shown your room, can it not?" Snape replied in a tone that told Harry that this was not a question.

The door lead to a hallway that had five other doors than the one Harry had just emerged from. Well, there was a large door at the far end, three doors on the opposite wall and an opening in the other end near her through which Harry caught a quick glimpse of a kitchen. She didn't have time to dwell on this as she felt Snape once again pushing her forward down the hall.

"This is the bathroom," said Snape sullenly as he gestured to the second of the three doors. "This will be where you will be staying," he continued as they reached the third door.

"That over there is the other entrance to my quarters and a door which you must never open under any circumstances. It is important that you are never seen entering my rooms and so you may only use the entrance in my office. My students do not know about it and will not suspect anything."

Snape nodded towards the larger door at the end of the hallway but Harry wasn't really paying attention. She hugged the stack of parchment close to her and silently prayed for the room to be unlike her room at the Dursleys'. She knew from Snape's reaction to it that it probably wouldn't be but considering how she had spoken to him earlier she wouldn't put it past him to torture her a little for it. Then Snape opened the door and she stepped inside. It was very simple and Harry instantly recognized the desk she had just used a few minutes ago had been moved inside. There was a wardrobe, a bed and a bookcase. Harry wrinkled her nose slightly when she notices that the covers on her bed were emerald green but she didn't say a word because she didn't dare complain at this point. She stepped further into the room and looked at the bookcase which she found she really liked. It was made of dark wood and stood on what looked like deer feet. At the top were carved leaves as decoration.

"And does it live up to your... expectations," said Snape behind her, pausing weirdly at the last word as if he was correcting himself.

"It's fine... Sir," replied Harry.

And it truly was that. _Fine._ It was neither spectacular nor was it unbearable. If she was going to live near Snape, Harry suspected the design of her room was the least of her problems and the room had the most important thing – a door she could shut. Snape left her there with rather curt instructions to finish her lines. Harry didn't do so right away though. She sat on the bed, bouncing a little bit before she leaned back onto it and stared at the ceiling. This was like a dream. A surreal dream. Or a nightmare. She couldn't completely relax in this temporary room. Harry tried to recall all the events which had lead her here. The examination, aunt Petunia, Snape, the bottle and Dumbledore. She felt lost.

About 20 minutes later she heard noises in the hallway. She perked her ears and could hear Snape having a conversation with someone. Before she could figure out what the topic was, it was over. A moment later Snape appeared in the doorway with Harry's trunk in his hand and his eyebrows raised at finding her standing in the middle of the room. Harry, who had just jumped off the bed didn't manage to say anything before Snape deposited the trunk in front of her.

"Professor McGonagall has just been here to deliver these. I suggest you unpack your trunk. This, however, is a _gift_ I believe."

Then he took a small parcel out of his pocket and enlarged it before he turned and left. Harry couldn't help but notice how eager he seemed to get away from her. The parcel contained a plain white shirt, a pairs of jeans, a pair of socks and a note from McGonagall stating that she hoped this would be of some help to her. Harry smiled briefly. McGonagall had given her a gift – again! She hadn't forgotten about the broom. She had always known her to be a stern but ultimately understanding and kind woman, but since she'd come to Privet Drive she had been so gentle. Almost as if she was really concerned. _Oh, why couldn't it be her? I bet if I talked to Dumbledore about it... No, what am I saying? I'm never talking to him again! How bad can it be? It's the bloody bat!_ At least she knew the chances of him killing her were relatively slim, him having protected her last year and now as well, but she still reckoned it had come pretty close earlier that day. With that thought in mind Harry put the clothes in the wardrobe, along with her broom which was also there, careful to hide the invisibility cloak well. However as she did so she noticed something missing. Where was her wand? Harry removed everything carefully but it wasn't there. She decided she would ask Snape about it once he returned and sat she down to continue the lines. A while later she briefly left the room to use the bathroom and she noted how quiet it was. However, she didn't want to start exploring and risk getting caught. The bathroom was smaller than McGonagall's. The floor and walls were covered by black tiles and the sink looked like black marble but was much simpler in design than McGonagall's. There also was no bathtub there, only a shower.

Harry returned to her room and spent her time there working as best she could with her mind constantly wandering off – she was especially thinking about where her wand could have gotten to. By the time a knock came at the door she had lost track of time completely. Her old watch had been left at the Dursleys'. The next moment Snape was in the doorway.

"Join me in the living room. We need to talk," he said curtly and stepped aside, holding the door open as he waited for her to get up.

"Yes, sir," was all Harry managed to get out.

She didn't really want to talk to him, though she was curious as to what was to happen to her. She walked ahead of Snape back into the living room, sneaking a glance into the kitchen as she walked past it. The fire was still going in the living room. Snape gestured towards the couch before he took a seat in one of the armchairs across the room.

"Sit down. We have much to discuss."

"What's going to happen? Did M.. Professor McGonagall say anything? Did..."

"Be quiet! If you insist on blabbering all you will hear is your own voice! Now, if you are able to listen, shall we begin?"

Harry swallowed and nodded. She hadn't expected Snape to snap at her so suddenly. He was clearly not pleased. Who was she kidding? How could this possibly work?

"The Headmaster is currently organizing the reveal of you to the public. I will be meeting with him later tonight and I will be taking up the matter of your name with him, should you wish it," said Snape is his normal gloomy yet unaffected classroom voice that was mainly reserved for giving instructions.

Harry wasn't sure what to reply to that. Yes, she certainly didn't want people going about calling her Harriet because all she could hear when Snape said it was Petunia's voice. But what she wanted instead she didn't know.

"I do want that, professor," she said.

Snape didn't inquire as to her preferences which Harry found a bit odd. He merely continued.

"As you have already been informed you will remain here until school begins unless you at that time do not feel comfortable to do so yet, however, this is my home and while you are here I expect you to follow the rules I set for you. I mean that."

She resisted the urge to pull up her legs and curl into a ball. Never mind that this was a man who had saved her life, who had protected her from Dumbledore, who was her... relative – this was Snape. What rules? Don't mess up? Don't be bad at potions? Don't talk? Don't breathe?

"First things first, you are forbidden to enter my bedroom, the lab and the potions storage without my express permission. My room is the third door in the hallway, the lab and storage are there and there," he continued as he gestured to the two doors on either side of the armchairs. "I will of course be keeping it locked but an unlocked door is not an invitation for you to snoop!" Snape paused and looked at her pointedly. "If I find you have disobeyed me you will not like the outcome. Furthermore I expect you to do as you are told when you are told, though I am aware this is not your forte, be respectful and truthful. I will not stand for disobedience, attitude or lying. We will not have a repeat of what happened earlier today!"

"I said I was sorry," protested Harry. Do whatever Snape said? _Whatever?_ This wasn't going well.

"So you did. I have been very lenient considering what you have just been through but that will not continue. If you know the rules you should be able to follow them should you not?"

"Well..."

"Furthermore, professor McGonagall has informed me that the Headmaster will be informing the majority of the staff shortly. Until then you must remain out of sight."

"You mean I have to stay _here?_ All day?" cried Harry. She was pretty sure that would kill her.

"For the most part yes, however you most certainly will be allowed out when possible. I don't intend to neglect my work to stay here and watch you. As a matter of fact we will be going out tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Where to... Sir?" replied Harry.

 _They_ were going out tomorrow? She was going somewhere with _him?_ Still she guessed it was better than being locked in his quarters. She didn't like that thought. It wouldn't be much different from the Dursleys.

"From what I have seen you will need additional clothes. Furthermore we may look around for furniture for your room and I believe you did not yet have your schoolbooks?"

"Are we going to Diagon Alley?" Harry gasped, a light shining in her eyes.

"Absolutely not! We cannot be seen together in such a public place yet! No, we will be apparating to a village much like Hogsmeade, where I am not a well known figure and will not have to explain your presence at my side. Now, I suppose you may ask any questions you may have to what we've discussed," said the professor in an almost bored voice as i he was sick of explaining things to her.

Harry pondered for a moment. She had to buy furniture? Just how much would that cost her? And clothes too? And how would she get money from Gringotts if they weren't going to Diagon Alley? Did they have branches elsewhere? In the end she looked up and met Snape's dark eyes.

"Have you seen my wand?" she asked.

"I have. I have taken it for safekeeping. You will not be needing it during the summer," Snape replied as he got up from the chair, signaling that this conversation was over.

"But... You can't do that! It's mine, sir!" Harry protested.

Snape sighed.

"You are not allowed to perform magic during the summer regardless of whether you are here or not. It will be returned to you at the beginning of the school year and you should have no objections to that unless you truly do plan to break the law again so soon."

"Can... Can the Ministry tell here too?" Harry said. She had wondered about this. How did it work? They weren't supposed to use wands outside of classes either but next to no one followed that rule.

"They cannot. But that is no excuse. Have you finished the lines?"

"Almost, professor," lied Harry. She had written about a hundred readable ones.

"Then you may continue. Once you are finished you may read in your room. I suggest you review potions. Furthermore, you may find it much more beneficial if you were to _actually_ read it this time. It most certainly explains your grades."

Harry blushed sightly but quickly lowered her head to hide it.

* * *

Severus watched the girl disappear back into the hallway. At least she seemed to have calmed down quite a bit. He could feel the tension between as they both refused to take up the topic. Severus knew why he hadn't brought up the fact that this girl was his. He didn't know what that meant. He couldn't ever claim her or it would destroy his connections to the Death Eaters and cause them to be hunted mercilessly by many of those to whom he would be a traitor. The rest of the wizarding community wouldn't be forgiving either. What would they think of it? She was the savior – pure and innocent in their eyes. He was a foul Death Eater to many of them still. Now that she knew would she be expecting something from him? Could he still help her and be there for her? Would she let him? Did he even feel comfortable doing that? But what did it matter if he truly cared for the girl? He had to look after her for Lily's sake. Then a thought came to him. What must she think, having never had any parents, to suddenly find one and see them leave her? Lily would have loved her. She would have loved her to pieces and the girl surely knew that. Was he rejecting her? What would that do to her? Then again, she hadn't spoken about it either and Severus couldn't be sure whether this was because she was too afraid to or because she didn't want it to be true. He had heard her. _He hates me._ Was that a girl wishing he didn't or a girl speaking with as much contempt as she assigned to him? He knew it was likely but for some reason he couldn't accept that. There was something... Some strange pressure upon his chest whenever he did think that thought. That she well and truly hated him and was only putting up with him because she hated her relatives more.

Severus had been working over the next couple of hours. He hadn't seen the girl except one time when he was in the living room he had heard her light footsteps in the hallway. He half expected her to enter but she didn't and just went to the bathroom and back. Around six o'clock he knocked on her door before opening it and found her at her desk with ink on her hands again. When he asked her to join him for dinner she had actually asked him whether she might stay in her room! He had nodded of course, left her there and had the house elves send in a tray but now he was convinced of it: She was avoiding him. Severus huffed as he finished his own meal and got up to go see the Headmaster. It mattered little to him of course! She could sit in solitude if she pleased. He preferred it so anyway. _But that cannot be healthy! After all is it not your duty so see that she is well? Do you not owe it to Lily? Are you not obligated to as her future Head of House? I refuse to have her sitting in there sulking all summer! Yes, this is not ideal but she will have to adjust to it!_ And so Severus decided that tomorrow morning she would be coming out for breakfast whether she liked it or not! He wasn't going to cater to her whims! With that thought, Severus closed the door to his office behind him and left for the meeting.

* * *

"This is troubling indeed – and you are sure she cannot be persuaded?" asked Dumbledore pensively.

"If you had seen her you wouldn't be asking such things. The girl nearly broke down," replied Severus evenly.

"It's not impossible of course, but perhaps she would agree to a middle name? That way she need not use it. Has she said anything about her preferences?"

"Not yet. However I doubt she would have decided," Severus replied as he moved to the window.

"I can get the papers of course. Severus, you of course understand that I cannot grant her wishes regarding her surname? We've already discussed your claim over her..."

"I don't believe anyone is suggesting she take my name," said Severus, a bitter taste in his mouth. "But I don't believe you would have any objections to her association with Lily?"

"Of course not," the Headmaster nodded.

"I think that's an excellent idea," added Poppy who was sitting in a chair with her arms crossed.

"I will be sending in the papers and the press statement on Monday. I will need them back before then. I will procure them tonight and have them sent to your quarters tomorrow. You may send them back once she has decided. I take it my personal presence is still unwanted?" Dumbledore continued.

"Absolutely," replied Severus curtly. "Are we done here?"

He wanted nothing more than to be out of the old man's sight but he needed to meet with him if he was to work on behalf of the girl.

"Severus, don't forget the potions. I'm quite serious about that," Poppy reminded him.

Severus nodded in reply and left the room without wishing the Headmaster a good walk back to his own quarters did a lot to cool his anger. Once again the Headmaster had been surprisingly helpful and Severus was no fool. It had to serve some purpose. Was the old man just trying to repair his relationship with the girl? Surely not! Severus was convinced something else was going on and he didn't like it one bit because it was every bit as much him as it was the girl whom the Headmaster was trying to manipulate. He entered his chambers through the seemingly empty wall at the end of a dungeon corridor and stepped into the hallway. His quarters were eerily quiet. Well, they were usually silent as a tomb but with that particular child here Severus would have expected the place to be on fire. A grim suspicion surfaced. She wouldn't have left again would she?

Severus frowned. If she had she would be sorry indeed! He quickly opened the door to what was now her room. She was lying on the bed, on top of the covers, asleep. She was still fully clothed and her fingers were still black with dried ink. Severus sighed. Well, at least she hadn't gotten herself in trouble. It was only 8 pm – she had to be exhausted. He debated whether he should wake up the girl and order her to go to bed properly but quickly decided against it. He didn't need her asking questions about the meeting. Instead he walked over to her and carefully removed her shoes. _Shoes in bed! Haven't she been taught anything at all by that harpy?_ Severus gently pushed the sleeping girl to the side, before pulling back the covers, putting them over her. He didn't need her ill in the morning. It was strange. When she was sleeping, nothing of the fear, anger and distrust remained in her face and Severus found himself able to see her face with any reminders of who she was. With her eyes closed and the scar hidden behind her fringe all mayor reminders that this was Lily's child were gone. There was still something of her. Mostly around the mouth. She looked so much more like... But these were silly thoughts and he quickly banished them. It was no use dwelling on such things. He turned to leave but before he closed the door behind him he flicked his wand and raised the temperature of the room a bit.

 **TBC**


	22. Kitty's Creek

**A/N: I own and make nothing at all.**

 **Dear readers, thank you for your continued support. I know fem!Harry isn't the most well liked of categories. Anyway, I wanted to remind you that warnings will be added as the story progresses. This story is not written with a set of warning tags in mind. I will of course warn you everytime. If anything I add under these warnings offend you, you are welcome to stop reading entirely or to skip that section (I will always list what section to skip). Just to be on the safe side I will remind you that this is a work of fiction and nothing the characters may say or do is meant to represent the authors personal views.**

 **On a final note, if you spot any grammatical or spelling error which I** ** _repeatedly_** **make please, please do tell me so I may try to avoid it. My first language is not English, I was taught British spellings and my spellchecker is American which is rather confusing. Between that I know things slip through the cracks and I must thus rely on you. :) Sorry, for the long A/N. Enjoy!**

* * *

The sound of rapping called Harry back from the realm of sleep. She groaned and turned on her side as she pulled her pillow over her head. She was so warm and snug and here was that awful noise disturbing her. She kept her eyes closed and tried her best to get back to sleep. The rapping ceased and she smiled slightly in her half-woken state.

"Are you deaf?" A deep voice suddenly snapped above her and her eyes opened instantly as her body froze. "Breakfast is in twenty minutes. Get up and get ready," Snape continued as he turned upon his heel and left the room.

He was already dressed in his usual robes. Harry wondered what time it was. She felt like she could sleep at least a few decades longer. It had been quite a while since she had slept quite so well. She sat up in the bed. Speaking of which, she hadn't had any nightmares. Harry could rarely remember them clearly but the awful feeling always lingered and cast a shadow over her mornings. Today, however, she felt relaxed. She blinked. All she wanted was to lie back down and sleep but she didn't think Snape would approve. She sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed her eyes. Why was she sleeping in her dress? Had she fallen asleep on the bed last night? But she had taken the time to remove her shoes and get under the covers.

She got up and stretched before moving to the wardrobe where she removed the clothes McGonagall had given her. She wanted to take a shower but she didn't know whether she was expected to just do that or to ask Snape for permission. Opting for better-safe-than-sorry she grabbed her pile of clothes and padded into the living room.

"Snape?" she called when she found no one there. "Professor?"

"Yes?" came the agitated reply as Snape emerged from one of the forbidden doors which was either the lab or the storage.

"Can I take a shower?" Harry inquired, clutching the ball of clothes.

"May you. And do you really need to ask? I would expect you to of course. Be quick about it."

Harry huffed in reply and quickly escaped into the hallway before Snape could comment upon it. It was incredibly weird spending this much time in Snape's bathroom. The rest of his quarters were manageable but she felt much closer to him than she liked this way. Once she had showered and dressed she stood in front of the mirror as she dried her hair. She looked into the mirror and smirked. Her hair was already falling back in place but for a moment it had been nearly as messy as it used to be. She grimaced. It was still odd seeing that face in the mirror. She liked it well enough but she had to get used to recognizing that as herself. The mirror was clearly not of the talking kind. _Why would Snape have one of those anyway? He doesn't need a mirror to tell him he looks like a bat._ Did she look like a bat too then? Harry shuddered at the thought.

The shirt and jeans McGonagall had given her were slightly too big but not uncomfortably so and in no way like Dudley's clothes had been. Harry put the towel down and it instantly disappeared. What now? _Oh, I forgot to ask if I can eat in my room._ She hesitantly walked back into the hallway. Last night she had asked to eat alone not only because she wanted to be alone but because she didn't want to be sitting in silence looking at Snape for the duration of the meal. She entered the hallway when she heard sounds coming from the kitchen. She entered the kitchen which she had already seen glimpses of. It was very modern and simplistic and looked incredibly clean. When Harry looked at it she got the feeling that it had rarely if ever been used. She had scrubbed Petunia's kitchen enough to know exactly how clean it was possible to get one. The kitchen was connected to both the hallway and the living room but the door to the living room was currently closed. At the other end of the room was a round table with four chairs. Only two were placed by it as the other two chairs were stacked in the corner. The table was already set and the smell of the food upon it reminded Harry just how hungry she was. However, Snape was seated at the table, studying her.

"Sit," he simply ordered, nodded and turned his attention towards a mug by his plate.

Harry eyed him warily. "Uhm, professor, I was wondering if I could..." she began.

"You will sit down and eat your breakfast this very moment," Snape cut her off. "We will be leaving shortly and I wish to be back by noon."

 _So much for asking politely._ She was tempted to say that she wasn't hungry and then return to her room but she couldn't deny that she _was_ hungry. She had skipped meals before – many in fact and though she survived it and was able to carry on with her work she certainly didn't enjoy it. Besides she was really looking forward to getting out of the castle and she wouldn't put it past Snape to leave her behind or not go at all if he was – well, more than usually cross. She sat down a the table and glanced at the selection. There were different types of bread, cheeses, fruits and some jam. Harry looked up to see whether Snape was still watching her. Even though she now was able to take food for herself, she still couldn't if she felt someone was staring at her. Snape was not looking at her. Instead he was slicing an apple with the precision of surgeon. Harry grabbed some bread and the jam and soon began to eat. Sitting there in silence across from _him_ proved to be every bit as uncomfortable as she had imagined it last night. As soon as she finished her plate, Snape pushed a vial towards her.

"You will be taking one of these with every meal."

Harry took the vial. She recognized it as the same supplement Pomfrey had given her the day before. She sent him a distrusting look, uncorked it and quickly swallowed the contents. It was indeed the same thing but since this was Snape she would have expected it to taste absolutely foul. Perhaps he might even have turned it foul just for the fun of watching her drink it but it was just like the one she had gotten in the infirmary.

" _Every_ day?" she grimaced.

Snape raised an eyebrow. "You are underweight and near dangerously so. You have serious vitamin deficiencies. Madam Pomfrey and I agree that you must take this until you are healthy enough to continue without. We expect you to gain several pounds."

"I'm _fine_ ," replied Harry. Really, she felt completely normal and she had always been skinny. Besides she didn't like Pomfrey fussing over her nor did she like being dictated to by Snape.

"You are most definitely _not_ fine. This malnutrition has already impacted your health tremendously – you are much too short for your age," Snape sighed.

"I've always been short," she pointed out.

"I'm sure you have. You will likely begin to grow once your health has been restored and you are eating regularly."

"I'm shorter now that you removed the spell," Harry continued.

"How often did you usually eat?" Snape asked.

"What do you mean? I was there at meals unless I had to train with the rest of the Quidditch team or if Hermione..." she replied.

"I do not mean while at Hogwarts. When you lived with your relatives? How often did you eat?" Snape interrupted her.

Harry could feel the contents of her stomach turn to ice. Without another word she pushed her plate away from her, got up and made to leave the room.

"Po... Come back here at once!" she heard Snape call behind her but she didn't care. Then she felt him grab her wrist and turn her around. "If you do not wish to discuss it with me, you are at liberty to say so, however, you will do so politely. You do _not_ walk out on me in such a manner. It is incredibly rude and disrespectful," the professor scolded her.

Harry didn't know what to do. She could feel tears filling her eyes, but it wasn't only because she was reminded of the Dursleys. What she was sure of, however, was that she didn't want to let Snape see her cry and so she kept her head down as she spoke:

"I'm sorry, sir. May I be excused?"

If Snape could hear the distress in her voice he didn't comment upon it. He let go of her wrist and seemed to study her for a moment.

"I suppose you may. We will leave in 30 minutes. Be ready by then."

Harry didn't wait for further comment. She nodded and left for the safety of her room.

* * *

What was he supposed to do? A part of him wanted to send her to her room and leave her there while he got the things she needed by himself. Another part of him protested that this was just as much his fault. He knew what might go on in the mind of a child who had lived in such conditions. He _knew._ He shouldn't have simply asked her that question over breakfast! What was he thinking? The girl's reaction was very understandable but even so it wasn't acceptable. It would seem he would have to teach this girl every common courtesy. He decided that scolding her had been enough for now. He didn't want her any more upset if they were going out. She was quite capable of making a scene without the added incentive. It was becoming increasingly difficult to address her without using a first name which either she or he disliked or a surname which he absolutely despised. This morning he had received a letter from the Headmaster as promised and it contained the form for name change. Severus had decided it would be better to show the girl this in the evening. Otherwise she might spend the entire day thinking about it.

* * *

Harry was trying her best to keep up with Snape without falling. It had clearly rained during the night because the paths were slightly muddy and the grass was wet. She was wearing a black cloak which Snape had handed her. She had been instructed to stay close and keep the hood down until they were off the grounds. _If I had my invisibility cloak I could have been out in a minute._ Harry had become quite annoyed when Snape repeatedly either pushed her behind him, closed doors on her or hissed at her to wait for him whenever he heard someone approaching in the hallways. They had moved very slowly indeed. They were now nearly off the grounds and Harry was getting excited. Snape closed the gate to the Hogwarts grounds behind them.

"Umm... Professor? I was wondering. Would anyone recognize me? Is that why we won't go to Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade?"

"It is possible that some might," Snape answered in a bored voice. "That is not the main reason. Had you gone with professor McGonagall you might have gone to Hogsmeade where you have not been seen before. Even if you are not recognized the sight of me shopping with an unidentified child would be nearly as great a spectacle in Hogsmeade as Harry Potter would be."

Harry smirked. She could imagine that.

"In other words, we are going to a place where I am not well known," Snape concluded.

Harry skipped after him. Maybe it was the sun. Maybe it was the fresh air. Maybe it was not being confined to a place – whether it be 4 Privet Drive, McGonagall's or Snape's quarters. Either way she felt like she could breathe for the first time in days. It didn't matter that Snape was there like a big storm cloud in horizon. She actually got to do something other than sit around and wait for her fate to be dictated to her. The flat shoes Petunia had bought were already muddy even though Harry had been extra careful.

"Take my arm," said Snape as he stopped and looked stiffly ahead.

 _Oh, no! Not this again!_ She carefully took the man's arm but once again she didn't have time to brace herself before she landed on a cobblestone street. A moment later she felt someone pull her to her feet. Her head was spinning and after eating she knew that the risk of being sick was high. She covered her mouth with her hand and supported herself which she initially thought was a wall until she realized the wall was wearing black robes at which point she jerked away and nearly lost her breakfast in doing so.

"Are you ready to continue?" Snape said stiffly.

"Yeah, I just... I'm sorry, sir," she mumbled in reply as the world came into focus once more.

Snape nodded. "Stay near me. I mean it, you _do not_ wander off. I trust I do not need to remind you to behave?"

Harry stared. The houses were old. She didn't know how old they were but she would guess they were 17th or 18th century. Perhaps they differed in age? Many houses were very crooked while other stood completely strait. They were standing a little ways into an alley and thus were slightly hidden. It lead to a narrow street which reminded her of Diagon Alley although it was nowhere near as packed with people. Snape had already begun making his way out onto the street and Harry picked up her pace to catch up with him.

"Sir? Where exactly are we?" she inquired when she reached him.

"Kitty's Creek," Snape replied as if Harry should know everything about it.

"But where is that?" Harry pressed.

Snape sighed. "Tell me, do you or do you not have a book in your trunk entitled _A History of Wizarding Communities in Britain_?"

Harry swallowed. That was one of the books which had been required for the history of magic classes.

"Yes, sir," she replied. "But we never had anything about any Kitty! Professor Binns only talks about goblin wars!"

"Even so you were required to read that book and if you had you would most likely not be asking me stupid questions now since every known wizarding village in Britain is listed there."

"Even if I did how am I supposed to remember anyway if _every_ village is listed?" protested Harry.

"Ah, so you didn't in fact read the book? I'm hardly surprised considering your lack of dedication in my own class."

"Nobody ever learns anything in history classes anyway," she frowned.

"They would if they applied themselves. Now, if it will stop this nonsense, Kitty's Creek is in Somerset. Here, we may as well start there," said Snape and lead Harry into a clothing store.

There weren't many customers in the store only two teens and a man who were walking around by themselves. The store was full of racks with garments in every color. A witch with yellow hair and a a bright purple robe left the counter and came towards them.

"Welcome to Todd's. How can I help you today?" she smiled widely.

"The girl is in need of clothing," Snape replied as though the sight of the woman was offensive to him. Still, her smile did not falter. She simply turned her attention to Harry.

"Of course! What do you need, sweety?"

"She will need an entire wardrobe," Snape replied on Harry's behalf.

"Right this way, sweety!" the witch smiled as she took Harry by the hand and lead her deeper into the jungle of clothes. "How old are you? Seven?"

Harry, who was trying the free her hand discreetly, heard Snape mutter something behind them and simply replied: "Erh, no I'm 11." Did she really look that small?

"Oh, of course! What would you like? What is your favorite color? What is your name, dear?"

"Erh, I don't know, ma'am. Perhaps some shirts or something," Harry answered.

"Veronica, dear! Do you like pink? You must really try this then!" the woman smiled and held up a pale pink blouse.

"She most certainly will not," Snape suddenly sneered behind them. "You will find something decent or we will take our business elsewhere!"

"Certainly, sir!" chuckled the woman, although Harry now detected a bit of agitation in her voice.

They started with jeans. Harry found at least two black pairs and one dark blue she liked. The had expected to choose between them but Snape merely nodded at the woman who put them aside as soon as Harry had tried it. Next they moved on to shirts.

"I don't know what to choose," she said when faced with the task of deciding.

"I suggest you get on with it otherwise I will have to choose for you," Snape smirked behind them. Harry's eyes grew wide and she instantly returned to her search even though she was pretty sure he was joking. Of course she didn't want to risk it regardless. She had found two T-shirts and a few regular white shirts when the woman spoke.

"Do you like this?" she inquired and held up a plaid skirt.

"Umm, I don't really wear that stuff," Harry replied.

"Oh, you never wear dresses either? Then I shan't bother you with it unless you want to try anything."

Harry thought for a moment. She had two dresses back in her wardrobe that she intended to burn at the first opportunity. Still she hadn't exactly disliked the feeling as much as she disliked Petunia's taste. Perhaps it wouldn't be that bad to just try while she had the chance? At the very least Snape might be annoyed that she was wasting time which was a treat in itself.

"I'd like to try. Just try."

Veronica smiled widely and Harry glanced up at Snape who looked surprised. The woman lead her back to the dressing room and said she would find something fun for her to try. The first dress she returned with Harry refused to try on. It looked way to much like the second of Petunia's dresses. The second dress she brought was interesting. It was bright red and swishy and more than a little adult. She stood in front of the mirror, moving her hips to make the dress move when she heard a voice behind her.

"That is absolutely ridiculous! When would you wear such a thing?" sneered Snape and Harry nearly jumped through the roof.

"You don't like the color?" she smirked even though she herself thought it was a bit much.

Snape simply huffed and left. Harry closed the curtain and changed back to her shirt and jeans. A few moments later Veronica returned for the dress carrying two other ones. Harry smiled and argued that she didn't need to try any more on but Veronica urged her to try those before she closed the curtain behind them. Both dresses were pinafore dresses in smooth but not overly fancy fabric. One was black and the other was dark grey. Veronica pulled the black one over Harry's head and placed it over her clothes like that.

"It's not normal to wear jeans with it but what do you think?"

"Erhm..."

Harry didn't dislike it. Actually she rather liked the look of this. She twirled in the dress and smirked. This didn't at all look like the things Petunia had brought home nor was it lavish like the red one. She could run in this, jump in this. It would be something fun to have.

"Do you like it?" the woman smiled widely.

"Yes, ma'am! Very much so!" nodded Harry. She might actually get these.

"Excellent! Your father will be very happy to hear that!"

"What?!" gasped Harry and stared at the woman's reflection. Did she really look that much like Snape or was the woman just assuming?

"Yes, he picked them out for you, sweety! Let me take these and I'll take them out to the other things," said Veronica and pulled the dress over Harry's head before disappearing with both of them. Harry stood stunned for a moment. She didn't know whether the feel happy that Snape approved of them or upset that he did and he picked them for her. How could they have the same taste in anything? Then she went back out to the counter. Snape was sitting on a chair in the corner looking equally displeased and bored.

"She will need stocking with these," said the woman to Snape as she put the dresses on the counter.

Snape raised an eyebrow at Harry and smirked infuriatingly. Harry didn't have time to glare at him however for she turned to the woman.

"Oh, no! Please! I don't need stockings! I really hate those!" she pleaded. And it was true. She had only worn them twice at least that she could remember and the first time she had been forced into them and the second she had found them impossible to put on.

"I dare say I can find some knee high socks. That takes care of trousers, shirts, dresses and I'll find some regular socks as well. That leaves underwear and outerwear."

"For Merlin's sake," muttered Snape from the corner as he stared out of the window.

* * *

 _Will that woman ever be quiet?!_ Severus was reminded of why exactly all his clothes had been tailored by the same old man in Knockturn Alley who did little more than sneer and ask for payment. This was torture. He knew the girl needed practically everything and he wasn't about to deny her that but did it really have to take this long? A part of him wanted to get up, tear a few decent things of racks and tell the girl that this was what she was getting and she had better be happy about it. But no he couldn't do that. Still, he kept a watchful eye on everything that ghastly woman put on the counter. More than once had he seen her hand thing to the girl that were by no means age appropriate. And what was with all these short shirts that left part of the stomach bare? Was this supposed to be fashionable now? Every time she had put something of the sort down he had gotten up, removed it and demanded that she change it to something more appropriate. Now that the girl returned from the dressing rooms she eyed the pile suspiciously. Severus wasn't certain whether she had spotted his additions and was displeased or whether she hadn't approved of all the woman's additions either.

* * *

The last 15 minutes they spend in the shop, Harry was just standing around near the counter while Snape sat in the chair looking miserable and the woman flew about the store searching for things. Harry had completely given up on searching for things herself and simply let the woman suggest something and then either agree or disagree. Why? Because firstly she had never had to buy clothes for herself before. Not like this. She had bought her school robes with Hagrid but they were all uniform and mandatory so there were no choices involved. That brought her to the second point – the overwhelming sensation of having a choice. She'd spend the last week wishing she'd be given a choice – any choice. She had been looking forward to finally having a say over something. But now that she stood here with hundreds of opportunities she found that she couldn't pick all by herself.

"As for coats and jackets I'm afraid you're a very small size. Most of what we have in those sizes are pink or purple," said Veronica. "These are the most fashionable I could find."

She held up four coat and showed them to Harry one by one. One was a black coat and rather long. The second was a short green summer jacket. The third was rather sporty and grey. But Harry only had eyes for the fourth. Of course she didn't realize it but Veronica was at that moment thoroughly amused as she had an excellent view of both Harry's delight and Snape's disgust. It was a summer jacket. Not very thick but warm enough for the summer nights and it was dark cherry red and white. It was rather sporty and clearly modeled after the jackets Quidditch teams sometimes wore over their shirts before games.

"That one!" Harry said excitedly.

"You have to be kidding me!" Snape sneered from the corner. "Just get on with it will you?" he continued when the woman paused to look at him. Then she smiled and began ringing it up.

Just then Harry remembered her worries from earlier. That pile of clothes had to be terribly expensive and there was absolutely no way what she had left of her pocket money from last year could even begin to cover that! Carefully she edged closer to Snape and out of the woman's range of hearing.

"Umm, sir? I don't... We didn't go to the bank first! I'm sorry I forgot but I need to to pay for this!"

"Do not worry about it," Snape replied in a bored voice.

"But..."

"I said: Do not worry yourself. The Headmaster had a sum put aside to cover your relatives' expenses on your behalf. It has been taken care of."

"Oh," was all Harry could say to that. The thought hadn't occurred to her. Then Snape got up from the chair and paid for the pile with money from a bag which he had retrieved from some hidden place inside his robes. Harry didn't have much of an understanding of wizard money since she had only used it rarely but it sounded like it was quite a bit.

"I'll shrink it for you. Perhaps you want to wear this?" smiled the woman and held out the jacket for Harry, who eagerly put it on.

"We do not have all day," hissed Snape who was clearly reaching his limit.

"Of course! My, you are a lucky young lady to be getting all new clothes! Might I say by the way, I love your hair! Short is so very modern! Now, look at you! I say, sir, your daughter looks very pretty!"

Harry's heart stopped momentarily as she held her breath. It was one thing for the woman to make that assumption around Harry alone but around both of them was a different matter entirely. She honestly didn't know how to feel about the whole blood relation situation. One one hand she wanted it to not be true or at the very least that they could pretend it wasn't and everything would be normal. On the other hand she felt horrible because she wasn't alone in that. She might be confused but she knew for a fact that Snape hated her and was absolutely disgusted by this. She couldn't bear it when it was brought up around them both not only because she didn't want to think about it but because the look on Snape's face whenever it had been discussed was a constant reminder of how horrible being in any way related to her was. It was the same look she had seen in her aunt and uncle's eyes. She waited. Snape could acknowledge it and play along but he was most likely going to tell the woman that they were absolutely not related and how could she think that. It was Harry's fault anyway for not correcting the woman earlier. Surprisingly he did neither of that. He simply put the last of the shrinked packages in his pocket and turned to Harry.

"We are leaving."

* * *

Harry's chest felt empty. She walked behind Snape as they entered a bookstore. Snape turned to her, gave her the one word command of "stay" before he disappeared among the shelves. She didn't know what to feel. She both wanted to know what he was thinking and was afraid of knowing. One thing she was sure of: Either of her own answers had been better than his. What did that even mean? She wanted to know were she stood with him but she was afraid to bring it up herself. Did all of this mean anything to him? It would have been so easy for him to simply state that that woman was mistaken. Harry needed to hear that. It would be some form of closure. Then she would know she was not alone in pretending it wasn't true.

Consumed by these thoughts she stared out through the store window. The street was becoming busier as noon slowly approached. Just as Harry was deciding that Snape was a git, she saw something in the street. _Is that? No, it can't be! No, it totally is!_ Out there two redheaded boys and a just as redheaded woman passed by. Could it really be the twins? It _was_ the twins! And the woman had to be their mother! Harry suddenly remembered how much she missed Ron. Without giving her altered appearance a single thought Harry ran out the door and onto the street.

"George! Fred!" she called but the three were too far down the street by now to hear her. Harry glanced back at the store. Surely she could catch up with them and talk to them before Snape was done with whatever he was doing. True, the twins didn't know she was a girl but surely they could pass on a message to Ron. She turned and ran down the street, carefully zigzagging between the other people. She could still see the redheaded woman's head and saw them turn down another street. When Harry followed she found she had lost then. Where had they gone? Where they in one of the shops or had they gone down another street. She took at quick decision and ran down another street. At the end she found herself at a square where several streets met. Harry began searching the square but after five minutes she was sure of two things: She had lost the twins and she couldn't remember which direction she had come from. Harry spun around a few times, trying to take in her surroundings. She could feel her heart pounding and she was slowly starting to panic. She sat down on the edge on a fountain in the center of the square and stared at her feet. _What am I going to do? Do I ask for directions? Where would I ask for directions to? What was the name of the book store? Damn, I can't remember! Think! Was it very far from the clothing store? If I got there could I find my way?_ Harry was thinking a hundred thoughts a second when suddenly the hem of a black robe appeared within her field of vision. Harry looked up and into a familiar pair of black eyes. Snape's arms were crossed and his lips were in such a tight line that Harry half expected steam to come out of his ears any minute.

"You... Are in a world of trouble, young lady," he hissed and Harry was torn between relief and fearing for her life.

"I can explain!" exclaimed Harry and jumped to her feet.

"Indeed?" replied Snape shortly but he was clearly not interested in hearing the explanation because he grabbed her arm and in the next moment Harry was squeezed into spaghetti before she landed hard on the path near the Hogwarts gates. Harry stumbled to her feet and only barely managed to pull up the hood of her cloak before she was dragged back towards the castle. She opened her mouth to protest but quickly closed it due to a combination of queasiness and a lack of something clever to say. Harry had plenty of time to come up with several good answers but the moment the door to Snape's office finally shut behind them and Snape turned to face her everything she had planned to say was forgotten.

 **TBC**


	23. Never let the light die

**A/N: I own and make nothing.**

 **WARNINGS: Minor CP warning - skip section three. Warnings for this chapter should not be viewed as a general theme for this fic - because it is not.**

* * *

" _Explain._ " The word sent chills down Harry's spine and she unknowingly took a step backwards. Snape was looming over her like a panther, ready to pounce. "Interesting. You insisted you could explain your behavior yet now you have nothing to say?" Snape was glaring daggers at her and seemed to tremble with either rage, energy or both. Sure enough, when Harry's reaction was to look at her muddy shoes, he turned and began pacing furiously in front of his desk.

"I just," Harry started when suddenly there was a loud knock on the door. Snape gave her one glare before he touched the book and sneered: "Get in!"

He shut the door behind her and Harry found herself in Snape's living room all by herself. At least now she would have a chance to prepare some kind of explanation. Well, honestly, wasn't her only fault here that she got lost? And how was she supposed to know she would get lost? But then Snape _had_ told her not to wander off.

" _What_ do you think?!" she suddenly heard Snape's voice roar behind the door. She gasped in surprised and turned to face it. Seeing as the door was only permanently visible from this side it had never occurred to her that she would be able to hear anything through it. Who was Snape talking to anyway? He sounded like he was about to murder them and Harry gulped since she had no way of knowing if all that fury was really meant for her. In any case she was glad she wasn't the first person trying to have a conversation with Snape after their return. Curious and more than a little afraid she crept closer and put her ear against the door.

"Calm down! I'm certain it isn't like that!" she heard McGonagall's stern voice say.

"Any suggestions?" Snape huffed. When silence followed he continued: "My, my, Minerva! Have you no clever answers? Seeing as you claim to be such an _expert_ I would have thought..."

"Severus, that was uncalled for," McGonagall replied stiffly. "All I'm saying is you might want to keep it in mind. I will return later when you are able to have a civil conversation." Then Harry could hear Snape replying something but it was too muffled by the door to be understandable. "Oh?" she heard McGonagall exclaim and then she too lowered her voice. Harry pressed her ear harder against the door. There were sounds but she couldn't make them out. The next moment she flew backwards and landed on the carpet as the door was flung open.

Snape was towering over her. It took a moment for Harry to register what had happened. She saw Snape's scowl deepen as he looked down at her. Then he leaned forward and reached for her. She assumed he was going to help her up and began trying to get up herself. Her suspicion was confirmed when she felt Snape's hand grabbing her upper arm as he swiftly pulled her to her feet. He released her for just a moment then Harry let out a soft whimper as she felt Snape's fingers pinching her ear.

"Do not _ever_ let me find you eavesdropping on my private conversations again," Snape near whispered.

"N-no, professor," was all she managed to get out.

"Good," Snape replied. He gave her poor ear one final tug before he released her and pointed to the couch. "Sit down."

Harry didn't need to be told twice. How could she be that stupid? He was already furious with her and she had to go and make it worse? And for what?

* * *

Severus watched as the girl stumbled over to the couch. He was livid to say the least. How much of his conversation with Minerva had the girl heard? There was nothing to be done for that now. What was he going to do about her behavior in Kitty's Creek? Minerva had dared to suggest that he 'shouldn't be too hard on her'. As if he would be. From Severus' point of view anything he had considered so far was lenient. If _he_ had done such a thing at her age his father would have given him a whipping right then and there. He walked across the room and stood in front of the girl.

"I believe you were about to say something before we were interrupted?" he stated.

"I just wanted to talk to them," the girl mumbled as she studied her knees.

"Who?"

"Fred and George. They were there. I saw them, I think it was their mum with them."

"Look at me," Severus demanded. Slowly the girl raised her eyes and blinked. "Did I not tell you not to wander off?"

"I didn't think I would be gone for long! I just wanted to say hi!" she replied.

"Are you not supposed to remain hidden for now? Did you not stop to think that they would not recognize you?"

"I could have explained it to them! Isn't it supposed to be known soon anyway? They are my friends! They wouldn't tell!" she protested.

Severus sighed and began pacing again. "And so you would simply begin explaining everything in an open street would you? Think! Use that brain of yours for once! If you had said a word publicly it would be all over the news by tomorrow!" he hissed.

"Oh," mumbled the girl and once again lowered her head.

"And that is not even the worst of it! You ran off into the streets of a town you did not know! Harry Potter or not! Have you any idea how dangerous that is? Have you any idea what could have happened to you? A lost child alone?" Severus was borderline yelling at this point. Of course she didn't. To his knowledge no one had ever cared enough about her life to tell her that before she arrived at school and while at Hogwarts she had been allowed to roam the hallways after curfew and far more dangerous places with minimal consequences.

"It's not like I meant to get lost," the girl said in small voice.

"You are lucky I saw you go or I would still be searching the village for you! You are currently my responsibility and I will not allow you to endanger yourself so foolishly. How do you think I felt watching you storm out of that door?"

"I don't know," sneered the girl, now audibly upset. "How _did_ you feel?"

"Do not take that tone with me!" Severus replied.

"I don't know what you think! I can't read your bloody mind!" cried the girl as she jumped off the couch. "What do you care anyway? What's it to you if I die? Why should it matter?"

Was it the fury in her voice? The way she spat out the words? The amount of anger he was trying to control? The accusation she was indirectly making? The cursing? Severus didn't know. Time seemed to slow down. Something sent him over the edge. At that moment it somehow felt exactly right to him.

* * *

 _I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!_ This was all Harry could think as she attempted to stare down a man more than three times her size. However, the moment the last of her words left her mouth she saw something flash in Snape's eyes. Now she was frightened. She didn't know what it meant but she was pretty sure it signaled Snape's transcension from furious to murderous. She opened her mouth to speak – what she meant to say she did not know. However, in the next moment everything became wrong as Snape grabbed her arm and Harry was spun to the side. She didn't have time to think a single thought before a hard smack landed on her backside. Harry gasped but was otherwise too dazed to react. _Did he just...? He didn't really...?_ But confirmation came in the form of another smack and then Harry was spun back to face Snape. She couldn't say anything. She just stood there with wide, watery eyes and tried to comprehend what had just happened.

"I trust I have your attention? Don't you _ever_ say such things again, do you hear me?" Snape hissed at her. "Have you any idea how hard we are trying to protect you? Do you not understand how important your safety is? I did not spend a year protecting you to have you die foolishly because you will not listen!"

"I..." Harry choked out in a small voice. Tears were already running silently down her cheeks. She wanted to run into her room and hide but Snape was still holding onto her. Her backside was still stinging slightly and reminding her of what had just happened. How could he do that? No one had ever done _that_ to her before! What was she – five? _Greasy git!_

Snape sighed somewhere above her. "Sit down." He guided her over to the couch. Harry sat down slowly, careful to keep an eye on him as she did so. Snape joined her on the couch but did not look at her. Instead he steepled his fingers and stared at the wall opposite them. "I had thought..." Snape suddenly broke the silence. "...that we might be able to get through this without you throwing yourself in harms way. Clearly I was mistaken. I did not know you had any close friendship with the Weasley twins?" Snape said this as though he was simultaneously doubting that she did and annoyed that she did.

"They are Ron's brothers," Harry sniffed. What else could she say? She knew them. She had spoken to them often but she only really had two friends – Ron and Hermione. Because they knew her secret and they hadn't rejected her for it. Well, they knew _one_ secret. "I just needed to talk to someone. I'm sorry, sir," Harry offered. Her face was wet with tears by now and she was sniffing repeatedly, trying in vain to prevent a large amount of snot from running down her face. She was angry but above all she was embarrassed and sad. She was embarrassed that Snape had smacked her and that she had made him angry enough to do so. She was angry because he thought he had the right to. She was sad because...

"I don't believe professor McGonagall or Madam Pomfrey are refusing to speak to you. I know for a fact the Headmaster would like nothing more than to speak to you," Snape said and interrupted her train of thought.

"They don't really talk to me and neither do you," Harry sniffed before she could think. She had now resorted to crying into her hand and there was no stopping the flow of liquids.

"Then what am I doing at the moment?" said Snape as he turned to face her.

"You don't! None of you tell me anything! Not really!" Harry sobbed with embarrassment as she realized Snape had noticed how yucky she was.

"Oh, for goodness sake! Here! Take care of your face! I cannot understand you when you are speaking into your hand." Snape handed her a handkerchief from a pocket within his robes.

Harry picked it up but she hesitated to use it. It was fabric and completely white and Harry never had understood why people would use anything other than paper ones. If she dried her face with this it would surely be ready for the bin. However, the situation was becoming dire and so she blew her nose and wiped her face before it got any worse. A moment later the handkerchief disappeared and Harry looked up to see Snape watching her. He didn't look as furious as he had just a moment earlier. He looked displeased but almost exhausted. She glared at him the best she could.

"You... You can't do that," Harry protested as she found her courage now that Snape didn't seem as ready to kill her.

"Do what? Offer you a handkerchief?" Snape replied sarcastically.

"You hit me," she stated. Snape stared at her. She could have sworn he looked sad for a moment but then his expression changed and he was clearly offended.

"I did _not_ ," Snape slowly replied. "I smacked you and don't you dare say you didn't deserve it! I will admit I might have warned you but perhaps you might pay attention now."

Harry huffed and turned her back on him. She wanted to scream at him but she didn't dare. She wasn't entirely sure he wouldn't do it again. _Well, I'm not going to apologize to him! Mean old bat!_ Then Harry froze. Something had landed on her shoulder and Harry had to turn her head ever so slightly to confirm what just happened. Snape squeezed her shoulder gently but Harry did not look at him. She simply stared at his hand.

"Do you have anything to say to me?" said Snape calmly.

Harry couldn't help it. The tears came back as she endlessly repeated the word ' _why_ ' in her mind. Why would he make it out as though she mattered? To whom? And why? Even if McGonagall had told her that she would still wonder why. Here was a man who had done nothing but belittle her in public for a year who turned out to have protected her due to something with James. Then he turns out to be her actual father, takes her away and then doesn't mention it at all afterwards? Now he smacked her and told her her life matters. She felt conflicted and she had been ready to hate him for it just a moment ago. It was a small gesture but somehow Harry felt this was the kindest thing he had ever done for her – regardless of saving her life. When McGonagall did kind things for her she didn't put much into it. She had with Ron and Hermione at first but they were friends. Snape had always hated her so it had to be a lot from him, right? It had to mean something, right?

"I'm sorry," she mumbled and closed her eyes. He would let go of her now. Surprisingly he didn't right away. They just sat there for a long silent moment until he spoke:

"Very well, I suggest you go to your room, change your shoes and put away the clothes."

With that he rose from the couch and took the parcels out of his pockets before enlarging them and sending them to her room. Then he moved towards the door to his office. She stumbled onto her feet. Was that all he had to say? Harry couldn't help but feel at little slighted that he hadn't acknowledged her apology more. She paused before the door leading to the hallway.

"I really am sorry," she mumbled and waited for something – anything. "I know it was stupid."

"Next time we go out you had better remember that," Snape said coldly.

"Next time?" Harry couldn't believe her ears.

"We had to cut our trip short today due to your little misadventure, did we not? But I am warning you," replied the man as he turned to give her a pointed look. "If I cannot trust you there will not be a next time. When you have finished putting the clothes away you may come out for lunch and we can discuss your punishment for what you did today."

"But you already..." Harry protested.

"That was for putting no value in your life and accusing us of doing the same. I don't believe we've addressed running off in unfamiliar places – risking your life."

With that he turned and opened the door to the office. Harry headed for her room, rolling her eyes and muttering something about old bats who were completely impossible.

* * *

"This is torture!" Harry muttered, glancing back at Snape who was sitting at his desk looking infuriatingly pleased with himself.

" _Indeed?_ " replied Snape. "If you spent as much time on your work as you do complaining about it I dare say you might be finished by now."

"Not fair. Mean old..." Harry muttered into her book.

"I _heard_ that!" Snape cut her off. Harry sighed dramatically. She didn't for a moment think he might take pity on her if she looked miserable enough but it wasn't for lack of trying. She chewed the end of her quill in annoyance. Harry really didn't think she deserved this. Wasn't it enough that Snape had yelled at her, pulled her ear and smacked her? She blushed with embarrassment just thinking about that. It's not like she approved of that either but she could see why he might not be pleased with what she did. If she had to be honest it _was_ pretty stupid.

"I cannot hear you working," a low voice said from the desk.

"I'm _thinking_!" she replied as she once again looked up at the man who was reading something of his own.

"That will be a first," he smirked and for a moment locked eyes with her, causing Harry to hastily return her gaze to her book. "Now, stop your whining and finish up. I have something important to show you when you are finished."

Harry's ears perked at that. What could it be? Had it something to do with school? She was brought back from her thoughts by Snape clearing his throat. She sighed and looked down at her ink covered hand. Who even gave lines this way? Crazy Potions Masters, that's who! Her copy of _A History of Wizarding Communities in Britain_ lay open before her. Snape had demanded that since she clearly was interested in wizarding communities and couldn't be bothered to do her homework he would 'help' her in that regard. She huffed. Now she was stuck writing down the name and founding year of every magical village in England since Merlin knows when. She was actually quite appreciative he had limited it to the English ones. The ridiculous part of this punishment was that the names and years were not listed in some easily copied list but rather she had to skim every page in search of them – and Snape knew this very well! At this point she had been at it for hours!

 _... near Oak Hills. The signing of this agreement took place in Kitty's Creek which as this point housed the court of the region. Kitty's Creek had been connected to the legal system since its founding in 1672 due to its connection with the Leseley family. It ceased to be a center of power due to the surge in prejudice against muggleborns in the early 18th century but remained a center for trade due to the influence of the Leseley family. Kitty's Creek was named for Kitty Miller, a muggleborn witch from the no longer existing village of Grenning, not two miles from the location of Kitty's Creek in Somerset. Not much is known about Kitty Miller except for the fact that she was the daughter of a local clerk, one out of six siblings and 14 at the time of her death. In mid 1662 it is known from a surviving letter that Sir Fagus Leseley wrote to the local priest, making inquiries about Kitty Miller and rumors that strange accidents had been happening around the girl. He requested that the girl be sent to Leseley manor so that he might look into the matter himself. However, this never came to pass as on the 18th of August 1662 Kitty Miller got into a heated argument with her parents, reportedly over the price of the fish she had brought home and by way of accidental magic the Miller home caught fire. The fire managed to spread to several other buildings before it was stopped at which point the villagers chased the Miller girl out of the village. The girl fled into the forest and managed to travel near two miles until she came to a creek near Leseley manor. It is assumed that the manor was her intended destination but whether the girl was aware that the Leseleys were a magical family remains unknown. Hearing the villagers closing in on her she attempted to cross the creek but slipped on the wet stones and was captured. She was hanged in Grenning later the same day. A memorial was later built near the creek, commissioned by Magnolia Leseley, Sir Leseley's eldest daughter. This was later rebuilt into a chapel which drew many visitors from the magical world as it was believed that Kitty Miller's spirit would protect travelers who lit candles there from persecution. A decade later the area was cleared by Sir Ulmus Leseley and inns were built to accommodate the many travelers and from this the village grew. The creek survives to this day in form of a channel running through the center of town._

Harry took a deep breath. She wondered whether Hermione had read all this. _Of course she has!_ She would like Kitty, Harry knew _she_ did anyway. She knew what it was like to feel wrong for being magical. She could only imagine what it would have been like for her had her aunt and uncle not known about magic and feared the anger of the wizards more than they hated her.

"What are you doing?" The sound of Snape's voice made her jump slightly. She looked up at the professor.

"I was just thinking... About something I read," she answered. "About Kitty's Creek."

"I see," Snape nodded.

"Can I ask you something?"

"If you must," Snape said in a detached manner and gestured for her to continue.

"Is that why the muggles can't know?"

"Partly," replied Snape as he studied her.

"It said... It said that people hated muggleborns more later on." Harry didn't really know how to phrase this question. She hadn't really given any thought to it at all but Snape was the head of Slytherin. Harry suddenly felt slightly unwell. Then he was most likely a pureblood and he most likely disliked muggleborns every bit as much as Malfoy. She had never actually asked. But then she had another thought. If Snape was her father he had to have liked her mum didn't he? And had they not said Snape and her mother had been very close at some point? Harry chose to believe this and dismissed the thought that Snape might dislike muggleborns. She didn't think she could bear it if that was true.

"It wasn't always bad? I thought it was very bad in the past. And weren't the Leseley's purebloods then? They sounded like that!"

"They _are_ purebloods, but the general attitude to blood has not always been the same. During the Commonwealth of England and in the years following witches and wizards had to be especially careful and thus there was a greater sense of community and solidarity. These things change over time. As for the Leseley's, they have never been very concerned with _blood purity_. Their interests lie in different places. You will find them in all corners of the legal system throughout the last five centuries. There is currently a Ravenclaw by the name of Leseley at Hogwarts. I believe he is in his fifth year."

"Oh," was all Harry could say. The Leseley's weren't like Malfoy then. Not that she thought they were like the Weasleys but at least they were more like that.

"I think that is enough. It will be time for dinner soon and I will not be accused of starving you. How far have you gotten?" said Snape as he rose from his chair and made his way over to Harry.

"About 200," shrugged Harry. She honestly hadn't been keeping count for the last hour.

"That will do. I suggest you go and wash your hands," replied Snape as he tapped Harry's ink stained hand with a long thin finger.

* * *

"What is that?"

A pair of large green eyes looked at him questioningly and Severus took a deep breath. It had been a long day and he was pretty sure he had aged a decade. As he looked down at the girl he couldn't help but feel both disgusted and powerless. He was itching to know exactly what had happened to her in that muggle home. _What's it to you if I die? Why should it matter?_ He heard her words again and again in his mind. These were possibly just the words of an upset child and Severus might have taken them as such had she not just proven by her actions that she meant something by it. He would never admit it but perhaps he had been too hard on her. After all she couldn't be blamed for what she was raised to believe. But no! Allowing her to think and act this way would unacceptable. He had not been prepared for her reaction. How she completely and utterly fell apart. That wasn't about two smacks that was for certain. He had not known what to do. Usually when he had a weeping child on his hands he would send them to Pomfrey or let the prefects handle it. He was not good with crying children but this was no ordinary child. This was _his_ child. Should he hug her? Leave her alone? He didn't know but eventually settled for touching her shoulder in what he hoped was a reassuring way. It had done _something_.

Severus Snape had never expected to grow old. The only times he had dared to dream of some form of decent life was when he was with Lily Evans. It was a miracle in fact that he was still around. He came out on the other side of the war unharmed and free when by all rights he should be dead or in Azkaban. If Dumbledore's instinct was correct and the Dark Lord would rise again he was unlikely to be as lucky a second time. But there was the girl now. She was every bit as cheeky and reckless as he had always known her to be but he no longer saw James when he looked at her. He saw no arrogance only fear and defensiveness. In fact what he saw and what he realized had always been there was a troubled child with a good heart. She was everything he would leave behind and she was the purest thing he had ever created. How could he let that light die? Even if he couldn't be there to see her grow he would at least ensure that she came out on the other side of this victorious.

"This is what I wanted to talk to you about," Severus replied and gave her a pointed look.

She quickly put her feet back on the floor. Not ten minutes ago she had decided to question the need for the nutrient potion yet again. She had quickly obeyed once he reminded her that there were plenty more village names for her to write down. She had been sulking ever since lunch but Severus chose to ignore it. She was sitting in one of the armchairs in the living room. To Severus' annoyance she continued to draw up her legs, resting her feet in the chair.

"No shoes in the furniture," he reminded her and sat in the other armchair. He placed the papers on the small table between them but hesitated before pushing them towards her. "I've discussed your objections concerning your name with the Headmaster and he agreed that you may legally change your name if you should wish to do so. This is the official form needed." He waited for the girl to speak but she remained completely silent with her eyes glued to the papers in front of him.

"This will be sent in on Monday. I will need to send them back for the Headmaster to sign before then so you have until Sunday to make a decision."

She looked up at that. "D... Professor Dumbledore has to sign?" she grimaced.

"Yes," Severus replied. "He is still your magical guardian and his signature is required for this to be legal. I should mention that while this is your decision we do have some suggestions."

" _Suggestions_ ," repeated the girl, rolling her eyes.

"Our _suggestions_ ," Severus continued as he raised his voice slightly. "Are in regards to your middle and surname."

"Why can't I just be Harry? Just Harry?" inquired the girl as a soft ringing from the wards told Severus that someone was requesting entrance to his chambers.

* * *

"Quiet!" Snape hissed as he got up and immediately flew into the hallway. Harry was left looking in the direction he had disappeared and wondering what on earth she had said to offend him. However a moment later he reappeared and Harry breathed a sigh of relief when he spoke:

"All is well. We have company."

The next moment McGonagall stepped in behind him.

"Good evening, Harry, how are you?" McGonagall greeted her. Harry was about to get up from the chair when Snape gestured for her to remain seated. McGonagall stopped in the doorway and looked Harry over as though she was an essay. Satisfied with whatever she saw, she turned to Snape and continued:

"I trust I am not interrupting something important, Severus?"

"As a matter of fact we were just discussing her name," he replied and when McGonagall neither spoke nor moved he continued: "Perhaps, you would care to join us?"

"I would," replied McGonagall sternly and moved to sit on the couch. Harry wasn't quite sure what but clearly something was going on because Snape sounded uncomfortable and McGonagall was using a tone Harry had only heard in connection with the words ' _Mr Potter, I am deeply disappointed_ '. "Do not pay attention to me, Severus, continue as you were – although a cup of tea would be appreciated, would it not, Harry?" the witch smirked. Snape glared at the elder professor but not a moment later tea appeared on the small mahogany table. McGonagall grabbed a floating cup and saucer and looked at Snape as though she was daring him to say something.

"As... I was saying," Snape continued as he turned his attention towards Harry. "The Headmaster is going to argue that your gender mix-up is due to a mistake in your birth certificate and that you were meant to be named Harriet _but_..." Snape continued, raising his hand when Harry opened her mouth to protest. "You have expressed you do not wish to take that name although it would be the most logical solution."

"It doesn't matter whether I tell them to call me Harry! I'll hear it every time someone sees my name written and... and..." How could she explain it? How could she explain hearing Petunia's shrill voice every time that name was applied to her.

"No one will make you take that name if you do not wish to," McGonagall promised.

"It was suggested that you might consider taking it as a middle name," Snape said and ignored McGonagall. "That way you might avoid such a problem."

Harry paused to consider this. Would that really be okay? She would still technically be named it but people would see something else first if they saw her full name.

"So I... Would have another first name?" she inquired. A first name that would technically be like a middle name too since she was still Harry as far as _she_ was concerned.

"That is the general idea," Snape replied shortly.

"I'll... think about it."

"As for your surname, I believe you voiced some concerns there?" Snape continued.

"Now, Harry, there's nothing wrong with having James' surname. I don't want you to feel you need to do anything. I know he viewed you as his and..." McGonagall began.

Harry huffed. "Well, I'm not! And you told me yourself what he did to mum!" she said crossing her arms.

"I understand. I just think you should give it some thought before you make a decision," replied McGonagall and glared at a smirking Snape.

"You cannot have the same amount of freedom with your surname," added Snape. "Some are protected by law and furthermore it would be difficult to explain you taking a name with no connection to you."

"So I'm stuck with this, is that it?" Harry replied.

"Have you considered your mother's name? Have you considered Evans?" inquired Snape and McGonagall's teacup clinked.

"I don't know. I guess not," mumbled Harry. She really hadn't considered that. If she was honest she was still a bit upset with her mother about the whole thing but she had to admit that her mother was probably the person involved in this she had the least bones to pick with. Would it be so weird then to be an Evans? Harry didn't know. It was all a bit much. Then she realized something.

"Uhm, professor?" she said, looking at Snape. "What day of the week is it? How long until Sunday? I kind of lost track of the days."

"It's Thursday, Harry," replied McGonagall on Snape's behalf.

"I will leave the papers here for you. You may fill them out when you have made a decision. Now, Professor McGonagall and I have some things to discuss and I believe it might do you well to go to bed early tonight," Snape said with a commanding air and looked at Harry.

"But it can't be more than eight o'clock!" Harry protested, momentarily forgetting that McGonagall was present.

"It is half past eight. _Go to bed,_ " Snape commanded in a low voice.

Annoyed and more than a little embarrassed to be sent to bed early in front of McGonagall but not wanting to risk getting into a fight with Snape in front of her either, Harry got up and made her way into the hallway, hastily wishing McGonagall a good night as she passed her. The last thing she heard before the door closed behind her was McGonagall's voice:

"Well, I'm surprised, Severus."

 **TBC**


	24. Schadenfreude

**AN: I own and make nothing.**

* * *

 _"It's alright, baby. Everything is going to be fine. I'm right here," sobbed the woman through the grey clouds. "Everything will be over soon." Harry knew the words were meant to be reassuring but the sound of her own screaming and crying just grew louder as the woman's trembling voice whispered above her. The grey mist whirled around her in patterns that were so nauseating that Harry wasn't sure whether the clouds were there or her vision was somehow blurred into a grey mess. Her screaming eventually transformed into muffled voices that seemed to originate from everywhere and nowhere in particular at the same time. "Come on! I know you can do it, son! Say daddy!" a man's voice said with strained joy. "No, Padfoot, I swear he did it last night! Really! Oh, shut up!" She heard laughter which cut through everything else. At first it was joyous then it seemed to change into mockery. But was it even laughter anymore? No, someone was crying. Harry wanted to reach out for them but she couldn't see through the clouds. The sound of glass shattering in the distance reached her ears. "Never! Why can't you understand! Why can't you believe? I'm not asking you to trust – I'm asking you to hope!" cried a woman. Something was whistling in the background. "Hello, Harry. How you have grown! You'll be taller than Sirius! James, tell your boyfriend to stop that, will you? Ow! Peter, back me up here! I'm sorry, Harry, you'll grow up with the world's most infantile dad! I'm kidding, James!" The whistling was getting unbearably loud. Why wasn't it stopping? "Stand aside." She was cold, oh so cold. The whistling was burrowing into her ears. It wasn't whistling. The clouds flashed green as a wand penetrated them. It was screaming. Someone was screaming, but who? "Avada..."_

When Harry woke up, she found herself in the complete darkness of her room.

* * *

Harry was standing in front of the wardrobe staring at the contents and shivering slightly from the coldness of the room. Not five minutes ago she had been woken up by Snape knocking on her door and announcing that breakfast would be served in 20 minutes. It had been a rough night. Harry remembered waking up at odd hours but she couldn't really remember why. She was tired and cold. She was wearing her new white pajamas that had been in the mountain of clothes but she really wished she had thought to wear socks to bed. The dungeon floor was almost icy.

Choices. She had been begging for them. They were already beginning to annoy her. Not only did she have the whole issue of picking her _name_ hanging over her head – Harry now found she had a much greater crisis to overcome. What on earth was she going to wear?  
Most of the things in her wardrobe were black, grey or white but there were still several shirts in somewhat bright colors. She was running out of time. She still needed to shower and she was pretty sure showing up a second later than Snape requested would be starting the day on the wrong foot. In the end Harry closed her eyes, sighed and reached out and grabbed something, pulling it off the shelf along with anything lying on top. It was a pair of dark jeans. Harry repeated the procedure and ended up with a dark blue T-shirt with something in Latin written on it in fancy white letters. She had picked this one herself at the store. She had no idea what it meant but she liked the look of it. _Audentes Fortuna Iuvat._ She picked a pair of socks and some underwear before shoving the pile of clothes that had fallen out back into the wardrobe. She had to hurry.

Harry took the quickest shower in the history of showers and got dressed equally as quickly before she entered the kitchen. Snape was sitting at the table, hidden behind a copy of the Daily Prophet. She didn't know whether she should just sit down or announce her presence but in the end settled on quietly saying: "Good morning, professor."

"Sit down. Eat," said Snape from somewhere behind the paper. Harry briefly wondered whether she was still in trouble for yesterday when she reminded herself that this was Snape and what was she expecting? Politeness? She sat down at the table which was already set and took two pieces of toast and a banana. She had begun putting raspberry jam on one piece of toast as quietly as she could when Snape suddenly folded the paper, slammed in into the table top and sighed which caused her to jump slightly. It took Harry a moment to notice that Snape wasn't wearing his usual teaching robes today. Instead he was just wearing his frock coat and the robe was draped over the back of the chair he was sitting on.

"I have received a letter from the Headmaster," said Snape gravely.

Harry didn't reply. She had nothing to say to that. It could mean anything. She held her breath and waited. Snape must have sensed her uncertainty because he continued:

"He is of course still requesting to see you but that is not something we need to worry about as of yet. He has informed me that he will be informing the remaining Heads of Houses of the situation later today."

"Is he going to tell them everything?" inquired Harry.

"I do not know. I will be meeting with him beforehand to hear his plans. This means you will remain here unsupervised. Can I trust you to behave on your own and entertain yourself? Otherwise we might easily find you some task to complete."

"No! No, I'm just going to read," replied Harry, eager to have some time to herself.

"Something sensible and educational I gather?" said Snape with more than a little sarcasm.

"I'm not making any promises," mumbled Harry into her toast which earned her a glare.

"Before I forget, professor McGonagall invited herself to tea this afternoon," said Snape with absolutely no enthusiasm as he pushed the vial of nutrient potion closer to Harry's plate.

* * *

Harry tossed the book down into the other end of the bed. She was bored. Unbelievably bored. She'd read one of her borrowed Quidditch books already although not thoroughly. She opened the second one and skimmed the first page. It was nice being alone but she was still pretty much trapped in the dungeon. The books were exciting enough but she could bare to keep reading before they only made her long for her broom and the skies. Last year she had felt so free at Hogwarts. Sure, there were rules and classes to attend but in comparison with Privet Drive she could do nearly whatever she pleased. At first it was scary and it had taken her quite a while to relax into it but by the end of the year she had found friends and had indeed begun to think of Hogwarts as her home. This was so much different. Now she didn't know how to feel. It was still better than the alternative but Harry despised cages in whatever form they came. She wondered where Hedwig was. Was she flying free or was she still waiting for her in Surrey? She found she missed the owl tremendously. In the few weeks she had been back from school, Hedwig had been her only conversation partner and although the owl could not speak Harry felt less alone with her there.

Hedwig. Harry had named her after someone she read about. Perhaps the same would do for her? She looked down at the book in her hands. _A life among the clouds: The life and career of Barbarella Locksley – the seeker of her age._ No way. Harry sighed. She might as well start looking. There was nothing else to do. What names did she know? She'd read about Kitty Miller. Kitty was short for Catherine was is not? It wasn't bad but that wasn't it either. Should she chose something very girly or something neutral like Alex or Robin? Were there even names that were muggle and names that were magical? If Harry had to be honest she had never heard of anyone named Draco or Minerva before attending Hogwarts. She didn't need to limit herself. She had all the names in the world to choose from and... and that was the problem. How was she ever going to choose? How would she know she had chosen right?

Harry got up and sat on the floor in front of the bookcase where she had placed her school books. There were most likely plenty of names inside them but for now she just studied the authors. Most of them were wizards and thus not useful and the rest were much too old fashioned. Desperate she pulled out _Hogwarts, A History_ and flicked through it. She stopped on a random page and played a little game with herself. The first female name she saw she could take. Her eyes wandered down the page. Gertrude Hall. _You have to be kidding me._ She did this with each book but every result she got, she disliked once she had it. Harry was compiling a rather extensive list of things she did not want to be named as the pile of books on the floor grew.

"Is the chair not up to your standards?" sneered someone behind her and Harry dropped her copy of _Magical Drafts and Potions_ on the floor.

"Seriously? Do you enjoy sneaking up on people?" replied Harry as she glared back at Snape, who was standing in the doorway. Once she had spoken she realized this clearly wasn't a good idea because the professor looked very displeased. Harry couldn't really think of anything she had done to anger him so she hoped this had nothing to do with her. When Snape glared back at her she quickly added: "Sorry, sir."

"Studying, I see," Snape nodded, his demeanor improving slightly.

"Don't get your hopes up, sir," Harry smiled faintly. "I'm just, you know, looking at names and such."

"In your potions book? And what have you found?" asked Snape, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Erm," mumbled Harry and picked up her book from the floor. She took one glance at the page. "I'm going to name myself... Scurvy grass... Scurvy Grass Flitterbloom," she grinned.

"Excellent, I will send that off to the Headmaster at once," said Snape gravely and turned to leave.

"Oi, I'm not serious!" cried Harry, causing Snape to turn around.

"When are you ever?" he said in a detached manner. "Lunch in 20 minutes. _Do_ get your books off the floor."

* * *

A while later Severus sat down at the dinner table with a sigh. Lunch appeared on the table, courtesy of the house elves. It wasn't long before the girl came into the kitchen and shuffled over to the chair. He studied her carefully. He had sat across from her several times now, but he had yet to see her finish her plate more than once. If he was caught looking at her she would instantly cease eating and so he mostly pretended to ignore her during meals. He wanted to tell her to eat more but he decided against it. She was sitting across from him picking at a cheese sandwich. If this was normal for her she might not be able to eat more. Poppy had suggested that they wait and see. The potions would definitely increase her weight and the mediwitch was certain that once she had gotten used to eating three meals a day her appetite would naturally increase. He took a sip from his tea. Today _he_ had no appetite either. The girl had to be very occupied with deciding upon a name since they had been at the table for several minutes and she had yet to question him about his meeting.

Minerva said they had plenty of time but Severus was already mentally listing anyone he would trust with the girl. After yesterday he needed to. He had taken great care not to admit it directly but when he turned his head and saw the door close behind her in the bookstore he almost had a heart attack. Of course the fear turned to anger once he set after her and caught sight of her running down the street. For a moment however, he was sure he had lost her in the crowd. He couldn't completely deny how he felt but it scared him. It scared him even more how much he had been willing to reveal to her once they had returned. It was most likely just his affection for Lily influencing him – after all he barely knew the girl. True, he had seen her every day for a year and knew her to be reckless, rude and defiant on her good days but did he really _know_ her? What were her dreams, her passions? What was her favorite color? It seemed inconsequential but it was anything but because the truth was Severus needed the distance. He didn't want to know her. He couldn't afford too. It wasn't that he was afraid of liking her – he knew how to control his emotions when needed. But what if she thought he did? What if she expected something. _He_ could definitely maintain the distance between them despite the recent developments! Of course he could. But she might... misunderstand. The sooner he could find a home for her the better. It would have been better for both of them if either she or he transferred to a different school entirely. Out of sight, out of mind. But Dumbledore would never let that happen. Once he had found a place where he knew she would be well looked after he could withdraw with a clear conscience. But something she had said yesterday stuck in his mind. _You hit me._ The accusation was completely unfounded of course. But for a moment, an awful moment, he found himself evaluating his actions in panic. _I am not like him._ He couldn't be. He wouldn't be. And that was the source of another conflict entirely. He was torn between staying out of her life as much as possible and remaining there. The first was by far the most practical. Once they had found her a home she didn't need him and he didn't need her. They could continue their lives without further complication. It all depended on her and how she would feel about that. Would she appreciate it or feel abandoned by her biological father? Severus refused to abandon her. He refused to leave his child feeling alone and unwanted because he knew what that felt like.

"Professor?" said a young voice, calling him back from the depths of his worries.

"What?" he answered rather shortly as he returned his attention to the tea and pretended not to have been mentally absent.

"What did professor Dumbledore want?" she repeated rather impatiently. "If you don't mind me asking, _sir?_ "

"He intends to inform professor Flitwick and professor Sprout of the situation. He has likely already done so. It would appear he simply wanted to test the story out on them. He also informed me that should that go over well he intends to inform the rest of the staff currently at Hogwarts tomorrow. I believe it is only professor Babbling, Madam Hooch and the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher who are not present. The Headmaster believes the staff currently here can be trusted to keep the secret another two days."

Severus didn't doubt the other staff members' loyalty but he knew who the old fool had hired for defense and there was a sensationalist if ever there was one. It was inconceivable that he had lost not only to Quirrel but to Gilderoy Lockhart of all people! But no, Severus 'could not be spared where he was' and it 'would be an image problem'. It was about the tattoo on his arm, Severus knew that. People wouldn't approve of him teaching anything remotely connected to the Dark Arts. Still it was infuriating that he didn't even get the chance to prove himself. There was hardly anything he didn't know about the subject! Lockhart was a fraud as clear as day! A no good charlatan! And _he_ was still a better bet than Severus? Good thing he wouldn't arrive until the last minute. Severus didn't need the additional headache. Not really wanting to continue the conversation he rose from the table, ordered the girl to finish her plate, instructed her to study in her room and handed her the potion before leaving her by herself. He needed to take his mind of things. An hour or two in the lab might do the trick.

* * *

Harry grabbed an orange and put the potion in her pocket. She wanted to take it last because though it wasn't as bad a flavor as other potions she had been so unfortunate as to sample it caused anything she ate or drank afterwards to taste bitter. She saw no reason to remain seated now the Snape had left her so she got up and left. Harry was upset although she didn't show it. Clearly Snape was lying to her. Clearly there was something he wasn't telling her about that meeting. Otherwise why had he been so distant? So consumed by his thoughts? Well, if he didn't want to tell her she didn't care! McGonagall was coming today and she could always ask her then whether there were any new developments. _She_ wouldn't hide anything, Harry was certain. After all she had been the only one who had tried to inform Harry of why everything was happening.

She put the vial on her desk and sat on the bed, peeling the orange. She was stuck on the whole name-issue. She had spent most of the day debating the pros and cons of names such as Elizabeth, Mary, Louisa and Cinnamon. Some she hated, some she disliked only when applied to her, some she didn't really mind that much but none she loved. It was a strange idea anyway. Naming yourself. She could understand it if you did it because you already knew what you wanted and did it for you and not because you _had_ to. It was weird to have to do it because she would have none other wise. This was the sort of thing your parents did. How would she know whether something really suited her?

Harry ate a piece of orange. _Hmm... I wonder what mum would have called me. I wonder if she had a name for me._ But Lily clearly had given her no name because then all the professors wouldn't be asking her to pick one. But if she took her last name that would be a bit like Lily had given her a name, right? Aunt Petunia wasn't named that anymore and so Harry would be the only Evans left. Thinking about these things Harry finished her orange and leaned back on the bed. The restless night was making her eyelids heavy and before long she was soundly asleep.

Later that day she woke up covered in orange peels as someone knocked firmly on the door. It took a moment for Harry to register what was happening but then her eyes flew open and and she jumped out of bed.

"What on earth are you doing?" Snape's impatient voice thundered.

 _Oh, shit!_ thought Harry as her eyes fell on the vial lying innocently on her desk. Making a fast decision she grabbed it and hid it under her pillow. She would take it later and she didn't think there was any reason to upset Snape by letting him know she hadn't yet. She turned around just in time as Snape opened the door and glared at her.

"Have your ears fallen off or do you simply consider yourself above answering the door?" he sneered.

"Uhm," was all Harry could say as she tried to think of a good reply.

Snape glanced at her orange peel covered bed and Harry followed his gaze and quickly gathered them together in her hands before looking back at him.

"Were you asleep? I believe I told you to study, not lie about all day!"

"I wasn't! I was just looking at names!" she protested.

Snape initially didn't reply to that but he stepped closer to her, reached out and removed a bit of orange peel from her hair before placing it with the rest in her hands. Harry could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks as she lowered her head to hide her embarrassment.

"You cannot even be bothered to put the slightest amount of effort into your lies, can you? I am warning you. Do not lie to me," he said ominously. "Professor McGonagall has arrived. She is waiting for you in the living room."

With that he turned and left the room, his robes billowing as he went. Harry was overwhelmed by the scent of spices, fire and strange ingredients that this movement caused. Clearly he had been brewing something. He smelled like his classroom. So, McGonagall was there. That explained why Harry's head was still attached to her neck. She had expected him to chew her up the moment she realized he had seen through her. Clearly he wasn't keen on doing that with McGonagall around. Harry wondered why. After quickly washing her hands and face in the bathroom and throwing away the orange peels she made her way into the living room.

McGonagall could only stay for an hour but Harry welcomed the distraction. The professor brought a book with her. It was a lexicon of historical witches and McGonagall thought it might help her in her search for a name. Snape excused himself and did not join them for which Harry was grateful and she spent that short time discussing Quidditch with McGonagall. The rest of the day she spent in her room, going through the book – except for dinner of course which was nothing if not uneventful as Snape spent the entire meal reading a journal of some sort and Harry didn't see the point in interrupting. She went to bed that night feeling the sand falling through the hourglass as Sunday approached. The vial under her pillow was forgotten.

* * *

"Astrid?"

"No," Harry replied shaking her head. McGonagall leaned back in the armchair, clearly deep in thought. Harry was seated on the couch with the book McGonagall had brought with her in her lap.

"Astrid Yellowbolt was a really fascinating character," replied Pomfrey from the other armchair. Snape was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. Harry didn't think he enjoyed having the witches over unannounced. Pomfrey had suggested that he could leave them to themselves when he tried to postpone their visit due to his work but he had replied that there was no way he was going to leave the three of them in his home unobserved. McGonagall and Pomfrey found they had an afternoon to spare and had decided to assist Harry in her search for a name.

Harry was grateful for it even if she was getting frustrated. It was Saturday. She had until the next day to decide. Why couldn't Dumbledore postpone revealing her? Well, honestly Harry didn't really want him to because if everything was announced then she no longer had to be in hiding. Blue skies. Green trees. Fresh air. Not being in close proximity to Snape at all hours. It sounded like heaven.

"Severus, won't you sit down? I cannot concentrate with you standing there!" said McGonagall.

Snape glared at her but remained where he was.

"Have you decided upon your surname, Harry?" asked Pomfrey before the conversation between the two professors could continue further.

"I think so..." mumbled Harry. "I mean, I don't really think I have much of choice there. I don't want to keep mine and there seems to only be two choices."

"Evans then?" said Snape impatiently.

"I guess," Harry shrugged.

"Now, Harry..." began McGonagall.

"She chose, Minerva. Let it go," Snape interrupted her as he moved from the doorway and joined Harry on the couch.

"But I just think..."

"No. _She chose,_ " Snape sneered. "I do not think you have any right to influence her decision based on your own preferences."

"I could say the same about you," retorted McGonagall. "As a matter of fact..."

"Does anyone want tea?" interjected Pomfrey before things could escalate.

 _Why does it have to be such a big deal?_ Harry felt crushed. She did feel a bit bad about dropping Potter and McGonagall made it worse. She was pretty sure she hated James. Pretty sure. After all he had been the face of her imaginary perfect father her entire life and that was hard to let go of. But even if she was disgusted by him she couldn't help but feel protective of him when Snape sneered at his memory. Old habits, perhaps? Harry didn't know. She accepted a cup of tea from Pomfrey as she returned from the kitchen with a tray.

"The Evans women were named for flowers, perhaps that would be a starting point?" McGonagall said as she turned to Harry, her agitation still evident in her voice.

"I suppose, professor," mumbled Harry. This wasn't going well and Harry didn't know what to do with herself when the adults around her were disagreeing. Mostly she wanted to turn invisible so she wouldn't somehow get blamed for what ever was wrong. She had tried that too many times.

"Rose? Violet?" suggested Pomfrey, now a lot more comfortable with the subject.

Harry shook her head.

"Daisy?" grinned McGonagall and Harry grimaced in response. "Pansy?" the professor continued and smirked when to Harry's surprise Snape nearly choked on his tea.

"It's pretty weird with all the flowers," said Harry. "I've always thought so. Why would you name everyone similar things?"

"Well, it's common practice in some families. In the wizarding world it is especially normal to give children themed names in pureblood families," explained McGonagall.

"I thought it just had to be Latin, professor," replied Harry.

"Latin names can be beautiful. I have a great aunt named Apracita – I've always liked that name," added Pomfrey. "Flavia? Germana? Petronia?"

"Those are weird. Are people still named that, Madam Pomfrey?" Harry said, raising an eyebrow.

"Angelica?" said McGonagall.

"I am never referring to _her_ as angelic," huffed Snape and put his teacup down.

"So, you would be using her first name, would you now?" smirked McGonagall.

"Perhaps, we should go. We've been here almost two hours as it is," said Pomfrey.

"Indeed," agreed Snape as he glared at McGonagall.

* * *

Severus took a deep breath as the door closed behind them. _Damn, that old cat!_ He was not pleased because he knew that Minerva inviting herself two days in a row was not only about helping the girl. She was doubting his ability to handle the child and even though he would usually agree with her that he had no idea what he was doing he found it extremely hurtful when she offered him advise and questioned him because if he wasn't fit to look after a child for one lousy summer he knew what it meant. He was every bit as useless as _he_ had been. Minerva knew about his childhood. Not all of course but quite a bit. Only she and the Headmaster did. Well, he had once tried pleading with Slughorn but he never got far enough in his explanations to really reveal anything because the former Head of Slytherin simply didn't care for Severus and send him off.

He could see it in her eyes. He was sure of it. She started out being concerned about his discipline methods and Severus was glad he didn't tell her _exactly_ how he dealt with the girl or the old lioness likely would have killed him. She kept voicing her concerns about the resorting. At first she had been resigned but now she was becoming more insistent that surely if it was necessary they could ask Filius or Pomona to take her. The idea was laughable to Severus. Minerva making excuses for James Potter was the worst of all. Severus understood that she had cared a great deal for him just like Dumbledore but he was bitterly reminded of another time when Gryffindor favorites were shielded despite of their cruelty. To Severus this was no different. As far as he was concerned defending James was an insult to Lily's memory. He was relieved that the girl had chosen to take her mothers name. The thought of her running around as a Potter was nauseating.

The girl had retreated to her room while Severus showed the witches to the door. He looked into the living room for a moment. He couldn't remember the last time more than two people had been in his quarters at once. Suddenly the fire behind him flared green and Severus immediately closed the enchanted door and turned back into his office.

"Severus? May I come through, my boy?"

He didn't get the chance to allow or deny the Headmaster entrance because in the next moment he stepped through as though Severus had invited him in.

"Headmaster," Severus greeted him through clenched teeth. "To what do I owe the _pleasure_ of your company?"

"Harry is well, I trust?" said Dumbledore before transforming the remaining student desk into a comfortable armchair for himself.

"As well as can be expected."

"Before you resume your protesting my seeing her, I will have you know that is not why I am here."

"Is that so?" replied Severus, feeling more than a little uncomfortable. "Headmaster, I have never refused to see you, however, I would prefer some choice as to when I will see you. At the risk of being discourteous, why are you here?"

"Can't I simply drop in for a visit once in a while, my boy?" smiled Dumbledore.

"You could just as easily have sent for me," muttered Severus.

"I wanted to see how you were coping, Severus. I know this cannot be easy for you."

"My personal feelings are of little consequence at the moment."

"Is that so?" replied Dumbledore thoughtfully. "I would think they mattered a great deal. I will be honest with you. I've spoken to Minerva and she seems to think that you are having a difficult time dealing with this – as well you might."

 _Interfering old tabby!_ Severus looked away from the Headmaster.

"Severus, I need to know that you are not letting your feelings about James get in the way of what must be done. I am certain if you would only consider things from his perspective you might understand his actions. I do not want you imposing you own resentment for James upon her."

Severus froze. Was he seriously suggesting that? Severus would have to admit he was more than a little pleased with the girl's current dislike of James Potter and he was certainly thrilled she would not carry his name, but to suggest he had planted those feelings was beyond absurd! How dare he?

"I can assure you I have done nothing to influence her feelings on that subject. Seeing as it was Minerva who decided to tell her about what that terrible excuse for a man did, I would suggest you take it up with her," sneered the younger wizard.

"I am glad to hear it, Severus. Of course you must understand I only have her best interest in mind. It would be harmful to fan the flames, so to speak, when she is still publicly his heiress."

"Do not think for a moment I do not understand what you are doing, Headmaster! I've seen it before after all. Does it truly not matter to you what Potter did? Of course not! He must be shielded! His memory protected! Your precious Potter could do no wrong, isn't that so?" hissed Severus as he began to lose his patience.

"My boy, what would you have done? If you and Lily had been married and you found out she had not only been unfaithful to you but had given birth to James' child which you up until then had assumed to be yours? Tell me, would you have kept that child?"

Severus blinked. He had not given any thought to that and he didn't want to either. Potter was a fiend. What good was it to dwell on hypotheticals when they wouldn't excuse Potter's actions?

"I don't know," replied Severus with near honesty. _But you wouldn't, would you?_

"What would you have done to keep Lily?" continued Dumbledore.

"Everything," said Severus with far more conviction.

"And if you believed her leaving you would get her killed?" added the Headmaster solemnly. "I had thought at least one of you two had been able to leave the school rivalry behind, but clearly I was mistaken. I am sure you can imagine how James must have felt when his wife had not only been unfaithful and she was carrying the child of another but that someone was you. I believe he was acting out of desperation not only to keep his wife but also to save her life. Furthermore he must have been furious with the both of you. I imagine he didn't even consider your feelings for Lily but saw this as you attempting to ruin him. In other words it was you final victory in your, if I am honest, rather petty fights."

"My victory?" repeated Severus. He was not certain he could follow this train of thought.

"Your victory indeed. Tell me, Severus, was there anything worse you could do to him short of actually ending up with Lily or harming her?"

"If you will excuse me, Headmaster, but I have work to do and surely you do too," said Severus after a moments pause. The old man's piercing blue eyes were fixed upon him and Severus felt a prickling sensation under the old man's gaze. He was nearly getting to him by speaking to his emotions and the Headmaster knew this. It was making Severus more than uncomfortable and so he sought to end the discussion as quickly as possible. Dumbledore knew this of course. He had never needed legillimensy to know what Severus was thinking. It had always been unnerving but at times it had been useful when he couldn't express his emotions himself. Now that Severus almost considered the man an adversary, at least where the issue of the girl was concerned, it was nearly frightening.

"Quite right, Severus," said Dumbledore calming and gave Severus a knowing look. "I shall leave you to your work then. Give my best to Harry, won't you?"

Severus nodded curtly as the old man disappeared through the fireplace. When he was there he nearly succeeded in making Severus feel sympathy with James Potter and guilt for being the cause of his misery but now that he was gone the Potions Master was disgusted by the mere notion. There was more than a little schadenfreude involved. His victory? Words could not describe how good it felt that he, Severus Snape, was not the only man to have been consumed by jealousy and bitterness. To think that _he_ was the one being envied. Severus closed the door behind him and entered the living room with a faint smirk as he went in search of the girl.

 **TBC - Name reveal next chapter, pinky swear!**


	25. A lily by any other name

**AN: I own and make nothing. Sorry for the slow update! Longer chapter to make up for that! Enjoy!**

* * *

Harry was absentmindedly flipping through the pages of the history book when there was a knock on the door. She dutifully rose from her chair and went to open it. There was Snape looking... eerily pleased? Harry recognized that particular smirk well since she'd seen it more times than she could count whenever Snape believed he had successfully bullied her into the dust during class and she nervously bit her lip.

"I see you have resumed your search?" said Snape, more as an observation than a question.

"Yes, sir," Harry replied. Well, she had never really stopped. She had to send in her new name the next day and she was starting to panic. In fact her name was all she could think about.

"I will call you when it is time for dinner," nodded Snape and turned to leave.

"Sir?" she blurted out before she could stop herself.

"Yes?" replied Snape, looking over his shoulder.

"It's just... I have to send in the name tomorrow," Harry began.

"I'm glad that bit of information got through to you. I suppose expecting you to grasp such a concept in less than three days is unreasonable."

"I just meant... I mean, I have so little time and... I can't think of anything, sir. It just... Everything seems – just not right," she continued as she struggled to describe her plight.

"Is there a purpose to this or are you just wasting my time stating the obvious?" replied Snape with some agitation.

Harry sighed and looked down at her shoes. How was she going to go about this? McGonagall had refused to tell her anything about Snape's relationship with her mother on the grounds that Snape should be the one to tell her and the man himself hadn't said a word about it. In fact Harry didn't think he wanted to talk about it. Anything could happen. He could refuse to answer her or snap at her. She didn't think the chance of a proper answer was high but what other choice did she have?

"Did my mother ever... When you knew her... Did she ever talk about something, anything that I could use? Did she like any names?" inquired Harry.

Snape didn't say a word and Harry didn't dare look up at him to see his expression. After a while she heard him continue out the door and as he went he replied: "We never discussed the topic."

 _That was it?_ Harry was beginning to get nervous. She realized she was simultaneously afraid that Snape and her mother had been very close and afraid that they hadn't. The idea of Snape knowing lots about her mother and never even mentioning it once was awful – considering that Harry had been desperately searching for stories about her parents – well, her mother and stepfather. Come to think of it she reckoned Snape had been the only one to offer her any substantial knowledge about James other than him being a Chaser. The other possibility was that Harry's conception had been the result of an affair between two people who barely knew each other. And either way, Harry was an accident and had caused nothing but trouble by existing. She knew that well. She had been told all her life that she was nothing but trouble and a burden but she couldn't stand being alone with that thought. Not just now anyway. She didn't bother thinking her actions through. Taking a few hurried steps she crossed the distance between them, reached out and grabbed Snape's sleeve. He froze and looked down at her with a strange mixture of surprise and annoyance. Harry quickly let go but Snape didn't move.

"Yes?"

"Sorry, sir. I was just wondering..."

" _Yes?_ " urged Snape a bit more impatiently.

 _Well, sink or swim. Sink or swim._ She really would never consider this if she weren't out of options.

"If you had known always. I mean if someone told you when I was a baby," began Harry.

" _What?_ "

"I just mean... What would _you_ have named me... Professor?" she said, holding her breath.

Snape just looked at her with a blank expression, that Harry couldn't decipher the meaning of. She felt incredibly small and stupid when he looked at her that way and she couldn't at all tell whether this had been a good idea. Then Snape sighed and looked away from her.

"I don't know."

And with that he left the hallway to its gloom and Harry to her thoughts.

* * *

Severus Snape strode through the hallways – the scent of bat spleens still lingering on his hands. He had tried to distract himself and get back to work but the girl's question had made him uneasy and he couldn't stop thinking about it. He had left his solitude before it would drive him insane. He hadn't told the girl but he didn't think she would dare go looking for him after asking him that. Right now there was only one place he could go. Hopefully he would be let in. As he reached the door he knocked firmly and waited until the door swung open seemingly by itself and then he stepped into the office, finding Minerva behind her desk.

"Severus? Did you lose your way?" she inquired sternly as she looked up from her paperwork.

Severus closed the door behind him and stepped closer.

"Minerva," he nodded. "I trust I'm interrupting so I shall make it brief."

Minerva put away her quill and stared at him over the rim of her glasses.

"I will be behind no matter what I do. I can spare a few minutes. Though, I must admit I am surprised to see you here."

"Minerva, I... About what I said..." Severus struggled to find the words.

"I was only worried, Severus. About you both. I understand why you might misunderstand that. I only wanted to help."

Severus nodded in reply.

"I think you should say what you came here to say."

Severus tightened his lips. As far as he was concerned the fault was not all his – even if most of it was.

"I need your help," he admitted reluctantly. "I don't know how to handle this."

"Then I'm going to ask you again what I asked you Thursday night. Do you want to be a part of her life?"

He flinched. He could feel the same agitation rising that had caused him to snap at her in the first place. He knew it wasn't really directed at her or her nosiness but rather the entire question upset him.

"I can't."

"I'm not asking you whether or not you can, Severus! I am asking you whether you want to!"

"I don't know," he replied gesturing his hands in defeat.

"That's not good enough, Severus. Filius could protect her. I know he could. And in Ravenclaw she wouldn't be as cut off from her friends. But Severus..." she said holding up her hand to silence him as he opened his mouth to object. "I would understand, I would agree if I believed she was getting something in return."

"What do you mean?" sneered Severus and walked to the window. He was trying to be civil, he really was but there were few things he hated more than discussing his _feelings._ In fact only the Headmaster usually got away with raising the topic and that was only because Severus knew he hadn't a fair chance of ever besting him in a duel.

"I mean, Severus, that if you wanted her in Slytherin to be close to her, I could understand that. I would support that."

"She doesn't need me. It's too dangerous."

"But you would if you could?"

He stared out at the grounds.

"Yes. For Lily. It was her wish that I..."

"Severus!" interjected Minerva.

He lowered his gaze causing his black hair to hide his face from the other professor. Would he have had the girl with Lily? Together? Absolutely. He would have gone on the run with them if it meant protecting them. But Lily was gone. If he had been given the baby back then what would he have done? He was pretty certain that child would have been his sole reason for existing had he been given her when he was heart broken after Lily's death. Now? He didn't know her. He needed to keep her safe – even though that meant never claiming her. But who did he truly trust with her? Yes, he knew Minerva and Filius both were more than capable of fending off anyone that might attack her as well as anyone could but the problem with this particular girl was that not only did many people want her dead – she also went out of her way to get into trouble. He had seen just how well Minerva had dealt with that. And Filius? He likely wouldn't be much different. In fact, Severus couldn't really trust her to stay out of danger unless he was personally involved.

"I need to protect her," he said slowly.

Behind him Minerva carefully examined him. Then she smiled faintly. As he once again turned around to face her she nodded slowly.

"And I believe you are to best man for it," she agreed. "But listen to me – just because you cannot claim her doesn't mean you cannot be there."

"She wouldn't want me to be."

"Have you asked her?"

He narrowed his eyes. He had not. But he hadn't wanted to hear the answer – regardless of what it would be. It was better to change the subject.

"The Headmaster came to see me."

"I am not surprised."

"Then you can imagine what he wanted, I suppose?" asked Severus.

"James, I presume."

"He called her my victory over James," Severus continued thoughtfully.

"Victory? That's an interesting viewpoint certainly but Severus, I need to know you don't believe this. Or at least that you don't dwell on it. If you ever take her I want to know it is not to spite James."

"I will protect her for Lily... and for her own sake."

"Well, then..." said Minerva as she rose from her desk and made her way towards him. She fixed him with a stern look and held out her hand. "Peace then? We are together in this?"

Severus shook her hand and nodded shortly. He wished Minerva a good evening and left. As he walked back to his quarters many questions were floating around in his mind. Perhaps Minerva was right. Perhaps he contribute something to the girl's life after all. So long as it was a secret.

* * *

The sound of her feet repeatedly hitting the dungeon walls resonated in Harry's room. She was lying on her back on top of her bed. She was lying across the bed with her feet placed up on the wall as she lightly kicked the wall again and again out of nothing but sheer boredom. Tomorrow it would be over. Tomorrow she could leave the dungeon. But she needed a name and her mind was empty. Suddenly there was a knock on the door but this time Snape didn't wait for her to open and instead simply strode inside.

"Did no one ever tell you not to wear shoes in bed?" he huffed upon seeing her.

Harry rolled into a sitting position and got off the bed muttering something which someone might interpret as 'Sorry, sir'. That was beginning to be her go-to phrase when near Snape since it seemed to be the correct answer to most of his inquiries.

"Dinner is ready. Follow me," Snape instructed before leaving the room with Harry trailing behind him. She was beginning to feel more and more like a pet of some sort – seeing as she only left her room for meals or when McGonagall was visiting.

"Professor?" she said as she suddenly remembered something he had mentioned before. "You said the Headmaster would tell the staff about me today?"

"Yes, I believe he will make the announcement at dinner," Snape replied as he took a seat at the table. The food suddenly appeared out of nowhere and Snape poured a glass of water and completely ignored the eager expression on Harry's face.

"So... I can go out then?" she asked.

"No."

Snape didn't even look at her. Harry was getting annoyed.

"Why?"

Snape took a sip of water and placed some leek tart on his plate.

"Why, _sir?_ " she tried.

"I would think that would be obvious to you? I cannot enter the world until your identity has been sorted," Snape replied in a bored tone of voice.

"But I can't think of anything!" She said, raising her voice slightly in desperation.

"And why am I not surprised?" huffed Snape. "What would they call you? The Headmaster will inform them that you will be presented when you're ready but until your story has been sorted and you are comfortable with it we cannot let them interrogate you – which I have no doubt some will."

"But you only gave me until tomorrow!" Harry protested, ignoring the piece of tart that Snape placed on her plate.

"Lower your voice! Tell me, would you rather hide away here until September then?"

Harry closed her mouth. No she wouldn't. But that didn't make it any less fair.

"Fine," she muttered. "You're no help at all."

"Enough! Eat your dinner!" the professor sneered as he gave her a look that was clearly meant to end the conversation.

They finished dinner in near total silence except for once when Snape asked her to pass the salt, but Harry didn't notice. She was too busy steaming inside. She wanted to go outside. She wanted to see Hagrid. She wanted to find Hedwig. She wanted to write to Ron and Hermione. She knew the house elf had been stealing her mail, but none of the adults had believed her and so she longed to know what they had written. She was lost in her own thoughts until Snape placed the vial in front of her. She hurriedly drank it before she quickly rose from the table and turned to leave.

"It's polite to ask for permission to leave the table," Snape suddenly spoke behind her.

Harry froze. "What?" she replied slowly turning around, sure that she had misheard.

"You heard me," Snape answered without looking up at her.

"You never said that before," Harry stated, trying very hard to keep her cool. She was already annoyed with Snape for not letting her out and being otherwise totally unfair.

"I did not but I am informing you now. You might do well to remember that for the future."

"But..." she protested.

"Regardless of what you might think I do not have the time nor stamina to inform you of every single rule of etiquette you are known to break in one lecture."

" _You_ never have to ask anyone's permission!" said Harry, crossing her arms.

Snape looked up at her with a mixture of boredom and condescend. "This in my table in my rooms. If I were to dine at another's house I too would be respectful."

"How? ' _Your cabbage stew is overcooked, you idiot! Can't you read instructions?_ ' or ' _Did it not plainly say two teaspoons of salt? Can you actually not read or does being an arrogant dimwit just run in your family?_ '" Harry snapped mimicking the Potions Master to the best of her ability.

Snape stared at her. It actually pleased Harry that he did not have a snarky comment to throw back at her. For a moment he looked like he was about to fly out of his chair and start yelling but he then seemed to reconsider. "Go to you room," he finally said, giving her a pointed look before returning his gaze to the table. The sternness of his voice and the look in his eyes were clearly meant as a warning to Harry that she had better retreat and come back when she felt sorry but it only fueled her anger. She was sick of it. Sick of being locked up. Sick of worrying. Sick of being told what to do constantly. She remained where she was, a part of her just wanting to get a rise out of Snape.

"I have had it with your attitude. Go to your room. We will discuss this once you've adjusted your behavior. Do not make me repeat myself," he sneered as he realized Harry wasn't moving. "This is your final warning."

She huffed the word 'whatever' and flew out into the hallways, slamming the door behind her.

Harry made it into her bedroom and threw herself on the bed before she realized that there were footsteps following her. Her face was buried in her pillow and even though she knew Snape was there she still jumped slightly when he spoke:

"You have exactly five seconds to apologize, young lady! I will _not_ be spoken to in that manner and I will _not_ allow you to throw tantrums and slam doors! Just what has gotten into you?"

If Harry had had a little more time to consider her position she might have been able to think more rationally and attempt to better the situation. However, she did not. She just couldn't stand listening to him right then. She raised her head, grabbed the pillow and flung it in the direction she assumed Snape to be standing. She missed by about a foot and locked eyes with a furious Snape as the sound of glass breaking reached her ears. She didn't look down. It took her a second to realize but she knew what it was. Snape had momentarily shifted his gaze from her to the broken vial. For a moment he looked shocked, but then that expression was replaced with fury, the likes of which Harry had only seen once before. Her eyes widened as she realized just what sort of a mess she had gotten herself into. Annoying Snape for the fun of it didn't seem like such a good idea now. In fact she had merely been taking her frustrations over her situations out on him. Then he was advancing on her and Harry jumped off the bed with her heart in her throat – ready to make a run for it. She didn't get that far because just then Snape's hands clamped down on her shoulders and prevented her escape.

Harry looked up. She tried to think of something to say – anything, but her mind was empty. Snape's jaw was trembling slightly and to Harry it looked like he was fighting the urge to literally chew her head off.

" _How many?_ " Snape's low voice sent chills down Harry's spine. She just stood there with an open mouth, not really understanding the question but petrified by the tone of voice. "How many potions did you skip? _Answer me!_ " Snape then proceeded to shake her once – if a bit roughly. That effectively brought Harry out of her trance.

"Just one!" she gasped.

"I'm warning you! I'll tear this room apart to find them if I must!" the professor hissed.

"No! It was just this one! I swear!" Harry's eyes began to water as she became desperate. She was about to explain when Snape spoke again.

"You swear? And do you think you have given me any reason to believe you can be trusted? Do you?"

"I'm sorry!" cried Harry.

"You're sorry? Well, if you aren't now, you certainly will be! I have half a mind to..."

Harry flinched. She recognized this kind of fury only too well. At the Dursleys it had meant a few days locked in her cupboard or getting beaten up by Dudley. With Snape it meant... Her thoughts went back to Thursday night and what had happened then. She didn't ever want to make Snape _that_ angry with her.

"Please, don't hit me," she heard a small voice that she barely recognized as her own say. Her eyes found her shoes before the entire sentence was out of her mouth. Snape was silent. That didn't bode well. Harry closed her eyes and waited. His hands didn't loosen their grip, still somehow Harry found that oddly comforting.

The silence probably didn't last for more than a minute but to Harry it seemed like years had dragged by and in the end willed herself to tryingly take a step backwards in an attempt to pull herself away from Snape and storm she was certain was coming. As she did so, Snape's grip momentarily tightened and prevented Harry from moving away. Then he let go of her entirely and then Harry felt his hand slowly raising her chin. Harry's first instinct was to close her eyes but knowing that it wasn't a permanent solution she willed herself to open her eyes and look at Snape. His face was a mask without a hint of emotion. The fury was gone yet this only unnerved Harry even more as she knew it was bound to be just beneath the surface.

"Listen to me," Snape said sternly. "I never hit you and I never will. Yes, I punished you but I did not harm you – nor did I ever attempt to harm you. Can you understand that? _Look at me!_ I said: Can you understand that?"

"Yes, sir," Harry offered even though in her mind she was saying 'No'.

"I mean it. I will never harm you. You have nothing to fear from me," Snape continued, clearly not buying it.

"Okay," whimpered Harry as she tried to look away as much as Snape would let her. When that didn't work she was forced to look back up at him and consider the words. What did he mean he wouldn't hurt her? He smacked her! That _hurt!_ Alright, maybe not as much as other things she'd experienced but still! Now that she thought about it, it paled considerably to Dudley's treatment. He wouldn't have held back. He did it because he hated her. With Snape she wasn't sure whether he did it for the same reason. Or whether he told the truth about his motivations. Then Harry realized that it couldn't possibly be hate. Compared to Dudley he barely even touched her when he could have easily beaten her bloody.

"Do you understand me?" Snape repeated as he clearly noticed Harry's contemplation.

"Yes, sir," she replied with passable conviction. "But... I mean... You won't...?"

"I won't," Snape assured her. "Unless you give me any cause to. Now I will ask you one more time and you will answer me truthfully: How many potions did you skip?"

"Just the one," Harry assured him. "I swear! It was an accident!"

Snape paused for a moment. "Good," he replied as he studied her face. "But if I discover you have been lying to me you will be sorry indeed."

She sighed with relief. He wouldn't find another vial anywhere. It actually gave her a sense of security that Snape was willing to believe her without conducting a search. She had been certain he was going to. Then Snape let go of her completely. He took a step backwards to give them both some space and narrowed his eyes.

"And why did you not take it?"

"I just forgot," mumbled Harry.

"And you didn't think to tell me? Instead you decided to stuff your mattress with potions?"

"I thought you'd be mad at me," she replied. She could feel her cheeks flush with embarrassment at the words. She sounded so childish.

"I might find your forgetfulness annoying but I would be nowhere near as angry as I am now. In the future you would do better to come to me strait away."

"Yes, sir," said Harry meekly. She hoped Snape didn't remember that he had been furious even before he found out about the vial.

"And do not think I have forgotten your behavior earlier."

"I'm sorry about that too," Harry shrugged.

"Do you have any explanation or shall I just put it down to you being a brat?" huffed Snape.

"I was just... upset and bored. I just want to go out."

Snape picked up her pillow from the floor and threw it back unto the bed. He then drew his wand a vanish the broken glass and spilled potion.

"That is no excuse," the man snapped as he tidied the place. "It stops now do you hear me? Neither of us are responsible for the situation and all we must do is bear it as best as possible. Now, come with me."

"Where?" said Harry as quickly tried her eyes when Snape wasn't looking directly at her.

"It seems you cannot remember to take that potion on your own. As a result you will not leave my side during the day - until tomorrow night ."

"But..." she protested. "I'm not taking potions _all_ the time! And I took all the others! You _saw_ me do it!"

"You may consider this a punishment for your behavior as well. Now, come along and bring your assignments. You will occupy yourself with something productive while I work."

* * *

An hour later Harry was sitting in Snape's office, trying very hard to look like she was working when in reality her thoughts were consumed by what had happened that day. Snape had simply placed her at the desk and instructed her to start on her homework and then sat down at his own desk. Harry had wanted to protest Snape's decision about keeping her in sight but she hadn't been able to come up with something she didn't think would make him angrier. At the time when she thought she had come with a really good argument they had been silent for twenty minutes and she realized the ridiculousness of blurting it out then.

Snape didn't look at her. Not even once. Harry thought that was odd seeing as he had brought her there to presumably keep an eye on her. She sighed. Ceasing her pretend-scribbling she chewed the end of her quill. Snape didn't react. What was he working on anyway? Wasn't he supposed to brew yucky potions all day anyway? It was quite obvious that he wasn't correcting anything because Harry could clearly see from her position that the ink was black. She looked back down at her Transfiguration essay. Who needed to know how to turn a beetle into a spoon anyway? Transfigurations were fun and all but Harry thought it was a bit silly. Of course she loved having McGonagall as a teacher and she loved seeing the disasters that always happened in that class but really she couldn't imagine herself ever needing most of those spells. The room was silent - the sound of Snape's quill against the parchment gone. She instantly glanced up and locked eyes with the man who was sitting there watching her. He looked deep in thought but much too serene for Harry's liking. Eager to stay out of trouble for the moment at least she continued her scribbling.

 _... and the black beetles turn into silver spoons. When using smaller beetles it is important to remember..._ Harry glanced at the page in her book. _That this will not only affect the size of the spoon but in some cases it will also effect the duration of the spell because..._ She was interrupted in her subpar essay writing when a folded piece of parchment landed in front of her. Harry stared at it for a second and then looked up to find Snape standing at her side. How did he do that? How did he move so quietly?

"What's that?" she inquired. "Professor?"

"That... Is the answer to your question," Snape replied, giving a short nod as if he had just given a detailed explanation. Then he returned to his desk and continued to ignore her. Harry was puzzled. What question? She looked at the parchment but it offered little explanation in its current position so she reached out for it and unfolded it. She froze. Was this? Really?

"Sir? Is that...?" she near whispered.

"Not entirely," Snape replied nonchalantly. "The middle name would have been different. Surname probably too. But this would be my suggestion, taking everything into account."

"Oh," was all Harry could say as she looked at it. This wasn't at all what she would have expected from Snape. Yes, it was Latin but this was so... so... normal? That wasn't the right word. She wanted to ask a thousand questions especially because as she looked down at the name she didn't hate it. In fact she liked it. But she wasn't about to admit that to him. She carefully folded the paper and snuck it inside her Transfigurations book, hoping that Snape didn't see her doing so.

"Time for dinner, I believe," said Snape from the other end of the room. "You have five minutes to wash your hands and meet me at the table. Go."

* * *

Harry's ears were ringing still. After dinner Snape had begun a rather long lecture about the importance of the nutrient potions and insisted that she drink it all right in front of him. He was glaring at her the entire time as if he suspected her of somehow vanishing the contents with the power of thought rather that taking it. Harry thought he was being absolutely ridiculous and unreasonable of course since she had _hardly_ complained about them anyway and had taking all but one.

She was sitting on the couch in the living room, pretending to read _Hogwarts, A History_ , while Snape sat in the armchair across from her with a book of his own. As part of the whole 'not leaving Snape's sight' business she had not been allowed to return to her room after dinner even though, in Harry's opinion, she asked nicely. The piece of parchment was lying between the pages of her book and she read it over and over. Snape's spiky handwriting was unmistakable. Nothing else was written on the parchment just the name. Snape had added Harriet as a middle name and honestly Harry wasn't surprised. She didn't like it but then again it seemed most people didn't like their middle names anyway. Her eyes fell on the first name once again. She couldn't deny the warm feeling it was giving her. This name was chosen for _her_ and that felt rather good. Furthermore, it was a suggestion, a gift. She could take it or leave it. When Pomfrey and McGonagall had suggested names they had simply been listing names for her to chose from. They didn't pick them _for her_ specifically. Harry wanted to ask him why. Why this one? She liked this name. When she said it to herself it sounded like her. Why hadn't _she_ thought of this one? Was there any particular reason for Snape to chose this one or was it simply what he would have named his child in general?

"You can stop the charade and hand over what you're hiding right this minute!" Snape sneered right above her. Harry nearly threw the book in the air with surprise.

"Uhm," said Harry as she searched for something to say. Snape's scowl deepened and he bent down and snatched the sheet of parchment from her book. However as soon as he saw what it was his expression softened as Harry's cheeks turned redder.

"So..." he said in a tone which made Harry unsure of whether he was talking to her or himself.

"I'm sorry, sir. I'll read the book now," Harry mumbled and reached for the paper but Snape held out of her reach.

"I suggest... You don't let this distract you any further. Unless you want this on the form I don't see any reason to bring this along," Snape said and he moved to dispose of it in the fire.

"Yes," Harry said surprising herself as she jumped off the couch and stepped between Snape and the fireplace.

"Pardon me?" said the man as he looked down at her.

"I mean... I want that on the form... I think... please..."

Snape looked at her with disbelief. "Are you certain? This is an important decision and although I would be thrilled to leave this issue behind us, I will not have you complaining about making the wrong decision a month from now. I know you. You rush headfirst into things without giving it a second thought. This is a serious matter. Are you absolutely certain?"

But Harry didn't agree that everything should be discussed and thought about for ages. In her view, sometimes you just had to go with what _feels_ right.

"Yes," she replied. "I'm sure."

* * *

Severus raised an eyebrow at her determination. He then picked up the form which was still lying on the small round table and glanced at it before he conjured a quill. He moved to write in the surname just to see whether that would get a reaction from the girl. But as he wrote in the name 'Evans' she didn't even flinch although she had no way of knowing what he was writing. Severus was both surprised and slightly uncomfortable with the amount of trust she was showing. But clearly it had to be a good sign. He moved the quill further to the left to write in the middle name and still the girl didn't move. He wrote in Harriet as quickly as he could. From his point of view that was a necessity decision as well. Then he moved to the first name and _now_ the girl moved. She walked over next to him and Severus immediately put the quill aside. He knew she would reconsider.

"Can I watch?"

The words were unexpected. She seemed almost... _excited?_

"I suppose you may," Severus replied although he really thought she should have asked to take over the quill. Then he picked up the quill and with one last glance at the girl he wrote in the first name. He then picked up the form and handed it to her. She stared at it for a few seconds as though she'd never seen parchment before and Severus huffed. Really it was only a piece of paper. _But not really._ Severus was very surprised indeed. She had been searching for days. Minerva and Poppy had probably suggested a hundred names. Why did she go with _his_ suggestion? Severus didn't think himself particularly good with these things. While he himself thought he had good taste the general public never seemed to agree with him so it was very unexpected that any suggestion of his would be met with anything other than disgust. It seemed it was his victory after all.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Didn't you just?" Severus replied dryly as the form was handed back to him.

"What would _you_ have chosen... for my middle name, I mean... If, you know?"

That was one question Severus hadn't needed to give much thought, while the first name had distracted him from his work for hours. It was also a name he couldn't have suggested since it would require some form of explanation and send the wrong message to _some_ people. With the name _Eileen_ hidden behind the shields of his minds he simply replied:

"Do not concern yourself with such things. Now, it's half past eight and I think it is time you were in bed."

"What? But I'm not even tired and it's early and I _just_ chose my name. Can't I celebrate that a little?"

"Have you already forgotten that you're being punished? Now, be off. I want you in bed in fifteen minutes!"

"But Snape..."

" _Bed. Now. Go._ "

The girl glared at him and disappeared into the hallway. Severus sighed and looked down at the form. It was silly really. Not a big deal. Then why did it feel so important to him? What did it matter to him? There alone in his living room he allowed himself the faintest smile. He folded the form and tapped the document lightly with his wand.

" _Angelum Ascendentem._ "

The form flew up and towards the secret door. Severus followed it inside the office and threw a pinch of floo powder in the fire place, allowing it to go to the Headmaster's office. It wasn't the most beautiful magic and certainly not on par with Dumbledore's but it was enough.

Fifteen minutes later Severus knocked on the girl's door and opened it when he heard a distinct 'come in'. He was unsurprised to find the girl not _in_ her bed but _on_ her bed. She had changed to pajamas but she was holding a book in her hands.

"Into bed. Now. Honestly I'm not surprised to find you cannot even follow such simple instructions," Severus scolded her.

"Fine," muttered the girl as she crawled into bed a pulled the covers up around herself. "Goodnight then, professor," she said rather shortly.

"Goodnight, Miss Evans," replied Severus, addressing her by name for the first time since the discovery. He then immediately turned off the light, only allowing himself to see a glimpse of her surprised face. It was strange to him as well. Stranger than he thought it would be. Whenever he had heard that name before it had been applied to Lily. Before he could give it any further thought he stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him, separating himself from the girl. He stared into the semi-darkness of the hallway, pondering the absurdity of the universe. Then as he made to leave the hallway for the living room he turned towards her door one last time.

"Goodnight, Victoria," he whispered into the darkness.

 **TBC**


	26. Watching and learning

**AN: I own and make nothing.**

* * *

Harry walked into the kitchen the following morning, having showered as fast as she could to have more time to choose her clothes. She didn't have any occasions to dress for but she still found having a choice overwhelming and so needed to take her time. She was not feeling adventurous enough so she ultimately went for jeans and a plain dark red T-shirt. This morning she found the kitchen empty. Not only was Snape not there but the table wasn't set the way it had been every other day. Confused, Harry didn't know what to do so she walked into the living room to look for Snape.

"Professor?" she called, but there was no reply.

This had been a great morning up until now. Although Harry had barely been able to sleep last night due to the sheer excitement of having finally chosen a name she eventually dropped off and had a quiet night. She had been woken up by the bat knocking on her door and commanding her to be ready in twenty minutes as he had done previously but now there was no sign of him. Could he be in the lab? Harry was just about to go a check when she remembered that Snape would probably kill her if she did. Fortunately she didn't have wait long before Snape stepped through the door leading to his office.

"I see you're ready. Come with me. We will be having breakfast in the Great Hall," he sneered as he took notice of her.

"Huh?" They would be doing _what_ and _where?_ Hadn't Snape said yesterday that she couldn't go outside? _Or wait... Was that only until I had a name?_ Still, her face fell. He would take her to the Great Hall and meet all the staff at once? _They are going to stare at me._ She had always hated the stares. She never asked to be famous or a freak but people stared at her anyway and whispered behind her back. How would the teachers react to seeing her now? Suddenly Snape's words about 'interrogation' from the previous night made sense to her. They were not only going to stare, they were going to ask her questions as well. If she had been weird to people before, what would she be now? She had wanted to go out but she hadn't planned on seeing anyone other Hagrid or her friends, who were coincidentally the most accepting people she knew. Now, she could feel her stomach turning at the prospect of being introduced to the entire staff.

"I do not have the time to stand here and explain to you what the definition of breakfast is. Hurry up," Snape continued, glaring at her.

 _And what has gotten him so upset? I didn't even say anything!_

"Professor!" she cried a little louder than she meant to. Snape, who had been heading for the office door, stopped dead in his tracks and looked back at her. "It's just. Can I stay here?"

"I don't believe it," muttered Snape. "You pester me about going out and then refuse to go when you are told to."

"It's not the same!" Harry argued. "I just wanted to go outside alone or maybe visit Hagrid. I don't want to go to the Great Hall!"

"And why is that?" asked Snape as he crossed his arms. "Speak up! I didn't quite catch that," he continued when Harry mumbled her reply.

"Can't I just stay here? You can go without me?" she tried.

"Where I go, you will follow. It will be that way the rest of the day," Snape reminded her.

"Please stay then," she pleaded. "Please stay."

The man's expression seemed to soften ever so slightly as he looked down at her. Harry bit her lip and hoped for the best.

"Why?" Snape pressed.

"I..." she mumbled. "I don't want them to look at me."

Snape stepped towards her and was now towering over her, causing Harry to look away.

"They will need to see you at one time or another. Besides, you have been gawked at by your adoring fans for a year and I didn't see you complain then."

"I complained plenty. Just not to _you_ ," Harry muttered. Then she started as Snape cautiously placed a hand on her other arm. Instinctively she looked up at him and instantly regretted it.

" _Why_ do you not wish to go?" he pressed a bit more impatiently.

"I just... I just don't want them to look at me like I'm some kind of freak," cried Harry as she tore herself away from Snape and turned her back on him.

"I see," Snape said pensively. "Take a seat, Miss Evans." Harry turned back around in surprise to find him pointing to the couch.

Last night was the first time she had ever heard someone refer to her by that name and when Snape said it then she didn't know how to feel. She supposed it was just the oddity of having been so near Snape for so many days but it had felt a bit dismissive when he'd said it... or perhaps a bit strained? Still, Harry thought she might as well get used to it. She moved over and sat down on the couch not exactly knowing what to expect. Why couldn't he understand? Who was she kidding? This was Snape. People made fun of him all the time and he never cared at all. Well, except when you did it to his face. Snape paced a few times back and forth in front of the couch before he came to a sudden stop. Then he sat down next to her and took a deep breath.

"I can only assume you've picked up this idea about being a freak from your relatives?" he began and when Harry opened her mouth to lie as best she could about the subject, he stopped her. "Regardless of who told you this I am telling you now that you are no such thing. I realize of course that I am not the best person to have such a discussion with you but I will not have you believing such nonsense. The staff wishes to see you because they worry about you. They do not think so little of you and neither should you. I will admit your new appearance likely has them curious but they mean you no harm," said Snape, slowly making his way through the sentences as though they caused him great pain.

Harry was speechless. How was she supposed to respond to that? How could she possibly explain to Snape that he was wrong without telling him why she knew that? She _knew_ what it meant when people stared at her. She'd lived with it all her life. She was always singled out and never had that been a good thing. She was singled out at Hogwarts too, although in a different way. During the school year she had grown more confident and managed to partially overcome her fears of being found out but only because she had Ron and Hermione by her side. At the Dursleys she had lived with a different fear. Not the fear of being found out, for everyone already knew she was a freak, but she had to watch her back constantly. Maybe the teachers meant no harm but that didn't change the fact that she was a spectacle and they thought so too. Harry was certain that pity was every bit as horrible as disgust or loathing. When she remained silent, Snape continued:

"We may see if you feel better about going out at lunch time then."

She could breathe more easily. A few more hours.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"I know enough about that sorry excuse for a man they call your uncle to be disgusted and your aunt was always a horrid woman," Snape mused, seemingly out of nowhere. Harry was a little taken aback by this a first and then more than a little annoyed that she hadn't successfully steered Snape away from that topic. There was quite a bit of venom in Snape's voice and that roused her curiosity.

"How do you know? Did you know her well? Before... This summer?"

"I'm sorry to say I did."

"But..." Harry was shocked. "You never told me. You never speak about her."

"Neither do you," Snape countered and arched an eyebrow at her.

"That's different!" she replied.

"Perhaps, however, should you one day decide you wish to talk about your time with your relatives I would be very interested in hearing that story."

 _Why does it even matter?_ Harry couldn't see why she couldn't just forget she had ever been there. She had a sneaking suspicion that despite Snape and McGonagall's assurances, she would somehow end up back there and she wanted to forget about them and enjoy her Dursley-free time until then. But then she had another idea. Should could make demands too couldn't she? Snape had been in an awful mood all morning for some reason so Harry was cautious but the opportunity had to be taken.

"I'll tell you about it if..."

" _If?_ " Snape echoed.

"If you tell me about my mum and why..." She didn't have to finish that sentence. The look in Snape's eyes told her that he understood. Why were they ever together? She dared to glance at him several times while waiting for an answer.

"I shall consider it," Snape nodded. "Come now. I will order us some breakfast."

* * *

Severus momentarily left the girl in the living room to clear his desk in the office. It had been a difficult morning. He had woken up early as usual and after washing and dressing he had gone to his office to lay out the day's work before leaving for breakfast. When he arrived, several messages were already on his desk and they had likely arrived during the night. Now, as he entered the room he glared at them. Yes, his colleagues had likely gotten quite a shock when the Headmaster told them and inquired after her but had Dumbledore really needed to tell them she was with him? He knew they were worried but he also disliked impatience in others. He had read a few before leaving the rest behind. These particular letters had been from Pomona and Hagrid and while the giant's letter for some reason had been completely unreadable and water-damaged, Pomona seemed to have had a panic attack on paper and inquired about her health and safety to such a degree that Severus was pretty sure he'd been indirectly accused of everything from neglecting to feed her to locking her in a cell and he did _not_ appreciate it. The girl was fine – more or less. Didn't they trust him with protecting a child? Or could he only be trusted with the Slytherins whom they didn't care much for anyway?

Furthermore he found himself experiencing and odd sensation as he looked down at the letters. He never appreciated having his abilities doubted but now he was more than usually agitated. It was one thing for them to question the number of detentions he handed out or whether he was too harsh on Miss Moore during exams. They had no right to tell him what to do with this girl. They had no right to interfere with how he took care of _his_ daughter. He knew, of course, that they were unaware of this fact and what did it matter anyway?

Minerva's words echoed in his mind, reaching the deep corners where more darkness than any man should know was hidden away. He would see that she grew up to live a happy life but Severus was beginning to doubt whether just _knowing_ that she would be safe and sound would be enough. A part of him wanted to be there himself and see it happen. The problem was that every time he tried to imagine this he didn't know where to place himself in relation to Victoria and her new family. Furthermore he couldn't imagine her welcoming him there and so Severus convinced himself that not only was it better for everyone if he did not entertain such silly ideas but in fact he didn't want to know her either! But still...

He didn't know what to do about her fears either. He had promised to bring her along to the Great Hall but he most certainly wasn't about to drag her there – at least not when she felt that way. He knew what it was like to be looked at as though you were subhuman. As though you were nothing if not an object of ridicule and amusement to others. Her fears were not entirely unfounded. He knew no one in the staff would treat her badly – not even Filch, well, not any worse than he treated everyone else at least and if any _did_ dare to ridicule her, he wasn't sure whether Minerva, Poppy or he himself would get them first. He found himself choosing between trying to convince her that no one would tease her and trying to convince her that when they will tease she would be protected. The truth about the reaction she could expect was somewhere in between. Severus knew she would not suffer at the hands of the staff but what about the students? The rest of the wizarding world? To tell her that she was completely safe was a lie, but perhaps it was a necessary one for the time being? After all, she would have to go out at some point.

He grabbed the letters and threw them into his desk drawer. He was tempted to throw them in the fire unopened but he decided that out of respect for his colleagues he would skim them later.

* * *

Harry was fidgeting on the couch. She had eaten breakfast in silence with Snape watching her closely and she had been fairly quick about it because she was constantly fearing that he would change his mind and she wanted to be able to say that she couldn't go because she had already eaten. She even willed herself to smile as she took the potion to show him that she was grateful for staying. If Snape was affected by that, he didn't show it. She was getting impatient. Snape had simply told her told stay there and left for his office. It hadn't been more than two minutes but it felt like so much more to Harry. What was he doing? Was he going to talk to someone? No, he said he wouldn't leave without her. What then? She got up from the couch and looked about the room. It was odd. Not many hours ago she would have sworn that she hated these rooms. _Snape's_ rooms. That she hated being close to him. Now they felt safe. As much as Harry despised living with the uncomfortable truth that was personified in Severus Snape, she realized that perhaps something far more terrifying awaited her.

She walked up to the door and paused before knocking. She wasn't sure whether that could even be heard from the other side when the door was only visible part of the time. When no one answered the door, she opened it slightly – thereby causing it to appear on the other side and knocked again. This time Snape flung the door completely open, causing Harry to stumble backwards.

"Which part of 'Stay here' do you not understand?" he snarled.

"Umm," Harry replied.

Snape sighed. "I suppose you may come in now. Hurry up. We need to have a chat."

Harry most certainly didn't like the sound of that and she gulped as she made her way to the smaller desk by which she had already spent too much time for her liking. Snape sat down behind his desk and steepled his fingers pensively.

"I assume you realize that you will have to face the word at one point or another?"

Harry silently nodded but when Snape simply kept staring at her she replied: "Yes, sir."

"I meant what I said earlier. You are not a freak and nothing you have been through makes you one. I'll allow your upbringing has been not only unconventional but also unacceptable, still, this does not mean anything is decidedly wrong with _you_ \- except maybe your abysmal skills in potions class."

She smiled faintly at that comment but the smile disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.

"Do you remember the story?"

"I think so," Harry replied. She tilted her head as she tried to remember the details.

"Retell it to me," Snape demanded.

"Umm... I am James Potter's stepdaughter," Harry began. "But he knew about that and no one knows who... who..." Harry glanced at Snape unable to say the actual words with him there.

"Your father?" Snape offered impatiently. Harry didn't fail to notice that he grimaced ever so slightly as he said it.

"Yes, sir. Who he is," she nodded. "And James filled in my birth certificate wrong and so everyone thought I was a girl and my relatives couldn't contact you about it so they made me a boy so no one would think I was weird."

"Why would they do that? Isn't it a bit strange?" Snape questioned her.

Harry shrugged. "They are pretty strange people. They also hid my magic."

"That answer will have to do," Snape nodded. "You chose your mother's name – why?" The question was not only one he imagined she would get but he also wanted to hear the answer even if it was a lie and the truth was she felt she had no other choice.

"Because I wanted to..." Harry began but paused when she realized she didn't have a good answer for that one. "I guess, I wanted to... honor her? Feel more like her?"

"Either of those will do," replied Snape.

Just then the fire flared green and four letters flew through it and landed gracefully on Snape's desk. The professor sneered at the sight of them before he grabbed them and unceremoniously dumped them in a drawer.

"What's that?" inquired Harry.

"None of your concern," Snape snapped. Then his features softened again and he looked at her thoughtfully. "The staff is worried about you. I have been received letters all morning," he explained.

"Oh," she replied in surprise. Did they know she was with Snape? Did they really worry that much about her?

"They are naturally anxious to see you and have it confirmed that you are well," Snape added. "In any case, Miss Evans, both Professor McGonagall and myself will be present. You are nothing to fear."

"Okay," mumbled Harry, her eyes still fixed on the drawer. What did they say? Exactly whom were they from?

"Okay?" repeated Snape mockingly.

"I mean: Yes sir. I'll go to lunch," Harry amended.

* * *

She took a deep breath. Harry had spent the last couple on hours reading and taking notes at Snape's dinner table while the man read the paper or sorted books and she had actually managed to push the impending meeting out of her mind. Now she was standing in front of the doors to the Great Hall with Snape at her side and she could feel her stomach turning inside out as she waited for the doors to open.

"Are you ready?" inquired the professor and Harry, being lost in her thoughts, jumped at the sound of his voice.

"Yes, professor," she mumbled, biting her lip nervously.

Snape nodded and stepped closer to the doors, raising his wand. The doors flung open and the pale light from within shone through the doors, momentarily blinding Harry. Once her eyes had adjusted to the light, Snape had already entered the hall and was making his way towards the head table where several people sat in silence. Equally afraid of entering and being left behind, Harry picked up her pace and followed the man in the billowing robes. The doors closed behind her as she walked towards the table. The four house tables were completely empty and there were no decorations in the hall which made it seem bare and unfamiliar to Harry. She looked up at the table and saw Dumbledore there in the middle. She momentarily locked eyes with him but quickly shifted her gaze to McGonagall who was sitting at his side, giving Harry a faint encouraging smile.

"Severus," Dumbledore greeted the Potions Master. "We were expecting you this morning."

"Good afternoon, Miss Evans," smiled Professor Flitwick quickly before Snape could reply.

Harry mumbled something which vaguely resembled 'Good afternoon' and quickly shifted her gaze between all the professors before settling on her shoes. She was very much aware of how strange it had to be for them. _She_ wasn't used to her new face either.

"Why don't you take a seat here?" continued Flitwick a gestured to an empty chair between himself and Madam Pince.

Grateful Harry nodded and moved around the table to sit down. It was only then she realized that Both Snape and McGonagall were sitting several seats away from her with McGonagall on the other side of Dumbledore and Snape near the end of the table. Madam Pomfrey was not present. Harry sat down warily, trying to recall whether this seat was usually occupied by Madam Hooch or professor Babbling. The seat next to Professor Snape where Quirrel had sat was also empty and Harry suddenly wished she had sat there instead. An awkward silence ensued which only Snape and Dumbledore appeared to be completely unaffected by.

"May I say..." began Professor Sprout. "That you look absolutely lovely."

"Yes, I quite agree! Very lovely indeed!" added Professor Flitwick.

Harry didn't know whether it was the compliment, which was a new experience in itself, or the uncomfortable attention but she blushed scarlet at the words.

"Did you add the alterations to your lesson plans, Professor Snape?" said Professor Vector, not at all addressing the elephant in the room.

"I am busy enough as it is," growled Snape, more than a little displeased that the conversation topic was turning to him.

"Miss Evans, if you wish to make use of the library during you stay here, please inform me," said Madam Pince coldly. Harry couldn't tell whether she was simply being kind and offering her some help or whether she knew that two books had been taken without permission and was subtly accusing her. Either way Harry nodded.

"Thank you, Madam Pince," she replied as respectfully as she could to the stern librarian.

"Is it true then? Will we have a resorting?" asked professor Sinistra rather loudly.

Harry's face fell. She wouldn't say she'd forgotten about that – more like suppressed it. Snape seemed very occupied with cutting an omelet into tiny triangles and did not answer her. Dumbledore put down his glass and nodded at Sinistra.

"Harry volunteered the information that the Sorting Hat preferred her in another house. I have since then spoken to the hat and it has confirmed this to be true."

"I thought the hat wasn't permitted to repeat its conversations with the children nor recount its considerations," said professor Sinistra.

"It is allowed to speak to the Headmaster about it," explained professor Flitwick.

"But Slytherin? I always took him... _her_ to be a Gryffindor!" exclaimed professor Sprout.

"That is hardly the most surprising thing about this! Really, Pomona! Harry Potter turns out to be a girl and it's _that_ which worries you the most?" snapped McGonagall.

"Perhaps we should change the subject?" inquired Flitwick.

"But you must allow... You said yourself last year that Severus' methods were..." At this Snape didn't even move a muscle but McGonagall visibly tensed. "... and now? She will need guidance!"

"Severus is perfectly capable of handling the situation!" replied McGonagall icily.

Flitwick, who noticed that Harry had frozen and wasn't eating anything from the bowls and trays around her, leaned closer to her.

"Pay no attention to them, Miss Evans. If it wasn't this, someone would be arguing over the price of silk socks or the relevancy of Bartholomew Screech's teachings in modern society. I swear they are a rowdier bunch than you children most of the time. Now, I say you should try one of the peaches. They are especially good this season," he smiled and quickly placed two plump peaches on her plate. Harry smiled back at him, the first true smile that day.

Other members of staff joined McGonagall and Sprout's discussion but Harry was now able to ignore them and heard nothing of it except Sprout loudly declaring that something a woman with thick glasses and lots of shawls said was utter nonsense. She concentrated on her peaches as best she could and didn't look up from her plate except to nod at Flitwick and occasionally glance at Snape. She made sure not to look the Headmaster's way. Flitwick was talking quite cheerfully about a charm he had once invented to make fruit juice itself and how he had never successfully used it on peaches. Harry's mind was too occupied to really listen. What was Snape doing? He hadn't said a word to her since they arrived. He hadn't even acknowledged her presence. The man was glaring at his food and Harry was pretty sure that the chicken salad was about to make a run for it. She had lost count of the times during the school year when she had glanced at the head table to find him starring at her and giving that she had lived with him for days now it seemed odd to her that he should now completely ignore her.

"You have been writing," said professor Flitwick somewhere behind her as Harry glanced at Snape.

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry, professor, what did you say?" she replied and she turned her head back.

Flitwick extended his small hand, leaned slightly forward and tapped Harry's right hand lightly with his wand. Harry looked down at her hand in confusion when she noticed the newest ink-stains – the result of the morning's petty attempt at taking notes.

"Is your quill leaking?" the charms professor asked.

"Oh, I... No, sir. It's just I can't seem to hold it properly anymore. It's like my hand shrunk a bit."

"That is not a problem which cannot be overcome," Flitwick nodded. "It is quite an extraordinary change. I wonder, was it entirely charms based or were there any potion elements?"

"I don't understand, sir," she replied.

"Hmm... Did it hurt when you changed?"

"No, not at all, professor," Harry shrugged.

"Is that so? Very interesting, very interesting indeed!" said Flitwick and thoughtfully scratched his head.

"Is that important?" Harry asked. This wasn't the line of questioning she was expecting.

Flitwick exchanged glanced with professor Vector and the witch rolled her eyes slightly before returning to her lunch.

"No, Miss Evans, not important at all. Forgive an old professor's little oddities," Flitwick smiled.

Harry didn't know what to make of that at all but she didn't have long to think about because suddenly a woman was standing in front of her. She was covered in shawls and jewelry and wore a pair of thick glasses that made her eyes enormous. Harry had seen her earlier but she didn't know her name. In fact, she could not remember having noticed her during the school year. Was she new?

"Oh, my dearest!" a soft ethereal voice spoke. The woman extended her hand to Harry. She assumed the older witch wanted to shake hands with her so she held out her own to her. However, the woman simply grabbed her hand and began turning it around, studying it.

"Oh, no, no, no! Tsk... Tsk... This looks grave indeed! Oh, my dearest, you have been through so much and the blood moon is rising! I see danger! A stranger in the mist! Beware, beware! Oh, a great change! A grave change! This year is in the sign of the snake. Oh, the tragedy!"

"Sybill!" the voice sent chills down Harry spine, which was why she was so surprised when she found the voice belonged to McGonagall. "Will you stop that and sit down!"

Harry just gaped at the strange witch and an tried to pull her hand back but the other tightened her grip.

"Dear child, I see death in the horizon!"

Just then a loud bang resounded through the hall as Snape slammed his goblet into the table and rose from his seat. He didn't even have to moved from his position before the woman let go of Harry's hand.

"Sybill, why don't you try the cherry tea?" a surprisingly blissful Dumbledore suggested.

"I cannot drink fruit teas near the full moon, Headmaster!" replied the woman as if that was a good explanation and she had given many times before.

As the woman got back to her seat, Snape turned to Harry for the first time. He walked over behind her and placed the now familiar vial next to her plate.

"Eat some bread, Miss Evans, the potion needs something to work with and be quick about it will you? I wish to deliver you back to your rooms so I may return to the dungeons.

At first Harry didn't really understand what he was referring to. Her _rooms?_ She only had the one! The she suddenly remembered that she was supposed to be staying in a guestroom and not actually be living with Snape.

"Oh... Yes, sir," answered quietly.

"Severus, I may easily walk her back if you are in a hurry," offered Flitwick.

"Filius, as I explained to you the location of her rooms must remain a secret to anyone but Severus, Minerva and myself," Dumbledore reminded him.

"Then she may finish her lunch in her own time and I will take her to Severus so he may see her back," countered Flitwick.

"That will do," nodded Snape. "See that she takes that," he continued, pointing to the vial.

Harry grimaced. He made her sound as though she either couldn't be trusted or was going to put up a fight. Snape strode out the hall and not five minutes later the strange woman excused herself and left as well. Harry could breathe more easily after that. Still, this entire experience proved to be unsettling in completely different ways that she had anticipated. The rest of the lunch she ate in semi-silence while she listened to Flitwick and McGonagall discussing some seminar they were both considering attending in autumn.

* * *

Severus closed the door behind him and leaned against it for a moment. _How can they expect this from me? How am I supposed to bear this?_ The entire experience had been awful. For all the other professors knew he still despised the girl. He had done his best to appear indifferent to her throughout the lunch but Trelawney certainly wasn't making it easy. As soon as that incompetent hag had approached the girl, Severus wanted to hex her all the way to France.

He really shouldn't have left her behind. Not only did he not feel comfortable leaving her there, he also knew he was sending the wrong message to her, leaving her behind after specifically stating she was not to leave his side. He just couldn't take it anymore. He _had_ to get out of there. Bringing the girl would have been easy enough, had Filius not interfered. It felt so terribly strange. He had imagined this to be no big deal but he quickly realized that he had only considered things from Victoria's perspective. Her job in this was to join join, get comfortable with being as much as possible and answer any questions she might get with the rehearsed story. _His_ job was to appear to be the unwilling yet dutiful protector of a future Slytherin. Severus found that being so focused on getting the girl to play her part had left him completely unprepared.

He stepped away from the door and sat down behind his desk with a sigh. Minerva would have to handle it. He found he could easily ignore everything around him in such a situation. He could easily remain unaffected but that was it. He was grateful to Minerva who had stepped up to deal with many of the concerns and defended him. He knew if he had been the only dealing with it the danger of him losing his temper had been incredibly high. Additionally, having the Headmaster there was getting to him. Severus had the strange feeling that something was going on. Perhaps he was just being paranoid having just discovered that not only was Harry Potter a girl but also his daughter but he could not ignore it either. His instincts had saved him too many times to be disregarded.

He really should have brought the girl. Severus now felt terribly uncomfortable knowing that she was there with the Headmaster and he kept reminding himself that Minerva was there to keep himself from returning to the hall to retrieve her. That brought him to the main reason why he had left. Severus didn't know what to do with these feelings. He couldn't suppress them. Not with her right there. He felt like he did during those final meetings with the Dark Lord after he had switched sides. That game of life and death when any moment his former master might have seen through him. Why did he feel this way? He had felt this way once when P... _Victoria_ had nearly flown into the castle wall. He had felt this way when Quirrel tried to hex her off her broom and he had felt this way running through the corridors with the other staff members because _someone_ had gone after the stone. Back then he would have called it shock or perhaps even anger but this time there was no immediate threat to her – at least not a visible one. Was he... _worried?_ Severus shook his head to himself. No, it couldn't be. There was no reason to be. He was clearly just losing it. _Too much stress. Peace and quiet, that's all I need._ But how he was going to get it with a preteen girl running amok in his quarters, he didn't know. All he had to do was pull himself together.

Determined, he left the office and once in the living room poured himself a glass of firewhisky from a small cabinet built into the bookcase. He drank it down as fast as he could and but the bottle away. Sufficiently calmed, he returned to his office just in time to hear the knock on the door. Severus raised an eyebrow it wasn't more than twenty minutes since he left the hall. Was she already back? He walked over and opened the door manually to find Flitwick standing there next to the girl.

"As promised, Severus," nodded Flitwick. "The Headmaster was so kind as to escort Sybill back to her tower – you know how coming downstairs upsets her! Not that she should have imposed herself on Miss Evans that way."

Severus huffed. "The woman is a talentless fraud."

"If you say so, Severus," Flitwick smiled, nodding at the girl. "Until we meet again, Miss Evans." With that he stepped backwards to allow her passage but still he lingered there.

"Go inside. Before I take you to your rooms we need to have a discussion about your homework and books," commanded Severus. He needed an excuse to take the girl inside instead of immediately taking the girl to the room which they pretended she occupied and he had been meaning to talk to her about that anyway.

"You're not going to give me any more, are you?" said Victoria, narrowing her eyes. "I already did the list and..."

"I am not," Severus interrupted her before she could say anything revealing in front of Flitwick whom she seemed to have forgotten was present. "But I cannot guarantee that I won't if you don't hurry up."

"Not doing any more," muttered the girl as she made her way to the door. "All I do is read and write."

Flitwick let out a chuckle in the back, alerting the girl to his continued presence.

"Oh, professor! I..." she began as she realized how she had been acting in front of an audience.

"It's quite alright. None us like to work constantly, do we? Now, you run along, child. Mind your father."

Severus wasn't sure who was more surprised – him or Victoria. At least the girl had the sense to escape into the office as soon as she got over the initial shock but Severus was left there with the other professor.

"Excuse me?" he tried – doing his best to neither confirm nor deny what had been said in case he had misunderstood the meaning.

"Oh, Severus," chuckled Flitwick. "I wasn't born yesterday, now was I? I can see why the Headmaster would keep this a secret and so you have little to fear from me. Your secret is safe."

"How?" was all Severus managed to get out. He was terribly confused. Had the girl told him? The Headmaster?

"You bring the girl along and promptly ignore her the entire meal despite the fact that she was clearly longing for your attention? That in itself is curious. I was there, Severus! An unknown father indeed! I only ever saw Lily Evans speak regularly with three boys during her time at Hogwarts and Severus, the child looks awfully like you."

"She does not. She looks like Lily," sneered Severus.

"She looks like both of you," said Flitwick, raising a bushy eyebrow.

"It cannot be known," he replied.

"It won't," promised Flitwick. "But if there's anything..."

Severus nodded. He didn't really know how to address this. He would have to speak to Minerva but that would have to wait.

"Will we see you tonight?"

"Tomorrow," replied Severus after a short pause. Then the two professors took leave of each other and went their separate way. Flitwick left mentally wishing the girl good luck and Severus returned to his office thinking only one thing: _Does she really look like me?_

 **TBC**


	27. The rules of chess

**AN: It belongs to Joanne and no one pays me for playing around with it.**

* * *

"What happened?" Snape demanded as he stared down at Harry.

She shook her head in confusion. "Nothing." Snape didn't move an inch and Harry began to feel like she must have done something wrong she'd forgotten about because Snape couldn't seriously be asking her about lunch, could he?

" _Nothing_ ," Snape repeated. "Did you or did you not inform professor Flitwick of the situation?"

"What? No! I didn't say anything!" she protested while she tried her best to remember whether she in fact _had_ said something. Unbeknownst to her, Snape actually didn't truly think she'd said too much – he would just much prefer that to what had actually happened. Snape sighed and ran his hand across his face.

"It seems professor Flitwick was able to discover our connection without assistance then. He is a very brilliant man but this still means we must be exceedingly careful to ensure this does not happen again."

"Oh," she replied. Harry didn't really want to discuss that right now. The entire thing had been a bit overwhelming. She turned to move towards her room but stopped when she remembered something. "Erm, professor?" she asked.

"Yes?" Snape replied with a slight sneer.

Harry had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. Seriously! Every time she asked him a question he acted as though she was constantly pestering him and every time she made a mistake he acted like it was the worst thing anyone had ever done – well, at least that was how she felt. Getting into an argument now would be counterproductive so she tried to look as neutral and oblivious as she could.

"If they know who I am now, does that mean I can go outside?" she inquired hopefully.

"I suppose so, however, I distinctly recall there being a certain little girl who refused to leave my quarters just this morning," Snape smirked.

"That's different," she objected. "And I'm not a little... I'm not little!"

"If you say so," he replied dismissively.

"I just wanted to walk around on my own a bit," Harry continued when Snape didn't seem interested in arguing further.

"That will not be possible. You will not be permitted to wander around the castle unsupervised. You may visit the library and other specific destinations on your own but you will go straight to and from, is that understood?"

Snape gave Harry a stern look when she merely shrugged in reply. _I'm allowed to anywhere I please when school has started, so what's the problem now?_ She huffed in reply and glared at the tall man in front of her.

"Can I go to the lake?"

"Absolutely not."

"Can I go to visit Hagrid?"

"Yes, you may, but not for more than two hours and not until he has agreed to see you," Snape replied.

"But I go there all the time! Hagrid doesn't mind! Can I please go?" Harry unknowingly whined as she got increasingly annoyed.

Snape sighed. "If it gets me some peace and quiet for the next two hours you may go but..." he said, pausing to place a finger on the shoulder of an eager Harry who was already halfway to the door. "You will go straight there and straight back again! If I find you have not been where you were meant to be I will be very displeased." Harry gulped at that as Snape held her gaze. She really didn't want to lose the permission to go out so soon after getting it. "If you see anyone you do not know you will turn around and come straight back here, do you understand?"

Harry grimaced slightly. "Professor, who would I see around here?" she inquired.

"Never mind," Snape huffed. "Off you go now. Remember what I told you! And Miss Evans..."

Harry turned around in the doorway.

"You do not have your wand and there are not many adults walking the grounds in summer. If I find you've disobeyed me and gone anywhere near the forbidden forest or in any other way risked your life you will be very sorry and that is a promise," he continued silkily.

The sound of his voice sent chills down her spine and Harry nodded. "I understand, professor." As she closed the door behind her she breathed a sigh of relief before she half skipped down the hallway towards fresh air and freedom.

* * *

The sky was completely blue and not a single clouds was in sight. The afternoon air was warm and a faint scent of plums ripening reached Harry's nostrils as she made her way down to Hagrid's hut. It was so lovely out that she felt especially annoyed that she hadn't been allowed out until now. Therefore it was with rising panic that she waited outside Hagrid's door, having knocked a few times over the last couple of minutes. She knocked a final fourth time and still there was no answer. Fang wasn't barking on the other side either. Where on earth could Hagrid be? And even more importantly, did she really have to go back to Snape's stuffy rooms again?

 _No way! There's no way I'm going back there now! What if I take a walk? He said there weren't many people out here so who is going to see me? But then again... What if someone actually sees me. Would they tell him? Knowing my luck, probably. I could go to the greenhouses. At least there's a good chance they are empty and... that's not really going around outside is it?_

She carefully began to make her way towards the greenhouses. There were many pretty plants there and it was a bit like being outside only the chances of being spotted were smaller. Harry figured she could talk herself out of any questioning from _some_ of the teachers but if McGonagall, Pomfrey or, Merlin forbid, Snape found her she would be busted. Trying her very best not to be visible from the windows she finally reached the first greenhouse only to find the door locked. The second was the same way only one of the windows were wide open. Harry shrugged and decided she might as well hide inside before someone saw her and so she crawled through the window with some difficulty and only barely managed not to plummet into a large tray with yellow flowers.

She walked between the many plants in the humidity of the glass structure. Some of the plants she recognized from last year but she found she only knew the names of a few – having had some trouble concentrating in herbology with Ron always making comments and Hermione defending the subject. She missed them. She missed them terribly. She longed to be with her only friends again but having a few hours away from Snape was nearly as good. Harry found she partly couldn't stand him but oddly he was also one of the only two adults she trusted to any degree. She just wanted the summer to end so she didn't have to be close to him anymore. He was going to pass her along to some other family soon anyway – he'd said that multiple times. Harry sat down next to a bucket as she tried to comprehend why she was tearing up. She didn't like him! She never had! But still she felt horrible knowing that he was going to send her away. It was silly really. She should be happy shouldn't she? Finally rid of the great bat? _He's getting rid of me – not the other way around._ The tiny voice inside Harry's head sounded almost wounded. _I'm the one who's a burden. The Dursleys didn't want me and neither does he! Not really anyway. He only wanted me away from them. I bet the new family will kick me out too!_

She leaned over the bucket and saw that it was filled with water. Her own reflection stared back at her. This strange face that was somehow her. A single tear fell from her cheek and distorted the surface. She didn't want him but she didn't want to be abandoned either. The surface of the water was calming and the image of the pale girl with the green eyes slowly came into focus.

"Hello," she said, managing a weak smile. "My name is Victoria."

Harry stared at her reflection. It was strange hearing those words and seeing them coming from her own mouth. She brushed her bangs away from her face, revealing the scar. Her bangs were becoming much too long and as she felt her hair she remembered that she hadn't washed it in a while. It was becoming greasy. She huffed in annoyance.

"Hi," She tried again. "My name is Victoria Evans."

"Hello, Miss Evans," spoke a sudden voice and Harry almost flipped the bucket in surprise. "I was certain I saw you around here. Did you get in through the window there?"

Harry stared at Dumbledore. How did the old man get in without her noticing. The greenhouse door behind him was open and Harry suddenly felt embarrassed not knowing how long he'd been standing there.

"I'm glad I came upon you, I've been meaning to speak with you about something," the Headmaster twinkled as though she hadn't either shown him contempt or ignored him at their previous meetings.

"I... I should get back," Harry stammered and shuffled to her feet, drying her eyes as best she could.

"A very beautiful place, the greenhouses," Dumbledore mused, "Of course it can be rather dangerous with all these vicious plants around. That is mainly why professor Sprout locks it. We can't have students and other people wandering about in here, can we?"

"Oh. I'm sorry, professor, I just needed somewhere to go and..." Harry explained.

"Do not fret. After all nothing happened. Still, I would not want Pomona catching me in here again. She seems to think I'm involved in the theft of her Cimbrian Sweetroots," the old man smiled mischievously. "Delicious things. What do you say we take a stroll by the lake?"

"Erm, sir? You're not going to tell anyone, are you?" said Harry hoping that he wasn't going to go to Snape.

"And have professor Sprout's wrath come down on us both? Heavens no!" he smiled. "I may be an old fool but I do prefer my head attached to my neck."

Harry followed the man out of the greenhouse and waited as he locked the door behind them. _Hah, as if he couldn't beat her in a duel! Hermione said he is the strongest living wizard!_ She knew she wasn't supposed to speak to Dumbledore, but for one she'd never heard of Cimbrian Sweetroot and so had no idea if that was a real thing and she had a suspicion that Dumbledore's silence was conditional. Before long they found themselves standing in the shade of an apple tree near the lake that Harry knew very well. This was where she had fled to after her first potions class and since then she, Ron and Hermione had come here often – occasionally with the twins. Dumbledore looked out over the lake with a thoughtful expression. Harry picked a small green apple from one of the lower branches just to do something and then threw it in the lake creating rings in the surface.

"Harry, I know it may be sometime before you can believe me but you must understand that I mean you no harm. I never have and I never will," Dumbledore began and Harry instantly felt uncomfortable. "I did not know what your home life was like and I admit that I have failed you there. I will not force you to do anything, Harry. I simply believe we can protect you magically to avoid any further problems with your relatives..."

"I'm not going back!" Harry objected and took a step back.

"I'm not telling you too. I want you to realize, however, that your teachers may not find an alternative and in that case we will have no choice. Harry..." said Dumbledore reaching out for her arm as she turned to run. "I promise you... I swear... If that should happen you have my word I will protect you."

"When have you ever done anything for me?" huffed Harry in reply.

"Now Harry," said Dumbledore, hurt flashing in his eyes. "I try my best, you know. I cannot be all things to all people and I have hundreds of children to look after but you always have had and always will have a special place in my heart."

"Then prove it," muttered Harry, who couldn't care less about Dumbledore's woes after having heard what he said in Surrey.

"Very well," replied Dumbledore to Harry's surprise. "Come to my office tonight after dinner. I have a surprise for you. Eight o'clock. Now you had better get back inside. The wind is turning rather chilly."

Of course the wind was turning no such thing but Harry didn't need another excuse to get out of there.

"Oh, and Harry? I don't believe professor Snape would allow you to see me or my guest so you had better not mention it. We will be waiting for you," Dumbledore called after her.

* * *

"You're early."

Snape sounded not only surprised but suspicious as well and Harry closed the door behind her, biting her lip.

"Yes?" she answered as she didn't really understand what was wrong about that.

Snape stared at her from his desk and seemed to be searching her face. "You're an hour early. I would have thought Hagrid would have kept you company for longer."

 _Damn it._ What was she going to tell him? She had been so busy with getting away from Dumbledore and wondering who Dumbledore was meeting that she couldn't tell Snape about, that she hadn't really given anything else any thought. To be honest she hadn't thought being early would require an explanation with Snape.

"Erm... He had a lot to do," she simply shrugged and edged towards the secret door.

"I... See..." replied Snape. "I have not yet finished my work so you may occupy yourself until dinner then I have something to discuss with you."

"Oh... Sure," Harry replied before she could think and she then quickly disappeared behind the door to escape the black eyes that were studying her. Once in her room she sank down on her bed. What was she going to do? What did Dumbledore want to show her? A tiny voice inside her whispered that she should probably just go back out and tell Snape where she'd been and what Dumbledore had said but she wasn't mental! Snape would kill her! Not only had he told her not to go anywhere but Hagrid's but on several occasions he'd told her not to speak to Dumbledore. No way. Maybe she could just not go meet the Headmaster? But Harry thought she might die of curiosity. Who did he want her to meet? And why didn't he think Snape would approve? Even so, if she went how would she get around Snape?

* * *

Victoria shifted uncomfortably in her chair. Severus watched her over the rim of his glass of water. Something was clearly going on with the girl and Severus was certain it had something to with her little trip outside earlier that day. He was debating whether or not to confront her with it. Had the half giant reacted badly to her transformation? Surely not. Severus might not know the man well but he didn't think Hagrid would ever be unkind to anyone or anything. The girl had been begging to go but then why had she returned so quickly? He had expected her to be late at best!

"Eat," he firmly commanded.

"Huh?" said the girl as she was pulled from whatever thoughts were consuming her.

"You've barely eaten a thing. I thought we had discussed this," Severus continued.

"Oh," replied Victoria and hastily added a few more potatoes to her plate which she instantly began shuffling around with her fork.

"That appears to be your preferred reply these days." Severus raised an eyebrow when the girl didn't react. Clearly she was once again thinking. "Miss Evans..." Still nothing. Severus grew agitated and placed the now empty glass back on the table top with more than necessary force causing the girl to jump slightly. Two big green eyes met his, confusion filling them. Severus sighed.

"Tell me."

"I'm not sure I understand... Sir," replied Victoria as her eyes instantly found the half-eaten potato in front of her.

"You're clearly distracted and knowing you, you are either in trouble or about to get in trouble. So, which is it?" Severus continued.

"I'm not... I don't... That's not true!" she objected.

Severus narrowed his eyes. "Miss Evans, before I ask you this, I would like to remind you that I do not appreciate being lied to, now, were you being completely truthful when I asked you about your visit earlier?"

"Yes," replied the girl but Severus did not miss that she still would not look at him. "It's just..."

" _What?_ " he demanded. He was sure something was going on. The girl probably went swimming in the lake or something similarly idiotic.

"Can I go out again? After we finish dinner?" she asked, noticeably biting her lip.

 _Aha! So she's not in trouble, the little menace is plotting something!_ Well, Severus would have none of it. Besides he had already decided he was going to discuss their next outing with her after dinner. "Absolutely not!" he replied sternly as he glared at the little miscreant across the table.

"But..." Victoria objected as she rose from her seat.

"But where exactly do you need to go?" Severus interjected.

"Erm... I... The library. I need a book," the girl clumsily argued.

The Potions Master took a deep breath as he tried to control his rising anger. The girl was lying to him – he was absolutely certain of it. P... _Victoria_ had never been a good liar but she was an infuriatingly persistent one. "Then you may get it tomorrow and I shall take you there myself. You will be going nowhere tonight. We have something to discuss."

He was getting tired of this game. He had been hoping that making it clear to the girl that he was not fooled and not willing to back down would cause her to confess but that had yet to happen.

"You can't tell me what to do. I don't have to hide away in here anymore!" Victoria hissed as she crossed her arms in defiance.

"You can either have that discussion with me and spend a nice evening in the living room or you may spend the evening in your own room, young lady! You are living in my quarters under _my_ protection and while that is so I expect you to respect and obey me and furthermore _be truthful,_ " Severus sneered in a low voice as he slowly rose from the table, staring down at her.

The girl just looked at him. Her large green eyes were slowly filling with tears and for the second time during that conversation she looked up at him. Severus inwardly scolded himself. His temper had flared again and he knew this wasn't going to help. He was just about to open his mouth and tell the girl to calm down when she pushed the plate away and ignoring the vial, she turned to the side and mumbled something not unlike 'Stupid greasy git'.

"That's it," Severus snapped. "To bed with you."

Victoria looked up at him as if only now realizing she had said that aloud. "But sir," she pleaded.

"Bed. _Now!_ " Severus barked.

"Fine!" she hissed, every attempt at politeness now abandoned by both of them. Before he could say anything else she had left the kitchen and slammed the door to her room behind her. Exhausted, Severus sank back into his chair. What was he going to do?

About 15 minutes later he carefully opened the door to her room, having already knocked and gotten no reply. She was lying on her stomach on her bed. Her face was hidden in her pillow and she did not look up when he entered. Carefully he placed the vial in her hand.

"You forgot to take this," he reminded her in his most neutral voice. She simply sat up, back still turned to him, and drank the potion before thrusting her arm backwards to hand him the empty vial. She didn't say a word but Severus was certain he could hear her sniffing. He was still absolutely certain she was hiding something but perhaps his instincts were wrong in this case? Perhaps she was simply worried or upset about something she wouldn't share. Perhaps something _did_ happen with gamekeeper. His instincts were screaming at him that this was ridiculous and the brat was up to no good but another voice which it unnerved him to find sounded rather like Minerva was pleading with him to be patient and let her have the benefit of the doubt. He decided not to comment on her not being in bed yet and took the vial.

"I will be in the lab if you need me," he stated. "Just knock."

* * *

Harry was staring at the silvery fabric in her hands. She had no idea what time it was but she knew they usually ate at 7, unlike school dinner which was generally at 6. Snape had left about... 10 minutes ago? Harry had waited until she was certain he wouldn't return. He was going to be in his lab. That could take hours. She could easily sneak out and back again without him noticing.

Still, she felt kind of bad for going. She had expected Snape to yell at her some more when he returned but he hadn't. He hadn't even sounded that upset. There it was again? Why should she feel guilty about lying to _Snape?_ What did it matter what _he_ thought? She'd done it loads of times before and it didn't bother her! Harry pushed it to the back of her mind and let her curiosity get the better of her. Who was Dumbledore meeting? Carefully she pulled the cloak over herself and opened the door. She was careful to close it behind her. The hard part was going through to the office. What if Snape wasn't in the lab at the moment? She could use the other entrance couldn't she? No, she was pretty sure that door was warded but she didn't know how. She silently tiptoed through the living room and into Snape's office. For a moment she was certain he would be on the other side of the vanishing door but when he wasn't she sighed with relief and left the office.

When she arrived at the the gargoyle, she knew to be the entrance to Dumbledore's office, she realized she didn't know the password and would the gargoyle even let her in if she was invisible. In a small hallway she discretely pulled of the cloak and stuffed it into a suit of armor – that, unless Harry's mind was playing tricks on her, didn't look very appreciative. She went back to the gargoyle and stood there staring at it for moment.

"Erm..." she mumbled, but just then she heard footsteps in the hallway behind her. She nervously jumped towards the stone creature in the hope that she could hide next to it but to her surprise it jumped aside and allowed her passage. She didn't think much of it, she simply took off up the stairs to safety before anyone saw her there. At the the door, she paused to catch her breath before she knocked. It swung open by itself and Harry stepped into the bright office, closing the door behind her. The first thing she saw was Dumbledore sitting behind his desk smiling as her and her eyes instantly darted around the room but she saw no one else. A sudden fear rose within her. Had Dumbledore been lying to her?

"Ah, Harry! Welcome! Welcome! I must say I wasn't expecting you just yet! You are a bit early, dear child. Our guest will be joining us shortly. Why don't you take a seat? Sherbet lemon?"

"Erm... Hi... Professor," she replied when she couldn't think of any complete sentences at the top of her head. She warily took a seat in one of the two guest chairs. "Uhm, professor? Who is coming?" she inquired as she accepted the offered sweet.

"All in good time. Call it a... surprise, if you like," smiled the old man. "I have something else to discuss with you as well. I hope you've given some thought to what I told you earlier today. No, do not answer that. I do not expect you to start trusting me again so easily. Harry, you don't mind if I call you Harry, do you?" Harry shook her head 'no'. "Well, you see, your teachers and I have some disagreements about the situation. I would have preferred to ward your relatives' house but your teachers would insist we change not only your place of residence but also your Hogwarts house and I have agreed to that."

"But professor, I don't want to be in Slytherin," Harry quickly interrupted him. She really didn't truly understand why anyone but Snape would think that a good idea.

"As I'm aware, but Harry, you need to think of this as an opportunity to make a lot of new friends."

"I like my old friends just fine," she huffed, crossing her arms.

"You would still have..." began Dumbledore but just then the fireplace flared a vivid green and someone hopped out of the fireplace. "Ah, excellent!" exclaimed the Headmaster.

Harry rose from her seat, her eyes wide in disbelief. Then a smile formed upon her face.

"Hermione?"

 **TBC**


	28. Trust is earned as it is given

**AN: I'm sorry for the long wait. I won't bore you with details but I'm working to resolve the slow updates. Thank you for your patience :)**

* * *

"Harry?" Hermione replied with some uncertainty as her eyes fell on the other girl. For a short moment Hermione just stood there – looking at Harry. Then a smile appeared on her face and she ran to her and wrapped her arms around her.

"Oh my god, I've been so worried! When you didn't reply to my letters I..." Hermione mumbled into Harry's shoulder. Harry hugged her back. Words couldn't describe how happy she was to see her friend again. "I can't imagine what you must have gone through!" Hermione continued as she finally withdrew.

"How did you know?" Harry replied, still in shock.

"Professor Dumbledore came to my house yesterday and... Oh! Professor! I'm so sorry. I forgot you were here," Hermione said as her eyes fell on the old wizard at the desk.

"Of course," chuckled Dumbledore lightly. "You two must have a lot to talk about. I will leave you here for a bit. Beware of the flip-beaked dice."

Harry hadn't the faintest idea what the Headmaster was talking about but Hermione nodded excitedly and took a seat in one of the armchairs. Harry didn't take the other chair. She just stood there looking at Hermione. It was so surreal to finally see her.

"Erh," Harry began and Hermione's eyes snapped up to meet hers. The other girl studied her with a strange awe and wonder in her eyes.

"Oh my, Harry! Professor Dumbledore told me you'd look different but... wow."

"I don't look _that_ different, do I?" Harry replied as she finally took a seat.

"No, I guess not. I mean, yes you do, but I can still see it's you. Do you know what I mean?"

"No?" Harry replied. "But Hermione, you said the Headmaster came to your house?"

"Oh, yes he did. My parents were very glad to meet him although they are worried now that they feed us right since he kept eating sweet throughout. Well, he told me they had figured it out... about you... and they knew that I knew and that you would like to see me. Well, he also said you had been under a spell and that you'd look different now."

"It's what I really look like," shrugged Harry. "Is it very bad?"

"You look pretty," Hermione smiled. "No, really, you do! It's just... different. It'll take some getting used to I guess."

"I missed you," Harry offered, not really knowing how to say such things.

"Oh, Harry!" Hermione cried as she jumped out of her chair and once again flung her arms around Harry. "I missed you too! What happened, Harry? Didn't you get my letters?"

"I didn't," replied Harry suddenly feeling like she was on the verge of crying. "I thought... But you didn't! You really did write to me! Someone took the letters but I couldn't get them back! I tried Hermione! I promise I did!"

Hermione narrowed her eyes considerably. "Someone _took_ the letters? Do you know who did it? That's stealing!"

"Yeah, I know... But no one believes me so what does it matter anyway," mumbled Harry.

"Harry, who was it? Maybe we can..."

"I don't want to talk about _that._ I haven't seen him since anyway. How was your summer?"

"You want to hear about my summer? But after everything that's happened you..." Hermione replied, astounded that Harry wanted to hear about that when so many strange things had happened to her that were much more exciting to discuss. Harry knew Hermione could resist a mystery just as well – or rather just as poorly as she herself could. The trouble being that Hermione was much more persistent and thorough in her research. The thing was, now that Harry finally sat in front of one of her friends she found she didn't want to talk about her own summer. She wanted to forget about it and just let everything be normal for a while.

"My parents took me to Cardiff for a week. My mum has an old aunt there. I didn't like her much because she kept shushing me all the time for no reason but at least I got to take long walks. It was beautiful. Have you ever been to Wales?"

"No," Harry shook her head. She wanted to side with Hermione but if she had to be honest she honestly didn't think the aunt was shushing her just for the fun of it. Honestly, Hermione could give better lectures than McGonagall if she first got herself going. She smiled.

"Are we allowed to go outside? It would be really fun to see the tower in summer – or perhaps the library!" said Hermione.

"I don't think so," replied Harry quickly. Clearly Hermione thought she was here on Harry request and so she couldn't possibly know that Harry wasn't in fact supposed to be there. How would she explain sneaking around to Hermione?

"Really? I'm sure if we ask permission we..."

"Hermione, I can't you see... I'm not supposed to walk around the castle alone."

"But we'd be together..."

"No, I'm serious!" How was she going to go about this? "Let's just stay here."

"Okay," said Hermione quietly. "Harry, what's going on? You look scared of something?"

"It's nothing."

"You can tell me anything," countered Hermione, clearly not buying it. "You know I could talk to McGonagall about it if you like?"

 _Yeah, like that's going to help! She's not the one who is going to kill me!_ She knew at some point she'd have to tell Hermione – not about the whole thing with her... with Snape. Not only had she been told not to but she just could see how she'd ever tell her that. It seemed her Gryffindor bravery was failing her. _Well, there's that._ She knew she would have to tell her about what the teachers were planning. Of course she still hoped that if she put up enough of a fight they'd let her stay in Gryffindor. She looked up into Hermione's soft eyes and considered just spilling it all now. But Hermione looked so happy to see her and so concerned on her behalf. How could she sit there and tell her they might not be in the same house anymore?

"I wonder what that is," she said as she got out of her chair and went to Dumbledore's desk where several papers were lying. It was a poor distraction but it seemed to work.

"I don't think we're allowed to look at that!" Hermione warned. "No, wait!"

Harry moved some papers around. Mostly just lists of what Harry presumed was new students and letters. Then her eyes fell on a large letter lying folded on top of an envelope with a large M stamped on it. The letter consisted of several sheets but what caught Harry's eyes was the name _Harry Potter_. She took it and unfolded it. There was her old name. There was her new name in Snape's spiky handwriting. There was Dumbledore's signature and near the bottom the signature of someone named Elsbet Magpie from the Department of Registration and a large stamp that read: _Approved._ Near the top was another stamp that said _copy._ She put down the name-change form and didn't notice when Hermione snatched it because her attention was caught by the second document. It was her birth certificate. Only this wasn't her original one. This one was brand new. It had her new name at the top. Under _mother_ was the name 'Lily Potter nee Evans' and under _father_ was simply the word _unknown._ This one had the signature and stamp of someone in the Department of Family Affairs.

"Is this... Is this your new name?" Hermione suddenly inquired. She was holding the first form in her hand and inspected it with astonishment.

"Oh, yeah, it is," Harry shrugged. "Well, I needed a new one."

Hermione suddenly gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't know! And I've been calling you Harry all this time!"

"Hermione, you still can! That's the whole point of having... that.. as my middle name," Harry reassured her.

"But what do you prefer?

"I don't know," shrugged Harry honestly. "I'm still trying to get used to it, you know? And it's hard when you don't hear anyone else call you that. It's just Miss Evans this and Miss Evans that... That's kind of weird too."

"It's a pretty name," mused Hermione. "Did you choose it?"

"Erm, yeah," Harry blushed, not wanting to tell Hermione whose idea that actually was.

"Well, I like it. I'll use it if you'd like me to," Hermione nodded as she handed the form to Harry. Harry folded the documents and placed them back on the desk in the same place they had been in upon discovery. She didn't really know what to say to that.

"Victoria?"

Her head shot up. Somehow her stomach filled with ice at the sound of it. She stared at Hermione. She found she couldn't bear it right then. When she heard her name pronounced she was instantly reminded of the person who had given her the name, where she was, what she was doing and all the emotions that had been whirling around inside her for so many days.

"Could you... Could you call me Harry, just for now? It's just... Everything feels normal when you do."

"Okay," Hermione said thoughtfully. "But Harry? If you're not... happy about something, you can tell me. You know that right?"

"Yeah," smiled Harry weakly.

"Maybe you could come visit?" said Hermione, changing the subject as she noticed Harry feeling uncomfortable.

"I'd love that!" replied Harry. That would be amazing. Surely she could get the adults to agree to that! And Hermione would be there with her and they could have fun together! Well, knowing Hermione they would also have to study but honestly Harry didn't care as long as her friend would be there.

"We can talk to Dumbledore about it," suggested Hermione.

 _Yeah, but who is going to ask Snape and McGonagall?_ In the next moment the door to what she presumed were Dumbledore's private quarters opened and Harry quickly stepped away from the desk. The Headmaster emerged, a smile on his lips.

"Ah, Miss Granger, I promised your parents to have you returned shortly. We had better not disappoint them."

"Professor? Harry and I were wondering if she could come and stay with my family for a while this summer?" said Hermione.

Dumbledore halted. His gaze shifted to Harry whose eyes instantly dropped to the floor. She could feel him studying her.

"Perhaps. We will see about that but I cannot promise anything yet and you must get permission from your parents first before we can really consider it," he smiled at Hermione.

Harry knew Hermione to be perceptive and she did give Harry a sympathetic look as she noticed the other girl's discomfort but she clearly didn't attribute it to Dumbledore's presence for she beamed at his words.

"I should get back, Harry. Mum and dad are going to worry if I'm not back soon. I'll see you soon!"

"Bye, Hermione!" Smiled Harry and hugged her friend goodbye.

Hermione nodded before she stepped closer to the fire. Dumbledore handed her a small pot from which she took something that Harry couldn't see. She then cried out an address, threw it and disappeared – all before Harry could truly register anything of what was going on. She waved goodbye to the green fire with a dumbfounded expression on her face as the fire calmed and turned from green back to orange. Dumbledore moved to his desk and sat down placing two book on the desk top entitled _Transformation Algorithms: Why it is not boring_ and _The Prevailing Morality._

"Professor?"

"Hmm?" replied Dumbledore as if he'd been in deep thought.

"Why was... Why did you invite Hermione here? I mean... I'm really glad you did of course but..."

"I rather thought you would enjoy the company of someone your own age," twinkled the old man.

"But you said that... Why couldn't I tell professor Snape?" said Harry in confusion.

"Because when last the topic was raised he objected to your friends coming here to see you," continued Dumbledore.

Harry couldn't believe it. Snape had said her friends couldn't come? Really? She'd been miserable the entire summer for more reasons than she could count and when she ended up with him he did nothing but complain about everything she did. He didn't even want her there! Harry's eyes filled with a green fire that rivaled the one Hermione had traveled in.

"Now, Harry..." Dumbledore said, sensing her mounting fury. "There's no reason why you cannot see them I'm sure we can come to some form of understanding."

"Right," huffed Harry as she sat down in a chair and crossed her arms. "Why do you do that?" she said with the intention of changing the subject so she might fume in peace later. Dumbledore only raised his eyebrows in confusion, she continued: "Why do you call me, Harry? All the other teachers don't. Aren't you supposed to call me Miss Evans or Evans?"

"I would if you prefer it but as I said earlier today you are no ordinary student and so I haven't addressed you as one. Speaking of which... How are you coping with your new name? A pretty yet interesting choice I dare say," said the professor, looking over the rim of his glasses.

"I should go," Harry suddenly said as she rose from her seat. "She didn't like being here now that Hermione wasn't there."

"Wait just a moment, Harry! I would like to talk to you about the sorting."

"I already said I'm not doing it!" hissed Harry.

"Harry," Dumbledore sighed. "The sorting hat has already made the decision. You have been entered into the records as joining the second year Slytherins this term. It is done now."

"Why don't you care about what I want? I want to stay with my friends!"

"You will always have your friends, Harry. Those who love us do not leave us behind so easily. This is important. I know you've not been on the best of terms with some of the Slytherins but I would like that to change. I want you to build bridges as they say."

"I'm not building anything with Malfoy!" she glared.

"Ah, but do you not see? That is precisely the point. You must. In fact I believe they would benefit from your friendship. It would bring the houses closer together and you may introduce them to the Gryffindor values," twinkled Dumbledore.

"He's a slimy prat!" retorted Harry.

"Forgive and forget, Harry. A saying I dare say your mother lived by."

"What do you mean?"

"Otherwise we wouldn't have you, would we? Ah, but it's getting late. Give some thought to befriending your future house-mates."

Harry didn't need to hear anything more. She slammed the door behind her as she went.

* * *

 _What the hell is that supposed to mean?_ She stormed down the stairs, positively fuming. For one thing anything regarding her transfer was enough to send her over the edge but it wasn't just that. _Forgive and forget. Otherwise we wouldn't have you._ She knew it! That just had to have been a reason why Snape hadn't mentioned anything about the past. Clearly he did something to her mum as well. Was it as bad as what James did? And if it wasn't why wouldn't he tell her?

Consumed by these thoughts Harry reached the end of the stairs and as the gargoyle lept aside she made her way towards the smaller hallway. She was surprised to find that the armor had moved at least three meters down the hallway and was now equipped with an axe. She could have sword it was a sword earlier. She took a moment to listen for any signs of Peeves about. Sure enough it was the same armor, as she discovered when her cloak was inside where she left it. She wrapped the cloak around her shoulders. Speaking of Snape, never mind Dumbledore's mysterious words, would Snape have noticed that she was gone? What would she even say if he had? Earlier that day she had only barely managed to get away with lying to him but what would be her excuse now? Not that he had any right to tell her where she could and could go, but somehow she didn't think he would see it that way. She could tell him she went to see another professor, perhaps? But he'd likely just go and ask them. Unless... He didn't like them. Perhaps. Harry took a deep breath. Perhaps she would be lucky and he hadn't yet left his lab.

The office door wasn't locked. She had halfway expected it to be. In fact she had expected Snape to be at his desk, glaring at her the moment she silently stepped inside but the room was quiet and the remaining embers in the fireplace was the only source of light. She fumbled her way to the right book and stepped through the door with her heart in her throat. The living room was quiet except for the crackling fire. She was alone. There was no sound coming from the kitchen or the hallway either. He hadn't left the lab then. Sighing with relief, Harry went to her room. She could have sworn she had closed the door behind her but clearly she should be thanking her lucky stars that Snape hadn't passed or it would have been clear to see that she wasn't there. Quickly she stuffed the cloak into a shirt and hid it in the wardrobe and she couldn't have finished soon enough for the next thing she heard was a loud bang emanating from the living room.

She got on her feet and sneaked into the hallway with her heart racing. Had she knocked something over? Had something happened in the lab? She didn't even make it to the door before she came face to face with the Potions Master himself.

"Did you..." she blurted out, intending to nonchalantly question whether he'd blown up his own potion but she never made it to the end of that sentence before Snape hands clamped down upon her shoulders.

" _Where have you been?_ " he hissed. His fingers dug into her but Harry didn't dare complain. She stood there gaping at him, unable to remember what exactly she'd planned to do.

"I was... in my room," she offered. That was clearly the wrong response because Snape's scowl darkened tremendously and Harry was uncomfortably reminded of a viper preparing the strike.

"Do you realize I have been looking for you for more than half an hour?"

"Erm... Well, you know maybe we just missed each other?" mumbled Harry as she tried to back away.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, maybe I was in the kitchen when you looked in my room and so on," said Harry. She tried to shrug but that proved to be a mistake with Snape's tight grip on her. Snape slightly bent down until their faces were mere centimeters apart.

"Do you take me for a fool?"

* * *

Severus glared at the small girl squirming in front of him. His heart was still racing. He'd been just about to give Minerva a panicked floocall when he had heard someone in the hallway. She was not one of his snakes – well, not until recently at least and she had no idea how deep the dungeons went or how to navigate them. After all it was only last year he had to search them for hours only to find Blatton – a nitwit of a first year, stuck in one of the old drainage pipes. How exactly he'd managed to get in there was still a mystery as Severus hadn't been able to get a coherent response out of the boy. That was only the dungeons. The castle had a life of it's own. There were so many rooms, so many spells that no one alive knew about them all. Not even Dumbledore did. Ancient as he was, there were still plenty of things that were before his time.

"You were nowhere near this place," he thundered. The girl seemed frozen. Her eyes where vacant. Severus knew that stare. He'd seen it hundreds of times. Especially with a certain little blond boy who often found himself in trouble. He could practically see the wheels turning in her mind as she tried to come up with some sort of story. Severus didn't know whether he should feel disappointed or happy that she was a terrible liar compared to his snakes. Gryffindors generally were bumbling deers in headlights in such situations. No! Not a Gryffindor. She was a Slytherin. The hat had said so. Gryffindor was James and his lot. Severus dismissed the thought that Lily was a lion too. She was clever enough to be in Slytherin – he had always thought so. If only she had been things might have been different. _Do you really think your peers would have welcomed her? Do you really think they would have left her alone?_ A small voice whispered. _I would have protected her. I wouldn't have let anyone touch her!_ Severus reasoned with himself but he was getting off track. He stared down at the child in front of him. The last bit of Lily. The testimony that she really had believed in him. The reminder of everything he had lost and everything he still had to lose.

"I... I told you I had to go to the library," Victoria mumbled. She didn't even look at him. Severus felt his heart sink. That was new. The anger was there too. The anger he was fighting to keep down. Where did the sadness come from? The disappointment? Had he honestly thought she was going to tell him what was really going on? It wasn't just now. Something had happened earlier as well.

"The _library?_ " Severus repeated slowly. "And where, may I ask, is your book? In you room perhaps?" The panicked look on the girl's face was priceless and in any other circumstance Severus would likely have thought it hilarious.

"Umm... I couldn't find it," she replied. What was the point of it? His entire argument to Dumbledore had been that he could provide better protection for her if she was near him. What kind of protection could he possibly provide when Victoria didn't even trust him enough to follow the simplest instructions? How could he protect a child if he couldn't trust her not to sneak around. He knew who he was. He knew he was the scary bat of the dungeons – and yes, the occurrences of Slytherins coming to him because they were upset, homesick or scared of the dark were few and far between. He didn't complain. There were prefects to deal with that sort of thing and frankly he couldn't be bothered with it. But when there were serious problems, when they were in trouble or something serious had happened the majority did come to him – even if many were shaking in their boots as they did so. Was the girl to scared of him to confess? The thought was sickening. Children shouldn't ever be afraid of their parents – he knew _that._ Perhaps it was the other way around? Had he lost his touch with her and could no longer intimidate her into confessing? He didn't know what to make of it. It was unfamiliar territory to him.

"Let me make myself very clear," he said as calmly as he could after a moments silence. "You're lying. I know it and you know it. I'm at the very end of patience. I'm only asking you one more time – where have you been?"

There! Honestly he didn't really know what he planned to do about it. A part of him just wanted to shake her and preferably give her a few smacks to the rear but that tiny voice that sounded uncomfortably like Minerva was huffing at him saying that wasn't likely to help the situation at all. What did parents even do when they reached these kinds of stalemates? He had tried it before as a teacher but then the solution had been to owl the child's parents and have them deal with it. This was _his_ child. He knew exactly what his own parents would have done. His mother would have let Tobias handle it and Tobias... Well, he wasn't ever going deal with Victoria by _his_ example. She had already known too much of that sort of thing despite her relatives being near angelic by comparison to his own childhood home. But any amount was too much.

"I just..." said Victoria as she scraped the floor with her left shoe. Severus loosened his grip on her considerably. What did his mother used to say? Severus sighed.

"Believe it or not I am only trying to help you. My main concern is your safety but I cannot guarantee it if you are not honest with me."

He wasn't a fool. He knew she was likely lying because she knew she would be in trouble if he knew the truth. He briefly considered promising her he wouldn't punish her should she tell the truth but quickly dismissed that as a foolish notion. That would teach her absolutely nothing. He had sworn he wouldn't allow her to escape consequences like others had done before him.

She looked almost... guilty? That was a good sign.

"Miss Evans?" he urged her in a stern voice.

Too late he realized his mistake. Something changed in her eyes and she pulled away from him, stepping backwards towards her room.

"You only care about me doing whatever you say. Well, I don't need you to protect me! I beat Voldemort twice! So stay out of it!"

The mark hidden under his sleeve flared with pain but Severus didn't flinch. He stood there expressionless for a moment as the furious girl huffed and puffed like she was about to bring the castle down about their ears should he contradict her. What _did_ his mother used to say? The fact alone that he couldn't remember spoke volumes. His hands were shaking and he quickly clenched them before he marched into the confused girl's room and opened her wardrobe. Grabbing a pair of pajamas he took Victoria by the arm and pulled her out through the hallway entrance. She didn't protest, clearly too shocked to speak. When they finally reached their destination, he flung the door to Minerva's office open without bothering to knock and pulled the girl inside.

"Severus, was is..." Minerva said as she quickly rose from her desk.

"She will be staying with you tonight," Severus replied. It wasn't a question, it wasn't even a request.

Minerva looked shocked but quickly opened the door to her own quarters. "Harry, get inside, I'll be right there." Victoria didn't need to be told twice. She grabbed the clothes in Severus' hand and disappeared through the door. Severus couldn't help but notice that she was crying again.

"Severus!" cried Minerva as he turned to leave. She closed the door. "You're telling me what's going on right this minute."

"I can't..." hissed Severus. "I just can't... I don't know what to do."

"And so you give up? Severus! No! Sit down! Talk to me."

He remained standing but made no move to leave. "She's lying to me, Minerva. She's sneaking around, lying about where she's been and nothing I do seems to help. I can't do this. How can I protect her if she's fighting me all the way?"

"What exactly have you done?"

"I tried to be patient. Isn't that what you've been telling me to be all these years? I informed her I knew she was untruthful and I gave her several chances to come clean but she will not."

"And so you give up?"

"What am I supposed to do?" sneered the dark man. "Lock her in her room? Veritaserum? You would have had my head for that."

"Undoubtedly," the woman agreed. "Your problem, young man, is that you want to have your cake and eat it too. You want your daughter to trust you but you refuse to earn that trust."

"She trusts you, does she not?" Severus interrupted.

"Barely," replied Minerva. "I have been her Head of House for a year. Even so I have done my best to include her when possible and I have been honest about my intentions."

"And I have not?" scowled Severus, feeling his blood boil.

"No," said Minerva coldly. "How could you be when you cannot even be honest with yourself. I suggest you decide what you plan to do and you decide quickly. What is she to make of you?" When Severus didn't reply she continued. "I asked you last time we spoke in this office whether you wanted to be a part of her life – I suggest you figure it out and you figure it out fast. The Headmaster contacted me. Apparently Hermione Granger has been trying to contact Harry to invite her home for a week. Perhaps that might be a good idea?"

"Granger?" Severus huffed. It couldn't be too bad. The girl would be hidden from the wizarding world's eyes there. He took a deep breath. "I'm not good for her. I don't know what to do."

"I'm no mother myself but it is my understanding that no parent does. They learn as they go along," replied Minerva. "I will watch over her until tomorrow. I suggest you speak with her then and then she may go to the Grangers. Then you may both have a week to consider things."

A few hours later Severus sat in his bed with his eyes wide open, starring into the dark. _Who am I kidding? I cannot do this._ His thoughts went to what he had felt earlier that evening, what he had felt that day in Kitty's Creek, what – if he was honest with himself, he had felt traces off as he watched a boy named Potter standing by an unconcious troll, nearly falling of his broom and lying lifeless by the Mirror of Erised. He knew one thing: Even though the thought of a life near Victoria as terrifying the thought of a life without her was unimaginable. He wondered why it was no longer just because _Lily_ would have wanted it so.

 **TBC**


	29. Victoria

**AN: I own and make nothing**

* * *

Severus rubbed his temples. It hard been a long night. He poured himself a cup of coffee in the kitchen and made his way towards the table where the Monday edition of the Daily Prophet lay folded – courtesy of the house elves. He slowly took a seat and unfolded the paper with one hand while he took a sip with other. In the next moment there was a crash as the cup hit the floor and the brown liquid spilled.

A _reparo_ , a _scorgify_ and speedy clothes-change later Severus strode through the doors to the great hall. Breakfast had been over for a little while but several professors where still present although Severus took note of the silence. He quickly surveyed the table. Minerva and Victoria weren't there. Good. Had Minerva seen? He knew they couldn't keep it from her but he didn't want it sprung on her this early in the morning either. He sneered in disgust as several copies of the offending front page were hiding the faces of his colleagues.

 _THE GIRL-WHO-LIVED? - HARRY POTTER EXPOSED!_

Severus hadn't read much of that Skeeter woman's excuse for journalism but he knew the gist of it. _The scandal of the century!_ He could think of several darker issues. True, it had to be a shock but no one was at fault – well, no one living. _A demand for answers! The Ministry involved! The girl's whereabouts kept secret! Albus Dumbledore unavailable for comment!_ Those were the main points anyway. They made Victoria sound like a criminal. He knew it would only be a matter of time before they came to Hogwarts demanding answers.

"Severus, sit down, will you?" huffed Septima Vector.

Severus slowly took a seat while examining his colleagues. Only Minerva, the Headmaster, Hagrid and Binns were not present. Trelawney sat at the other end, sipping tea behind a copy of the Quibbler where _Snigglefrigs spotted in Manchester!_ covered the front page.

"Have you seen Bart Whiphat's column on page 8?" said Flitwick as he dropped the Prophet. "I'm afraid he's gone quite mad and believes Harry Potter has been murdered and replaced."

"The sooner she leaves the castle the better," nodded Severus.

"We cannot shield her from all of this. She must make an appearance," replied Flitwick.

"She doesn't have to be here through the worst of it. This shouldn't have happened yet. The Headmaster told me he would be sending in the information today," Severus replied in a low sneer. "She will be leaving to visit with a friend later this day."

"Ah," nodded Flitwick. "So that is what she was speaking with the Headmaster about then?"

"Excuse me?" Severus raised an eyebrow.

"I was walking down the hallway yesterday evening and I saw her enter his office," confirmed Flitwick.

" _What?!_ "

* * *

Harry stared blankly at the biscuit crumbs floating around in the cold cup of tea. Last night had been terrible – no, she didn't want to think about it. She tried unsuccessfully to empty her mind. She was hurt and she was confused. McGonagall had transfigured her a bed like last time she was here but when the professor went to set out a toothbrush for her, Harry quickly crawled into bed, not even bothering to change to her pajamas and pretended to be sleeping. She wasn't quite sure McGonagall really fell for it but she left her alone and that was what she wanted. She just couldn't bear talking about it.

"Let me get that for you," said a voice behind her as the teacup vanished.

Harry turned and spotted McGonagall in the doorway. They hadn't really spoken since McGonagall got her the breakfast which had been abandoned within minutes.

"I'm sorry, professor. How long were you there?"

"Long enough," McGonagall replied, smiling weakly. "You need to talk to him, you know that."

"I don't!" Harry protested and then she instantly covered her mouth with her hand when she realized how loudly she had spoken. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell."

"I know," McGonagall nodded. She moved to take the seat opposite Harry. "But Harry, you need to see... I cannot let this go. I cannot make you speak to professor Snape but at least speak to me. Let me know what is going on." Harry quickly located her knees and studied them intently. "Harry," McGonagall sighed. "I worry about you. I understand how upsetting all this must be for you. I really do."

"You don't understand anything!" hissed Harry as she pulled her legs up and hid her head in her knees.

"Then explain it to me," McGonagall patiently urged.

"I can't," whispered Harry. She could hear her own voice was broken and she mentally repeated ' _Don't cry! Don't cry!_ ' over and over in her head. It seemed that was all she'd been doing for the past weeks and honestly she didn't like being weak. She had been when she arrived at Hogwarts. She had felt broken and empty and always afraid but with Hermione and Ron she had slowly overcome that and the castle had become home. Now all her insecurities had come with her to the castle – the one place where she was supposed to forget her own worries and could focus on her friends or school – or mysteries.

"Why can't you explain it?"

"Because..." Harry sniffed in reply. "Because I don't understand it either! So there!"

Silence followed. Then suddenly:

"Severus told me you have been sneaking off. Is there any truth to that?" McGonagall's voice didn't sound accusatory in the least. Just curious.

"Maybe," Harry mumbled. Then she looked up to see McGonagall open her mouth – most likely to ask a follow-up question when suddenly Harry found herself asking:

"Why do you call me 'Harry'?"

McGonagall looked taken aback by this and seemed to consider the question for a moment.

"Would you prefer I didn't?"

"But... You never did before. At school. You always said 'Mr Potter'. But you did when you came to my aunt and uncle's house. Why?"

"Because we weren't at school. I knew your parents well, you see. Well, James and Lily. To me you were always Harry but that isn't how we address a student at school."

"We are at school now," Harry argued.

"Yes, but you are here as a guest not as a student and the semester hasn't begun yet."

"He calls me Miss Evans," Harry said quietly.

"Indeed? Have you any regrets in your choice?" said McGonagall.

"No... I like it just fine... It's just... Ugh! I don't know!" huffed Harry looked away.

"You don't like it when professor Snape says it?"

"I don't know. It doesn't make sense!" replied Harry. "It's just..." she continued after a pause. "He's like he always were. I mean like, he acts like nothing happened and then he doesn't and I can't explain it."

"Would you like things to stay the same?"

Harry froze. Then she looked up at the woman. McGonagall regarded her calmly. She couldn't know could she? Those most confusing thoughts. The ones Harry was still scared of speaking of aloud. Well, did she? Did she want to pretend that nothing had happened or not? Not a week ago she would have said yes but the words of Dudley and his gang crawled to the front of her mind.

 _'You can't have that! Go away! Nobody wants you!'_

'What are you going to do? Go cry to your mummy? Oh, wait! She's dead!'

'Hah! I knew they would fail you! You're just a stupid orphan!'

"Things aren't the same," she shrugged, opting for not revealing anything. "And he always talks about how I'll get a new family."

"We're working on that but we have the entire school year. Are you not looking forward to that? You will never return to your aunt and uncle. You will have a new home."

"Hogwarts is home," Harry muttered. "And..." Could she even say this? Harry let the relief of speaking about it to someone overcome her and continued: "They wouldn't want me anyway. No one ever does." With that she got up from the chair and made to grab her things.

"Harry..." McGonagall said softly. "That's not true." Then she added: "I think you should talk to professor Snape about this."

Harry looked up at the elder witch. _She knows. Me and my big mouth. Why couldn't you just shut up?_ She couldn't tell McGonagall so how exactly was she supposed to tell Snape? How do you go about asking someone why they don't care about you? How do you tell someone that it matters to you whether they do? How do you survive hearing them actually confirm it? Harry had listened to Petunia, Vernon and Dudley all her life – telling her that she was good for nothing, that she was forced upon them and unwanted and lastly she should be grateful for their kindness because no one would ever want her and they wouldn't be so kind as to actually raise her despite that fact.

 _The orphanage. That's where people like me are supposed to go. That's what they always said. Well, I wish they had sent me there. I wish I had run away properly so I'd be there. Then I would not know about this. It isn't fair! Why does it have to be him? My mum would have liked me! Why couldn't she have survived?_

"Professor? I need... Some air. Can I go out?"

"Harry..."

* * *

Would he be in his quarters? Could she get in without him knowing? It didn't matter. She didn't have her clothes or things but Harry didn't care. It turned out McGonagall wasn't keen on letting her outside either – just bloody great. Well, she'd finally talked her into letting her go to the library on the condition that McGonagall would be picking her up shortly and escorting her to the dungeons so she might speak with Snape. Well, just the thought of it had Harry panicking. She was pretty sure McGonagall knew what she felt. Her fears of being abandoned. There had been something in the way she spoke, the way she looked at her. The thought of Snape knowing was terrifying. That she wanted him to like her. That she wanted him to want her. Harry felt pathetic.

She stopped dead in her tracks and changed course. As she saw it, she only had one option and that was betting Dumbledore would let her go to Hermione's house early. She needed her friend right now. She reached the gargoyle and stormed right at it.

"Move!" she said but it only looked at her. "I need to speak to him! Now!" Then the gargoyle froze as if someone had cast a spell but then suddenly jumped aside. She ran up the stairs and opened the door.

"Harry," Dumbledore greeted her. There was no surprise in his voice. Perhaps it was he who let her in? "What brings you here this fine morning?"

The old man was in a dark red dressing gown and had a long white nightcap on his head.

"Professor! I... I was wondering if I could go to Hermione's house now?"

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled at her. "But child, they are not expecting you until this evening."

"I really want to go now," Harry shrugged. "Can't we ask them?"

"I suppose," nodded Dumbledore. "Why don't you have a Sherbet lemon? I'll just get dressed and then I shall contact the Grangers. I suspect you will need time to pack?"

"I've already done that," Harry lied. Dumbledore nodded with a contented 'hmm' and disappeared through the other door. About ten minutes later the door flew open and Harry quickly got out of her seat to see a flustered McGonagall enter.

"Victoria Evans!" she screeched and Harry immediately winced at the tone. "What on earth are you doing? Do you realize I've been looking high and low for you?"

"Minerva," said a jolly voice as Dumbledore casually entered through the back door now in his robes. Harry subconsciously backed up until she stood beside the Headmaster.

"Albus! What on earth is going on here?" huffed McGonagall.

"Minerva, why don't you sit down? We were merely discussing..." But Dumbledore didn't get to finish his sentence for in the next moment the door flew open with much greater force than when McGonagall entered and Harry was shocked to see Snape marching through it with Professor Flitwick hot on his heels. She felt as though her heart stood still. Snape looked positively murderous. But wait, it wasn't her he was looking at. No, he was clearly looking at Dumbledore. " _Headmaster,_ " he sneered. Perhaps, he hadn't noticed her yet. _Oh, wait, now he has!_ Harry gulped slowly as Snape's eyes fell upon her. For a moment he looked stunned then... Then his expression briefly changed into... disappointment? She begged for the floor to open up a swallow her. This wasn't fair. Her cheeks reddened as she attempted a weak smile.

"So..." Snape said ominously as his eyes bore into her. "This is where you've been sneaking off to."

"It's not like that," Harry begun.

"Severus, calm down," urged Dumbledore. "As I was just informing Minerva..."

McGonagall stepped closer to Snape. "We were simply discussing sending Harry off to the Grangers a little early," continued Dumbledore.

"She is not going anywhere!" hissed Snape.

"Now, Severus! What on earth is this about?" cried Flitwick who clearly had yet to be briefed on the true nature of the situation.

"Come here, Harry," said McGonagall sternly as she held out her hand but Harry couldn't move. She imagined this was what it must have been like for Neville when they left him in the common room the night they went after the stone. She felt someone place a hand on her shoulder and realized to her discomfort that it was Dumbledore.

"There's no reason to carry on so," said the old man.

"Do not touch her!" hissed Snape but Dumbledore only gave Harry's shoulder a comforting squeeze. "I mean it, you manipulative old coot! Step away from my daughter!" Snape furiously spat. Dumbledore removed his hand.

"Severus, it's not what you think," he said calmly but Snape had turned his attention to Harry.

"Come here!" he demanded. _He's going to bloody murder me!_

"Young lady!" said McGonagall sharply. _Well, if she doesn't get me first!_

"Come here, Victoria!" Snape thundered. Harry gasped. He didn't... He didn't just...?

" _This instant!_ " Snape added, narrowing his eyes when she didn't move. Harry didn't need to think about it. Her feet moved on their own accord and she nearly ran to him. As soon as she was near him he grabbed her wrist before glaring back at Dumbledore. "Don't you dare approach her without my permission again!" he snarled and then he turned and dragged Harry with him down the stairs – leaving a furious yet startled McGonagall and a dreadfully confused Flitwick behind.

* * *

He closed the door to his office slowly behind them and took a deep breath. He looked at the child he had been dragging to the dungeons. He hadn't spoken a word to her since they left. He couldn't risk it. He'd already blurted out her first name and if he didn't calm down he'd likely say something he'd regret. Hopefully she hadn't noticed. She stared at him with big, green eyes. She looked rather disheveled. Her hair was untidy, her clothes were terribly wrinkled and she looked rather confused. What was he going to say? He had to say something. He released her wrist and her hand instantly went to it. Had he been grabbing her too tightly? She looked so tiny when she hunched her shoulders like that.

"I trust you've had breakfast?" Severus began as he pulled out a vial and handed it to her. She stared at the nutrient potion in her hand for a moment before she pulled the cork and swallowed it in one go. "Thanks," she replied as she placed the vial on his desk. Severus took the chair by the smaller desk and pulled it out in front of his own and gestured for the girl to take a seat. He himself then took a seat behind the desk. Victoria looked every bit as uncomfortable as Severus felt. He was still furious. He could feel it and it was partly with her! Of course he knew how persuasive Dumbledore could be but she should have come to him! Or Minerva at least! Now that he looked at her more closely she looked...Was that a small smile on her lips?

"Pleased with yourself?" he snarled.

"N-no, sir," She stammered as the smile vanished. There! That was more appropriate.

"Have you got anything to say to me?" he continued.

Then girl remained silent.

" _Miss Evans?_ "

Her eyes snapped up and she stared at him. "I don't see you telling me stuff so why do I have to tell you anything?" she replied.

Severus halted. "I'm curious to know what you are referring to. What haven't I told you?"

"What," the girl snapped. "Did you do to my mother?"

" _Excuse me?_ " Severus' dark eyes grew wide. She couldn't know about _that._

"Why did she have to forgive you? What did you do?"

 _That old man is lucky if I don't curse his ears off!_

"What on earth are you talking about?" he said nonchalantly.

"She forgave you! And if she hadn't she wouldn't have had me!" Victoria got up from the chair. When Severus didn't deny it instantly she cried: "I knew it!"

"Sit down," he said in a strained voice. "You do not understand."

"You're bloody right I don't!"

Severus huffed but he didn't consider it a good idea to correct her language considering what he was about to admit to. Was he really going to do this? Well, it was Minerva's idea that he be honest and if this sent the girl through the roof, Minerva could pay the damages.

"When we discussed the founding of Kitty's Creek, you didn't seem unaware of prejudice against muggleborns?"

"So? Malfoy is always picking on her because her parents are muggles."

"Well," Severus continued. "Your mother and I... Were friends. We went to Hogwarts together. Your... _Stepfather_ " Severus spat that last word. "...And I... We were not on friendly terms. One day after an altercation with him and his gang I accidentally lashed out at your mother. I called her a derogatory term for muggleborns and I have regretted it ever since."

There! He had said it! He had to take a moment before he could look at her. Hopefully she didn't know the word. The students had better not have said it in front of her! He silently cursed his godson for coming to mind. She just looked at him.

"What word?" Her voice was quiet, almost a whisper. Severus sighed with relief.

"I will not repeat it to you, but rest assured it is a despicable word – one that is never acceptable."

"I knew it... You're one of those people! That's why you're always mean to Hermione even though she knows all the answers!"

"I..." he began. What had he been thinking? Damn, Minerva and her honesty! How was he supposed to explain this to a child?

"I know what it's like! I know what it's like to be hated for what your parents are! You're just like them!"

That had to be one of the worst accusations ever made against him. To suggest that Severus Snape was anything like Vernon and Petunia Dursley! Her face had darkened into a scowl.

"I didn't mean it and I suffered the consequences of it. Your mother didn't speak to me for years – and I cannot blame her but I _never_ thought less of her for being muggleborn. I was young and angry and I took it out on her. She was the brightest witch I ever knew. She was a radiant woman. And if your relatives despise her it is because they are bigoted fools!" he replied in desperation.

"Takes one to know one!" the girl huffed.

Severus narrowed his eyes, his patience wearing thin. "I will not stand here and be compared to the likes of Petunia! Petunia was ghastly as a girl. I was your mother's friend – her best friend. You cannot compare the two!"

She glared at him. Severus felt the fury radiating off of her. This was clearly not simply about the use of that word.

"They didn't want me either," she hissed before heading for the door, covering her face partially with her hands.

Severus blinked. It took a moment for him to fully register what she has said and exactly what comparison she had made. Was _that_ what she thought? No, she had it all wrong! She shouldn't want to be near him! He was an awful person! Was it too late to scare her away with the mention of blood purity? It was as he had feared and if he didn't do something he'd be just as bad as Tobias had been. He'd told him often that he wasn't wanted, that things would have been better if he hadn't been born and he was no son of his. If he remained silent he might as well have said that for he would have confirmed it.

"Miss Evans!" he called but the girl reached for the door handle and opened the door.

The question of whether he wanted Victoria was in the end left unanswered by his mind as his body reacted and Severus for the first time in many years opted for simply doing as his feelings dictated. In a second his wand was out and the girl shrieked as the door slammed shut.

"Come here! Sit down!"

Severus strode towards her as she simply shook her head. When he reached her, her hand flew out – open palmed and undoubtedly with the intention of simply holding him at bay. He instinctively grabbed her hand.

"Victoria!" _Damn it!_

"Let go of me!" she cried and Severus barely managed to dodge a badly aimed kick that was intended to hit his shin. Shocked, he stumbled backwards as she was dragged along. There were tears running down her cheeks now and he was surprised seeing as he hadn't noticed so much as a sniffle earlier. But he could not let her go. Not now. Not after what she said. What she thought.

"Don't fight me!" he snapped at the girl but it didn't help at all as she continued to struggle. She pulled away from him with surprising force and before he could think his actions through he had reached out and grabbed her, pulling her onto his lap as he sat down on the chair she had previously occupied. With her legs to the side she could no longer kick him. He wrapped an arm around her to prevent her from getting away and grabbed her hands with the other to hold them still. To some it might look as though he was partly hugging her but Severus knew better – this was purely for safety measures.

"You bastard!" she hissed and Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes. There was fire in her. There had been in Lily too. It seemed like time stood still. Victoria finally gave in to the tears and no longer tensed. Instead she fell almost limply against him as her sobs grew louder. He loosened his grip on her. It was strange to think he had had a daughter for almost 12 years and this was the first time he was holding her.

* * *

For several long moments Harry sensed nothing but the magnitude of her own distress and the scent of spices that lingered in the black fabric into which she was crying. There was a bottomless pit in her stomach and it bloody well hurt! After a while she became gradually aware of where she was and who was holding her. It didn't make it any better.

"You are the most foolish girl I have ever met," said a low voice. "I _do_ want you but if you had any sense you wouldn't want anything to do with me."

Harry didn't want to reply. She was afraid that if she did the moment would stop. The truth of the matter was that no adult had ever held her before or told her that they wanted her. It didn't matter that it was Snape and it didn't matter that it wasn't real – it couldn't have been, she likely just misheard but she needed this moment. Then suddenly she felt Snape moving and slowly releasing her. In response she flung her arms around his neck. She wasn't ready to face reality just yet.

"Don't go," she mumbled into his robes.

"I have no intention of doing so," he replied above her. It was strange. She could feel his heartbeat as she pressed her head against his chest. Somehow it seemed alien. She'd never really thought about Snape having one. He'd always just been the evil teacher. It was the same feeling she'd had the first time she was in Snape's bathroom or whenever they'd managed to simply talk to one another. She'd never seen Snape as anything but a dungeon bat, a demon, the evil git. It was so odd to see him as a human. To think he had a home and didn't just sleep hanging from the ceiling in some crypt. To think that he could be someone's best friend. To think that he might actually care about her.

"You're just going to leave," she sniffed. She was pretty sure Snape's clothes were covered in tears and snot at this point but he hadn't mentioned it yet. For a moment there was silence.

"I won't leave. I have sworn to protect you and I always will." So he understood what she was saying. He sounded a bit strange as though this was much weirder for him than it was for her. He sounded uncomfortable and that in turn made her uncomfortable. She squirmed to get down and he let her slide onto the floor. He handed her a handkerchief from somewhere within his robes. Harry gratefully took it and began cleaning her face. As she blew her nose she felt Snape's hand awkwardly patting her shoulder. She looked up at him. His face was expressionless.

"I am not a nice man," he began slowly.

"Oh, _really?_ Gee, I hadn't noticed!" replied Harry rolling her eyes.

Snape gave her a pointed look. "Well, it's good to see there's some spirit still in you."

"Thank you," Harry said.

"It's only a handkerchief," Snape replied matter-of-factly as he vanished said object.

"No, I mean... You know what I mean," said Harry.

"You called me Victoria," she mused after a moment.

"You wouldn't react until I did," he replied.

"But you said it before then," Harry argued.

"An indiscretion on my part."

Snape seemed to pause for a moment. He then got up from the chair and removed his robes. He paced back and forth two times before coming to a halt.

"I..." He closed his eyes momentarily and seemed to be muttering something under his breath. "I want you to consider this carefully. It would mean a lot of friends can never know.. You might be happy with a new family..."

Harry gulped. This was it. This was the part where he apologized for hugging her and told her he'd changed his mind. Who would want a crying mess anyway?

"I do not want to hurt your chances of happiness. It would never be..."

Snape paused as Harry took a step backwards, shaking her head. She knew it. Snape wasn't like that. Snape didn't care. He'd likely just gone insane for a moment and now he'd realized. It would never be what? Normal? Convenient? Of course it wasn't! Harry didn't care for model-families. She didn't care for green lawns and blooming daisies. She didn't care for lavish family meals and mountains of toys. She'd seen all of that at the Dursleys' and she couldn't care less for it. All she wanted was to be wanted. Not to be a burden again and while she'd have never thought it would be Snape she'd be asking for that – there is was. She looked up at the tall man. He seemed to be deep in thought. Then he met her gaze and stepped close to her. He placed his left hand lightly on her shoulder as he spoke:

"You are mine and believe it or not I _do_ want you. I want you to think carefully about what _you_ want. I am not the ideal person to..."

"Did you love her?" Harry asked. Snape blinked, the question catching him off guard.

"More than anything," he replied.

* * *

"Really?" said Harry excitedly.

The rest of the day had been strange indeed. She had felt exhausted and Snape had allowed her to take a nap. She woke later to find she had slept through lunch but a plate was waiting for her in the kitchen. McGonagall had been there while she slept. Snape hadn't said much but in the afternoon he had gone to speak McGonagall, Flitwick and Pomfrey. Harry suspected he had locked the doors but she didn't dare test it since she didn't know if he'd know. Not that she was going to run of anyway. She still wondered if she was very much in trouble but Snape hadn't mentioned it. Now it was late afternoon and Harry was sitting in an armchair in the living room.

"I can really go?"

"Yes," said Snape and pointed a bony finger at her. "But you will be going tomorrow and I will be taking you myself! Three days! And you will be on your best behavior while you are there! If I hear from the Dr Grangers that you've been..."

"You won't!" Harry smiled. She'd abandoned all hope of seeing Hermione.

"And furthermore... Don't think I've forgotten. There will be no more sneaking around. No more lying. I mean it. You're lucky I didn't confine you to these quarters until September!" he threatened. "If the Headmaster contacts you again you will come to me or professor McGonagall in the future. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir!" she replied.

"Good," nodded Snape. "I suggest you pack a suitcase. I've taken the liberty of laying one out for you. Your trunk is much too large for a short trip."

Harry barely contained a squeal.

"Shoes off the furniture," Snape reminded her before he left for the kitchen. Harry put her feet back on the floor and stood.

An hour later she had stuffed the black leather suitcase on her bed to the point of bursting. She didn't really need that much clothes but she wanted to show it to Hermione now that she had it – also she could really decide on what to leave behind. She left the sports-jacket on her chair so she could wear it the next day. Afterwards she spent some time thinking about all the things she and Hermione could do together – although she had to admit herself they'd likely only do half of them and only if she could talk Hermione out of studying. What were her parents like? She'd never met them before. She knew they were dentist and that many people were afraid of dentists. Harry wasn't. She hadn't often had the opportunity of going to one. Then she thought that people also thought that about _her_ father. Well, Snape was actually very scary. And mean. But he wasn't all bad. Because he said he wanted her and he let her go to see Hermione even though she lied about Dumbledore. Harry was overjoyed. She loved every git she had gotten last Christmas but these were the in her mind the best things she had ever gotten.

At dinner she ate more than her usual portion. She was giddy for most of the evening and couldn't be bothered to read. Instead studied the titles on the bookshelves, lay on the couch or made the occasional drawing. Once in a while whenever Snape passed by she would ask him questions about how they'd get there or what they'd said and if Hermione lived far away and anything else she could think of. Snape looked rather exhausted when he finally ordered her to bed at nine. Harry protested once but she didn't harbor the necessary annoyance to keep it up and so she went to after only one threat of being turned into a flobberworm.

"I see you managed to follow directions," Snape said as he entered her room to find her already in bed with slightly damp hair from her shower.

"Thank you for letting me go," Harry mumbled. Snape's lips tightened.

"If it means I get three days without your nonsense," he replied but Harry couldn't help but feel he lacked his usual bite. "Now, be quiet!"

"Goodnight," She smiled as Snape turned of the lights.

"Goodnight, Victoria," he replied. "Go to sleep now."

And Victoria did.

 **TBC**


	30. Storms on the horizon

**AN: Dear readers, I'm sorry for the delay. I'm seeking a beta for this story in hopes that it may speed things up. If you are interested pm me. ^^ Oh, and btw, I own and make nothing.**

* * *

Victoria landed roughly on the pavement on a narrow city street. Her suitcase was lying at her side. She retched but managed to keep her breakfast down – and barely so as the world was again send spinning just as she was swiftly pulled to her feet.

"Brush yourself off," Snape commented as he picked up her suitcase.

"Ugh, that is awful!" hiccuped Victoria. "Where are we anyway?"

"Hampstead," said Snape shortly as he lost his patience and slapped dust off her jacket sleeves and shoulders – nearly causing her to fall back down. Seeing that it wouldn't get any better he sighed deeply. "This way." He then walked up to one of several identical red-bricked Victorian houses. Unlike Privet Drive however, there were no front yards, daisies or hollyhocks. In fact it looked neat and charming without being overly colorful. She followed Snape up the few steps to the dark red-brown door. On the wall next to it were a brass plaque which read: _Drs Granger & Granger, dentists. Consultation hours 8-17, Mon-Fri._ There was a matching brass knocker on the door.

Snape turned to her. "Remember what I told you. I expect you to behave yourself – and I am well aware of how hard that is for you. You do not disclose anything to your friends that is not part of your official story and finally," here Snape paused. "It would best if you did not stray too far from this area."

Victoria didn't understand the point of that last part but she nodded a hurried 'Yes, sir' none the less, eager to see Hermione.

"Then there's this," Snape said and pulled out something Victoria instantly recognized.

"My wand!"

"I will not have you out and about without the means to defend yourself. Keep it with you at all times. And you must hand this to either of the Dr Grangers," he continued as he placed her suitcase on the ground and pulled out a small bag and and a letter which he handed to Victoria. Then Snape knocked on the door and stepped backwards. In the next moment the door opened and there stood a woman in a white coat. Victoria stared at her for a moment. She had the same bushy, brown hair as Hermione only hers was gathered in a bun at the back of her neck. Her eyes were a dull green and her expression stern but an approving smile formed on her lips as she saw who was there. Victoria looked over her shoulder, wondering why Snape didn't say anything but he was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

"Of course," sneered Severus as he fed the letters to the fire. _What did I expect?_ At least the girl was out of the castle – and just in time as well. He had wanted to get a cup of coffee but knowing his 'old friend' the sooner he got there, the sooner he could get out. Not long thereafter he elegantly stepped out of the enormous fireplace. He had had no trouble getting through as he he was expected. Expected indeed. Lucius was seated in a large green and black embroidered armchair with tea already on the table.

"Severus! And right on time," smiled the blond man superficially. He was still in his robes and Severus reasoned that it could not have been long since Lucius had left the Ministry.

"You requested me urgently," replied Severus. There was nothing urgent about the matter but to a Malfoy any matter of interest to them was urgent. "I trust you haven't called for me to oversee the completion of Draco's assignments?"

Lucius' smile briefly faltered and then returned. "No, no. He is doing very well. As he should. No, I wish to consult with you about the recent... news... regarding a certain child-who-lived."

"The Evans girl..." Severus replied unenthusiastically as he took a seat. Lucius' eyes shone.

"It is true then?"

"Very."

"The Ministry is in uproar. Fudge went to Hogwarts this morning to speak with the old man. Has he spoken to you?"

"You've read the papers. There is little more I can offer you. I was not present when the discovery was made. I believe it had something to do with a medical scan. The Headmaster has been very secretive concerning the matter."

"But she has been housed at Hogwarts? How long have you known?" Lucius' voice cut though the air like steel, his false pleasantries forgotten. "And in that time you could not find it within yourself to inform an old friend?"

"The Headmaster kept her secluded. Did you think he would trust me with the safety of a child I despise?"

"And now? What do you know of it?"

"Only that she is no longer there. Of course no one knows her location but the Headmaster."

"I will write to the board. You may expect immediate action," nodded Lucius.

"It is merely a little girl, Lucius, what do you intend to argue?"

"You needn't concern yourself but I will have something done about it. The Dark Lord would think little of one who does not strike when weakness presents itself." Lucius rose and walked slowly to the window. Severus knew this meant he was dismissed. He was no longer needed. He hadn't expected Lucius to say nothing but he truly didn't need another complication. Just this morning Hagrid had discovered Rita Skeeter trying to sneak on to the grounds.

"I may discover where she is hiding," said Severus as he rose.

"Severus," said Lucius calmly. "You knew the mudblood."

"I did," Severus replied coldly.

"You must have seen who she spoke to," continued Lucius as he turned to face the dark-eyed man. "And you must have seen the girl. Who does she look like?"

"I've seen her but briefly."

"Black perhaps," mused Lucius as Severus inwardly groaned. _There isn't a chance in hell that mutt could have fathered Victoria. Lily would never..._ But Victoria had black hair and so...

"It would seem the most likely candidate but I'm told there are many."

"Whores the lot of them," nodded Lucius. "You had a lucky escape from the mudblood wench yourself."

"I must return. I am expected elsewhere," replied Severus shortly.

"Of course," said Lucius thoughtfully. "Wouldn't want to keep your _employer_ waiting."

* * *

Severus stepped out of the fire and roughly brushed ash of his robes. The nerve of that man! Severus hoped and believed Lucius didn't truly realize the nature of his attachment to Lily. In his company Severus had always made it appear as a mild inclination – an memory from a foolish youth of the weakness of flesh. He had admitted that he once had been attracted to her, had liked her but never had he revealed to his dark associations that he loved her and always would. Only when pleading to the Dark Lord had he... But there was nothing but shame felt in regards to that. What had he asked? For Lily. _Destroy the child, slay Potter but spare her! Allow me this, my Lord! Have I not served you faithfully?_ He hated James with a burning passion but that was Victoria. That was an innocent baby. How could Lily ever have cared for him if she knew he had betrayed her so when she had put all her faith in him?

At least there was some useful information to obtain at Malfoy Manor. If the Minister was already there his interest was surely peaked. He might have failed the girl in the past but he wasn't about to now. Of course that wasn't as worrying as whatever Lucius was planning. He knew his old friend well but he couldn't see what Lucius could possibly say against Victoria. Severus knew the best course of action would be no action at all on that count. He would wait and see. Deciding to skip lunch he left and made his way to Dumbledore's office. However on his way he spotted Poppy and Minerva speaking in hushed voices in front of a window. Severus groaned. He hoped they knew better than to have any confidential discussion in such a location. An empty hallways could have hidden ears.

"Loitering in the hallways again?" he sneered, announcing his presence.

"Severus!" hissed Minerva, clearly displeased with the shock he had given her. "Do not sneak up on people like that!"

"Severus, did you hear the minister is here?" interjected Poppy. Severus nodded shortly.

"And you believed this was the best place to discuss the matter?"

"Poppy, tell him," said Minerva as she gave Severus a pointed look.

"I had the most curious visit this morning," began the mediwitch.

"In here," interrupted Severus as he lead them to a more secluded area. "What happened?"

"The Headmaster came to see me. He took Victoria's medical records," explained Poppy in a hushed voice.

" _What?_ " replied the Potions Master. "All of them?" What was going on? What was the old man up to?"

"I have copies of the ones recorded during the school year but the extensive ones are with him now."

"What could he possibly need those for?" wondered Minerva.

"Do you think he would show the Minister?" questioned Poppy.

"I can't see why he would," commented Severus. "And I could not see why the Minister would want them."

"He has asked not to be interrupted," mumbled the mediwitch.

"Never the less I have every intention of finding out what he intends to do," stated Severus.

"There is something else. It might be nothing but..." began Minerva quietly.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"

"He clearly goes to the Ministry but other than he only leaves his office once a day and Filius commented that..." Minerva hesitated. "Apparently he has been visiting Sybil quite a lot. And now... Now she is gone. On vacation it's said."

Severus blinked. That dusty old mop rarely ever left her tower unless a particular dessert in the Great Hall or Sinistra's star maps could tempt her. Just then a distant ruckus reached his ears. His female companions had clearly not heard but his ears perked. There is was again. Accepting that seeing the Headmaster was not possibly yet he decided to follow the sound. Moments later he arrived in the entrance hall having lost the much older witches somewhere him.

"I have a right to be here! The people need to know!" cried a blonde woman towering over Flitwick. At her side stood a scruffy man who was snapping photos of everything from the tiny professor to his own shoe laces.

"Madam Skeeter! I must _insist_ you leave the grounds immediately!" squeaked Flitwick.

"I insist upon seeing Dumbledore! The truth will out! He cannot hide from me!"

Flitwick clearly had enough and withdrew his wand. Yet, he spoke calmly:

"Madam, you will leave the grounds at once or a report will be filed!"

"Well, isn't that grand! _Journalist threatened by halfbreed and a Death Eater in the pursuit of truth!_ " she sneered and glared at both men despite Flitwick being reasonably calm and Severus having done nothing but stand silently to the side. "Bobby! Picture!"

The camera flashed as the man photographed the professors blocking their way.

"Out, Madam!" said Flitwick firmly. Severus knew that angering the charms professor was not a wise move. The woman seemed to have realized this as well for she huffed and stormed back out through the door, muttering to a quill floating beside her and occasionally snapping at the scruffy gentleman. Severus breathed deeply, trying to ignore his building headache.

* * *

Victoria was sitting in the nook window seat in Hermione's room, looking at the street below as Hermione slept. It was early morning but after waking up she found herself unable to fall asleep again. The room and furniture were white and the bed-covers and the window seat pillows were peach. The room had a bookcase which was so stuffed that several additional stacks of books lay by it's side. A unfoldable guest bed stood near the desk. The bed was still unmade from when Victoria got up. The house was wonderful. Hermione's parent were great – if one disregarded their interest in her academic aspirations and the fact that since Snape in his letter had informed them that she was in need of 'supplements' they had fussed over her more than she was comfortable with. She secretly wished she hadn't shown them the bag and letter – and honestly she was a bit insulted that he still didn't trust her to take them on her own. The only strange thing was Hermione. She too had fussed over Victoria in a strange way. Of course they had watched a film in the living room and last night they had stayed up late – talking and laughing. It was fun. But Hermione asked her how she felt too often for Victoria's liking. She didn't like all these feelings and she didn't like talking about them. She had been doing nothing else this summer. She just wanted to have fun with her friend and not think about it for a moment. Of course that was easier said than done. Snape had asked her to think about it. To think about if she really wanted to have anything to do with him. She looked over at her sleeping friend. Of course she couldn't share that with Hermione.

* * *

"I must admit, when Hermione spoke of you I thought you were a boy. Harry is a rather interesting name," said Mr Granger as he sipped his breakfast tea. He hadn't spoken much to Victoria the previous day as he had been in the clinic. He was not particularly tall. His eyes and hair were brown. He gave her a friendly smile.

"Oh, it's a nickname," said Victoria after quickly swallowing her bite of toast. "My middle name is Harriet."

"Ah, then I understand," said Mr Granger. "Jean, what time is it? I think I may have to call Mr Williams and reschedule... again."

Just then something tapped on the window. Victoria looked up in surprise to find it was a owl. "Oh, shoot! Already," mumbled Hermione as she jumped up and to Victoria's surprise attempted to shoo the bird away from the window. "Erm, Harry, could you go get my jumper, please?" she smiled. "It's on my bed."

"Uh, sure," replied Victoria and got up from the table. The adult Grangers didn't seem bothered by the bird. When she entered Hermione's room she could have sworn she saw at least two more owls fly by the window. As she came down the stairs again she heard hushed voices in the kitchen which became silent as soon as her footsteps betrayed her presence. Upon entering the kitchen the Grangers were all standing near the table which now held several parcels and a small carrot-cake with a lit candle.

"Happy birthday, Harry!" grinned Hermione. "Happy birthday," echoed her parents.

She gasped. _What? But it's not... Is it? What date is it even?_

"Surprise," smiled Hermione weakly. "Hey, come blow out the candle before it runs!"

"I wouldn't have known it was your birthday unless Hermione had said something. You should have told me earlier," smiled Mrs Granger. "I could have baked a cake myself." She shrugged apologetically.

"It's fine," said Victoria. "It's perfect! I... Is it really? I didn't know! It's the 31st?"

"Absolutely! Aren't there calenders in the magic world?" said Mr Granger mostly to Hermione.

"I'm sorry. I guess I just lost track," smiled Victoria. She skipped over to Hermione and looked at the cake. It was store-bought but she sure didn't mind. After all it was only the second cake she had ever received. With that thought in mind she blew out the candle. So now she was twelve. Mrs Granger cut them each a piece but reminded Hermione and Victoria that they should remember to brush their teeth after breakfast with all this sugar. When they had finished eating Hermione handed Victoria the first parcel.

"It's from me... And mum and dad."

"Thank you so much!" Victoria smiled.

"You haven't opened it yet," grinned Mr Granger. "We open the clinic in a short while so you may open the rest in Hermione's room if you'd like."

Victoria nodded and carefully opened the parcel to find a book on Quidditch maneuvers as well as some book by someone named Gilderoy Lockhard.

"Thank you!" said Victoria, excited about the Quidditch book.

"This one is on our list for this year," smiled Hermione and pointed to the Lockhard book. "It is an excellent read! And Lockhard is so... accomplished," she blushed.

"And there is another surprise," interjected Mrs Granger. "We're closing the clinic early today and then we are going out to eat."

Not long there after they were sitting on Hermione's bad as Victoria unwrapped presents. The first one was from Hagrid and contained a large selection of what Victoria presumed to be cakes. The next was surprisingly enough from McGonagall. It contained a few Pounds and a card wishing her a happy birthday and explaining that she might use the money as pocket money since she didn't think it had been provided. Next was two parcels from Ron. As Victoria opened it, Hermione took the attached card and read it. The parcels contained Quidditch collectors cards, chocolate frogs and a pumpkin pasty in one and what looked like small tissue paper balls in the other.

"What does it say," Victoria smiled excitedly to Hermione.

"Oh, he says 'Happy Birthday'," explained Hermione.

"What do you mean? Let me read it."

"Are you sure? I mean... Are you feeling alright with it?"

"Huh? What are you on about?"

"It's just," Hermione began, hesitating. "Mum and dad got a letter from the school saying you were under a lot of stress lately and shouldn't be allowed to read the paper. I just thought maybe talking about... everything... would be upsetting too."

"It said _what?_ " said Victoria as she snatched the letter.

 _Hi, mate.  
Happy birthday, Harry! So they found out about the thing, huh? You'll have to tell me all about it. I tell you, mum and dad were shocked. Asked me how I didn't notice. Can you imagine their faces when I told them I knew? Is this why I haven't heard from you all summer? Have they been keeping you in a dungeon or something? Anyway, I hope you like the cards! I'm sorry they are mostly the ones I had more than one of but, hey, it gets you started, right? The other package is from Fred and George. They say 'happy birthday' too. It supposed to be some kind of fireworks, like you throw them or something but I won't do that if I were you. See you at school!  
Ron_

Victoria smiled as she read the letter. That seemed to calm Hermione down.

"I don't know why they would say that, Hermione, I'm fine."

"Oh! I'm glad to hear it. The Prophet has been saying some crazy things."

"Oh?" That should have given her an icy feeling in her stomach but Victoria's faltering smile was not caused by the papers as she wasn't listening to her friend. She had noticed something. There was anything from Snape. Not even a card. Well, it wasn't like she'd expected anything. He could hardly send her something when he knew Hermione was right there. But maybe it wasn't just that. He wasn't the type anyway. Why would he ever send her anything? Did he even know it was her birthday? If she could forget then why couldn't Snape who had despised her for most of their acquaintance? Still, she couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. _Idiot! You know he couldn't possibly..._

"Are you sure you're okay?" asked Hermione.

Victoria paused. It was silly really. She knew what she wanted. She wanted what Hermione had. A family. And regardless of who that would end up to be she got to almost have one today. She imagined this was what a normal birthday could look like.

"I'm more than okay," she grinned. "This is one of the best birthdays ever!"

 **TBC**


	31. Determination

**AN: I own nothing, make nothing. You are filled with determination.**

* * *

Hermione put on her jacket as the Grangers got ready to go out. She and Harry had spend the day playing board games and watching television. Hermione had apologized that they weren't doing more since she usually got to go to the zoo, a museum or the theater or her own birthday. It was hard for the clever young witch to understand that just going out and having a day at home to do whatever you wanted was a lot to Harry and so she was confused by her friends gratitude and excitement. She eyed Harry's sporty jacket. This whole thing was technically in breech of the instructions they had received from the school. They had been pretty clear – she shouldn't show Harry the papers and they shouldn't go out. Hermione thought that was really odd and that it really was unlike Dumbledore to be this direct. In fact the letter had been short, to the point and a bit commanding kind of like a label on a product and very unlike Dumbledore but perhaps McGonagall had written it? Either way it had been a hurried letter because there was no name, only the school seal. But surely, whether it be McGonagall or Dumbledore they wouldn't have a problem with Harry going out on her birthday? They were in a muggle neighborhood after all. What was the worst that could happen?

"Here, take this!" said Hermione and handed Harry her own jacket.

"Huh? Why?"

"I just thought you'd look really pretty in it," replied Hermione. Well, that wasn't entirely why. "Try taking the hood up! Yes! That looks great!"

"Then what will you wear? Do you want mine?" said Harry from underneath the hood and handed her friend the hoodless sportsjacket.

* * *

"Hermione, it'll take, like, 10 minutes," argued Victoria. "Where's your sense of adventure?"

The Dr Grangers had allowed the children to sleep in the living room so that they might stay up late and watch a film. Mrs Granger was doing some late work in the clinic office and Mr Granger had retired early with a book, leaving Hermione and Victoria alone. The girls had decided what they wanted to watch, but they had yet to begin. Victoria argued that they couldn't possible watch it without some sweets or snacks. Or course the reason she was insisting was that she'd never had a sleepover at a friends house and she wanted this night to be exactly like she'd heard sleepovers were. Dudley had had quite a lot of them and they always were like that. Hermione on the other hand first argued that they didn't have that, then that her parents wouldn't allow them to eat anymore sweet things and then that they couldn't possibly get any. Victoria had then mentioned the money she'd gotten and offered to go to the corner store and get some crisps. Hermione didn't seem at all keen on that but nor did she seem keen on saying no to her friend. After all it was her birthday.

"Okay, but seriously, if mum and dad find out they'll be so mad!"

"So? We'll wait until your mum goes up stairs. And besides I'll do it. You don't need to do anything."

"Well, I don't like you going alone!"

About half an hour later the girls quietly snuck out of the front door. It was only a few streets away. They'd only be gone ten minutes. Victoria was pleased to see that Hermione's nervousness quickly disappeared. She suspected her friend secretly enjoyed breaking rules. She'd done it enough times at school. This time they both wore hooded jackets due to the colder evening breeze which made it feel so much more risky to Victoria. Hermione kept watch while Victoria went inside and as the made their way home Hermione was laughing. They now had crisps and chocolate hidden in their pockets. Therefore it was a bit it was a bit of a shock when they were met a the front door by both the adult Grangers.

"Where have you two been?" demanded Mrs Granger crossly.

Mr Granger, who was in his dressing gown, closed the door behind them. "Judging by the size of their pockets, Jean, I might well guess."

"It's just some crisps," mumbled Hermione as she studied her feet. Victoria felt awful. She didn't mean to get Hermione in trouble with her parents. She didn't seriously think they'd notice anything.

"Crisps? It doesn't matter if it were assault riffles! Have you any idea how frightened you made us? Coming down to find you weren't in the house?" cried Mrs Granger.

"This goes for you too, Harry!" Continued Mr Granger as he guided them into the living room. "What would your parents think if you went around sneaking out without telling them?"

"Harry, doesn't h..." Hermione quietly began as she moved.

"Anything could have happened!" Mrs Granger interjected. "Empty your pockets. I believe we will be confiscating this. I'm assuming you paid for it, Harry, so you'll get it back when you leave tomorrow."

"I'm sorry!" Hermione pleaded.

"No, I'm sorry! It's not Hermione's fault. It was my idea!" said Victoria.

"You hardly twisted her arm. You both made that decision and you should both know better!" replied Mrs Granger. "Now to bed, both of you and you go straight to sleep. You've had enough excitement for one night."

The girls got into their 'beds' on the couches and the lights were turned off before the adults went upstairs.

"Hermione?" whispered Victoria.

"Mhmm?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

"It's okay," replied Hermione from somewhere in the darkness.

It took quite a while for Victoria to fall asleep. She couldn't stop thinking about what the Grangers had said and whether Snape had felt anything like that when she'd run off in Kitty's Creek or when she had sneaked out. She'd lied about it too when she got back and she knew he hadn't believed her. And then she'd done it again. He'd been so angry with her. He'd said he cared about her. He'd said he wasn't good for her. The more she thought about it all the worse she felt. The thought occurred to her that maybe some of Snape's anger had not been because she was stupid, contrary and a burden. Perhaps he'd actually truly worried about her?

* * *

The latest issue of the Daily Prophet lay crumbled in the fireplace presumingly being of the most use to anyone that the Prophet had ever been. Severus was shaking with fury. How could he have been so foolish? Rita Skeeter was nowhere near as clever as she liked to think – a moron could have figured it out and Severus was a fool for not realizing that. As if he didn't have enough reason to be nervous of Victoria's return! He silently cursed himself for not following up on her threats and shadowing Victoria the day before. The article had been ridiculous. Comments upon hair, clothing and the girl's perceived likeness with known male friends of the Potters. Skeeter was gloating throughout the article as she tore the girl's fashion sense apart and concluded that the elusive Miss Evans was boring and in desperate need of a stylist. Of course! It didn't take a Ravenclaw to ask around, find out who Harry Potter's friends were and watch their houses with a photographer – waiting for the chance to get a good picture of her. Some might argue that Severus shouldn't carry on so, that he should be thankful it wasn't any worse that it was. But it was the principle of the matter! It didn't matter either that the girl in Skeeter's photograph was actually Hermione Granger and Victoria wasn't even in the shot. They had dodged a bullet so to speak. Dumbledore had apparently been the first to react according to Minerva who told Severus that concealment charms had already been cast and Skeeter had been made aware of her error in such a way that she no longer suspected the Grangers of hiding the girl. Even so, Severus was angry with himself for not seeing this coming.

The previous day had been nerve wrecking to say the least. He had gotten up, washed and had breakfast before deciding on another attempt to see Dumbledore. However, he first passed Flitwick who cheerfully congratulated him, leaving Severus puzzled as to why. Then he met Minerva who asked him if he had gotten Victoria anything. It was then he realized. _How could I have forgotten? The whole world knows this is her birthday!_ But he didn't honestly know if he was expected to give her anything. Well, he knew perfectly well that fathers – usually, gave their children birthday presents but he was still waiting for her to definitively decide whether she even wanted him. And he'd already let her go to the Grangers when he should have rightly smacked her. Would it be in poor taste so send something? Would it be influencing her decision? Besides he couldn't just send Victoria a letter without the Granger girl asking questions. _But surely she'd know it was me even if I didn't..._ But what would he give her anyway? Would she want anything? What did you even give twelve year old girls? Did they like dolls? Or was Victoria more into sports considering how she grew up? Severus didn't know much about Quidditch and he didn't care. What if she didn't like what he gave her? Would she then refuse to have anything to do with him? _Not that I'd want a child that spoiled!_ But he did want her near him and so didn't like the risk. Where would he even find anything? Her birthday was today! Was she too old for toys? Too young for flowers and such? Considering the fact that he had been working with preteens for years now, he knew very little about them. Perhaps he should give her something useful, something she'd need either way. Yes, he felt comfortable with that. There was no need for extravagance. Now the only question was what?

* * *

"Rats!" cried Hermione as she unrolled the Daily Prophet. Victoria almost choked on her cereal.

"Hermione!" admonished Mr Granger in a calm voice. "What's the matter?"

"Oh," replied Hermione when she remembered she was not alone. "Nothing."

"What is it?" said Victoria as she snatched the paper from Hermione. Her eyes went wide. There on the front page was a large picture of Hermione in Victoria's jacket. She recognized the corner shop in the background.

"What the hell?!" gasped Victoria as she read the words _'The Mysterious Evans: Harry Potter's true face revealed!'_ twisting across the front page.

"Language, please," said Mrs Granger.

"It's nothing, just some crazy wizard news," shrugged Hermione.

"Erh, yeah," mumbled Victoria. Inside she was seething. How long had this been out? How long had the media been looking for her? Why didn't anyone tell her?

"Girls, I think we need to speak about what happened last night," said Mr Granger calmly. _Oh, yeah... There was that!_

* * *

In the afternoon Victoria stepped out into the backyard of the Granger residence. She was not nearly as surprised to be leaving this way as she was to see professor McGonagall standing there. She politely nodded to the Grangers as Victoria stepped closer.

"Thank you very much! Have a wonderful summer," the professor said. The three Grangers all said their goodbyes to Victoria and Hermione hugged her tightly. "Miss Evans, if you will take my arm. I am in a hurry," said McGonagall calmly.

Victoria took her professors arms and instantly felt herself being squeezed into nothing and stretched back out again. But she had been too busy thinking about why on earth McGonagall was there when it happened so she didn't have time to brace herself.

"Are you alright, Harry?" inquired McGonagall as she helped her to her feet. "I'm so sorry. I had been informed that you have side-along apparated before."

"Ugh, I have," replied Victoria. "It's still awful."

"Ah, of course. We had better get a move on. I have a lot of work to do."

Victoria trotted along while trying to keep her insides from fleeing her body. "Umm, professor?" She asked as they neared the castle gate. "Why did _you_ come and get me?"

"Why, Harry, you could hardly expect the Grangers to let you walk away without knowing if you had been picked up by one of us and it would be rather strange if any teacher but me came to get you, now wouldn't it?"

"Oh." Well, that was one question answered. There was still other things bothering her but McGonagall really did seem eager to return to work and so Victoria didn't question her about the news. Victoria had read the entire paper in Hermione's room while the other girl paced and bit her finger nails. There was a man who said she was dead, which wasn't that bad. Then there were several articles which all but called her mother a slut. Honestly, the whole 'James was okay with it'-side to their story weren't really being paid attention to. Then there were people saying she might be the daughter of some guy named Black whom she'd never even heard of but apparently it couldn't be confirmed by him since he had gone crazy or been sent away or something. At least they weren't suspecting anything about S... Oh, wait. Snape. _I'm such an idiot._ She hadn't given it a single thought all morning. She and McGonagall separated and Victoria made her way into the dungeons. It felt almost surreal to be walking there now. For the majority of her time at Hogwarts they had been a terrible place. A den full of nasty Slytherins and the location of dreaded potions classes. Over the summer it had become both a refuge and prison. She had settled into Hermione's house so quickly that it felt like ages since she'd been here even if it was only three days. She reached the door to Snape's office and as she placed her hand on it it instantly flew open. Surprised, it took her a second to step inside. She kept her eyes on the floor and didn't look up until the door closed behind her. Snape was sitting at his desk, quill in hand and Victoria couldn't help but fidget as she struggled to find the words. He looked like his usual unfazed self although she did detect some hints of exhaustion.

"Umm, hi," she finally said.

" _Hi,_ " repeated Snape calmly.

Victoria blinked. This was it. This was the point where she was supposed to inform him of whether she'd like to have any relationship with him and he didn't seem at all like he had been waiting three days to hear it. And furthermore, Victoria wasn't entirely sure how to tell him either. After all she didn't have much practice in talking to adults about feelings.

"Umm," she tryingly began.

"May I suggest you go to your room and unpack?" said Snape as he returned his attention to his work.

"Okay?" mumbled Victoria. Snape's quill momentarily stopped moving. "I mean...Yes, sir. I'll do that."

She took the suitcase and let herself in through the secret door. She didn't know what to make of this. Didn't he want to know what she had to say? Maybe he was mad at her for some reason. Oh, maybe the Grangers had told him... But how would they do that? Why should they do that? She felt rather deflated. Before she'd left she'd nearly already decided. Being told she was wanted was more than she'd ever dared ask for. The only thing she'd considered was Snape changing his mind. Perhaps he had. Perhaps coming to your senses took three days. But it was terrible. She'd realized something at Hermione's house. Some time ago, ages it seemed, she'd have settled for anything better than the Durleys – it didn't occur to her to ask to be wanted or liked so long as she was safe and tolerated. But now Snape had said he wanted her and hugged her too. That was a promise. And she'd seen it now. How it was supposed to be. She'd never actually thought that families could be as nice as Hermione's was. Sure, they'd gotten in trouble and the Grangers had scolded both of them quite a bit – twice! She'd always been a freak and not worthy of being cared for. She been punished often but never for risking her safety. Dudley, she realized, might be doted upon but her aunt and uncle had never scolded him once regardless of what he did. But when she and Hermione had gotten in trouble she could see how much her parents cared about Hermione. Perhaps, Petunia and Vernon didn't care as much about Dudley as she had thought? But Snape was confusing. He'd gotten plenty mad alright whenever she did something he didn't approve of but now she thought he should be eager to speak to her if he truly cared. In fact h...

Victoria dropped the suitcase on the floor and it instantly sprung open. She didn't notice as she covered her mouth with her hands and took a step backwards. She hadn't initially noticed when she'd opened the door and stepped inside and for a moment she simply stared. Had she gone wrong? The room was completely different! The wardrobe was still there but gone was the old bed, desk, chair and bookcase. In their stead where new white painted furniture – simplistic but pretty. The bedcover was now peach – and Victoria couldn't help but notice it was almost the same shade as Hermione's room had contained only Hermione's were more rosy. The dungeon stone walls were no longer visible. Now there was light blue wallpaper there instead. The floor was still stone but there was a fuzzy white carpet lying between her bed and desk. It was clearly some kind of compromise excluding both Gryffindor and Slytherin colors without entirely being another house's colors either. She didn't know what to do.

"Your clothes hardly belong on the floor," said a low voice somewhere behind her.

Victoria spun on her heel and ran to Snape so quickly it was too fast even for _his_ reflexes. She didn't even fully process it in her brain but simply did what felt right as she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest with such speed she nearly knocked the air out of him. For a moment nothing happened. She couldn't think of the words to express what she felt and even if she could she'd likely have been unable to speak anyway. Snape had frozen completely. Clearly he was as shocked by her as she was but she couldn't let go. After a moment she felt him place his hands on her shoulders. Her didn't fully hug her back but it still felt very reassuring.

"Am I to take it you approve of your birthday present?" he asked.

 _He remembered!_ "Yes!" she mumbled into his robes. "It's perfect!"

They stayed like that for a few seconds until Victoria made the mistake of sniffing. That clearly became too much for Snape who was likely already very uncomfortable. Keeping his hold of her shoulders he pushed out from him and looked at her. Victoria blushed as she realized how silly she had to seem. But it was a lot! He'd gotten her all those things and she hadn't even believed he knew that she'd turned twelve.

"Put your things away. I'll order some tea," said Snape finally as he released her.

"Yes, sir," Victoria sniffed, smiling slightly. "Thank you." She turned and bent down to take the suit case.

"Victoria..." said Snape behind her.

"Yes?" she replied as she lifted the suit case and looked back over her shoulder.

"Happy Birthday."

* * *

True to Snape's word there was a tray with tea and biscuits waiting on the small round table when Victoria finally entered the living room. Snape was seated in one of the armchairs, already sipping from a cup. Victoria took a seat in the other armchair which was a bit uncomfortable because she had to sit sideways in it with folded legs to be facing him. Snape took another sip but continued to look straight ahead. Victoria wasn't really feeling like tea but she took one of the biscuits and took a bite just for politeness sake. It seemed like neither of them really knew how to start this conversation.

"Thank you," said Victoria. "For the room. It's really pretty."

"I'll admit I had help," said Snape to the opposite wall.

"Still," mumbled Victoria as she took another bite. "I wanted to say that..." Here she trailed off. Snape didn't comment upon that, he simply put his teacup back on the table. "I wanted to say that... I'm sorry." Snape looked up at her, a strange expression on his face that Victoria couldn't read. "I'm sorry I sneaked out and I lied to you."

The professor blinked. "What makes you say that?" His tone was almost curious.

"Well... Nothing," Victoria replied as she crumbled the biscuit in her hand. "If Hermione sneaks out her parents would be upset because they care."

"I see," commented Snape.

"And you...?"

"I care about you," he finished for her.

"Okay," said Victoria rather awkwardly. There was a moment's silence. "Yes."

"Excuse me?" replied Snape, studying her.

"My answer is yes," she said with renewed determination.

"You're certain?" questioned the man, his continued stare upon her.

"Yes... And you can't change your mind either!"

Snape sighed deeply. Victoria left the biscuit crumbles on her plate and waited for him so say something. He didn't. She was still nervous so she got up from the chair and walked over in front of him.

"Did you..." _Change your mind?_ She couldn't finish that sentence. To her surprise he looked up at corners of his mouth twitched. He was smiling? And then he extended his right hand to her while laughing slightly into the other. It was a light chuckle but it had Victoria so confused. The hand remained mid air and after getting over the surprise she reached out and took it. He gave her hand a squeeze.

"It's too late for me. I already... I'm never going to change my mind," he replied mostly to himself. Victoria smiled weakly. "What a mess your mother and I have made. But I will figure this out somehow."

"So..." Victoria hesitated to use the word. "Are we like... a _family?_ "

Snape snorted at that. " _Of course_ we are!" he said with just slight hints of a sneer but the smile remained in place yet. He released her hand and stood. Victoria was torn between keeping this conversation going and jumping up and down. It wasn't perfect. It wasn't Hermione's family either. But it was hers. She was giddy and embarrassed to be. She was blushing slightly and decided she needed a few moments to herself in her room to compose herself.

"Oh, and Victoria?" said Snape suddenly as if he sensed her eagerness to run and hide. The smile had turned into a smirk. "You're grounded."

"Huh? _What?_ Why?" exclaimed Victoria.

"For sneaking around to meet with the Headmaster, for lying to me and for whatever it is you've done while visiting the Grangers," he stated.

"How did you...? I mean I didn't do anything!" At Snape's pointed look she amended: "I mean it was nothing."

"I'm sure it wasn't. If it was substantial enough for you still feel guilty about it and something you'd not like me to know about. Furthermore, we never really tackled your previous behavior and if I were you I'd be thankful you're being let off easily. Another time you might not be so lucky."

"I've changed my mind," muttered Victoria, rolling her eyes. "Parents suck."

"Don't you start," replied Snape but it was clear that he knew she wasn't serious.

"We just went to the stores without telling them," shrugged Victoria. "It was nothing really. But Hermione got in trouble because I talked her into it," she explained sheepishly. She tryingly looked up at him but Snape just stared at her blankly.

"Are you completely..." he began, clearly trying to keep his temper from flaring. "No. Just go and settle into your room before I change my mind and teach you a proper lesson," he said as he turned towards the office door. Victoria remembered quite clearly from the last time she'd simply gone off into the streets alone what that meant so she didn't need to be told twice.

"I'll be lucky if I don't have a heart attack before the year is out," she heard Snape mutter as he disappeared through the door.

* * *

Victoria was surprised to find Snape quite calm at dinner. He didn't even mention anything. She was actually quite curious as to how long she was supposed to be grounded for but as she sat there she felt oddly comfortable and realized she'd actually kind of missed it. She wasn't about to ruin that. She wanted to ask about the news as well but Snape looked tired and considering how close he'd come to flipping out earlier she'd keep it to herself for at least another day. Upon reaching her room she'd screamed with excitement into a pillow. And now, sitting here it somehow felt right to Victoria. Like she'd always been there. Snape didn't say much but he still seemed to be in rather a good for Snape standards at least. It was so difficult to tell with him.

Later she went to the bathroom to take a shower before bed. After her shower she wrapped herself in a towel and she just stood there, looking in there mirror. Her hair llooked longer now that it was flat and she wondered how long it would grow. She didn't think she'd like long hair like Hermione. Didn't it always get into people's faces? She ran her fingers through it. Ugh, it was getting greasy again! She'd been able to wash it properly at Hermione's house but while she'd been living in the dungeons she'd only used water. There were no hair products near the shower. She didn't have her own and she'd been to nervous about being there to ask for it or look for it herself. But he had to have something! Well, honestly it didn't look like he used any. But still.. She opened the cabinet only to find several unmarked bottles. Most of them were greyish or greenish and Victoria raised an eyebrow. Why would Snape stock potions in the bathroom cabinet? One bottle was white and looked almost like it might be what she was looking for. She got on her toes and reached up for it. Her fingers graced it and in the next moment she jumped aside with a shriek as the glass bottle shattered on the floor.

Not a moment later there was a knock on the door. "What's happening in there? Are you decent?" she heard Snape's concerned voice say through the door.

"Ehm..." she said as she surveyed the damage. The was another knock and Victoria stepped over the glass to open it. Snape stared at the glass for a second or two.

"Stand still," he said finally. " _Reparo._ " The glass bottle reassembled and was levitated back to it's original place. "What on earth were you doing?" Snape sneered at her.

"Erm... Looking for shampoo," Victoria shrugged.

"Good heavens," he sighed. He stepped over to the cabinet and picked a green and an aubergine bottle from the cabinet before he handed them to her. "Mix them both in and rinse it out."

"Is it shampoo?" said Victoria, narrowing her eyes at the bottles as she turned them in her hands.

"No, it's something much stronger. I'll find you some tomorrow. Now finish up and be glad you didn't get my hair," he said as he closed the door behind him.

Victoria huffed. She wasn't so sure she didn't. Now, there was a disturbing thought. And another argument for not having long hair. Imagine looking like a mini-Snape? Victoria shuddered and stepped back into the shower.

Twenty minutes later she crawled into her new bed with very clean and damp hair, having hastily said goodnight to Snape who was reading something in the kitchen. She tossed and turned for ages. It was weird to think she was this happy about having _Snape_ as a father. But it wasn't like Snape was ideal in her eyes either. He yelled way to much and he got upset over everything. He even... But then she heard the doorknob turn and quickly closed her eyes before the dim light from the hallway crept into the room. She could hear Snape stepping inside. She wished she hadn't automatically closed her eyes because now she'd have to fake sleep to perfection. Yeah, he might well have said something if he came and she was still awake but opening her eyes now wold be embarrassing. He just stood there. Didn't make a sound. Victoria wished she could see him. What was he doing? After a moment which felt like it dragged on forever she felt the covers being tucked tightly around her and then the man left, closing the door behind him.

 _Oh, well, he isn't all that bad._

 **TBC**


	32. Breeze blowing

**A/N!: A MESSAGE!**

 **Hello all! As some of you may know from my profile or from correspondance or my works on other sites - I have struggled with longterm illness since August of 2016. During the majority of this period I was unable to write for which I apologize. Since I had no finished chapter to upload I did not know how else to let you know! I shan't bore you with further details about my personal life (You're not here for that) but suffice to say I began a new treatment in early spring and am getting steadily better which will mean a return to fanfiction!**

 **About this chapter! It was written in tiny portions during moments of the afore-mentioned period where I felt especially bad for not updating and as a result it's pretty... well... Not my best work. I'm going to be honest with you. I just want this one out of the way. That way I can have a fresh start with a whole new chapter for you next update! Even so I hope you still enjoy it! I do not aim to disappoint but of course it cannot always be helped! I hope you all have a wonderful summer until we 'meet' again! ~ Livia Ethelind ^_^  
**

* * *

"I'm not sure about this," mumbled Victoria hesitantly as she paced outside the door. Professor McGonagall was sitting behind her and was reading some manner of report. This summer she had apparently been doing quite a bit of overtime as she not only had to deal with her usual mountain of work but also had to fill in for Dumbledore. This was just another interruption and Victoria felt rather guilty that she was the cause of all this. "I am sure you will do well, Harry," said the professor tiredly, never looking up from her reading material.

A few weeks had passed and to Victoria these had been arguably some of the strangest weeks of her life – and that was saying something. Ever since she'd gotten back from Hermione's house she'd settled in to Snape's quarters. There was a strange thought! The summer days seemed to fly by as she had been sending letters to Ron and Hermione almost every day. Ron was quite eager to come and see her but McGonagall didn't have the time to oversee them and Snape couldn't possibly seeing as Ron wasn't to know anything. Victoria _had_ asked him one night over dinner if she could go to Ron's house and see him but Snape had simply looked at her in a way that made her feel stupid for asking and rather sternly told his soup that after her misadventures with Hermione he didn't trust her off the Hogwarts grounds and that she should be glad that were all the consequences of it. Speaking of which, the wards around the grounds had been strengthened. This now meant no one but members of staff with wands could actually walk off or onto the grounds. That had caused a bit of trouble for Filch and Hagrid who had to be escorted but it meant that no one could sneak in and thus, upon the return of Madam Hooch from a minor vacation, meant that Victoria got permission to fly. Of course Snape didn't give it willingly. Victoria had been brought to lunch in the Great Hall and there Madam Hooch and McGonagall had decided Victoria could fly on the Quidditch pitch with Hooch watching. Snape of course could say nothing without blowing his cover. Later he muttered that she might as well fly lest he had to suffer her whining all summer. They seemed to be falling into a sort of routine. They would have their meals silently (though not through any fault of hers) in the dungeons. Occasionally she'd go to the Great Hall for lunch and conversation. She'd read in the library or work on her summer assignments. When Madam Hooch had the time or was working of something at the pitch Victoria would fly. She'd taken to following Hagrid around quite a bit and on occasion professor Sprout as she tended to the plants in the green houses. She only really worried about observing the rather mysterious man who happened to be her father and try not to get into trouble with anyone. She hadn't thought about anything because she hadn't wanted to.

"I don't know. What if.." said Victoria quietly as she nervously bit her index finger. McGonagall's papers were then lowered and the professor gave her a stern but exhausted look. "It will be fine. It needs to be done and you know that very well. Stick to what you've practised and you will be fine."

She'd practised all right. Snape had paced back and forth all yesterday evening and quizzed her on her story and she felt like she was right back in his classroom – well, technically she _was_ in his classroom but the nervousness and feeling of being completely lost that she remembered so well from classes made an appearance. Especially because now for the first time since those initial lessons she actually wanted to answer correctly. Still, Snape provided no praise. Simply, the constant reminder of the importance of what they were doing.

"Minerva, I think we are ready to begin!" said the Headmaster as he appeared from a doorway. Victoria gulped. She followed McGonagall into a well-lit room where a small table and two chairs were set out. The occupant of one of them rose from his seat to great them. He appeared to be a man in his late 20's with sleek brown hair, a rather scruffy green coat and an excited smile.

"Professor McGonagall!" he exclaimed as he eagerly shook the older witch's hand. "And this must be... Miss Evans? Miss Evans! Oh, I cannot describe what a delight it is to finally meet the boy.. erh.. the girl-who-lived!"

"Calm yourself, Mr Linnet," said McGonagall. "We do not have all day and I'm certain you are eager to begin." Victoria remained quiet as a clam while she studied the man's rather sincere looking face. Snape had told her he'd be a former Gryffindor and a young man McGonagall had personally vouched for – although Snape did not not look like that weighed anything with him. "Of course! Of course!" replied Mr Linnet and retreated to the table where Victoria noticed a stack of parchment with a strange yellow quill which appeared to be standing on its tip unaided. "You have half an hour. I trust that will be sufficient," said McGonagall and nodded before she headed for the door.

"Won't you sit down?" asked Mr Linnet. "Sure," nodded Victoria and took the other seat. "I'm sorry," said the clearly flustered man. "I'm rather new to this." He smiled at her and Victoria found herself more curious than nervous. "Aren't you a journalist?" she questioned.

"Well, yes," he shrugged. "Only I don't really do interviews that often. Mostly... Sports. I'm freelance," he said as though he was apologising for it.

"Quidditch?" asked Victoria, now completely comfortable with Mr Linnet though that might be his intention. He had to be at least 28. At least! _I wonder if he was at Hogwarts while mum and Snape was there?_ She wasn't entirely sure how old Snape was at this point to be honest.

"Yes, exactly," replied Mr Linnet. "Shall we begin? Miss Evans, it comes as quite a shock to us all! To your knowledge how did these extraordinary events unfold?" said Mr Linnet as the quill suddenly began moving of its own accord.

Victoria wasn't sure how long it had been before McGonagall entered to room to announce that time was up. She sat through the entire interview pinching her thigh as she struggled to remember the details of her story. How her stepfather had made an error, how no one noticed, how she was raised as a boy.

"Why did your relatives make that decision?" Mr Linnet had questioned her.

"Well, they aren't exactly very rational people," replied Victoria as she struggled to get out the word _rational._ "They didn't want me to be a witch either. In fact they tried very hard to prevent me from attending Hogwarts. I guess they preferred a boy."

Mr Linnet nodded and the quill scribbled. Victoria wasn't quite sure who came up with that angle but she had no problem portraying the Dursleys as rather off. And it wasn't completely untrue. She continued to explain that she had not spoken up earlier as she wasn't aware that there was anything wrong with it and thought that she was expected to live this way. All in all she was painting the picture of a poor unfortunate girl, stuck with strange muggles who had been liberated. Again, not untrue. Snape had said multiple times that the closer they could stick to the truth, the more convincing her few lies would be. The wizarding community held a large number of people who already believed muggles were backwards and uninformed and they would believe her. Before leaving, Mr Linnet took a photograph of Victoria standing next to professor McGonagall to hand to the Daily Prophet when he submitted the article. The following day it appeared on the front page. Victoria watched her own unsure face staring back from newspaper hiding Snape's face.

* * *

Sybill Patricia Trelawney rarely found herself confused by anything other than the people around her. She was confused as to why they did not believe, why they would not open themselves and why it was so hard for them to take her seriously. She was after all from a line of seers, many of whom had been legendary. Her great-great-grandmother Cassandra Trelawney had been celebrated but no one seemed to see the true potential of Sybill except for Albus Dumbledore and even he had taken some time to convince. She remembered with some amusement how he had seemingly turned during her interview. She was certain he had been in the middle of dismissing her - yes he had! And then suddenly – she couldn't remember clearly why, he had offered her the position. Albus Dumbledore confused her greatly. After employing her he had spoken with her from time to time but for the most part she had been allowed to remain in her tower alone which suited her very well. This summer however things had changed and she was very surprised to have him knocking on her door just as she was about to turn in for the night one evening.

She looked at the suitcases on her table which had not yet been unpacked. She did not enjoy travelling. The Headmaster knew that very well. She did not enjoy working much either – she hoped he did not know that. She did not understand the task she had been set. He probably knew that. She did not like to be kept in the dark – she was a seer after all! And he had asked her not to come down again until start of term. She would not have liked to anyway but she still felt rather slighted by it none the less – even if he had assured her it was not because they did not want her. There was something... Sybill had a feeling she should understand what this was about but it was lost in the whirlwind of her thoughts.

* * *

Victoria was alone in a room that had become her own much too quickly because she had never had one before it. The stillness of the castle above her seemed to be somehow filling her ears. She was acutely aware of every empty hallways and, she imagined, every wandering mouse and floating ghost. She was seated on her bed with her legs drawn up and her back against the wall. She was staring into the darkness around her. She was shaking.

These last weeks had been a blur to her and she did not know what to make of it all. She felt left behind somehow. Like the world had moved too fast for her liking. Everything had been so chaotic and new and scary and terrible and wonderful and confusing and... And it was like she had been faced with one major decision after another without ever really having time time to comprehend to magnitude of everything that was happening to her. But this evening something had happened which sent it all crashing back down on her. She had been obliged to eat by herself as Snape said he had work to do and when Victoria had asked him why she could not just go to the Great Hall to eat, he had replied in passing that the other professor had work to do too as the students would be arriving the day after tomorrow. It had to be past midnight now. In the early hours of the last day she had before the other students would arrive. She was scared. No, scratch that! She was terrified.

Firstly, the was the matter of actually having to look everyone in the eyes – _like this._ She knew she would have Hermione there and Ron too but... What about everyone else. She gulped and slowly swayed back and forth. People where going to make so much fun of her. She just knew it. Or worse! They were going to stare at her and whisper. She had already experienced that once when she first came to Hogwarts. She had been constantly looking over her shoulder and fearing that she might know her secrets. And know that was going to repeat itself all over again. She would have different secrets and their reason for whispering would not be her fame but her freakishness. And what about Malfoy?

That brought her to the second thing. She knew something her best friends did not. She knew that the adults had basically insisted on resorting her without her having any say in it and the stupid mouldy hat had betrayed her! If Victoria had been within firing range of that hat right now she would have burned it to ashes and made good of her threat from her first year. She clenched her fists. That hat _knew_ she wanted to be a lion! It should not be allowed to do it over! And what was her friends going to say? Would they even talk to her? Would anyone? It was enough to make her sick. In fact it did. Her stomach hurt and she felt like she was going to throw up but she could not tell whether it was only due to her discomfort or whether staying up so late also played a part. And worst of all. She had said they were going to make her go up with the first years to prove that the hat had really made that decision. Victoria did not know when she finally fell asleep but at one point she became too exhausted and sleep she did.

* * *

"You're unusually quiet." Victoria glared at her cereal. It was a stupid remark. They never spoke when they ate and she had given up on trying. "I'm eating," she replied sullenly. There was a rustle of paper from the other side of the table. "Mhmm," Snape replied. There was silence for a moment as Victoria moved the now milk soaked and completely gross cereal around with her spoon as she had done for the last five minutes. "Where were you yesterday?" Victoria did not look up. What did he care anyway? She was allowed to walk around on here own now. "Nowhere. Just around." She replied, not wanting to discuss what she had actually spent the day doing – worrying and hiding. "Mhmm." The was another long moment of silence. Then suddenly the paper came down with a whoosh.

"If you are going to act like this you may take it to your room!" Snape snapped. "Act like what? I didn't say anything!" Victoria replied. For a moment Snape looked like he was about to say something but then decided against it and simple rose from the table, replying: "I expect you dressed and ready for the feast by four pm. I do not want to have to wait for you. The house elves should have placed your new uniform in your room."

Why could she not just say it? 'I don't want to do this. Don't make me.' She had already protested once. And loudly at that. What was any different about it now? She rose from the table and abandoned the cereal sludge as Snape made for the living room. "I don't want to." Well, that came out sounding about as confident as a mouse at a catnip convention. Snape just paused in the doorway with his back turned to her.

"This is not up for discussion," Snape stated blankly. "Finish your breakfast."

"But that's not fair!" Victoria objected. "I want to stay with my friends!" Snape sighed deeply and turned around to face her. "I've already gone over this. I am not comfortable with the amount of control the Headmaster would have over you in that house. Slytherin is by far the best option as I can keep watch over you myself and it means fewer people involved. Furthermore the hat agreed to place you there."

"But I'm not a Slytherin! The Slytherins don't even like me!" Victoria replied in frustration. "They will accept you," Snape replied shortly. "Now stop with the hysterics. I am confident that with you in my own house I may make a decent witch of you yet."

Victoria was pretty certain Snape was not joking. "I don't want to be in your house! And I'm not wearing that uniform." She cried. Snape froze. There was something in his eyes and for a moment, just a moment, Victoria felt a little bad about yelling it like that. It looked a bit like disappointment but not quite. Whatever it was Snape did not dwell upon it. "You will be dressed by four. I shall be very displeased if you disobey me." Then he turned around and left to do whatever it was greasy gits did in their offices on such days. Victoria stormed back into her room. She did not fail to see a uniform lying on her desk chair – neatly folded. To her surprise it was not the emerald green she had expected but rather the standard uniform first years were issued with up to their sorting – carrying only the Hogwarts logo and purple instead of a house colour. But that did not make it any better. She threw herself on the bed and hit and kicked the covers. The thought did enter her mind to run away and not attend the ceremony at all. She even managed to entertain a whole little fantasy of flying off the exotic lands and thereby teach them all a lesson. But for one thing the wards had not been lifted yet and she could not physically leave the grounds. For another she was fairly sure that if she did manage to get as far as Hogsmeade Snape would come find her and quite possibly drag her back by the ear. And considering the fact that he had actually smacked her the last time she ran away from him Victoria was not keen on trying her luck. An awful mental picture of Snape telling her off in a similar manner in front of the rest of the students appeared and although Victoria was fairly sure he could not do that even if he did not have an act to keep up she was not quite able to shake it.

The clocked ticked away metaphorically as the clock which could be found in Victoria's room did not make any sound. Victoria had slept a little bit but had gone off her bed for more than a few minutes to use the bathroom. She found she had little interest in her books and most just lay there. Therefore she did not know what time it was when there was a knock on her door. "Victoria? Are you decent?" Snape called through the door. The girl he was referring to planted her face in her pillow and did not reply. "Victoria?" There was another knock and the door creaked open. Footsteps and the silence.

"Get up." Victoria did not move. Instead she pressed her face harder into her pillow. The next thing she knew she felt thin fingers grabbing her upper arm and pulling her off the bed and to her feet while Victoria struggled to remain where she was. She opened her mouth to say a few choice words to Snape but instead she yelped as Snape released her only to grab her again by the ear.

"What time is it?" he hissed icily, his large nose very close to Victoria's face. "Ugh! Ow! I don't know! Let go of me!" Snape did not let go. Instead he pulled her along out of her room and along to the bathroom. "I explicitly told you to be ready at four!" Snape growled. He did release her as soon as they were in the bathroom and Victoria's hand immediately went to cover her poor ear.

"You have exactly ten minutes to shower and then I expect you in your room changing! I want you in the galleries before the students arrive and I would have thought you would much prefer that to walking through an entrance hall full of them!" Victoria looked at him, shocked that he would actually get this upset about her being late and furious because... Well, she was anyway! She crossed her arms in a very clear signal that she did not approve being told off.

"You do not want to test my patience. Ten minutes." Snape marched out, slamming the door behind him. "Shut up," Victoria mumbled at the door but although she halfway expected bat-eared Snape to rush back and say something nothing happened. And Victoria did do as she had been instructed though she took great care to shower as defiantly as possible – which involved her having to figure out what on earth that entailed. She made sure to stomp her feet as much as she could when she finally made her from the bathroom to her bedroom, wrapped in a towel. She had actually debated putting on one of the two dresses in her closet over her shirt but decided against it eventually simply putting on a pair of dark jeans and a white shirt before eyeing the robes.

* * *

About twenty minutes later Severus returned to Victoria's door. He had spent several minutes pacing in his office, trying to calm down and hoping that Victoria did as instructed. He had lost his temper... again. But that infernal child was not making it easy for him! Merlin, what had he been thinking! How was he supposed to be any kind of parent to her if he could not even make through one altercation without flying into the red? Why did he have to go get... feelings? This would have been so much easier of they could have simply shipped her off to some family as was originally the plan! Why did he have to create such a mess for himself'! Why did he have to care? But he did and now there was nothing he could do about it.

She got to him. Even if he did not care to admit it. And that was the cause of all this. Yes, he was only trying to protect her as best her could and he did not expect her understand it nor did he expect her to be grateful – she certainly had not been before. And he was perfectly aware he could not expect a twelve year old to understand that her safety was more importantly than her being able to share a common room with the rest of the trio. But when she so furiously stated she did not want to be a Slytherin he could not help but partly take it as a dismissal of him. It was his house. It had always been a part of him and he could never imagine having been anywhere else. Yes, it had ruined him in many ways by who it connected him to but Severus did not deny who he was or what he had done. Not did he deny the attributes the placed him in that house. Perhaps a part of him wanted to see a Slytherin in her because a part of him wanted to see some of himself in her. Ever since he met her he had thought she was clone of James in looks as well as personality. Now that he knew what he knew he was able to see Lily's fire in her. Yes, it was Lily's daughter all right. But so far, blood and dwellings were all they shared.

This time he simply knocked. There was no answer so he turned the doorknob. "Go away!" it sounded from the other side. "Excuse me!?" Severus growled as he opened the door. "Consider yourself excused!" the girl retorted. She was sitting at the desk, in the robes as instructed. Her pointy hat was lying on the desk and she was running her fingers through her short hair. She glanced up at him when he entered, clearly not having expected him to enter without permission.

"I see you managed to follow directions although I _strongly_ advise you to drop the attitude," Severus observed. "We may talk before we leave. You may have tea if you wish." He was being pretty short with her but he as far as he was concerned he was being patience personified.

"I'm not going," she mumbled through her hand. Severus could feel a migraine coming. "I've explained the situation to you and I have nothing more to say about that. If your friends are anything resembling true friends they will care little what house you are in. Believe it or not – it is perfectly possible for a Slytherin and a Gryffindor to be best friends," Severus sneered. "And even if you should have any problems – which I doubt, I'm certain you find plenty of friends in your new house."

"I'm _not_ a Slytherin! And I'm not going to be friends with any of them! Ever!" Victoria hissed in return and spun to glare at him. Severus felt as though she had just punched him. There was that bit if her that Snape could not attribute to either himself nor Lily. The part that reminded him of James. A for a moment, just a moment, his front dropped and emotions flooded his eyes. And the girl must have noticed the change in him somehow because she just looked at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." she said, searching for the words. "That is... I'm sure your house is... _fine_ and all but."

"Come here," Severus finally said, his voice steely to compensate for his brief flash of emotion. The girl did not hesitate to jump off the chair. "I am done arguing over this," he said. "I don't expect you to be a model Slytherin – in fact I see no Slytherin traits in you whatsoever. That hat may think otherwise but personally I don't consider your particular brand of greatness to be the Slytherin kind. You will still be who you are nothing can change that. You say you are a lion. You are a blasted lion. But I am not going place you in a situation where you may be easily taken advantage of by people with agendas far beyond your understanding. Now if you are quite done with your tantrum..." Victoria grabbed her hat and followed Severus saying nothing at all. He was quite pleased with that result as he did not have the energy for another shouting match and could not vouch for his actions if one such occurred. Besides he was pretty much out of ideas anyway of how to deal with this one. Lying through his teeth had seemed the easiest way out.

 **TBC...**


	33. Resorting to resorting

**A/N: You all knew this was coming.**

* * *

She was alone in the galleries. All around her the castle buzzed with life as first the entrance hall and then the great hall filled with students. Last year she had arrived after most of the school along with the other first years and so had never before experienced what it was like when the silent castle filled with children once again in September. Before this summer the castle had always been a vast vibrant place to her – with people everywhere and always something going on. It had taken her a while to get used to the empty summertime castle and being the only student around. She had, however, and it had become almost homely in that time even if it was lonely. But you would think escaping the company of her professors – and others, would be welcomed relief. It was not. She was not in the least bit happy. As the dull buzzing of chatter grew so did the horrible feeling in her stomach. It was like someone had turned on a vacuum cleaner down there and was Hoovering out in sense of calm she had. Every last on of them was just another person to judge her and stare at her.

A door creaked open to her left. "Miss Evans," said professor McGonagall. She was wearing her usual 'stern but fair' look which earned the respect of so many. Victoria placed the pointy black hat on her head and shuffled after the deputy headmistress. She knew perfectly well she could not start an argument with McGonagall – and she did not think she would win it either way. She sighed audibly. Perhaps in the hope that McGonagall would stop walking and turn around to tell her she had personally spoken to the hat and made sure it was sending her back from where she came but the professor did not even acknowledge it. Instead she opened another door and stepped inside and Victoria followed her faithfully, not noticing the myriad of voices hushing each other before it was too late. She looked up and was met by several widened eyes. The group of first years was huddled together closely. All of them were watching McGonagall and Victoria closely as though they were tigers about to pounce on them. "Miss Evans, if you please," said McGonagall and gently pushed Victoria over to the group. A small redheaded girl glanced at Victoria and immediately hid begin another student. She kept her eyes on the stone floor as best she could. Whispers were beginning to arise from the back but at least a few students – muggleborns, she assumed, were more interested in the tall witch than whoever the weird student was.

"In a moment you will all follow me to the great hall where you will be sorted into your houses. Your house will be like you family while you are here at school," professor McGonagall began. Victoria was not particularly interested. She had heard it all before and she was none to pleased to have to listen to it again. "They are: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw," said McGonagall and sent a stern glare at a mousy haired girl who squeaked loudly. "Hufflepuff and Slytherin." Victoria bit the inside of her cheek. She was not smart enough for Ravenclaw or at least she did not think so but maybe she could beg the hat for Hufflepuff if it would not let her have Gryffindor? McGonagall had evidently completed her speech while Victoria had not been paying attention. "Follow me," she said firmly and gave Victoria a pointed look as if daring her to try slipping away. McGonagall left the room for the entrance hall with a long tail of first years behind her. Victoria purposely fell to the back as if that really did any difference. The doors to the great hall opened and another wave of discomfort washed over Victoria as she heard the student body inside falling silent in anticipation.

Never had the great hall felt so huge. Victoria was pretty sure every singly student had grown at least five extra sets of eyes over the summer because it certainly felt like it. She could feel their eyes upon her but she could not bear to look up at them. The whispering seemed to come from everywhere. "Is that _her?_ " Someone said. "Did you hear?" And: "How is that even possible?" She wanted to see Hermione but she could not bear to look at the rest of her house and see their confusion so she did not dare look for her. Nor dared she look at any other house. She could not decide if Malfoy was dying of shock or having the time of his life right now.

They all stopped in front of the head table and Victoria bumped into the redheaded girl who had hid from her earlier due to not looking up which only resulted in the girl fleeing to the front. "When I call your names, please step forward!" said McGonagall and held up the hat. "Ainsley, Michelle!" And small curly-haired girl was ushered forward by the crowd around her and trembling made her way to the seat. McGonagall placed the hat on her head, which as Victoria had suspected fell down over her entire head. There was a moments silence. "RAVENCLAW!" called the hat and the girl jumped down and skipped to the cheering Ravenclaw table. 'Bambach, Theosophina', 'Bhargava, Alexander' and 'Creevey, Colin' came next – Hufflepuffs and Gryffindor respectively and so on and on it went.

"Leseley, Acacia!" called McGonagall. The mousy-haired girl who has squeaked earlier skipped forward cheerfully and crawled onto the chair. She managed to wave enthusiastically at what looked like a fifth year Ravenclaw boy with equally mousy hair before the hat fell down and obscured her face. It had not been on her head very long before it called out: "SLYTHERIN!" The Slytherin table erupted in cheers but when McGonagall removed the hat the girl sat there with a look of absolute shock on her face. McGonagall had to nudge her of the chair. The girl burst into tears as she ran down to the Slytherin table. Victoria felt for her. She really did. But she was too busy wondering why she seemed to be getting saved for last. Meanwhile McGonagall continued by calling 'Lovegood, Luna' to the front. By now Victoria was bleeding from biting her own cheek. They were nearing the end of the line and plenty of students had gone to either house.

Now only Victoria, the little redheaded girl and a raven haired boy with an incredibly neat haircut that reminded Victoria of 1950's pictures were left standing there. "Weasley, Ginevra!" called McGonagall and the little girl hurried up, glancing nervously at Victoria. "GRYFFINDOR!" cried the hat, having barely touched the girl's hair. Weasley? Victoria felt like such an idiot. She had seen that same girl before! They day she first took the train to Hogwarts! This was Ron's little sister. "Xiao, Michael!" called the professor and the boy next to Victoria stepped up. This time is took a minute or too. "SLYTHERIN!" cried the hat finally and the boy hurried to the cheering snakes. Then quickly, much too quickly the entire hall fell silent. The tension in the room made it hard to breathe. "Evans, Victoria," said McGonagall and looked straight at her. Victoria trembled. She wanted to turn around and run but she knew she would not make it to the doors so she slowly stepped forward. McGonagall's face was all business and instead Victoria looked up to the head table. Dumbledore was looking straight at her with such intensity that she quickly averted her eyes and instead looked for Snape. He was there but he was not looking at her at all. Instead he was keeping a close watch on the Slytherin table. However, someone else caught her eyes. Professor Flitwick was smiling gently at her and nodded thus urging her onward.

Shaking, she sat on the stool and then the world disappeared as the hat fell down over her eyes. _"So... Here we are again, eh?"_ Said the voice of the hat inside her head. "Please," whispered Victoria. "I belong in Gryffindor." The hat seemed to... chuckle at that? _"Indeed? As I recall, last time you were here you also believed you knew better than I did,"_ replied the hat. "In fact you threatened to burn me. But this time, the Headmaster has assured me you will get no opportunity to do any such thing." Victoria blushed in the darkness. Had the hat really told Dumbledore what she said? "Not Slytherin! Please!" she pleaded. _"Again with this?"_ replied the hat pensively. "I'm sorry I said that! I didn't mean it! I just... Please! Anything! Hufflepuff? Ravenclaw? Please don't put me with _them!_ I don't belong in Slytherin!" Victoria was becoming acutely aware of the fact that once again the rest of the room was just watching her sitting there with nothing happening. _"Ah, Miss Evans, you would do well to beware of prejudice. I know who you are and what you can amount to. I am certain you will discover it for yourself."_

"No, wait!" Victoria urged the hat but it was too late. "SLYTHERIN!" the hat cried loudly so there would be no mistake as to what it was saying. McGonagall took the hat off of Victoria's head. The great hall was silent as a tomb. There was not even the slightest amount of cheer from the Slytherin table. It seemed like everyone was frozen in shock – including Victoria herself. For the first time she spotted Ron and Hermione at the Gryffindor table. Ron looked almost a sickly green and Hermione seemed to be incredibly confused. "Ahem," said McGonagall. "Miss Evans, please join your house mates so we may begin the feast." That effectively seemed to wake up the student because all at once chatter erupted so suddenly Victoria stumbled as she got off the chair. Probably sensing her overwhelming urge to run to the exit, McGonagall took hold of her wrist and escorted her to the Slytherin table as Dumbledore stood up and announced that the feast was officially begun, causing the food to appear on the tables. Victoria, in an attempt to get as far away from everyone as she could, sat at the end of the table next to the sobbing mousy-haired first year. She, at least, had to understand how Victoria was feeling. The raven-haired boy was sitting across from her and poking a piece of chicken with his fork. A tall female prefect hurried down along the table to the first years. "Right," she said firmly as she tried to brush her incredibly curly hair out of her face. "Well done, everyone! Erm..." she continued as she glanced at Victoria. "Professor Snape is going to welcome you all before you go to your common room so once we've finished eating follow me!" The first years mumbled in response and the girl clearly took that as confirmation that they understood her because she nodded stiffly and left, her hair bouncing for every step.

"Why are you sitting here?" said the raven-haired boy – Xiao, Victoria thought his name was. She looked up from her empty plate. Honestly she was wondering the same thing. "Huh?" she just said, unable to come up with anything better. "Aren't you a second year?" the boy pressed. "Oh," she replied, having been fairly sure he was about to insult her. "Yeah, I am. I just..." She glanced towards Draco Malfoy who was whispering something to Pansy Parkinson. She most certainly was not going to sit there. "Stop that!" the boy snapped and Victoria turned in confusion until she realised he was not talking to her but to the sobbing girl next to her. She lifted her head, her hazel eyes filled with tears and anger. "No, _you_ shut up, you dirty snake!" she cried. "I'm not supposed to be here!"

Victoria tried to remember what the girl's name was but she could not. "Hey, I... I think the hat is just stupid," she offered. The girl blinked at her. "Yeah..." She replied. "You were... You w-were in G-gryffindor, weren't you?" The girl sniffed. Victoria nodded. She could not bear to look over there. She could only imagine what they must be thinking right then. "You're Harry Potter?" Victoria shrugged. "Victoria Evans," she replied bitterly. Harry Potter almost seemed like another person entirely now. "Acacia Leseley," the girl said and offered Victoria her hand. The boy opposite them huffed. Victoria took the offered hand nervously. "Leseley? I think... I think I've read about your family. Do you live near Kitty's Creek?" Victoria inquired. Acacia nodded. "I'm supposed to be over there," she said and pointed to the Ravenclaw table where the mousy-haired boy she had waved to earlier quickly looked away. "Everyone in my family was," she said, breaking into sobs once again.

"There's nothing wrong with Slytherin!" hissed the boy whose entire name Victoria now recalled to be Michael Xiao. "Look, she's not bothering you by thinking otherwise – so clam it!" Victoria replied. "Well, it's your house too! And you should be proud, you know! Not just anyone can get into Slytherin!" He argued. "It's not that easy to get out of either," Victoria mumbled. "Are you guys going to keep arguing or will you pass me the sauce?" intervened another boy. "Mind you own business, Harper!" replied Michael but he passed the sauce none the same. The meal continued in absolute silence – among the Slytherin first years anyway. Victoria almost fell backward when after 10 minutes or so, a lump of bread and four potatoes soared onto her plate. She glanced at the head table along with Acacia and found Madam Pomfrey with her wand out and a stern look upon her face. In defiance Victoria made a point out of mashing the potatoes thoroughly with her fork before she ate any of it.

The moment the feast was announced to be over both Acacia and Victoria flew up from their seats. Students were already beginning to file out and Victoria wanted to get to Hermione and Ron before they disappeared. Acacia too seemed eager to reach someone as she frantically searched for the Ravenclaw boy only to find him already leaving the room – making his way through a bunch of first years being lead out by Penelope Clearwater and Robert Hilliard. "Pyrus!" Acacia cried. "Wait up! Pyrus, wait!" But the boy who was probably her brother either did not hear her or ignored her all together. Victoria was more fortunate as Hermione went straight for her. "Harry! Are you all right?" she cried. Victoria began to clumsily explain the whole resorting thing but Hermione waved her off. "I know. Dumbledore announced it before you came in. It's just... This can't be right," she said. "You did not change personality."

Victoria gulped. "No, I don't know. I think they made a mistake." She was not about to admit that the hat had wanted to put her in Slytherin all along. She felt like such a fraud. Not only was she a different gender from what she had told people but she was lying about who the hat thought she was too. "Maybe something is going on," she said indicating the Slytherin table, most of which were watching them. "Where's Ron?" said Victoria, not wanting to let Hermione know that it in fact _was_ planned – by the teachers at least. "Oh," Hermione said, looking around. "He's just... A little surprised. We all are. It's a lot, you know." Victoria began frantically searching the crowd for him. "Harry! Don't! He'll... He just need to think about it. All right? It's going to be fine! Just..."

"There you are! What part of 'follow me' did you not understand?" said the curly-haired Slytherin prefect as she grabbed hold of Victoria, already holding Acacia with the other hand. "I'll see you tomorrow, Harry," said Hermione – giving her a weak smile as Victoria and Acacia were lead away.

* * *

"Miss Farley, you're late," said Snape coldly as the prefect and her companion ushered the first years and Victoria through the door. "'Sorry, Professor," she replied meekly and glared at Acacia. Not taking any further notice of the prefects, Snape continued: "You have all been sorted into Slytherin this evening and tonight before you begin your life here at Hogwarts I will be going over a few things that will be expected of you as a result. Firstly, you will be expected to follow school rules. While you are here you represent your house and I will not permit you to dishonour it. Reflect badly on this house and you will receive additional punishment from me and mark my words, you do not want to find yourself in that position."

Snape was looking at them intensely, gliding around like a big black vampire. Victoria found it hard to take the man seriously. Somehow he seemed less scary to her now that he had hugged her once – well, sort of hugged her anyway. But it seemed to be doing the trick with the first years who were looking like they were scared to breathe. "Secondly, there are additional inter-house rules which you will find posted on the notice board in your common room. Read them. From this day forward you will be held accountable to them." So far Victoria did not think this was much of a 'welcome'. All they had had was Percy bossing them around on the first night. Why would Snape bother? Really, it rather seemed like he wanted to scare them on the first night. "You may leave," Snape concluded. "Miss Evans, you may remain and you will be escorted to your chambers."

The whole flock was silent as Farley and the other prefect guided them out. Acacia looked back at Victoria and she almost felt bad for not going with her but what was the point? She was not even in the same dormitory anyway. The moment the door closed behind the last first year Victoria expected Snape to say something. He did not. Instead he sat down at his desk and searched through a stack of papers. She could not help but glare at his greasy hair. He just about ruined her life with that stupid resorting and he was not even going to say anything?

 _"Ahem!"_ she coughed. "It's late. Go to bed unless you would rather join your house mates," Snape commented without looking up. "Yeah, well, I don't know the password to Gryffindor tower," she snapped, crossing her arms. Snape's hands froze. He looked at her briefly and then shook his head. "We are not discussing this. Go to bed." Victoria walked over to the bookshelf and pulled at the correct book, causing the invisible door to appear. She paused with her hand on the doorknob. "You made it do that. It wouldn't listen to me!" she suddenly said. Snape sighed. "Go to bed. I am tired and you clearly want to argue with me. I am not discussing this with you until you can have a calm conversation about it." Offended by his dismissal of it and aware of her own inability to argue with that, she opened the door and hurried to her room.

 **TBC - Cookies for all who remember the Leseleys!  
**


	34. Solitary Existence

**AN: I own nothing, make nothing. I'll try to update as often as I can. This story is one of the first I wrote and it shows - so it's a bit of change to dive back into but I shall do my best!**

* * *

Waking up was wonderful. Wonderful, because in those brief moments where Victoria's eyes blinked away slumber and cloudy dreamlands she was still half asleep and not aware of yesterday's troubles. But it was unpleasant when she turned her head to the side and saw the green and silver uniform which had appeared there on her chair. Barely had she sat up in bed before there was a firm knock on her door and Snape's voice shortly announcing that breakfast would be served in the great hall in little more than half an hour. Without giving much thought to how she had managed to wake up before her morning summoning, she slid off the bed, shivering slightly from leaving her warm covers behind.

Everything leading up to leaving for the great hall happened in silence. Snape was nowhere to be found once she left the bathroom and quite frankly Victoria was not in the mood for 'talking' to him either. Or perhaps she was and that was the problem. She felt dirty. Like the uniform on her was slimy. She did not even bother looking in the mirror because she knew she would not like what she saw. As she walked up from the dungeons, having taken care not to be seen leaving through Snape's office she kept her eyes on the stone floor all the way to avoid making eye contact with anyone she might pass along the way. As she neared the doors there were more and more people surrounding her and quite a lot of buzzing going on. She did not look up until she entered the great hall. People around her were shushing each other and Victoria blinked as the first thing that happened was a sharp light flashing as some small boy with a camera jumped up and took her photo.

"Harry Potter?" said the small boy with huge enthusiasm. "I mean... Evans. I'm..." But Victoria had no intention of learning the small boy's name. Instead she glanced over at the table he had come from – the Gryffindor table. The meal had not begun yet. Ron was sitting there trying very much to look like he was not just looking at her and Dean and Seamus were eagerly having a hushed conversation, pausing only to stare at her. Neither of them looked pleased. Hermione was sitting next to Ron looking awfully cross. Victoria was torn between begging Ron to understand that she did not want this either or punching him for thinking that she was really a snake. She had not made up her mind as to which one she was going to do when she hastily marched over to the Gryffindor table. The new first years cowered as she came near as if she was coming to eat them.

 _"Ron!"_ she said firmly, landing her hands on the table through the opening created by Seamus and Dean scooting as far away from her as they could without turning into mash in the process. "I need to talk to you!"

"Well, I don't want to talk," muttered Ron who was still not looking at her. "Go back to _your_ table!"

"You're not even giving me a chance to explain! You're such a git, Ron!"

"Still better than what you are," Ron retorted, his cheeks flushing red.

"Stop it! Stop it both of you!" Hermione hissed. It was clear she was not pleased with either of them. "You're making a scene!" But Victoria would not listen at this very moment. She had every right to be angry at Ron and demand an explanation for his betrayal of her. She did not choose this. _She_ had not done anything to him.

"Do you think this is fun for me? Do you think I had a choice?" she snapped.

"No... It's about what you are," said Ron but his comments were slightly drowned out by Seamus loudly telling Victoria go away. She was furious. A temper flared that she did not know she had - or rather that she had never really acknowledged that she did have because she had never been able to act upon it except for a few instances like with the snake at the zoo. She was just about ready to crawl across the table to Ron and give him what for.

"Come over here and say that again!" she cried, too loudly. Her hands were clenched into fists and had she bothered to look around she would have seen that most students in the vicinity looked frightened.

"Evans," she heard a small voice say just behind her and Victoria felt a tug on her sleeve. She turned around to find the Leseley first year standing there with a worried look on her face.

"Oh, look! You've got minions!" laughed Seamus and Victoria glared in his direction for good measure. She wanted to finish the conversation but somehow she couldn't know that Acacia had broken the spell of her blind rage. Suddenly the eyes upon her felt like needles.

"I can't find a seat. They won't move for me," Acacia said indifferently, tugging once again on Victoria's sleeve. With a final glare that was really just meant for the general population of the Gryffindor table Victoria turned around and followed Acacia to the Slytherin table – not that she had much choice because the other girl did not release her sleeve until they arrived the section where the first years had settled down. There were clearly plenty of room to sit down.

"What was that about?" Victoria asked in annoyance as she realised Acacia was lying.

"Well done, Leseley," said Farley, the prefect Victoria had met the previous night. "And _you!_ As long as you wear those colours you don't start a public fight! You could have lost us points! On the _second_ night!"

"Gemma, I don't know why you bother," said the other prefect who was strolling down to them. "We all know she's going to cost us the housecup. What's the point?"

"She's still one of us," mumbled Gemma Farley but it seemed more like a defence of herself than of Victoria. "Besides, Patrick, I would have thought you be pleased – with her already making enemies with the lions and everything."

"Could be for show," the boy shrugged and turned to walk back to his seat. Meanwhile Victoria was sitting there very much considering letting her build up rage over Ron out on this Patrick fellow.

"Wait," suddenly said as something occurred to her. She got up from the bench and took a few steps towards Gemma Farley. "I have some questions! I was wondering... Can I talk to you... later?" Gemma's dark eyes shone with self importance which reminded Victoria of Percy although she suspected this prefect was no where near as nice as the Weasleys had been – if you could call him that. Clearly she felt that anyone coming to _her_ with their questions could not be completely daft. Farley nodded and mumbled a low 'later' before returning to her own seat. Victoria sat back down next to Acacia who was eating some cereal as though she had not just overheard everything. "Why do they think I'll cost them the housecup?" she asked the other girl.

"Because you'll lose points on purpose," said Michael sharply from across the table.

"How did they get that idea?" she replied, her eyes narrowing as she looked towards Malfoy.

"Because I told them," said Michael with an uninterested expression. "Or a few people at least. I told them you both will but they only seemed to care about you, Evans." Acacia's head snapped up, her eyes wide as saucers. Victoria blinked. "Don't look at me like that," Xiao demanded. "You were both saying last night that you hate this house. I'm just giving them a heads up, that's all."

"That's slander, slime ball!" cried Acacia, fear evident in her eyes.

"So sue me," replied Michael but Victoria was not so sure Acacia wouldn't.

"I hadn't thought of it, Xiao, but thanks for giving me ideas," muttered Victoria. They both knew that even speaking too loudly would have prefect Farley coming back down to them so instead of starting a proper argument the girls finished their breakfast sullenly while Michael Xiao poked his bun with a smug expression.

* * *

"Wait up! Farley!" The older Slytherin stopped in the hallway and looked at Victoria as she hurried up to her. Acacia Leseley was not far behind but honestly Victoria neither knew nor cared why the younger girl seemed to want to be near her.

"This couldn't wait until after classes?" Farley said firmly, her hands on her hips and her hair bouncing.

"Eh... no. That's just it. S... Professor Snape said there were additional rules in the common room and I was wondering if you could tell me what they are?"

Gemma Farley glared at a couple of Hufflepuffs who stuck around to listen in and so sent them on their way. "I don't have time for this. Go read it yourself. _If you can read._ "

"But... Wait!" Victoria was very aware she could have easily asked Acacia but she did not actually care about breaking rules. She knew that at some point she might actually have to go in there. And if that day ever came she would need someone bigger there to see that Malfoy and the goons did not tear her to shreds. By the looks of it – the other prefect would not lift a finger to help her so Farley was her best bet. "I just... I wanted to say it's not true... What Xiao said. We're not going to break the rules."

"I don't care what you do in private! I care what you do in public! I care what you're seen doing as a Slytherin. Honestly Evans, do you think you've given us any reason to believe you won't start trouble?" Farley spun around and continued down the hallway. Victoria swallowed.

* * *

Severus was readying himself for the final class of the day – and by that, he meant finding the most ominous expression he could. Already today he had twice overheard students daring to discuss Victoria over their work – and in _his_ class no less! It had to really be gripping the student body if it caused them to dare whisper during their brewing. Snape had given two detentions already for 'disrupting the class' and he was honestly about to loose it. At least Filch would be happy but that was really no consolation to anyone. The only comforting thought was the knowledge that he would not have Victoria's class until the following day. As the sixth year students began filing in, Severus wondered whether it would not just be easier to give the lot of them their P's on the first day so he would not have to look at them the rest of the year.

He was playing a very dangerous game. He knew that. Everything depended on the Headmaster. Severus owed him his life, his career – and even if it was hard to imagine his reputation could possibly be any worse, that as well. He could not risk the old man near her. The only reason he was tolerated now was because of her. Severus could see it now: The disgust in her eyes. The horror. And there would be nothing he could say once she knew that Severus had begged the Dark Lord only for Lily. The Headmaster knew. It was almost impossible to keep him in the dark. It frightened Severus to think that the only man who knew every horrible thing he had done also had every reason to turn Victoria against him. Well, it was not like they were friends in the first place. He honestly felt like he was trying to simultaneously bathe a cat and fight off wolves with a spoon.

"Professor? I was wondering if you have a moment?" said a sixth year Slytherin. Class had ended and Severus wanted nothing more than to get back to his chambers.

"Which part of 'Get out' did you not understand, Travis?" he sneered in reply as he placed vials in a box. Jason Travis elected not to act smart which any Slytherin knew to be suicide. Instead the boy came closer, followed by Gemma Farley and Julia Stanton.

"Well, sir... We were just wondering about... the new girl," Travis continued.

"Mr Travis, my office hours are posted on my office door and the board in your common room. If you are having trouble reading go to Madam Pomfrey at once." Severus continued to ignore them. It would not do to seem like he knew anything about Victoria and her placement.

"Yes sir, but it's just that.." Farley interjected.

"We're worried about the house cup," said Stanton. "What if she loses points on purpose?"

"Then that shall be my concern, not yours," Severus snapped. "I would advise you to leave my classroom at once or you'll be the ones losing points." Neither student really looked like they believed that Severus would take points from his own house - on the first day no less, but even so they understood a threat when they heard one and made for the door. It worried him. He, himself, would never have cared or at least openly cared what that sort thought but he knew Victoria did. As he was walking back towards his chambers to unload his work on his desk, he met with someone he had not expected to see.

"Severus? Do you have a moment?" said McGonagall.

"Minerva," Severus nodded stiffly as he unlocked the door to his office.

"So what's your take on it?" said McGonagall and closed the door behind them. "I had her in my class today."

"Behaving like an angel no doubt," he replied with a great deal of contempt which even if it seemed that way was not meant for Victoria but for his students who most certainly had not behaved according to him.

"She didn't say a word so I suppose so. Severus, they were talking. They did not even bother to lower their voices around her," McGonagall explained with a stern tone which was undoubtedly meant to warn Severus that his own tone was not appreciated. "But there's something else... It's about Sybill."

The Head of Slytherin placed his workload on the desk with little to no interest in what the older professor was saying. "Let me guess... She predicted Miss Evans' imminent death," he replied shortly.

"No, one of my fourth years apparently tossed a crystal ball through the window – that is not the point. I called on her to see that she was not drowning in her own tears and she told me something worrisome. Apparently Albus ordered her on vacation." There was a certain urgency in McGonagall's eyes which Severus did not quite understand. Yes, it was very rare that Trelawney left the school altogether but as far as he was concerned she should have been ordered on permanent holiday a long time ago. He was glad that she was rarely seen. The mere sight of her was an awful reminder. Sometimes it was easier to blame her for making the prophecy than himself for passing it on. Clearly disappointed by his lack of response, the lioness continued: "She stopped herself mid-sentence in the end. Severus, it was supposed to be some kind of secret. Albus, did not simply order her on vacation. He ordered her to go somewhere and do something specific. I don't know what, but it cannot be a coincidence that one of the very first things he does after hearing about Harry is to send off Sybill!"

Well, that Severus could see the urgency in. It had to be something to do with the prophecy Trelawney had once made about Victoria and the Dark Lord. But why? The prophecy was made already and Trelawney had no idea which way was up when she was not in the middle of making an actual prophecy. Could you change a prophecy? Severus had no idea. "We'll have to wait and see," was his reply.

* * *

She had had to walk back from herbology alone. At least Hermione had partnered up with her so she did not feel as shunned in class but professor Sprout had asked Hermione to stay afterwards – no doubt to praise her, and Victoria had been waved on her way. She did not go straight back to her room. The emptiness inside her was weighed her down. She could still hear their whispering and the unashamed comments. It seemed she was destined to be a freak anywhere she went. There was some time still until dinner would be served in the great hall and Victoria did not know what to do with herself. Normally she would have gone to her common room but that was back when a common room was a place of refuge to her. She was wandering the lesser trafficked hallways near a painting of Baldwin Bigwig – the wizard famous for identifying the 34 ways to accidentally explode a healing potion. Not even first years wandered here often as Bigwig was keen on given students potions advice and so most prefects warned their first years of him. Today he was snoring inside his cauldron – the tip of his long scorched beard hanging over the edge and so Victoria could think undisturbed. At least she thought so.

Snickering and footsteps could suddenly be heard behind and coming closer. Victoria's looked around desperately trying to find a route to an empty place but before she could make a decision Draco Malfoy and Vincent Crabbe rounded the corner. The two of them froze the moment they saw her. Crabbe looked confused as though he was really only mimicking Malfoy but the blonde boy looked as though he Victoria had jumped out at him. She instantly felt hyper aware of her own face and what it might be expressing in Malfoy's eyes and she was happy that she had not been crying. For a moment they stood like that and Victoria could practically see the wheels turning in Malfoy's head as he debated what to say or whether to say anything at all. Crabbe just looked lost. Malfoy's silence and indecision infuriated her. Why could no one treat her normally? Ron hated her now along with the rest of the school! Snape was housing her and giving her birthday presents! Dumbledore had gone weird! McGonagall was unprofessional around her! Hermione was lost and clearly uncomfortable. But snide comments and general douchiness was _normal_ for Malfoy!

 _'Say something! Come on!_ she found herself thinking. Was she really so desperate for normalcy that she actually wanted Malfoy to be a prat? But the fact that he too treated her differently despite hating her only hammered in the fact that she was abnormal. And as always with Malfoy, he did what would be least appreciated. With one last glance at her, he turned to Crabbe and said: "Let's go." Then both boys turned and walked in the opposite direction. Crabbe looked like he wanted to ask Malfoy a question – probably whether rain was wet or something like that but Malfoy shoved him with one arm and silenced the bigger boy. It was too much. And why? Did Malfoy think she was not worth having a go at anymore? Because everyone else was? Or maybe he just wouldn't be seen near her. Victoria exhaled not realising she had been holding her breath. Her eyes felt wet but the fire in her chest spoke of something other than sadness.

"Hey!" she cried and took a few steps after the boys. "Where are you going?" She was angry and at this very moment it felt like it was all Malfoy's fault – probably because he was the nearest person to blame.

Malfoy sighed. "What to you want, Potter?" he sneered as if she had interrupted something important. Victoria did not mind that he used the wrong name. It fuelled her because it was so... normal. She did not really know what she wanted. She supposed she wanted to sort of reaction or acknowledgement.

"Where are you going? Are you _scared?_ " she replied. She felt like a leper at this point and was unaware it sounded like something Malfoy would say even if the intention was different.

Malfoy looked as though she was speaking gibberish. "I'm not _scared_ of anything!"

"Uhuh!" snapped Victoria. "Yeah, you totally _didn't_ chicken out of our duel last year!" She knew perfectly well that the whole thing had been a setup so she would get caught by Filch but even so it was ammunition because Malfoy certainly could not prove he had been up to the challenge. Malfoy's discomfort was gone and now replaced by loathing. Crabbe raised his chin and tried to look menacing which he likely had succeeded in if Victoria was not too distraught to notice.

"That was... That's not... I mean I didn't chicken out!" sneered Malfoy. " _You_ just weren't there when I was, is all!" He was lying of course Victoria knew this.

"Oh really? You know what I think? I think you're too scared of me! I think you know you'd lose!" cried Victoria.

"Not true!" hissed Malfoy and Crabbe grunted something which was supposed to confirm this.

"Then prove it!" replied Victoria before she could realise that this was a very stupid thing to say.

Malfoy paused for a moment, his lips pressed together and his cheeks flushed. His eyes darted between Victoria and some place further down the hallway Victoria had her back to. Then Malfoy seemed to straighten his back and shrugged. "I don't fight girls," he said evenly and turned to walk away.

She snapped. She was still the same person! While she did in actuality know that Malfoy was only making up excuses it still it her hard. Yes, she had had a miserable home life before. Yes, her secret had been crushing her. Yes, Malfoy was a git. But she had had some safety in the form of Ron and Hermione – the Weasleys and the common room. She had not wanted that to change. And it was one thing for Ron to be upset that she was a Slytherin – not long ago she would have agreed that Slytherin's are evil and perhaps to some extend she still sort of did. But she had been happy in her own way to embrace the fact that she was a girl and stop pretending. To hear Malfoy put her down for the new thing she was happiest about – her entire motivation for the reveal was heartbreaking.

"Shut up!" she cried too loudly. Malfoy even jumped slightly while checking to see if any professors were approaching. "You're just scared because you _know_ I would win!" And before she knew it her wand was drawn and she was pointing it at Malfoy.

"P... Evans, will you..." hissed Malfoy but it was already too late. There was a loud clang coming from the large painting on the wall where Baldwin Bigwig was now waking up inside his giant cauldron. "You know what? Fine! But you're going to regret this! Where's your room then? We can do it there!"

Victoria had lowered her wand in surprise at the noise and subsequent muttering coming from the painting. "Ehm..." she said, looking back at the boys. "Oh! No, we can't do that! I mean... There's not enough room. How about... How about the grounds?" she replied just thinking of something on the top of her head.

"What you rascals up to?" said Baldwin Bigwig suddenly and he peered over the rim of the cauldron. "Waking people up as you please I see!"

"Whatever, Potter," said Malfoy. "Tomorrow evening then?" Crabbe blocked the painting's view and and started poking the paint with greasy fingers much to Bigwig's disapproval. "Come on, Crabbe!" Malfoy called and the two of them continued down the hallway.

 _'Great. Just great!'_ thought Victoria when she was left alone in the hallway with a painting scolding her and the realisation of what she had just done.

 **TBC**


	35. The Duel

**AN: I own and make nothing. Everything belongs to Queen Jo. Also I apologize for the late update. I've been very overworked. While I am no longer ill, I'm not the same as was before. I'm exhausted quite easily so with work this is going to take longer :/**

* * *

"It's polite to say 'hello'," said Snape coldly from the corner. Honestly, Victoria had not even noticed he was there until he spoke but that really would not have made much of a difference anyway. She had had another awful day and to make matters worse she was supposed to meet Malfoy for a duel tonight. Malfoy had passed her a note in charms telling her to show up behind the broom shed at around 9 o'clock. She had seen that Ron took notice and was surprised he did not say a word about it. But the look on his face told her exactly what he thought that note meant.

"I _said_..." Snape repeated a little louder.

"I _heard_ you," Victoria mumbled and tossed her book bag onto the couch in the living room. She wanted to go to her room and hide but she also did not want to seem suspicious. What had she been thinking? Snape was bound to just take one look at her and give her detention. She turned around to declare that she was going to go take a nap when she was suddenly face to face with the man. How did he move so fast and quietly? She gasped and her moody expression was replaced with nervousness as she suddenly found her chin pushed slightly upwards but his fingers, forcing her to look at him.

"I know perfectly well that this is hard for you – yes, but I would appreciate it if you did not take your displeasure with your former house out on me or the rest of the staff for that matter." He sounded cold but not really angry. At least not the way Victoria had always been used to. She nodded. The last thing she wanted was to have him watching her. He released her even if he did not look reassured by her gesture. "I need to prepare some ingredients for tomorrow's NEWT class. If your homework is completed you will assist me."

He didn't even say it like request but as a matter of fact. He turned and walked towards the armchair he had previously occupied while Victoria went through every argument she could in her head. This was practically detention even if Snape had not said the word! "Erh, it's not all done," she tried.

"Then you will complete it in my classroom while I work," Snape replied dismissive.

"But... I would rather work in my room," Victoria argued.

"Perhaps you would. But your grades last year left a lot to be desired. You will work in my presence and when you have completed any start up assignments you may have, I will correct your work."

Victoria could not help but feel a bit miffed. She was not failing any classes so what was it to him? Besides, how did he know what her grades were outside of potions? And even more importantly, how did she get out of this? Desperate for a solution she said the first thing she could think of. "I lied."

That definitely got his attention as he turned back around to face her. He arched an eyebrow at her and did not say a word but even so Victoria squirmed under his gaze. She felt like he was seeing right through her even though she knew that was impossible. "My homework is done. B-but I can't come help tonight. I have... I have to be somewhere."

Snape didn't move a muscle. He just continued to watch her. She almost felt as if he was warning her not to say something she'd regret later on but she was probably projecting that onto him. "And where..." Snape drawled. "Are you supposed to be?"

"With... Erh... In detention," Victoria squeaked with a sheepish shrug. She could not very well say 'with friends' because the man would probably just ask her to cancel that. Still, she had not expected the look in Snape's eyes. His lips were pressed tightly together and his hands were shaking as if he was fighting the urge to strangle her.

"I should..." Snape muttered. "Not even a week in! Explain!" he demanded raising his voice on the last word.

Victoria was now regretting that excuse quite a bit but she was a _Gryffindor!_ She was not a coward and she was going to show Malfoy that! "I... I was late for charms and... uh... I didn't pay attention. I'm supposed to have detention at 8:30," Victoria improvised. Flitwick did not seem like the sort Snape spoke to often. Perhaps, he'd not check her story.

"Don't think I'm unaware of your struggles but they should never interfere with your studies," Snape said sternly. "Don't be late. Go put your books away properly. I never gave you permission to litter my living room!"

"Yes, sir," Victoria replied much too high pitched.

* * *

The grass was wet and slippery. If it had rained during the evening Victoria had not noticed. She had been allowed to leave her room at 8:15 and from there she had walked all the way up to the charms classroom (just so she had been seen doing it) and then sneaked down the stairs again. She had briefly considered taking her cloak but where would she stash it so Malfoy did not see it? And if something happened could she risk leaving it somewhere? There were not a lot of people passing through the entrance hall at this hour but she still had to wait until the coast was clear before she dared hurry to the doors. She closed the door behind her and turned around to make her way to the agreed spot in good time when someone spoke. "What are you doing?"

Michael Xiao, the unpleasant boy she had had the misfortune to be seated opposite at meals stood before her. His usually sleek oldfashioned hairstyle was slightly messy and his hands was in his pocket. He followed her gaze to said bulging pockets. "Nothing," she replied. "What are _you_ doing?"

"Nothing," Xiao replied, straightening a little.

"Right," Victoria mumbled and shoved past him.

"Hey! Where are you off too?" the boy continued. When Victoria did not reply he followed her much to her annoyance. "I asked you something!"

Victoria spun around. "What's in your pockets?" she hissed, having no patience for Michael.

"Nothing," he replied defensively.

"Exactly. Now leave me alone," Victoria sneered. Xiao moved to block her path.

"I'll tell," he said threateningly.

Victoria was getting really impatient. "All right. Do that. Let's go right now. We can go see if professor Sprout is there!" It was a shot in the dark but is was evidently the right choice as Xiao seemed to pale. Victoria actually only said it because she most certainly was not going to suggest Snape but also because she had a slight suspicion. Whatever was in his pockets, Michael certainly would not want a professor to know about it and she had a suspicion he might have come from the greenhouses. She didn't care. She cared whether he would leave her alone or not.

"At least tell me if I'm missing something," Xiao relented.

"Why should I?" Victoria said continuing on her path. She might have wander around until he got bored and stopped trailing her.

"All right," said the boy and grabbed her sleeve, causing her to stop. He looked over his shoulder before producing what looked like a blue-greyish onion from inside his pocket. "I'm sending them to... someone. They're worth quite a bit. Now will you tell me what you're doing?"

Victoria didn't comment upon the fact that she had absolutely no idea what those onions were even though Xiao clearly thought she should know. "I'm meeting someone," she said. She didn't like him and she certainly did not trust him but he had admitted to, she assumed, stealing whatever that plant was and she was nothing if not fair. "For a duel. So I'd get going if I was you." But she seemed to have peeked Michael's interest for the boy matched her speed and showed no signs of turning back.

"Really? Like, a real duel? Who're you fighting? Oh, and who's you second? Are you showing up alone?"

Victoria was reminded of the last time she and Malfoy had made this agreement. Then Ron had insisted on being her second and she had known nothing about duels at all. "I guess," she said and tried to sound disinterested. "It's Malfoy, all right? Stay out of it."

He seemed pensive for a moment. "I can be your second if you like. Malfoy is going to bring someone for sure."

Puzzled by why on earth Xiao would offer that Victoria glanced at him. "I'll be fine," she replied.

"Yeah, right," he replied but he didn't leave. The two of them wandered in silence to the broom shed near the Quidditch pitch. There was no one flying this evening – people were probably taking their time getting used to school again. Victoria would not have liked seeing Wood and the rest of the team in the air and knowing she would never play with them again. Victoria was not surprised to find the Draco was not there when she arrived. She half expected him not to show up at all. She camped near the the wall of the shed and Xiao spend the time retrieving a small pile of 'onions' from his pockets before he took of his outer robe and wrapped them in that. She assumed it was so they they did not tumble out of his pockets in front of Malfoy. Victoria was getting a bit antsy as they waited. What if he did the same thing again? Not only would she be in massive trouble with Snape but she would have dragged Xiao and whatever he had going on into it as well. She wished she had thought to bring a watch. Then finally, they heard voices approaching.

"Really, P-Evans? You brought a firstie?" Malfoy said mockingly. He was flanked by both Crabbe and Goyle who stood there puffing themselves up as much as they could.

"Not exactly," Victoria replied. "Are you just going to stand there?"

"There are rules and stuff," Malfoy said and crossed his arms, clearly pleased that he knew more than Victoria. "We have to bow. And then if one of us dies, the seconds take over." He grinned as if kind of hoping for this simply because he wanted one of the gorillas to smash Xiao.

"Okay, let's just do it," said Victoria and stood in front of Draco who immediately gave a theatrical bow. As she bent slightly forward to bow it hit her she had not even considered what spells to use. Last year Hermione had given her some but she did not remember which. It hardly mattered as the moment she bent forward Draco cried a spell, something hit her in the head and her legs immediately collapsed under her. Crabbe and Goyle were grunting merrily in approval of Draco's sneak attack while Xiao muttered something Victoria did not have time to listen to. Struggling to regain control of her legs, she rolled to the side and out of the path of a shover of dirt which Goyle had kicked in her direction. She could her Malfoy hissing at before her left leg finally started to do something. She rather furiously sat up and shot the dancing feet spell right back in Malfoy's smug face.

"Tarantallegra!" she yelled furiously and she was shocked at how high pitched she sounded. It almost made her sound frightened. Malfoy immediately dance off to a side and Victoria raised her wand to hit him again before he regained control. She never got the chance as what felt like a freight train smashed into her. Goyle quite obviously had decided to intervene.

"Hey! That's not fair! The rules..." Xiao shouted in the back while Victoria struggled to get Goyle off of her. She should have known Malfoy would know a lot more jinxes than her and she should have known they would cheat. But the time was no longer for honouring rules and agreements. Victoria kicked her way away from Goyle before noticing that Michael was being pushed against the shed by Crabbe.

"Get off him!" she cried and hit Crabbe's back though he did not look like it hurt and instead just turned his attention to her with an empty look in his eyes.

"Periculum!" Malfoy shouted and sparks flew around Victoria's ears. It was clever enough to get Victoria away from Crabbe but it certainly was not a smart move since that was bound to attract some attention. She ducked down to avoid the sparks which turned out well for her as it meant that Malfoy's second spell hit Crabbe instead who fell to the ground stiff as a board.

"Ay! What are yer doing over there?" A voice called out and Victoria immediately recognised it.

"Damn! Goyle, get up, idiot!" Malfoy hissed. In the next moment Victoria was shoved ground by Goyle before the three boys ran as a fast as they could. It was kind of ridiculous since they were likely to attract attention to themselves this way but Victoria didn't think to much about it.

"Hey! Where are you going? Chickens!" she cried after them as she got back on her feet.

"What in 'devil's name is..." Hagrid muttered as he came closer. "What are you lot up to?"

Victoria was breathing heavily and still very much feeling the adrenalin rush when she turned around to face Hagrid. That's when she noticed that Xiao's nose was bleeding and he looked like he was about to pass out yet resiliently keeping on his feet at the same time. Hagrid was nearing them in a hurry but after noticing Michael, Victoria did not consider that problem being seeing would cause – though she might not usually have given it much thought. She rushed over to Xiao and grabbed his arm.

"Xiao! Are you all right?" she asked.

"Yeah, yeah... I'm... I was just about to get him but... I got distracted by the sparkles and..." Xiao said as he seemed to get a hold of himself and pulled his arm out of Victoria's admittedly not very strong grip. Victoria was tempted to sigh. It seemed this boy did not have a different setting than obnoxious but sadly she could not ignore the nosebleed which Xiao himself had not seemed to notice yet.

"You're bleeding, idiot!" she said pointing at his face, a gesture which caused him to retract.

"You again! What are ye doing... Victoria?" Hagrid said as he came near enough to recognise Xiao and then Victoria. The latter spun around with a wide-eyed expression.

"It was Malfoy! Hagrid, you got to help us!" she replied.

"They did a number on you," Hagrid noted, almost bemused, as he pulled Xiao up in a swift motion. "What are ye doing out here?"

"Well, uhh," Victoria began as she tried to think of how to frame it. She didn't like lying to Hagrid and she had rarely had any reason to at all but she was uneasy about blurting out that Snape couldn't know she was there because she would be in massive trouble in front of Xiao. As far as the first year knew, Snape had only ever ignored her and while being scared of being caught was understandable, the general consensus in Slytherin seemed to be that it was better to be caught by Snape – if at all with such things as he'd not take to think of it, Victoria had no idea whether the Slytherins actually got detention from him when the other teachers were not involved. Last year it had certainly seemed to her that Snape never came down upon the snakes and only ever (unfairly) punished the other houses. But then, last year she had also been convinced Snape was trying to kill her and steal the philosopher's stone. Oh, and that he was a complete monster.

"I'd forgotten my book," Xiao said quickly. "And they jumped us. Erm, Evans had promised to help me look. Please, don't tell anyone. I've already been warned about leaving library books out once." Victoria did not know what to say to that. "But we'd better get in before curfew. Evans, are you coming?"

"Yer haven't found yer book yet," Hagrid said, though he seemed to be more interested in helping Xiao than pointing out that this was a flaw in his explanation.

"We'll have a look tomorrow. It doesn't seem to be out here," Victoria interjected.

"Right, ye hat best get going," Hagrid said kindly. "Eh, H-Victoria. Yer wouldn't have time to come by tomorrow? While yer here?"

"Oh! Of course Hagrid! Sure!" she smiled in return, grabbing Xiao's arm and rushing towards the castle.

"You owe me for this!" Michael hissed as he tried to wipe his nose with painful results and a visibly stained robe sleeve.

"Yeah, yeah. It was you who wouldn't leave, you know!" Victoria snapped as thy neared the gates. Still she was incredibly grateful to him – even if he probably did it for his own sake. Now they just had to casually make their way back to their destinations.

* * *

Severus did not know what to make of everything. Once the door closed softly behind the girl he had to fight the urge to punch a wall – but even in this state he knew the broken bones were not worth the satisfaction. Detention? In the first week? Not more than few months ago he would have been delighted to hand out a detention to Harry Potter that early in the term and he would have been just as delighted to hear that the menace had gotten some elsewhere – just as long as the child suffered somewhere. But now? Now it was _his_ daughter. And he found it mattered to him. He wondered what Minerva would think. But he had told them repeatedly that he was no good at this and every time he had they argued against him. Then whenever he actually took any decisions they pitched a fit. _'We believe in your judgements and abilities so long as you do everything exactly like we would have done it.'_ Yes, that was pretty much the gist of it. What now then? He could not continue just sending her off or leaving himself. He wanted to smack her to the moon and back but for one thing Minerva was bound to skin him alive and for another, he was worried. He had told the girl not to put her faith in him and he had meant it. For her sake.

When he was a child no one would have ever said the Snape boy had a temper. He had always appeared quiet. But they never knew. Severus had not found his temper until he met Lily. When he found something to fight for. First it had been Petunia. Then later the other children at Hogwarts and then, finally, when he became a teenager - his father. And it was an even match. Then they would say he had his father's temper. What if he did? The truth was that he was terrified. But he cared about her, did he not? He had to admit that to himself. Did it change things? His father had not cared whether Severus lived or died – he was absolutely sure of that. Why had she not mentioned this detention earlier? Did she not care? Did she think she could hide it from him? If he had known he could have asked Flitwick to let him take care of it. The old professor would have allowed it. He had previously when Severus had asked to take care of Slytherins so he could move the date and let they play Quidditch matches. But regardless he was torn. He was sure Minerva would say yelling some sense into Victoria would be wrong of him somehow but was he supposed to just stand around while she got detentions left and right, sneered at him and disappeared as it pleased her? With everything that was happening?

One thing he did know: He needed to figure out what was going on with Trelawney. Even if he could not stand being near the woman. Still, that would have to wait as he had too much work to do. And he would like to be here to see that Victoria returned at a proper hour – for entirely school regulation-related reasons of course. In an attempt to distract himself from the matter of the girl and what to do about her, he listed everything he knew about that strange bird in his head. He remembered the day he had first seen her. He breathed deeply as the sting of what it had all lead to returned as it always did. Some wounds would never heal. At first it had been almost laughable. Just like Dumbledore, Severus was beginning to consider the whole thing a waste of his time. He knew Minerva could not stand the woman – even if she did treat her respectfully, mostly because she considered her a complete scam. But Severus knew better. Trelawney was a proper seer even if Minerva and Sybill herself did not believe it. And that fact had brought nothing but ruin. Thus momentarily satisfied with pushing all the blame over on her, Severus paused. The old man had to be losing it. A few months ago Severus would have sworn that Dumbledore wouldn't trust Trelawney to peel a potato. Yet, here she was, sneaking around on his orders.

He was not there when Victoria returned – having been working in the classroom. But her robe was tossed over the armrest of the sofa once he returned. Agitated, he picked it up and went to the door of her room which was shut as expected. He knocked.

"Yes?" The voice sounded slightly preoccupied and the word was spoken with much less attitude that he expected from her. Opening the door to find her sitting on the bed with a book. She had changed her clothes – the school uniform she had worn lay on the chair.

"I don't appreciate you using my living room as a wardrobe," Severus stated as he took in her demeanour. She looked nervous and like she was trying to hide that fact. She had good reason to be. They had yet to go over her getting a detention. He tossed the robe on the chair with the rest of her clothes to emphasise his point.

"Oh, sorry," she replied and jumped of the bed to take the robe and presumably put it in the actual wardrobe. She did not sound sorry about that in the least and her nonchalant (and relieved?) attitude caused Severus to huff. He held onto it a little but did let go when she tugged it out of his hand.

"You're back earlier than I thought," he said stiffly. She paused, then proceeded to put the robe in the wardrobe.

"Oh, yeah. It wasn't too bad," she shrugged as she turned back around, not looking at him at all. To Severus everything had been strangely divided. Once the girl was not only his but looked nothing like the boy he had hated for a year – it was easy to pretend they were different persons. But they weren't. Not in the slightest and this was exactly the sort of thing that would have sent in him a rage last year. It was what he considered an annoying, nonchalant attitude. She was either lying or Flitwick was a softhearted old fool. Possibly both.

"I _see..._ " he commented. "And I suppose you thought I would have nothing more to say on the matter?"

"It wasn't potions!" she replied with some confusion. "And McGonagall never said anything!"

"Regardless of what professor McGonagall would or would not say, I am not speaking as your head of house but your... guardian. I am responsible for you now that you've chosen to remain with me," he said, casually disregarding the fact that it had also been his own decision to stay with her this summer and to have her remain with him. True, she had had to ask but he had wanted that as much as she did. Probably more, he imagined. "You grades and your performance reflect upon me."

Victoria suddenly crossed her arms and jumped back onto the bed. "Nobody knows I stay here."

"The people who matter do and that is besides the point. I don't appreciate the attitude," Severus replied crossly. What did she want from him? Just a roof over her head, food, clothes and the permission to do whatever she bloody well pleased whenever she pleased? "And with everything I have done to protect you I would at the very least expect some respect and gratitude. While you live under my roof – so to speak, you will follow my rules and directions."

"It's not _your_ roof – it's the school's," Victoria mumbled, either not caring or realising that he had been obviously metaphorical.

Severus seethed with anger and his fingers twitched to grab her toss her in the nearest cauldron. " _Well..._ " he said stiffly. "You're _very_ welcome to go to your dorm instead!"

Her head snapped up. For a moment there was only surprise and mortification there. And then... "Maybe I will!" she cried furiously.

He was surprised of course as he had expected her to apologise and declare she would not go to the place she had so dreaded. Severus schooled his expression into a stiff mask and straightened his robes mechanically. "As you please. You had better leave at once if you don't wish to be out after curfew." And with that he spun around and slammed the door behind him with a great deal more force than he had intended.

* * *

Victoria felt the wave of air produced by the door on her face. Why on earth had she said that? Al she had aimed to do was distract him from the fact her explanations were vague but she had not wanted to do this! Victoria took a few deep breath while her hands were clenched in fists. Why did he not understand? If she had wanted someone to lock her up somewhere and make stupid rules she would have stayed with the Dursleys. If she had wanted him to sneer at her and tell her she was doing poorly all she would need to do is pay attention to him in potions. She had wanted to spite him just now. In a way she still very much did. It hurt. It hurt to be told to leave – even if it had technically been her own suggestion. She was terrified of the thought of going there but she did not feel like begging Snape to be able to stay either. She pulled her knees up under her chin and sat there on her bed, rocking back and forth for a moment before she finally made a decision.

 **TBC.**

 **What do _you_ think should happen next?**

 **I will be looking at any comment suggestions here and on P &S. Who knows? I might pick yours!**


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